Fake Championship Belts!

PACKERS

Fucking ridiculous win yesterday. I died twice, and was brought back to life thanks to the defibrillator I bought at Shopko Express before the game yesterday. I came to just in time to see Tramon pick off the Vick pass and then almost celebrate his way to a loss. That was fucking scary, but I didn't realize it while it was happening until Charlie Peprah tackled him at the four. Defense did a tremendous job.

Offense was solid enough, especially James "DNP-Coach's Decision" Starks. If he isn't inactive next week (seriously, enough, he is the best RB on our active roster. Give him every opportunity. Spell him with B-Jax on third down, and sprinkle in a Kuuuuuuuhn carry), he could be a big difference maker.

James Jones is lucky the Packers won, or his house might have been burned down. That was terrible. He has not earned Donald Driver status where he can drop two passes a game and everyone still loves him.

I have a lot of confidence in the Pack next week. Atlanta has better defense and is more fundamentally sound perhaps, but they lack the explosion and danger that Philly has. I fully expect our defense to shut the Falcons down. The last meeting came down to special teams, and we lost. While I would be an idiot if I was confident in our special teams, I just have a feeling in this one.

BEARS

Fuck. You. Bears. The Seahawks? Really? The following things happened on the "NFC North Champion" Chicago Bears schedule this year: Wk1 (W v. Detroit after Calvin Johnson caught a TD pass and the officials disagreed even after a review confirmed that it was in fact a TD), Wk2 (Beat Dallas when Wade Phillips was still coach), Wk 4 (L v. NYG, Cutler sacked 39 times on national TV and gets hurt), Wk 5 (W v. Carolina, luck into playing the worst team in the league in the week you have no QB), Wk 6 (L v. Seattle), Wk 7 (L v. Washington), Wk 9 (W v. a really bad Buffalo team), Wk 10 (W v. really bad Viking team), Wk 11 (W v. Miami and their 3rd fucking string QB Tyler Thigpen), Wk 13 (W v. Detriot and Drew Stanton, their 3rd string QB), Wk14 (raped by New England at home), Wk 15 (the only good thing they did, end He Who Shall Not Be Named's Career, and then played 3 1/2 quarters against Joe "3rd String QB" Webb).

That is THREE third string QBs, and wins against Carolina and Buffalo. And now they get a fucking 8-9 team in the second round of the playoffs. Horseshoe up their collective asses.

WAR EAGLE!!

I somehow have $90 riding on this fake ass championship game tonight. So I need Auburn to win. So I guess I have a reason to root and watch intently. Forgot to mention that if Oregon wins, Sports Bottle wins the $90 to put towards the fourth of his 17 tropical vacations this year.

By the way, if you need a reason to hate the BCS, read "Death to the BCS". I did. I'm angry. It makes me even more angry when cocsuckers like Bill Hancock says shit like "we are more likely to go back to the old bowl system than a playoff if you people don't stop yelling at us about the BCS." OF COURSE you are more likely to go back to the old system. Because the cocksuckers in charge (commissioners of the Big Six Conferences) control all of the good bowls! So they will keep making money either way! And really, they don't give a shit about money or they would have a playoff. They want power. The book isn't the best book I've ever read, but it is very interesting. And I'm officially convinced to convert the Get Together to a 16-team tournament, with all games except the championship at the higher seed. Still all the conference champs get in.

So War Fuckin' Eagle!! ( I just hope I don't have to give the money back in 5 years when they take this fake championship away after they find the pictures of Cam Newton and Tim Tebow doing blow off of strippers tits).

ROLL TIDE!

Not that I would know anything about said matters, but this is the greatest piece of legal writing I've ever seen. I now hate Alabama a little bit less.

Bowl Season and Licking the Bowl Season

Allow me to beat a dead horse for a minute. The BCS/Bowl system is horrendous. It is so horrendous that I had to join one of those bowl pick pool things in order to even consider following the bowls. Have you LOOKED at some of the matchups? I'm not even going to bother getting into all of them specifically, but there are multiple games involving (6-6) teams. Ohio (9-4) is playing Marshall (6-6) on the day after Christmas IN DETROIT!! Tell me again how this is better than Juice's Dream Division I-A Football Get Together? There is ONE game that matters, and that is the fake championship. Might some others be entertaining? Sure, but at the end of the day, are you going out of your way to watch them (unless you have money on it?) I think that THIS above all other things is why the system is so flawed and how any argument against it is stupid and wrong.

BEING FAT

The holidays suck for alot of reasons (crowds, weather, being forced to see your family, shopping, etc.). One reason the holidays are great is the food. The holidays generally give you an excuse to eat things covered in chocolate and frosting in high numbers. But almost a year ago, I made a pledge to myself that due to all of my health issues, I was going to make a concerted effort to keep around a certain weight, even if that meant deprivation. Well, this goal is making the holidays awful. My lovely wife made about 73 dozen cookies and a whole bunch of peanut butter cups. I ate approximately 8 dozen cookies and 87 peanut butter cups in a week or so last week. This lead to major weight gain. Now, I am on a diet of sorts, and assholes from all over keep bringing candy and cookies into work and force me to walk by them all day long.

"Moderation" says everyone. Well, fuck everyone. I'm not capable of moderation when it comes to anything really. Put something I like in front of me and I'm eating it until I feel sick. Give me an adult beverage and take my keys and I'm getting blacked out. I can't have one. And for this reason, I hate the holidays.

Biased Reactions and Not Working

BCS

-Texas v. Alabama is probably the correct matchup if you ignore the fact that there are 3 other undefeated teams that don't get any chance for a championship for reasons that will never make sense to me (see The Get Together).

-Texas got there under dubious circumstances. Someone needs to explain to me how they were allowed that extra second. I understand that arguably the clock read 0:01 at the exact millisecond that the ball hit the ground. I can accept that it was arguably correct if the basis for "correctness" is the millisecond the ball hit the ground. And believe me when I tell you that I'm all for the use of technology, and if my team was Texas, I would not be complaining. BUT, you have got to be fucking kidding me. We are really going to decide who is going to the championship game based on how fast some dude in a booth can hit the stop button on the scoreboard clock? Since when has this ever been reviewable? I watch ALOT of football, and I've never once seen the clock reviewed in football. Basketball? All the time. Would this play have been reviewed if the roles were reversed? No fucking way. And how do we know that the clock wasn't started late on play number 41, and that really there should be negative 3 seconds left?? If we are going to look at the clock on the penultimate play, then shouldn't we make sure it is correct on EVERY play? End of bitching.

-Nice cop out by the BCS sticking TCU and Boise in the same game because they were given no choice but to put them both in their fake "Series". I would hate to see Iowa, Georgia Tech, Ohio St. or Oregon get run off the field by either or both. That could harm the idea that TCU and Boise HAD to go undefeated to get there, but in some years you can see a 4 loss team from a "BCS conference". So dumb. This also might be the best bowl game of them all. How is that going to look when that game gets the best ratings?

JERSEY SHORE

-New show on MTV. It is a must see. 8 random stereotyped "Guidos" and "Guidettes" from the East Coast (and they call themselves this), with no redeeming qualities whatsoever, are put in a shore house for the summer and given free booze. Hilarity ensues. Lets just say there is a dude who calls himself "The Situation", and he manages to work the phrase "The Situation" into just about every conversation. And it is awesome.

GAME TONIGHT

-I'm picking a relatively close Packer win. And me being frozen. And me not getting anything done at work today and leaving early.

HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED

-I'm heartbroken that they got thier asskicked. Really. 2 picks in first December game after 3 in first 11? Seems about right. Nice garbage, stat stuffing TD Chilly. Ridiculous.

Road to The Get Together Top 32: Week 12

Rank, Team, Record, Last Week, BCS Rank
(1) Alabama (11-0) (1) 2
(2) TCU## (11-0) (3) 4
(3) Texas (11-0) (2) 3
(4) Florida (11-0) (5) 1
(5) Boise St (11-0) (7) 6
(6) Georgia Tech (10-1) (4) 7
(7) Cincinnati (10-0) (6) 5
(8) Ohio St## (10-2) (8) 10
(9) Oregon (9-2) (9) 8
(10) BYU (9-2) (10) 19
(11) Iowa (10-2) (11) 11
(12) Penn St (10-2) (17) 13
(13) Houston (9-2) (14) 23
(14) Utah (9-1) (16) 21
(15) Central Michigan (9-2) (23) NR
(16) Virginia Tech (8-3) (18) 14
(17) Pitt (9-1) (13) 9
(18) Oklahoma St. (9-2) (21) 12
(19) Temple (9-2) (22) NR
(20) LSU (8-3) (12) 15
(21) Miami (8-3) (20) 17
(22) USC (7-3) (15) 20
(23) Cal (8-3) (30) 22
(24) Oregon St. (8-3) (28) 16
(25) Nebraska (8-3) (26) NR
(26) Troy## (8-3) (27) NR
(27) Stanford (7-4) (19) NR
(28) Clemson (8-3) (29) 18
(29) Ole Miss (8-3) NR 25
(30) Nevada (8-3) (31) NR
(31) Northwestern (8-4) NR NR
(32) East Carolina* (7-4) (32) NR

*= projected autobid, would not qualify without conference title
##= clinched automatic bid

ON THE BUBBLE (HOWEVER UNLIKELY SOME MAY BE):

South Florida (7-3), Wisconsin (8-3), Navy (8-3), Idaho (7-4), Fresno St. (7-4), William & Mary (9-2), West Virginia (7-3), Auburn (7-4), Richmond (10-1), Notre Dame (6-5), South Carolina (6-5), Kentucky (7-4), Texas Tech (7-4), Georgia (6-5), Missouri (7-4), Villanova (10-1), North Carolina (8-3), Arizona (6-4), Oklahoma (6-5), Arkansas (7-4), Uconn (5-5), Boston College (7-4), UCLA (6-5), Rutgers (7-3), Florida St. (6-5)

ANALYSIS

Just a reminder of how this works. Each conference champion gets an automatic bid. And not just BCS conferences. All of them. Top 8 seeds will host regional on their campuses, with the possibility of hosting the first two rounds. Quarterfinals and Semifinals are at various bowl sites. Title game is at the Rose Bowl, because the Rose Bowl kicks ass.

According to the T-3000, it appears that the Florida/Alabama winner will be the number one overall seed barring any huge upset to either prior to the SEC title game. It will be tight between TCU, Texas and the Florida/Alabama loser for number two, especially if Florida beats Alabama. Texas has the built in advantage of the conference title game, while TCU is not interested in making extra cash and tiring themselves out before the Get Together. They will take their two homes games and an extra week off. The T-3000 has been doing this both publicly and not for about 4 years now, so that I can bitch about the BCS, and it has had the same top 2 as the BCS every year, even when all the crazy shit happens in the last week of college football, like is going to happen in the next two weeks.

On a side note, if we have FIVE undefeated teams. Can we seriously stop making up bullshit to defend the BCS??? It is one thing if you are talking about one undefeated against a slew of one loss, or even a slew of one loss teams, on the theory that if you lose a game you can't bitch. But to go unbeaten and be barred from a title shot is a crime. ESPECIALLY, if you are a team like Cincinnati, who might go unbeaten in a BCS conference, and get fucked. Not that anyone getting fucked is right, but the BCS goes out of its way to favor those from big conferences.

But really, it is a perfect system and should not be destroyed.

Road to The Get Together Top 32: Week 7

This week, we get down to the real business. The BCS is out. And the BCS is stupid and wrong. It is based 2/3 on reputation and potential, and 1/3 computers. My rankings are based on what you have done on the field so far. It is as simple as that. New this week, the teams marked with an asterisks would get into the Get Together with an automatic bid based on a conference title. Will Virginia win the ACC? Likely not, but right now they are technically in first. Also new is that the final number is BCS ranking instead of AP.

(1) Alabama (7-0) (1) 2
(2) Iowa (7-0) (2) 6
(3) Cincinnati (6-0) (10) 5
(4) Georgia Tech (6-1) (13) 12
(5) BYU (6-1) (8) 16
(6) USC (5-1) (16) 7
(7) Florida (6-0) (6) 1
(8) Texas (6-0) (18) 3
(9) Boise St (6-0) (9) 4
(10) TCU (6-0) (7) 8
(11) Miami (5-1) (17) 10
(12) Idaho (6-1) (15) NR
(13) LSU (5-1) (4) 9
(14) Oregon (5-1) (5) 11
(15) Virginia Tech (5-2) (3) 14
(16) Pitt (6-1) (21) 20
(17) Central Michigan (6-1) (23) NR
(18) Houston (5-1) (25) 17
(19) South Florida (5-1) (11) 21
(20) Utah (5-1) (28) 18
(21) South Carolina (5-2) (14) 24
(22) Richmond (6-0) (27) NR
(23) Ohio St (5-2) (12) 19
(24) Texas Tech (5-2) NR NR
(25) Penn St (6-1) (30) 13
(26) Kansas (5-1) (19) 25
(27) Navy (5-2) NR NR
(28) Tulsa (4-2) (26) NR
(29) Oklahoma St. (5-1) NR 15
(30) West Virginia (5-1) NR 23
(31) Troy* (4-2) NR NR
(32) Virginia* (3-3) NR NR

Most incorrect BCS Ranks or non-ranks: Idaho (under ranked by 20+), Central Michigan (15+), Richmond (10+), BYU (11), Penn St. (Over ranked by 12), Oklahoma St. (Over ranked by 14), Wisconsin (Over ranked by 11+), Arizona (Over ranked by 10+)

UW at the Horseshoe

Did anyone else see that UW is a SIXTEEN POINT underdog?!?!?!? Really!?!?!? I'm not saying Bucky will win, but there is no fucking way they get blown out by more than two touchdowns. If gambling were legal, or I was in Vegas, I would bet heavily on UW. Also, UW is ranked #12 and Ohio St. is #14 in case you missed the Top 32 this week.

Road to The Get Together: Top 32 Week 1

Not only am I ridding the world of the BCS, but I'm ridding the world of the completely random "Top 25". Why was 25 the settled on number? I'm going with 32 because that is how many teams will earn the right to play for the true championship of college football. As always, this is totally scientific, and not at all based on watching the games, or if I think a team would beat another team. It is completely based on the following question: "What has a team done this year?" Meaning: who have they beat, where have they beat them. No preseason rankings. No teams getting a head start to the tournament by having a lot of talent. No passes for beating cupcakes. No teams being ranked in the top 15 despite having a losing record (Really?) No getting ranked despite not playing at all. Obviously, this will fluctuate greatly in the first few weeks, but generally settle down near the end. Last year it accurately predicted the top 2.

Rank Team Record Actual Rank

1)Alabama 1-0 (4)
2)BYU 1 -0 (9)
3)Miami 1-0 (20)
4)Oklahoma St. 1-0 (5)
5)Ole Miss 1-0 (6)
6)LSU 1-0 (11)
7)Boise St 1-0 (12)
8)Cincinnati 1-0 (23)
9)Missouri 1-0 (25)
10)Baylor 1-0 (NR)
11)Colorado St. 1-0 (NR)
12)Tulsa 1-0 (NR)
13)Minnesota 1-0 (NR)
14)South Carolina 1-0 (NR)
15)Kentucky 1-0 (NR)
16)Stanford 1-0 (NR)
17)Uconn 1-0 (NR)
18)Richmond 1-0 (NR)
19)William & Mary 1-0 (NR)
20)Villanova 1-0 (NR)
21)Buffalo 1-0 (NR)
22)Army 1-0 (NR)
23)North Texas 1-0 (NR)
24)Idaho 1-0 (NR)
25)Texas 1-0 (2)
26)USC 1-0 (3)
27)Penn St 1-0 (7)
28)Ohio St 1-0 (8)
29)Cal 1-0 (10)
30)Utah 1-0 (17)
31)Notre Dame 1-0 (18)
32)Nebraska 1-0 (22)

For the Record

Not much time to talk since I'm headed out to Packers/Texans in about two minutes, but I just wanted to state that if the BCS decides Oklahoma v. Florida, I agree with it. That being said, the BCS is fucking bullshit and the brackets will be revealed at some point in the next few days.