Super Sunday

Time to settle in for 9.5 hours of pregame shows. For the 10,000 calories today (the wife and I spent $75 on snacks and booze for the two of us yesterday. I mean, so what if the saturated fat combined with the overwhelming stress might kill me. It might be another 13 years until this happens again.). For the three hour football game that will take 5 hours. For the commercials that non-football fans look forward to, but which haven't been good in a long time. For the 12 minute national anthem. For the pregame show to end, followed by the "kickoff show" which will take another 40 minutes. For Aaron Rodgers to have one of the best Super Bowl performances that a quarterback has ever had. For Big Ben to get sacked 5 times and picked twice. For the Pack to hoist the Lombardi trophy under an avalanche of green and gold confetti. For it to perhaps get a little dusty in here.

THE PLAN

Eating a lot. Watching Bucky smoke Sparty. Then finding something to do for three hours or so so I don't kill myself.

OTHER THINGS

-Rumor has it that an hour ago (8:30 a.m.), there were people lined up outside waiting to get into Stadium View to watch the Super Bowl. Reaffirms that a) Packer fans are awesome, b) I'm happy to be in my warm house drinking coffee.

-Last night I went to a b-day part for a friend. That douchebag "Fence Painter guy" with his douchy fence hat and douchy overalls showed up out of the blue, ate free food, and tried to get chicks to blow him. I hate that fucking guy.

-I'm REALLLY stressed. I had multiple Super Bowl dreams last night. 1) On a 3rd quarter FG attempt, the snap went through Matt Flynn's hands. The score was 28-27 Pit at the time. Later in my dream, in which I was at a mall drinking, not in view of TVs, and it was somehow attached to Cowboy Stadium, but not really that close, I found out the Packers won and Rodgers was MVP. Also a Predator, from the movie Predator was in the dream, and he spoke English.

-It is hard to put into words what a win or a loss would mean to me. And what it would mean to Packer fans everywhere. This is probably going to mean the difference between the best offseason ever, and not dreading a work stoppage, and the worst offseason ever, compounded by said work stoppage.
GO PACK GO!

Uncle

OK, I've officially had enough of the buildup. As much as I'm enjoying every media outlet on the planet earth pound every angle of every possible story of both teams into my head, I'm good now. We can play football. After the 73 hour pregame show that I think started yesterday afternoon on Fox, the 38 minute player introductions, which are only long because the Packers have 15 guys on IR and the 12 minute national anthem (take the OVER!!), we can finally play football.

I'm officially getting stressed. I would just like the game to be played now. I've got the final score: Packers 28, Steelers 13. I feel like Rodgers is too good, and I believe we will move the ball well. I don't think the Steelers offense is all that great. It is our time. Whatever happens, it is going to take me a long, long time to get over it.

Super Bowl Week: Monday

I'm not going to lie. I doubt I will post every day this week. But here is what I have thought about today:

-The NFL Network, starting today, is running ONE HUNDRED HOURS of LIVE coverage this week. I will probably watch a lot of it. Why not?

-People in Green Bay are now bitching that the Packers don't want to do their potential parade downtown because a) I guess the one in 1997 was a shitstorm and b) the downtown kinda sucks. So they are having one on the route from the airport to Lambeau, which is not any different in my mind. But someone has to complain about something, so some bitch called in the radio station and said they should just "change the name to the Ashwaubenon Packers, because the Packers don't care about the city of Green Bay." OK, first, Ashwaubenon basically fucking is Green Bay, so shut up. It isn't like they are having the parade in OshVegas or Milwaukee or something. If you didn't live here you would have no idea if you were in Green Bay or not, much like when you are in the Metrodome, you don't know if you are in Minneapolis, or hell. Second, did this person really say "they don't care about the city of Green Bay???" Why? Because the Packers single handedly bring in $18 million dollars to the entire county every single time they play a game? Because Green Bay as the world knows it EXISTS almost entirely because of the Packers? This bitch loves her some He Who Shall Not Be Named. I know it.

-Some homeless couple won a free trip to the Super Bowl. First, if they are Packer fans, good on them. I'm jealous, but I'm not going to hate. Second, you are a fucking dumbass if you are homeless and don't sell these. I don't know your whole story, but seriously, if I was homeless for more than a day and someone handed me $10,000 (I've heard these tickets are the kind that are more like $25,000), you better fucking believe I'm selling them immediately. If they end up going, they are not real homeless people. I'm just saying. Third, I would like to know HOW they won. Especially since this thing was based on social media (Facebook and Twitter) and was a scavenger hunt of sorts. My semi-limited experience with homeless people would lead me to believe that laptops are scarce among the homeless community. I'm just saying.

-If you root for the Steelers, you also rooted for the Nazis. Fact.

Not Much of a Day

I have come to the conclusion that two things should be illegal:

1) There should never be a Sunday without an NFL game (the Pro Bowl does not count). The owners want to play 18 games? Screw that. I say play 52! Seriously, I'm probably going to take a three hour nap and maybe play some vids. Productive day!

2) Green Bay Packer players should not be allowed to open Twitter accounts if they are incapable of not saying something stupid while your team is going to the Super Bowl. And this means you Nick Barnett and Jermichael Finley. I didn't necessarily disagree with them, and Rodgers probably shouldn't have called them out. But Twitter started it. So shut the fuck up. Twitter should only be allowed when you are going to say awesome things like YOTTO and Dallastexassuperbowl and Super Bowl or Die.

The Aftermath: Local Edition

I want to start off by saying that it is Tuesday evening and I haven't stopped smiling yet. I think if someone told me that they would give me 100,000:1 odds on the Packers making the Super Bowl if I gave them $100, knowing before I bet that the following was going to happen: early season-ending injuries by Ryan Grant, Jermichael Finley and Nick Barnett, season enders by 13 others, back-to back losses to the Redskins and Dolphins, a loss to Detroit, an injury to Aaron Rodgers and three straight road playoff games; I would have told that person to keep their money. Yet here we are. At some point after Ray Rhodes and Mike Sherman nearly drove a championship team into the ground, I doubted if the Pack would ever get back. But we are headed to Dallas.

Here are the top five things that stood out to me about Sunday, in chronological order:

1) Watching the game in the comfort controlled climate of my house. Good every time.

2) Cutler's fake injury

3) Raji's pick-six and subsequent dance.

4) Woodson's postgame speech. "One. Two. Three. WHITE HOUSE!". Gives me goosebumps.


5) The bonfire in the middle of the street next to my house. Yup, that happened. People in Wisconsin were standing outside in sub-zero temperatures around a bonfire set in the middle of a public street in a residential neighborhood. And there was DJ equipment set up, and a Packer music playlist going at relatively high volumes, including all of your favorites: "Go You Packers, Go, Go", "The Bears Still Suck", "I'm a Cheesehead Baby", "We Go Green Bay", "Where the Hell is Neenah", "G-Force", "I Love My Green Bay Packers" and newbies: "CM3" and "Fly Like A Cheesehead". Finally, one neighbor is a Steeler fan, so a large corn stalk apparently left over from Halloween decorations was burned in effigy in his front yard. No arrests, injuries or burned down houses were reported.

Aside from game analysis, which, like the last game will make me want to kill myself by the time the game actually rolls around, there are a few key questions to answer:

1) What will be the random, token trinket that takes off and makes someone a millionaire in Wisconsin? In '97 and '98 it was whoever invented the "Packer flag". I've heard they have similar things that are popular in L.A. for the Lakers. These things were ridiculous and obnoxious, and people flew those things for YEARS afterwards. And somewhere in the neighborhood of 98% of cars had them during the last two year Super Bowl run.


2) What am I doing for the game? Do I fly solo (other than my wife) for the game? Do I attempt to put together a select group of individuals that I can stand to watch the game with? Do I do a standard "Super Bowl Party" that I'm guessing I will get invited to? Do I do the unthinkable and go down to a bar in Green Bay and pour out into the streets with the locals after a win? Do I suck 12 dicks at once to raise enough cash to go to Dallas? Time will tell.

NFL Predictions

Looking to improve on last year's abortion.



NFC East

1) Giants 11-5

2) Eagles 10-6

3) Cowboys 8-8

4) Redskins 6-10



NFC West

1) Seahawks 10-6

2) Cardinals 9-7

3) 49ers 6-10

4)Rams 4-12



NFC North

1) Packers 10-6

2) Bears 10-6

3) Queens 8-8

4) Lions 3-13



NFC South

1)Falcons 12-4

2) Saints 10-6

3) Panthers 7-9

4) Bucs 5-11



AFC North

1) Steelers 13-3

2) Ravens 11-5

3) Bengals 6-10

4) Browns 4-12

AFC South

1) Texans 11-5

2) Colts 11-5

3) Titans 9-7

4) Jaguars 8-8

AFC East

1) Patriots 14-2

2) Dolphins 7-9

3) Bills 6-10

4) Jets 3-13

AFC West

1) Chargers 13-3

2) Broncos 6-10

3) Chiefs 5-11

4) Raiders 2-14

Playoffs:

Wild Card

Packers over Bears
Seahawks over Eagles
Texans over Colts
Chargers over Ravens

Divisional

Falcons over Seahawks
Packers over Giants
Patriots over Texans
Steelers over Chargers

Conference

Falcons over Packers
Patriots over Steelers

Super Bowl

Patriots over Falcons

Not Even a Good Ripping

I actually agree with about 90% of this post (other than Lambeau sucking). Probably makes me a douchebag, but whatever. I love me some Drew Magery, but he couldn't even come up with much to tell me why the Packers suck, and he is a fucking Viqueen fan! He also picked us to win the Super Bowl (which is unlikely to happen). If you have a few hours, check out this whole series, because they are pretty fucking good.