If They Only Knew

I had a really funny thought as I was pulling into my parking stall at work today. What if for some reason, one of my bosses decided to go into my coat pocket and pull out my iPod? And they looked at the screen and it said "Thug Love"--Bone Thugs feat. 2Pac--Art of War. (Sound of shotgun cocking). What kind of reaction would that garner? I have a feeling they would either look at my neon whiteness and laugh. Or possibly realize that I don't "fit in" and make up some bullshit economic excuse to can me. Or, more likely, cower in fear around me and shield their daughters.

As an aside to an aside, I watched "Archer" on FX last night. I saw two episodes. It was sort of funny. Not laugh out loud mostly, but I would give it another chance. For those who aren't aware it is another adult cartoon, containing partial cartoon nudity and crude language. The story line revolves around the characters being spies at a MI-6-type agency. As an example of a story line, two of the male spies were fighting in the locker room and their penises touched (not in "camera" view.) and there were all sorts of gay jokes. Since Sports Bottles whole life is one big gay joke, he would like it. My wife will be pretty happy if it ends up making the DVR list along with South Park and Family Guy. I give it a 3 out of 5, but I would probably watch it if I was bored and stumbled across it again.

Stream of Consciousness

Soda Review: Diet Mountain Dew Ultra Violet.

I started drinking diet soda when I went on my diet awhile back. I still don't love diet soda, but it has caffeine, so I get over it. However, Diet Mountain Dew Ultra Violet is made of some crack-like substance that makes it taste fucking fantastic. My office randomly bought a 12-pack (employee benefits! It totally makes up for making half of what I'm worth in the open (non-recessed) market!). As a bonus, if you pour it in a glass it looks like you are drinking "Sizzurp" or "Purple Drank". (one of the more in-depth Wikipedia entries ever, and since it is on Wikipedia, it has to be true!) Keep Johnny Jolly clear! In fact, if I was in my younger days, and Purple Drank had been invented, I would have dumped out the Ultra Violet, replaced it with Purple Drank, and went to a school dance!

In conclusion, this shit is great, and will be taken off the market because I'm the only one that ever consumed it.