So Bear and T.J. both kept 2 WRs and a RB. One of the WR names is Sidney Rice (not related to Jerry Rice). Good luck when He Who Shall Not Be Named obviously retires. Also, Bear left two time MVP Tom Brady, LeSean McCoy and Brandon Marshall unprotected (fuck his team was good).
The draft rolls on.
Showing posts with label chillyball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chillyball. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Can't Blame The Kid
I would drink too if I was Chilly's kid. And I would want to take a whole bunch of Viqueens fans with me, since they are universally terrible human beings and it is well known that they kill baby seals.
It is a little unclear whether the drinking/murder-suicide attempt (definition of DUI) was the result of: a) being Chilly's kid; b) Chilly's beard; c) Chilly cheating on his mom with He Who Shall Not Be Named. To be continued (or not).
It is a little unclear whether the drinking/murder-suicide attempt (definition of DUI) was the result of: a) being Chilly's kid; b) Chilly's beard; c) Chilly cheating on his mom with He Who Shall Not Be Named. To be continued (or not).
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Mrs. Chilly
This is reason #1,234,543 why Kissing Suzy Kolber probably has about a million more hits a month than we do. Or ever will.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Viqueen Fans Suck
I mean seriously. Why are you even in the league anymore? I can't wait until we play the L.A. Vikings twice a year. You don't deserve a team. Also, enjoy those jerseys that will be obsolete next year. You are an embarrassment.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Am I Guilty?
I have to confess that I turned out to be entertained by Texans v. Viqueens last night. But it wasn't just your average exhibition game football tuneup.
For instance, Sunday night, I tuned in for the Bears v. Broncos for 20 minutes or so to check out how the Bears looked, etc., but I didn't really give a shit about any of it. I just like watching any football at this point, so it was nice for a few minutes, until the paint drying on the wall caught my attention.
But last night was different. I had zero intention of watching, as it still bugs the shit out of me to see Him in a purple jersey. It ended up sort of accidentally being on, because ESPN is generally the default station for me (regrettably there are no better options yet). And I found myself yelling at the TV as if the Texans were the Packers. My hatred is so strong (and my wife's too I guess) that I was actively rooting for something bad to happen to Him. And not just in the "I always root for something bad to happen to the Bears, Viqueens and Lions" kind of way. This was visceral and pure.
Last year, I couldn't handle watching Him because a) the Jets sucked, b) I had no bad feelings towards them, c) what happened with them didn't affect GB and d) I was bitter about how the local media handled carrying the games, and I hated Him so fucking much. So if forced, I would watch, and hope He fell on his face, but in the end other than being slightly annoyed when he didn't, it didn't really affect my life. This year, none of those things are true. What happens with Him directly affects the Packers. So there is even MORE reason to cheer hard for my second favorite team (whomever is playing the Viqueens).
Regarding last night, I gotta say, Jon Gruden is fucking annoying. He fucking LOVES him some He Who Shall Not Be Named. The broadcast was difficult to watch because he was getting ALL the credit for throwing a pass three yards behind the line of scrimmage, and then having the receiver break 6 tackles for a 12 yard gain. As if Treaveiaous couldn't have done the same thing.
His "touchdown pass" was a fucking designed screen play, that resulted in a score because of poor defense and a nice run by Taylor. If anything, Chilly deserves credit (shudder) for calling the play. At one point Gruden was heaping praise of Him for "making the correct read" and "putting the receiver in a position to make the play" when He threw a pass 10 yards over a receivers head, while the receiver was double covered. Well, if Sidney Rice turned into fucking Carl Lewis and somehow was able to run a 3.7-40, then he might have been in a position to make a play. Otherwise, he overthrew a pass. Which isn't the worst thing in the world, but certainly not praiseworthy. He completed ONE pass that traveled over 11 yards last night. Travearious could have easily done the same thing. He played a solid game, but he was certainly no A-Rodg. That and the Texans defense was awful. I'm not worried.
Lastly, everyone was pretty fucking proud of that asshole nearly ending the career of the Texans d-back on that illegal chop block. It was all a big joke (to anyone whose knees were not illegally taken out). He is seriously a moron for even attempting to make that block.
And how many "injuries" is he going to make up as the year goes on? We are already on number two (cracked rib) and the regular season hasn't started yet. (Sports Bottle's) god forbid he take responsibility for his inevitable 4 INT performance at some point this year.
Oh, and I'm sorry I made the Queens money by watching last night.
For instance, Sunday night, I tuned in for the Bears v. Broncos for 20 minutes or so to check out how the Bears looked, etc., but I didn't really give a shit about any of it. I just like watching any football at this point, so it was nice for a few minutes, until the paint drying on the wall caught my attention.
But last night was different. I had zero intention of watching, as it still bugs the shit out of me to see Him in a purple jersey. It ended up sort of accidentally being on, because ESPN is generally the default station for me (regrettably there are no better options yet). And I found myself yelling at the TV as if the Texans were the Packers. My hatred is so strong (and my wife's too I guess) that I was actively rooting for something bad to happen to Him. And not just in the "I always root for something bad to happen to the Bears, Viqueens and Lions" kind of way. This was visceral and pure.
Last year, I couldn't handle watching Him because a) the Jets sucked, b) I had no bad feelings towards them, c) what happened with them didn't affect GB and d) I was bitter about how the local media handled carrying the games, and I hated Him so fucking much. So if forced, I would watch, and hope He fell on his face, but in the end other than being slightly annoyed when he didn't, it didn't really affect my life. This year, none of those things are true. What happens with Him directly affects the Packers. So there is even MORE reason to cheer hard for my second favorite team (whomever is playing the Viqueens).
Regarding last night, I gotta say, Jon Gruden is fucking annoying. He fucking LOVES him some He Who Shall Not Be Named. The broadcast was difficult to watch because he was getting ALL the credit for throwing a pass three yards behind the line of scrimmage, and then having the receiver break 6 tackles for a 12 yard gain. As if Treaveiaous couldn't have done the same thing.
His "touchdown pass" was a fucking designed screen play, that resulted in a score because of poor defense and a nice run by Taylor. If anything, Chilly deserves credit (shudder) for calling the play. At one point Gruden was heaping praise of Him for "making the correct read" and "putting the receiver in a position to make the play" when He threw a pass 10 yards over a receivers head, while the receiver was double covered. Well, if Sidney Rice turned into fucking Carl Lewis and somehow was able to run a 3.7-40, then he might have been in a position to make a play. Otherwise, he overthrew a pass. Which isn't the worst thing in the world, but certainly not praiseworthy. He completed ONE pass that traveled over 11 yards last night. Travearious could have easily done the same thing. He played a solid game, but he was certainly no A-Rodg. That and the Texans defense was awful. I'm not worried.
Lastly, everyone was pretty fucking proud of that asshole nearly ending the career of the Texans d-back on that illegal chop block. It was all a big joke (to anyone whose knees were not illegally taken out). He is seriously a moron for even attempting to make that block.
And how many "injuries" is he going to make up as the year goes on? We are already on number two (cracked rib) and the regular season hasn't started yet. (Sports Bottle's) god forbid he take responsibility for his inevitable 4 INT performance at some point this year.
Oh, and I'm sorry I made the Queens money by watching last night.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Let's Rationalize
Now that my blind fury has passed, and I was able to avoid most of whatever bullshit was coming out of that lying fucks' mouth. I though I would take a deep breath, and discuss the actual ramifications for your 2010 NFC North Division Champion Green Bay Packers.
I realize that a rational argument could also be made for the opposite of this, or that tomorrow he will cry and change his mind again, but I only have the mental capacity for this line of positive thinking.
This signing is going to fuck our friends to the west in the following ways:
1) Chilly isn't smart enough to utilize whatever is left in His tank, and obviously doesn't have the balls to stand up against Him, meaning He is going to do whatever the fuck he wants. Which is throw it all over the fucking place. The strength of the team is A-Peter, and Chilly was too dumb not to give him the ball 400 times last year. Imagine what he'll do now. Does anyone remember the Ray Rhodes era? How about the Mike Sherman era? Remember how well it went when we had a coach that didn't stand up to him? Anyone remember 2005 when Darrell Bevell was his QB Coach and he threw 29 interceptions in a 4-12 season?
2) It is going to take 5 to 10 carries per game away from A-Peter, which is fantastic for Queen opponents. This is regardless of what play is called, because you know that there will be a shitload of run to pass audibles.
3) Whatever they may gain in total yardage due to more passing, they will lose in more turnovers, and less third down conversions on a whole. The rationale: A-Peter is a virtual guarantee to get you 3 to 5 yards on every carry. While he does fumble, the chances of a running back fumbling are far less than a QB throwing a pick on third down. Also, the chances of a completion for a first down regardless of yardage is probably around 50 or 60%, which makes the chances of getting nothing 40 to 50%. The chances of a first down run on 3rd and 5 or less are probably a little higher, and the chances of getting nothing are lower. Of course, some of the passes will go to A-Peter, but ask Ryan Grant how many times he was hung out to dry on a last second flip pass, only to turn around and get decleated by a linebacker.
4) They still have zero WRs. Donald Driver, on the downside of his career, would still be the number one in Queenland.
5) The locker room is going to be destroyed.
6) Seriously, Chilly is an idiot.
7) I think you can pencil in He for 20 to 25 TD, and 15 to 20 INT. Traveiouereueos and Sage would've given you 15 to 20 TD and 10 to 15 picks. And an extra 150 touches for A-Peter, arguably the best player in the league.
And if all of the above doesn't come true, well, then I'm going to start filling bags of urine right now, in the hopes of giving one to each and every fan at Lambeau on November 1, to do what they please.
I realize that a rational argument could also be made for the opposite of this, or that tomorrow he will cry and change his mind again, but I only have the mental capacity for this line of positive thinking.
This signing is going to fuck our friends to the west in the following ways:
1) Chilly isn't smart enough to utilize whatever is left in His tank, and obviously doesn't have the balls to stand up against Him, meaning He is going to do whatever the fuck he wants. Which is throw it all over the fucking place. The strength of the team is A-Peter, and Chilly was too dumb not to give him the ball 400 times last year. Imagine what he'll do now. Does anyone remember the Ray Rhodes era? How about the Mike Sherman era? Remember how well it went when we had a coach that didn't stand up to him? Anyone remember 2005 when Darrell Bevell was his QB Coach and he threw 29 interceptions in a 4-12 season?
2) It is going to take 5 to 10 carries per game away from A-Peter, which is fantastic for Queen opponents. This is regardless of what play is called, because you know that there will be a shitload of run to pass audibles.
3) Whatever they may gain in total yardage due to more passing, they will lose in more turnovers, and less third down conversions on a whole. The rationale: A-Peter is a virtual guarantee to get you 3 to 5 yards on every carry. While he does fumble, the chances of a running back fumbling are far less than a QB throwing a pick on third down. Also, the chances of a completion for a first down regardless of yardage is probably around 50 or 60%, which makes the chances of getting nothing 40 to 50%. The chances of a first down run on 3rd and 5 or less are probably a little higher, and the chances of getting nothing are lower. Of course, some of the passes will go to A-Peter, but ask Ryan Grant how many times he was hung out to dry on a last second flip pass, only to turn around and get decleated by a linebacker.
4) They still have zero WRs. Donald Driver, on the downside of his career, would still be the number one in Queenland.
5) The locker room is going to be destroyed.
6) Seriously, Chilly is an idiot.
7) I think you can pencil in He for 20 to 25 TD, and 15 to 20 INT. Traveiouereueos and Sage would've given you 15 to 20 TD and 10 to 15 picks. And an extra 150 touches for A-Peter, arguably the best player in the league.
And if all of the above doesn't come true, well, then I'm going to start filling bags of urine right now, in the hopes of giving one to each and every fan at Lambeau on November 1, to do what they please.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
The Saga Continues?
The following are a list of reasons why He Who Shall Not Be Named decided to stay retired:
1) Couldn't go through 16 games due to his shoulder.
2) Hated practice and training camp.
3) Was allergic to taintsucking Viqueen fans.
4) Was afraid of dudes that look like Mr. McGoo.
5) Was afraid of being raped by Jared Allen.
6) Was afraid that with all the restaurant choices that existed in the Twin Cities area (see Ryan Longwell), he would get lost and end up back on the Vicodin.
7) Was afraid of albinos. (see Darrell Bevell).
8) Didn't want to tarnish his Packer legacy.
9) Had a torrid three way with McCarthy and Thompson that resolved all of their differences.
10) Wanted to cash in on that marketing deal with the Pack.
11) Was secretly trying to undermine the Viqueens all along at the direction of the evil Ted Thompson as payback for the tampering last season.
12) Missed his family.
13) Loved his tractors. Alot. Like in a not normal way.
Reasons why he will come back in three weeks:
1) Got jealous of another quarterback, any quarterback, throwing a TD pass. I mean like he is driving by a Pop Warner field.
2) Tired of not leading SportsCenter every day.
3) Misses Rachel Nichols living in his rose bushes.
4) Gets tired of cutting the grass every motherfucking day.
5) Deanna wants ANOTHER $10,000 handbag.
6) Deanna wants a $50,000 watch.
7) Deanna wants a $200,000 ring
8) Deanna wants a $150,000 car
9) Deanna wants a $1.2 million dollar yacht
10) Deanna wants a new beach house
11) The kids need shoes
12) Just a good 'ol boy who likes to compete.
13) Bus Cook needs money.
14) Scott Favre needs money.
15) Bonita Favre needs money.
16) Didn't mean he was going to stay retired FOREVER. Never actually said that. Just meant yesterday he was staying retired. Boy, the media sure likes to infer things!
I've thought about this whole sordid tale. If he really did stay retired, I would be allowed to say his name sometime around next year's Super Bowl, about February 1, 2011. His number could be retired in 2014, no earlier. Assuming he doesn't come back. Now I will mention him only when he either inevitably decides to come back, or when discussing how fucking stupid, gullible and sad Viqueen fans are.
1) Couldn't go through 16 games due to his shoulder.
2) Hated practice and training camp.
3) Was allergic to taintsucking Viqueen fans.
4) Was afraid of dudes that look like Mr. McGoo.
5) Was afraid of being raped by Jared Allen.
6) Was afraid that with all the restaurant choices that existed in the Twin Cities area (see Ryan Longwell), he would get lost and end up back on the Vicodin.
7) Was afraid of albinos. (see Darrell Bevell).
8) Didn't want to tarnish his Packer legacy.
9) Had a torrid three way with McCarthy and Thompson that resolved all of their differences.
10) Wanted to cash in on that marketing deal with the Pack.
11) Was secretly trying to undermine the Viqueens all along at the direction of the evil Ted Thompson as payback for the tampering last season.
12) Missed his family.
13) Loved his tractors. Alot. Like in a not normal way.
Reasons why he will come back in three weeks:
1) Got jealous of another quarterback, any quarterback, throwing a TD pass. I mean like he is driving by a Pop Warner field.
2) Tired of not leading SportsCenter every day.
3) Misses Rachel Nichols living in his rose bushes.
4) Gets tired of cutting the grass every motherfucking day.
5) Deanna wants ANOTHER $10,000 handbag.
6) Deanna wants a $50,000 watch.
7) Deanna wants a $200,000 ring
8) Deanna wants a $150,000 car
9) Deanna wants a $1.2 million dollar yacht
10) Deanna wants a new beach house
11) The kids need shoes
12) Just a good 'ol boy who likes to compete.
13) Bus Cook needs money.
14) Scott Favre needs money.
15) Bonita Favre needs money.
16) Didn't mean he was going to stay retired FOREVER. Never actually said that. Just meant yesterday he was staying retired. Boy, the media sure likes to infer things!
I've thought about this whole sordid tale. If he really did stay retired, I would be allowed to say his name sometime around next year's Super Bowl, about February 1, 2011. His number could be retired in 2014, no earlier. Assuming he doesn't come back. Now I will mention him only when he either inevitably decides to come back, or when discussing how fucking stupid, gullible and sad Viqueen fans are.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
OMG Brett Favre!
Brett has broken the hearts of hundreds of thousands of Wisconsinites by choosing to... remain retired and not join the Minnesota Vikings.
What a disappointment, now what the fuck am I gonna talk about all season? Oh right, football and the Green Bay mother fucking Packers. Who, regardless of a 57 year old quarterback giving up 10 picks to us in a year or not, will still dominate the shit out of the Queens and probably have homefield wrapped up by week 13 this year. Suck on it.
UPDATE: Oh and I forgot to add, there's no way in hell he doesn't end up in purple a week after this, so I would like to hold a press conference to retract my previous statement and ecstatically rejoice the signing of Brett Favre by the Queens.
What a disappointment, now what the fuck am I gonna talk about all season? Oh right, football and the Green Bay mother fucking Packers. Who, regardless of a 57 year old quarterback giving up 10 picks to us in a year or not, will still dominate the shit out of the Queens and probably have homefield wrapped up by week 13 this year. Suck on it.
UPDATE: Oh and I forgot to add, there's no way in hell he doesn't end up in purple a week after this, so I would like to hold a press conference to retract my previous statement and ecstatically rejoice the signing of Brett Favre by the Queens.
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