Monday, November 17, 2008

The State of my sport's teams address

CHANGE: The Wyoming Cowboys
(Insert new coach's name here) "the change we need for Wyoming football."
- Wyoming is dead last in the nation in turnover margin and points scored.
- Wyoming's wins are against: Ohio U., North Dakota State, the artist formerly known as Tennessee, and San Diego State. I don't know what those teams combined FBS win total is, but I bet it wouldn't take both hands to get there.
YES WE CAN - Creighton Blue Jays
Creighton is going to the tournament. And I'm not talking about one of those 20-13 seasons where you watch the selection show and sweat your ass off to see if your team gets in, I'm talking about being one of "bracketology's" locks by early February. They have the schedule to get to that status. Now, the easy part, they just need to win.
Amazing win yesterday. Down by 16 with about 10 minutes to go and suddenly the "buzz" of the Qwest Center swung the momentun (not to be confused with the "buzz" of Juicelaw and Twinkies after five, 20 once, $8 beers.) If I had any testacles at all, I would be in St. Louis in March for the conference tourney.
On a side note, I really enjoyed Nick Bahe (a player from last year) as the color guy for the game. Too bad he transferred from Kansas last year, or he would have gotten to share in their championship last year as their 12th man.
LET'S BE CLEAR: the Miami Dolphins
The Fish are making the playoffs. I know they don't have any "marquee" wins, but they are playing decent football and have a fairly easy schedule left. What a great turnaround. This is the first time I've really paid much attention since Marino was throwing passes with a gigantic ski boot on in the pocket. Tony Sporano looks like he should be a superstar driver in Nascar.
Another sports team I like that nobody gives a shit about: UND Fighitng Sioux (predictable slow start, but will be in the mix after Christmas). Not that I know anything about hockey.
Completely irrelevant leagues/teams that I don't give a shit about: NBA, Timberwolves, bowling, boxing, UFC, MMA.
Three more notes:
1) I noticed that Southern Illinois plays Duke on Thursday. That is like fucking Al Qaeda versus Hamas. I despise both of them. However, I believe it is in Carbondale, Ill, where no road team has been known to win. Interesting to see what happens.
2) I killed a deer last Sunday (a doe). I blew a hole in her neck about 4-5 inches wide with a high powered rifle from about 30 yards away. I completely enjoyed the whole experience.
3) Juice inspired me to fire up the NCAA 2K8 on PS2 (my inferior technology) last night. So far Florida Gulf Coast is 3-2. I like that you have to start out at small, shitty schools and earn your way to a contract with bigger schools.


gotwinkies said...

And yes, I ripped off that posting "idea" directly from Bill Simmons, including the opening remark.

gotwinkies said...

Also, sorry that i was too lazy to look it up before, but Southern Illinois plays Duke in NEw York in the coaches vs. cancer tournament, not in Carbondale Illinois (or as I like to call it, the seventh circle of hell).

Juicelaw said...

I was going to say. Duke doesn't play anyone unless it is in New York or Durham until ACC. Carbondale would be on the bottom 3 places Duke would want to play. It would also be on the bottom 3 of places I would want to live. Never been, but I've seen enough toothless hilbillies in St. Louis and Omaha to know better.