UFL and Fancy Coffee

Accidentally came across a UFL game last night while flipping channels. These are the things that happen when you don't have shit to do and baseball takes an NBA style break between series. I'm not really sure what I was watching to be honest. First of all, the game was between something called the Las Vegas Locomotives (or "Locos" as they are known worldwide) and the Florida Tuskers. A few observations:

-The uniforms are hideous. The Locos wore silver colored jerseys and helmets, with a teal/babyblue pant. The Tuskers had the same weird blue colored jerseys and pants, with a neon green stripe for good measure.

-The football itself wasn't horrible. If by horrible you don't mean playing in front of 10,000-ish people in a 50,000 seat stadium, with music blaring between every play, hideous uniforms by both the player and the refs (a red shirt and black pants. I thought they were on field coaches at first). But seriously though, it was football.

-At some point, if they make any money at all, which is doubtful, I could see it being some type of minor league to the NFL.

-I would never be able to get into it until there is either a team in Wisconsin or a Packers affiliate.

-On the Roster for the Locos: J.P. Losman, Marcel Shipp, Teddy Lehman. For the Tuskers: Brooks Bollinger, Tatum Bell, Michael Pittman, Todd Saurbrun. It was seriously like picking up Madden '04.

OTHER STUFF

Is this Russia? Did we move to Russia and I didn't realize it? I'm sitting here drinking a Coke Zero. Because I was too tired when I got up to go to work this morning to make coffee, I decided I would go buy a $3 coffee at one of the two coffee shops on my direct route to work. Except that at 5:45 a.m. neither of them was fucking open. I find two things wrong with this picture. 1) It is fucking coffee, and it is usually consumed in the fucking morning. Close at fucking noon if you want, but be open when people with jobs are fucking going to work. 2) Generally, people who are willing spend $3 on a coffee, can also afford it, and also have jobs. And perhaps those people need to leave their homes before 6 a.m. This is just poor business, and also communist. Its not like I was up at 3 a.m. looking for a fucking Starbucks. A lot of people have to be to work by 6:30. But I guess those people aren't allowed to drink coffee.

Happy Maddenoliday!!

After work today, I am returning from a one year College Football hiatus to stop over at the local Best Buy in my suit and tie to pick up Madden '10. I could NOT be more excited. Every five years or so, I do something crazy like last year and buy College Football instead. Inevitably, I regret that decision because Madden is the best game to come out every single year some how. I fully look forward to playing until about midnight tonight while my wife runs around cleaning the house for weekend guests.

I don't know about anyone else, but whenever I buy a video game, I feel embarrassed. A lot like I would feel if I was buying porn or something. I feel the same way buying a fantasy football magazine. I have no clue why. I bet if we took a poll of 28 year old males, well over 50% did at least one of the two. Yet, I always feel like the 19 year old working at Best Buy thinks I'm some kind of asshole that lives in his parent's basement. I don't know why I care. At the end of the day, I could avoid the "embarrassment" by ordering it online or something. But quite frankly, I'm not willing to wait an extra two days to get the game.

Every time I get the game, I sit down and immediately start a franchise with the Packers, and play every game the first season. I'll let you know how it goes. By the way, the "Maddenoliday" ads from a few years back were ingenious.

Anyways, the one downside to this whole experience is that I have a job and I have to wait until 5 to get it (my brother in I actually waited at midnight with the unwashed masses once).

Another big downside is that those assholes at EA decided to be selfish pricks and put the game out the night of the Steelers-Cardinals rematch, when coincidentally, Fitty and Polamalu were on the cover so they could run ads during the whole game. This was the biggest non-coincidence EVER. But what makes it a downside is that for the first time I can ever remember, the game is coming out on a Friday instead of a Tuesday. Leaving me without those three weekdays of non-weekend type interruptions. This all coupled with the fact that EA waited until they found out what Packer preseason ticket I was going to be forced to buy (I am convinced of this) to release the game the day before. Knowing full well that I was going to be forced to get black out drunk the next day, and not have time to play the wonderful game.

Which brings me to this weekend. Richard is going to skip cutting the grass at the house he is obviously renting in Northeast Wisconsin, and heading to GB to watch the future stars of UFL play tomorrow night. Drinks may be had. Only good thing is that it was a Saturday night game, which makes drinking easier to do. Oh, and any time you can go to Lambeau, it is spectacular (even if $60 for a preseason ticket should be illegal). And I get to see Browns third string running back and The White Broncos fifth RB Jerome Harrison! Seriously though, my wife's semi-attractive, perpetually single, kind of bitchy friend is coming along. I remember when I was a kid and we had a dog, and I would push the dog into my brother to piss it off so it would bite my brother. I plan to do the same thing with Richard and wife's friend, except that it is going to involve booze and sex.

VICK

He signed with the Eagles. Let's throw a fucking big ass ESPN party. I'm already over it. Glad I'm not watching the Packer game on TV Saturday, because somehow, it would be preempted by coverage of Philly fans throwing bricks at him.