Friday Afternoon Coast

It's now 3. Been here for about 8.5 hours. Got a whole bunch of work done. Now I am in full on stare at the clock mode. I was just given another project, but am going to do what I tend to do on Friday afternoons, which is open the file in front of me on my desk, and surf the Internet while pretending to "research". I will also try to stare down at it, or pretend to write when one of my bosses walks by. 80% of the time, it works all the time. I've been at the job for 6 months now, and haven't been caught (at least where anyone said anything) so I'm going to go ahead and assume it is working. Plus, I was here an hour plus earlier than anyone else, and didn't take an hour and a half lunch. No opinions or intelligence to pass along really. I had a sweet trade on NBA2k9 last night: Bogut, Mbah-a-Moute (who is WAY better in real life than on the game), Francisco Elson and a 2nd rd pick to the Lakers for Lamar Odom, 2 1st rd picks and some asshole bench warmer to replace Elson who was like the 14th guy on my roster. The Lakers accepted except that selfish prick Odom refused to waive his no trade clause. 75 minutes before I can leave without permission.

Completely Insane Top 25

I've been randomly doing this for awhile now. Here is my Top 25 list after one game. I think the real polls and the BCS are generally crocks of shit. I am willing to admit there are folks who know alot more than I do, especially with the talent level and potential of given teams. Those opinions have almost no weight in my poll. Weight is given only as a starting point for consideration because there are well over 100 teams and I don't really have time to analyze all of them. My poll takes into account who you play, where you play them and if you won. After one game, my poll is pretty fucked up, but ends up looking alot like the "real" polls by the end of the year. The message I have is: Why reward a team for playing a I-AA team? Eventually, "Number 1" Georgia will move up, but in my opinion Alabama's neutral site win against a "Top 10" team was the most impressive win so far.

1. Alabama 1-0
2. Missouri 1-0
3. East Carolina 1-0
4. USC 1-0
5. Wake Forest 1-0
6. UCLA 1-0
7. Kentucky 1-0
8. Utah 1-0
9. TCU 1-0
10. Oklahoma St. 1-0
11. Boston College 1-0
12. Fresno St. 1-0
13. Florida 1-0
14. Auburn 1-0
15. Texas 1-0
16. Wisconsin 1-0
17. Kansas 1-0
18. Oregon 1-0
19. South Carolina 1-0
20. Cal 1-0
21. Nebraska 1-0
22. Georgia 1-0
23. Ohio St. 1-0
24. Oklahoma 1-0
25. LSU 1-0

A Message From the Commissioner

Can you smell it bitches? Can you smell it? We are a mere one day away from the pseudo-official start to fantasy football season!!!! The keeper portion of the 3rd annual Orenthal James Simpson Football Association draft is set to begin tomorrow with the defending champions out of St. Paul, MN by way of Gilmanton, WI by way of the Water's Edge Bar being forced to select up to three players from his exceedingly subpar team. This is also the beginning of the end for the two expansion teams to our little league, as they see the "top 24" players come off the board before they are given an opportunity to fuck their teams up. Just out of curiosity, the list below shows the first 24 players selected last year (in no particular order, and not necessarily all keepers:

P. Manning
M. Jones-Drew
R. Bush
S. Alexander
D. Brees
L. Johnson
T. Brady
C. Palmer
W.McGahee
T. Holt
L. Maroney
J. Addai
R. Brown
F. Gore
S. Jackson
M. Harrison
C. Johnson
W. Parker
T. Henry
T. Owens
R. Johnson
S. Smith
B. Westbrook
LDT

You will notice a number of them could be called "terrible to average at best" and arguably in hindsight (I like that game!!) weren't worthy of being in the top 24. At least according to me, so I can't wait to hear a certain member of this blog bitch when I name some of his players. MJD, Bush, Alexander, Granmama, Palmer, McGahee, Maroney, Brown, Gore, Jackson, Harrison, Fast Willie, Henry, R. Johnson, Steve Smith. That makes FIFTEEN out of the 24 that if we all had the hindsight of how they would perform, would not have been picked that early. At the time, they were all pretty sure things, but due to injuries or death (Shaun Alexander) we might have wanted the pick back. I should also point out that even with last year, many of those picks should be upgraded to good because of the "keeper" status of our league. The MVP (Brady) and LVP (Harrison) both game in the top 24, and the Super Bowl MVP (McNabb) did not. I guess what I'm trying to say is the draft is an inexact science, and the fun starts tomorrow with the world's only 45 day long fantasy draft.

Updates and analysis will be frequent and scathing as I, the one man commissioner, supreme ruler, executioner and masturbater, flex my love muscle upon the rest of the league.

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go organize my action figure collection and get ready for my D&D game tonight.

Peace.

Laying Down The Guantlet to Loaf Cobra

Bear and I currently reside in a 9-team fantasy football keeper league. We desperately need a 10th. I am sure Bear hasn't gotten around to talking to you about this given his busy, busy schedule. This is the third year of the league, so inherently, you and the other new guy, are going to be at a major disadvantage initially because the "top" 24 guys will be gone. The good thing is that you would presumably get 4 of the top 8 picks (assuming everyone keeps three), and the fact that we are all fucking morons and are bound to let someone go that is really good. Other factors: cost is $40, draft is August 16th in Stoughton, WI. Bear is allegedly going, even though he hasn't been to a draft yet, and has made the playoffs two years in a row due to his shrewd dealing (traded Shaun Alexander (whom he picked up off waivers) for Tom Brady two years ago) and the Hitler-esque way in which he rules his team. Drafting via list can be done. You are a gigantic, bulbous, and smelly vagina if you don't.