If I Were a Sports Talk Radio Host...

I would spend 4 hours talking about Torii Hunter. I would talk about Torii Hunter because he said (amongst other, really, really stupid things) that dark skinned Latinos are "impostor African-Americans" and that there are more Latinos than African Americans in the MLB because they will work for a "bag of chips".

To be fair, I can understand how someone can get caught up in the moment and say something stupid that gets printed, either out of context or not, and might not actually mean what they said. But to follow it up later by saying (and I'm paraphrasing) "It was a poor choice of words. I didn't mean to offend anyone. But I meant what I said, and I'm more upset that everyone got offended because it is true."

I'm not really here to argue whether what he said is true or not, or whether I agree with his sentiment. Whether the racism of the American baseball fan has caused them to assume that anyone that isn't white is black, and to assume that there isn't a problem of getting young African Amercians to embrace the game instead of basketball or football (which is what I think Torii meant).

It was just a brazenly stupid thing to say in the politically correct world we live in. One thing that I am interested in is what is going to happen to Mr. Hunter. Because this seems at least somewhat similar, at least in a racial context and on a stupidity level, of what John Rocker said to SI in the late 90's. And he was pretty much blackballed from the league within a year (it didn't help that he got hurt and then couldn't throw a strike). I firmly beleive that nothing will happen to Torii because I think there are a lot of pepole that will excuse unintentional (or not) racism from a person of color, but will not excuse it from a white person. Perhaps because many non-white people have been victims of overt racism themselves. I'm not sure. I'm also not sure why a minority player would attack other minority players. I found that strange. Maybe he thought he would get away with it?

Lastly, Torii somehow found a way to make me like him less, and I didn't think it was possible. First, he played for the Twins. Then, he would dive for routine fly balls in center field for no reason. Then, he complained about Prince Fielder's "atom bomb" celebration, and untucking his shirt like he was some sort of authority on the matter. And now this.

Stay tuned. I hope Ozzie Guillen has something to say about it, because Ozzie Guillen is the only person on the planet with less of a filter. (Ed. Note: If you read further down in the linked story, Ozzie didn't disappoint. Maybe Milton Bradley has something crazy to say? John Rocker?)

Gold Medal Juice

A few thoughts on the Olympics so far...

-My vote for the most entertaining winter Olympic sport has to be short track speed skating. It is fucking riveting. At any second, someone can randomly wipe out, taking a bunch of other dudes with him. And watching Apollo Ohno race is fascinating. It seems like he isn't even trying, and then will just pass everyone from the back when he feels like it.

-The women's downhill was awesome too. And it was awesome because three chicks fell in the most horrendous way possible. I am no doctor, but I'm not exactly sure how they didn't die. One of the women fell, was sliding face first at what looked like 50 mph, then hit a bump and went flying in the air about 20 feet, and smashed her head on the hill when she came down, before sliding lifelessly another 500 or so feet. It was unreal. For all the concern about concussions when football players bounce their head off the turf, I bet there are a shitload of downhill skiers that have a hard time dressing themselves when they are 30. I'm too lazy to find the crashes (and I'm sure NBC won't let anyone post them anyplace) but they are riveting and you should check them out.

In the end, Lindsey Vonn won. And she was fucking annoying as shit about it. They had her miked up or something afterwards and you could hear her making some awful noise that I can best describe as moaning, for like 10 minutes afterwards. I imagine it is the same noise you would make if you watched your dog get run over by an 18 wheeler. That, and she has a really, really annoying voice. And her husband (I think) and her were having some kind of intimate moment with the mic between them, and it was 1) awkward and 2) sort of fake and creepy. I hope I never converse with my wife that way. She has every right to be happy and emotional, I would just prefer to watch it on mute from now on.

-Shaun White is unfuckingbelievable. It is too bad there aren't like 10 different half pipe snowboarding events, because he would win 10 gold medals. The event was like watching Michael Jordan play basketball against high schoolers. I don't understand the tricks or snowboarding stuff at all, but it was so blatantly obvious that he was better than everyone else it was insane. And he is both entertaining and seems like a genuinely cool guy.

-Finally, America will never be truly equal until it is no longer bizarre or unusual to see a black speed skater, figure skater or swimmer. Or a white basketball player. Shani Davis is good.

Color Blind

I'm going to start out by saying two things. 1) This could potentially be a bad idea to write about. 2) I don't think this makes me racist, and I'm going to go ahead and assume that more than 50% of the 4 people that read this blog have thought these two exact things.

Last night, I was watching the #19 St. Mary's-#13 Gonzaga game (until I fell asleep at halftime). I swear that I've seen St. Mary's play at least 3 times in the past two years, and was pretty sure I knew what Australian sophomore PG Patty Mills looked like. I guess I hadn't paid that much attention, because last night I realized that he wasn't white. I guess I must have just assumed he was white for various reasons. 1) He's Aussie, 2) His name is Patty Mills, 3) He plays for St. Mary's, 4) He is a three point gunner, 5) I guess I've never seen a picture of him. Either way, I was surprised to find this out. This is like the reverse of Bill Simmons's "Reggie Cleveland All-Stars".

If you hadn't seen the game between #2 Duke and #13 Wake Forest on Wednesday night, and I told you that a guy that hailed from Cheyenne, Wyoming hit the game winning shot, your brain would've almost automatically assumed the same thing I thought about Patty Mills. Instead of the name/school/position/nationality assuming skin color, it was his home town. This isn't to single out Wyoming in particular. It could've been Montana, Idaho, North Dakota, South Dakota, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont or Green Bay, Wisconsin and I would've guessed the same thing.

I'm not sure of my point other than it is interesting what one's brain imagines a person looks like based on stereotypes.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Does anyone REALLY fucking believe that fucking Italian citizens can't tell the fucking difference between Pizza Hut Lasagna and real Italian Lasagna? Fucking fuck. I absolutely refuse to ever think about eating that shit based on principal. I guess real Italian pasta is served out of a fucking tin foil pan. I GUESS I can buy that some dipshit New Yorker's could concievably believe it, although definitely not people that have been to a fancy Italian restaurant. Someone that lives in Green Bay could think that, because alot of people here feel that Olive Garden is the standard against which all Italian food should be judged. I'm going to go out on a limb though, and say that Pizza Hut falls somewhere between Chef Boyardee and Olive Garden. I just don't get it. The claims are ludicrous. Now they are claiming people can't tell the difference between their greasy ass delivery pizza and gourmet Italian pizza, which is miles beyond stupid. The commercials that Pizza Hut is throwing onto the American public are somewhere in the range of diet pill commercials in terms of believability. I bet Italians would be even more pissed that Pizza Hut gathered a bunch of people to pretend they couldn't tell the difference between fake pasta and real shit. I don't know why this pisses me off so much.