Super Bowl Week: Monday

I'm not going to lie. I doubt I will post every day this week. But here is what I have thought about today:

-The NFL Network, starting today, is running ONE HUNDRED HOURS of LIVE coverage this week. I will probably watch a lot of it. Why not?

-People in Green Bay are now bitching that the Packers don't want to do their potential parade downtown because a) I guess the one in 1997 was a shitstorm and b) the downtown kinda sucks. So they are having one on the route from the airport to Lambeau, which is not any different in my mind. But someone has to complain about something, so some bitch called in the radio station and said they should just "change the name to the Ashwaubenon Packers, because the Packers don't care about the city of Green Bay." OK, first, Ashwaubenon basically fucking is Green Bay, so shut up. It isn't like they are having the parade in OshVegas or Milwaukee or something. If you didn't live here you would have no idea if you were in Green Bay or not, much like when you are in the Metrodome, you don't know if you are in Minneapolis, or hell. Second, did this person really say "they don't care about the city of Green Bay???" Why? Because the Packers single handedly bring in $18 million dollars to the entire county every single time they play a game? Because Green Bay as the world knows it EXISTS almost entirely because of the Packers? This bitch loves her some He Who Shall Not Be Named. I know it.

-Some homeless couple won a free trip to the Super Bowl. First, if they are Packer fans, good on them. I'm jealous, but I'm not going to hate. Second, you are a fucking dumbass if you are homeless and don't sell these. I don't know your whole story, but seriously, if I was homeless for more than a day and someone handed me $10,000 (I've heard these tickets are the kind that are more like $25,000), you better fucking believe I'm selling them immediately. If they end up going, they are not real homeless people. I'm just saying. Third, I would like to know HOW they won. Especially since this thing was based on social media (Facebook and Twitter) and was a scavenger hunt of sorts. My semi-limited experience with homeless people would lead me to believe that laptops are scarce among the homeless community. I'm just saying.

-If you root for the Steelers, you also rooted for the Nazis. Fact.

Worthless, Uninformed and Biased Thoughts

-It is snowing like fucking crazy, and one of my asshole neighbors is outside shoveling it, as it piles up behind him.

-The Jays are currently down 11-3 to Witchita St., who isn't very good.

-Went to dinner last night and I see one of my neighbors, she says hi, then a dude who I think is her husband is walking behind her and I say hi, and he looks at me like I'm retarded. Turns out it was my neighbor's twin brother.

-I built a shelf in the basement today. I give it a week before it falls over.

-I wish I could hire Gus Johnson to announce my bedroom performance. How much do you think he charges for 30 seconds?

-Wow. The UCLA cheerleaders are hot.

-I bet Sports Bottle is being a bitch and is hung over and not drinking right now. Worm is sleeping. Spensley is blacked out drunk, and is either wandering around by himself, or is in jail.

-I signed Kobe as a free agent on NBA 2k9 to the Bucks.

-Kinda surprised Chucky got shitcanned in Tampa. The Glazer family better watch the fuck out. Chucky never dies!

-Clemson starts out 17-0 every year, then goes 2-13 the rest of the year and goes to the NIT.

TV REVIEWS:

-24: rad. The biggest problem I am having is with Jenine Garraffalo (and I'm quite sure I didn't spell it right, but I don't give a fuck). I can't take her seriously. She is a terrible actress. When is President David Palmer coming back from the dead? He is about the only one that hasn't. He is the biggest badass is TV presidential history.

-FNL: pretty good first episode. I was positive that Lila was a senior last year, but I guess 25 year old seniors are plausible. I guess it is also plausible that Buddy Garrity is trying to get a fucking HD jumbotron built at a high school field in bum-fuck Texas. Or that a high school freshman could possibly be better than a high school senior, who was last year's starter. Best line of the week: "You are a rebound guy from Jesus."

-The Office: great as usual. Line of the week: "Guys fight over me all the time. Usually it is over who gets to hold the camcorder."

BOOK REVIEW:

-"Men With Balls" by Drew Magery. Pretty funny book. Written as a handbook to prospective pro athletes. I would recommend it.

-I am starting to read "Downtown Owl" by Chuck Klosterman. This is his first fiction book. His other ones are spectacular.

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME PICKS:

Last Week: 1-3

Playoffs: 4-4

Season: 132-125-7

This Week: Ariz (+3 1/2), Pit (-6)

I Hate People

I just heard this and it made me want to vomit. I am of the belief that every asshole that pushed their way into the store should be charged with manslaughter. The fucking assholes that refused to leave when the other Wal-Mart employees told them that you have to leave the store because someone is fucking dead should get the chair. This is some of the most senseless shit I've heard in a long time. I don't want to hear a word about how fucked the economy is either, because if 2,000 fucking people were willing to KILL someone to get into a fucking shitty Wal-Mart, we've got a ways to go before there is a problem. I am embarrassed to be an American. I was having a fine day, and now it is ruined.

Side Note: Wal-Mart will do nothing to help this poor dude's family, because they are a horrible, horrible, monstrosity that caters to and takes advantage of idiots that don't know better.

Worhless, Uninformed Top 25, Picks, Stuffing

Rank(BCS)Record (Last Week)

-New this week: Teams in bold have clinched an automatic bid to Juice's Dream D-I NCAA Football Get Together (JDDNFGT), presented by Cockring Emporium ("Any Cock'll Do!"), by winning their conference championships.


1(1) Alabama 11-0(1)
2(6) Utah 12-0(3)
3(2) Texas 10-1(2)
4(9) Boise St. 11-0(5)
5(8) Penn St. 11-1(6)
6(15)Ball St. 11-0(8)
7(3) Oklahoma 10-1(12)
8(7) Texas Tech 10-1(4)
9(4) Florida 10-1(7)
10(10)Ohio St. 10-2(10)
11(14)TCU 10-2(13)
12(5) USC 9-1(9)
13(11)Georgia 9-2(11)
14(16)Cincinnati 9-2(17)
15(18)BYU 10-2(14)
16(12)Oklahoma St. 9-2(15)
17(13) Missouri 9-2(16)
18(17)Oregon St. 8-3(23)
19(NR)Western Michigan 9-2(19)
20(19)Michigan St. 9-3(18)
21(24)Northwestern 9-3(21)
22(NR)Tulsa 9-2(24)
23(NR)Central Michigan 8-3(20)
24(NR)Rice 8-3(NR)
25(21)Boston College 8-3(NR)



Dropped Out: LSU (22), Pitt (25)



Grossly Overrated: Florida (4), USC (5)



Grossly Underrated: Boise St.(9), Ball St.(15), Western Michigan (NR)



PICKS:

Last Week: 8-8
Season: 81-91-4

Ten (-11), Dal (-13), Phi (-3), Buf (-6.5), Bal (-7), Ind (-4.5), Car (+3), Mia (NL), NYG (-3.5), Atl (+4.5), Pit (+1), NYJ (-7.5), KC(+3), Min (-3), Hou (-3)

Thanksgiving today. Getting together with family generally sucks. Food will be good. The football will be terrible. And I gotta go to work at like 6 fucking 30 tomorrow, so this really isn't much of a day off. I hope A-Peter chokes on a turkey bone and dies today.

Packer Parties

So I'm heading off to a "Packer party" in about an hour. A "Packer party" is where a bunch of people go to someones house and watch a Packer game. No sex is involved. Usually a small amount of beer is consumed. Everyone typically runs out of the house as soon as the clock hits :00. (Unless it is a rare Saturday playoff game or something). I hate Packer parties generally. The only time these things are acceptable for me is if it is a preseason game, it is some type of holiday (i.e. Thanksgiving), or the Packers are like 2-12. The only redeeming quality that these parties tend to have is a shitload of food. I hate them because people like to invite me because they know I am a Packer fan, and feel that I will enjoy them. But these people don't have a true understanding of what a psycho freak I am. The only one that truly understands outside of a select few friends, is my wife. She has learned to tolerate my incoherent screams and throwing of objects. We have an understanding that I have Packer party veto power. I am allowed to reject the idea if I'm pretty sure that my emotions won't be able to be controlled. For instance, we were invited to at least 3 of them for the NFC championship game last year. I couldn't do it. I probably didn't sleep for the entire week before hand. I was showing signs of physical stress by Sunday (upset stomach, incessant leg tapping, etc.). It's a good thing I didn't go to any parties on that day. Not only would I have embarrassed my wife irreparably, I doubt very much I could have operated a motor vehicle safely. I distinctly remember when He threw his final back breaking interception as a Packer, jumping off the couch about three feet into the air, twisting, and landing with my knees on the ground and my face in the seat of the couch, all while letting out a primal scream. I'm guessing most can't comprehend what I went through, and I might have been divorced if I had done it in front of her family or something.

Today, this party in particular is at one of my sister-in law's houses. My wife's family acts like they enjoy watching the game with me because of how "into it" I get. The problem I'm beginning to have, is that we have three nieces and nephews that are under the age of 3. And all will be at the "party". They also have a large number of toys and shit that make alot of noise. I already can predict what will happen. The game will be on, when the kids aren't crying, they will be planted right in front of the fuckin non-HD TV, making shitloads of noise and be generally distracting. The kids' parents will be making it a point to make sure everyone sees how cute they are being. The volume on the TV will be far below the deafening level I usually keep it at in the privacy of my home. Basically, I will be viewing at about a 60% capacity. On top of that, I will get yelled at if I scream. Inevitably, it will be nap time at some point at a crucial fourth quarter moment, and I will get warned again to keep it down. I like my wife's family, but there are only about 10 people on earth I can watch a Packer-Viking game with, and none of them are on the list. Basically, today is going to suck, and if I complain I will get yelled at. Fuck.