Showing posts with label degenerate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label degenerate. Show all posts

Sunday, February 6, 2011

My Half a Cent

I don't have a whole lot to say considering I need to get ready for work shortly. Yes, that's right, I need to work during the Super Bowl. Super Awesome.

I don't have good feelings about this game. It's really strange that no matter what the final score is, I won't be surprised. It could be a blowout either way. Or close either way.

I usually don't put a whole lot of stock into experience in games like this, but the Steelers have been here before. They've won it twice. And Ben Rapistberger has won a Super Bowl in the 4th quarter. 24-21 Steelers. But I did take the Pack at -3 and over 45.5. GO PACK GO! I'm sure it will be awesome on the radio. Totally.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Fake Pleasantries, Brewer Tickets and My Unbiased Biased Prediction(s)

I was assured, several times, by employees and returning guests alike, that "no worries mon", the Packer game will definitely be available at your resort in Jamaica. This provided me some comfort during a treacherous drive to Sandals Whitehouse along the southern coast of Jamaica a little over a week ago. As we winded through a narrow road for almost two horrifying hours, I was able to observe a little of native Jamaican life. It appears 3rd world, but for a 3rd world country sure were a lot of fat people sitting in front of their tiny shacks/huts. I'm not sure what that means. It's definitely 3rd world, but not, like, West Darfur 3rd world.

We arrived, me checking my watch every 15 seconds and asking where I could catch the Packer game that was starting very shortly. They'll be showing it in the games room, I was assured. Ok, well, hurry the fuck up and check us in. We got upgraded to a two room suite, sweet. Fully stocked mini bar, huge bed, amazing view of the sunset and ocean. I find out we have cable TV and am actually able to catch the Steelers/Ravens game. Soon after, I whip a Red Stripe out of the fridge and settle in for the Packer game.

Well, things didn't work out like I had planned. The FOX station that was available was apparently FOX from Slovenia or something. It's barely visible, no one speaks English and they definitely don't have the Packer/Falcon game on. So we quickly leave the room to find this "game room." We find it. No Packer game but we're told by some random dude that another random dude is Skype-ing the game in the main lobby. Bullshit. The main lobby is empty.

So, I'll cut out the part about me swearing and making racially unacceptable comments and tip my hat to Sandals. I had no way to follow the game unless I had internet access. I needed to follow the game. Internet access costs money. So I paid and watched updates on Yahoo. That is a true NFL experience right there.

Other than that, we had a great week. This resort was fantastic. Red Stripe isn't very good and doesn't get any better when you drink it non stop for a week, but it properly played it's roll. I avoided all the drinks that sound like kinky sex positions (i.e. dirty banana). Only one hangover was had. My pale Irish skin heroically took on the sun and the sun beat my ass. I also found out that every American loves when the natives say "mon." We all laugh and giggle like little children. After observing this for a couple days I investigated and found out the employees are told to kick the shit out of the word. I had/heard several conversations where an employee responded with "ya mon" or "no problem mon" when it made no sense. For example, I walked by two lifeguards (they all speak English) and said, "How you guys doing?" To which one responded "Ya mon." I felt like exploring this a little deeper with those two but felt it was probably useless. But we did blatantly ask one employee if they're told to say it much more than they normally would, or if they actually say it at all during their regular lives, but he would only smile and not answer us. Anyways, it's awesome when they say it, and I laugh and giggle every time.

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Anyone interested in getting in on a Brewer 20 pack of tickets? You are able to pick which games you want to go to. The Brewer ticket guy is pestering us like crazy because Mrs Sports Bottle bought a 9 pack last year and it appears to be completely unacceptable for her not to buy another ticket package this year. A possible stalking charge might be in this guy's future.

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As all our (2) loyal readers know, I have been heavily involved in sports betting for a little over a year now. By heavily, I mean the one or two dollars a day I spend. I'll let everyone know I'm up over $650 due to the $900 I won with that 12 team baseball parlay last summer.

I've become pretty damn good at guessing the spreads of NFL games. I'm almost always within a half point of guessing the spread and I at least know who the favorite will be. I was wrong about the Super Bowl. I guessed the Steelers would be favored by 2.5. Well, the Packers are favored by 2.5. I figured that would quickly make it's way towards a pick 'em game. But again I was wrong. As I sit here, Bodog has the Packers by 3. If I were a betting man I would take the Steelers. But I'm not, so I'll bet on the Packers. I actually have two predictions because I can't imagine a more evenly matched game. I feel either the Steelers will win convincingly or the Packers will win a close one. So I'll say 31-17 Steelers or 27-24 Packers. Over/under is 45, so I'll obviously take the over.

I hate being the favorites. The Steelers are now have just a little more incentive to win.

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Packer/Bears was an interesting experience. We actually flew into O'Hare as the game was starting. I was able to program my DVR from Jamaica to record the game. I told Mrs Bottle that we needed to avoid all TVs at the airport. We walked off the plane and kept tunnel vision all the way to baggage claim, only to find out they have a huge flat screen TV 6 inches from the baggage carousel with about 50 people watching (most wearing Bears jerseys). So I said fuck it and watched a large chunk of the 1st half while waiting for our bags. It was rather intimidating. There were several large black men watching the game. I spotted a Neal Anderson jersey. Not that I have anything against big black dudes, and I'm sure they're all sweethearts, but I'm definitely a white dude who would not be considered big. Needless to say, I acted completely uninterested when the Pack did something positive. People have been murdered for less. I missed the first TD, then watched a bunch of the game, and then missed the second TD, but accidentally heard about it on the radio in the shuttle to pick up our car. Once we got home, we watched the entire second half, minus all the commercials, which is fucking awesome.

A couple observations -

It has always been my opinion that a team should never, NEVER, rush only 3 guys. But that's what Dom Capers decides to do against a 3rd string QB???? The Bears got lucky early on with their playcalling when we blitzed and the random QB made a couple good passes. But then we tuck our tails between our legs and decide to rush only 3? This did not work. I could understand if it was effective, but it wasn't.

Urlacher is a punk. He whined like a fucking bitch after Peppers' personal foul call resulting from embedding his helmet in Rodgers' face. That call was a no-brainer. Then there was the pass interference call immediately following that play. Both calls were obvious but Urlacher had to be pulled away from the ref. Your team finally had the golden horseshoe pulled out of their ass. Fucking deal with it.

I can't imagine how pissed I would be if I were a Bears fan after that play call on 3rd and 2 with 50 seconds left. A sweep??? That was beautiful.

What was Nick Collins doing on that TD pass? He appeared to be going for the INT but even if Bennett doesn't catch the ball and Collins does, he's gonna be 6 feet out of bounds. Then Woodson completely gives up thinking Collins is gonna make the tackle. I have hated every safety we've had since LeRoy Butler left. They are all completely overrated (Darren Sharper). Our safeties have to lead the league in open field tackle situations where they don't lay a hand on the ballcarrier.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

It Was Gonna Happen At Some Point

The sports gambling is still in full swing, in case anyone wondered. I won $90 on the Blackhawks winning the Stanley Cup, a bet I placed in Vegas last July. NHL has possibly become my favorite sport. I either listened to, or watched, probably 70 Blackhawks games this year. Their radio play-by-play guy is fantastic.

Anyways, with baseball season in full swing I usually bet (and lose) on the Brewers every day. And then I make a large parlay bet, usually a 9, 10 or 11 teamer. The possible winnings are anywhere from $100 to $1200. Today I made an 11 team parlay. And I won $911. That's fucking right.

That's really all I wanted to say.

Girlfriend and I are heading to a Casino/Golf resort in Iowa tomorrow. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come for me at the blackjack table.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Def Con 3

I am in pure panic mode.

My sports betting funds have run out. I lazily placed some bets over the past month or two but wasn't into it very much anymore. But I'm rejuventated by March Madness and would like to blow about a hundred bucks over the next couple weeks. But those Nazis over at MasterCard have decided to decline all transactions related to gambling websites. So I'm freaking out. I am on the phone with these assholes as I speak. I have a credit limit of $27,000 and an account balance of $0.00. Seriously, float me a hundy.

So, I'm now off the phone. I called, gave all the required passwords and secret answers and they still informed me they will not approve the transaction. FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID BITCH. At least learn how to speak English correctly before you tell me to go screw myself! Does my call go directly to New Dehli or something?

I have one last ditch effort that will hopefully come through before the games start tomorrow morning.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Hole Gets Deeper

The original plan this weekend was to visit the old stomping ground, my alma mater, along with a few others who graced our wonderful university with their presence. Scheduling conflicts ensued and the trip was scrapped.

So, in my quest to justify drinking before noon, I had a brilliant idea. What are legitimate excuses to drink before noon?
  • Oktoberfest
  • Shit in My Eye
  • Snow Volleyball
  • Las Vegas
  • St Patty's Day
  • 12 bars of Christmas (not sure if Richard starts before noon, but it seems like a good tradition in which to do so)
  • College Baseball World Series (I did it once)

Schmock and I are adding another this Saturday. We are heading to Rockford, Illinois for OTB. What is OTB you ask? Off track betting. We're gonna sit at some large bowling alley/bar/restaurant and bet on horse races from all over the country. It's gonna be a Vegas sportsbook without the other sports, free drinks and Jeff Higgins. I do believe it's a brilliant idea.

The g/f and I invested in our future together the other day. We purchased a couple's membership to a local golf course. Golf anytime all week and unlimited range balls. I will be a single digit handicap by the end of the summer (probably not).

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

And It Only Gets Worse...

Quick update - I just bet on a horse race. Yeah, I'm not lying. I found a live stream on CBSSports.com from several different tracks around the country, but you can only watch for 30 minutes. After that you probably need to go to some other website and pay. My first attempt was a photo finish, which I lost at Louisiana Downs. I then moved to Philadelphia Park and quickly lost there too. $3 down. Enough of that (for now).

Monday, February 15, 2010

Afternoon Bottle

I need to get this out of the way right away, and I hate myself for it. I was in Miami Super Bowl weekend and I had a couple hours of free time on my hands. I happen to come across a "Jersey Shore" marathon on MTV and I also happen to catch the very first episode. The hook was set right away. I couldn't stop watching. My girlfriend rolls into the room and although she continuously rips on the show, she can't stop watching either. So, Juice, I apologize for ripping on you for watching that show. At first, none of the chicks are hot. After about 2 episodes two of them are getting really hot.

Juice, get your rips in now about my Tar Heels, because your enjoyment won't last long. Besides, this is what happens when you win a national title, which they did last year by the way. They lost 4 guys to the NBA, what would you expect? And now their best player is out for the year. Oh well.

Anyways, I did my best to end my sports gambling addiction, but to no avail. I left for Miami on February 6th. Just before I left I put the rest of my money on the line with some Super Bowl picks and a $25 NHL parlay. I won the bets and had $173 in my account when I got back. So the fun continues.

The reason for the Miami trip was because of a cruise we embarked on the day of the Super Bowl. All around a good time but I would much rather do the all-inclusive resort. I doubt I'll ever go on another cruise.

The trip could not have started off worse. Our flight out was at 5:45am. Our ride to the airport was picking us up at my place at 3:45am (I live about 20 minutes from the airport). At around 3 both my girlfriend and I were ready to leave so I tell her to give our ride (her brother) a call and tell him to pick us up now. She asks, "would you rather wait in your living room or wait at the airport?" I reply, "at the airport." She doesn't call him. To make a long story short, as we wait to board the lady at the counter announces the flight is overbooked and they need two people to give up their seats. Whoever volunteers will get compensation. If no one volunteers they will be forcing two people off the plane. No one volunteers. (You can see where this is heading). Anyways, we board the plane and take our seats. We're in one of the last rows and we see the ticket counter lady board the plane. She gives one more announcement. No one volunteers. She then begins walking towards the back of the plane. My girlfriend gets nervous. I'm thinking "no fucking way." She walks past our row (yes!), stops (oh crap), turns back towards us (motherfuck) and promptly boots us off the plane (fuck fuck FUCK). I felt like yelling "bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb b-bomb" like Stiller in Meet the Parents. That is a fucking walk of shame if I've ever seen one. I was beyond fucking irate. It all boiled down to us being the last people at the airport to check in. So, in hindsight, maybe we shouldn't have waited in my living room instead of the airport, but who's keeping track, right?

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Saturday Morning Live

I'm coming to you live from an office. An office deep inside a mountain-side bunker, somewhere in Northeast Wisconsin. Which, is fucking bullshit. At least I'm wearing a hat. For some reason, it only seems like I'm half working if I have jeans and a hat on. The goal is to get home by 1 for the UW-Indiana tip. It is a game that Bucky should win, at least on paper.

I want welcome those (maybe I should use the singular, "that guy") people here for the first time from the link on the JS Online "Fan Cave". You have to have been a follower or SportsBubble or some kind of nuclear physicist to actually get to the page to find our link, but it is a good page. Anyways, I hope you enjoy me writing, which I typically do much more when I'm not working on Saturdays. (And enjoy silence from the other four writers.) Oh, and O.J. was found not guilty by a jury of his peers.

I just realized that I'm pretty pumped for Olympic hockey. Olympic hockey is fantastic. I see the U.S. plays Tuesday afternoon, which means I can either try to DVR it, or I can watch it online and not work. Hmmmmm. (Can this be gambled on SportsBottle?)

I've seen the video of the luge guy over at Deadspin. It was gross. I probably shouldn't have clicked play. I'm not all worked up over the fact that they posted the video like some are, but I don't really want it up here due to the morbidity. If you don't want to watch it, don't. And shut up about the fact that the video is available to watch if you are so inclined. I hate people like that. (Can another luge death be gambled on SportsBottle?)

I READ A BOOK

After two months of blood, sweat and tears (maybe some other bodily fluids) I finally finished "The Book of Basketball" by Bill Simmons. If you like history/basketball/or the Sports Guy, I recommend it. Oh, and it helps if you can read and hold heavy objects simultaneously (700 pages!!!). If you can't do one of those things, the book probably isn't for you.

Next up on my reading list is Chuck Klosterman "Eating the Dinosaur", which is approximately 1,110 pages shorter.

IN VIDS NEWS

I think I've mastered College Hoops 2k8 to the point that it is getting boring. I'm on a 71 game winning streak with Creighton. I'm gunning for the record of 88 by UCLA. Probably time to get a new game. And yes, I play video games, and my wife lets me.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I Would Do the Avatar Chick

Before I begin let me ask Juice, and all those who comment, to please advise ahead of time if you are spoiling what's happening on "Lost." I, too, am a big fan of the show but am about a season behind and watch the show thanks to NetFlix. I skipped your whole first paragraph.

Just got back from watching "Avatar." Pretty good movie, not great. But watching it in 3D is fucking mint. I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it but think "Dances With Wolves" meets "Titanic" about 200 years from now. There are no surprises in this movie and I can't quite figure out how the critics used at Yahoo! gave this movie an "A". But, I will say this, I don't normally give a shit if I first see a movie in the theaters or at home (see "Dark Knight") but the 3D experience makes it worth the small fortune it costs to see it. (Note - the g/f thought it was great but admittedly is the type of person who gets convinced to buy something due to their commercials).

The sports betting is still ongoing but I'm running out of steam. I have about $150 remaining but I pretty much bet and don't know if I win or not until the next day.

Speaking of betting, I will be going back to Vegas again this year, probably around the time we were there a few months ago. So, ladies, start saving and get permission from your wives again. I also thought of a brilliant plan for 24 hour sports betting. I am a huge tennis fan, thus I am a huge Australian Open fan. Melbourne is about 17 hours ahead of our time in the US which means matches are ongoing when everyone is sleeping. Someday I will be in Vegas for this event and will be betting on tennis matches. When those are over the horse races will be close to starting. Perfect.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Gambling and Other Random Shit

Ok, Juice, you've inspired me to contribute.

I haven't updated my gambling addiction in awhile. I think I was up almost $100 the last time we spoke. I think I'm now down about $20 or so. I actually have to bust out a calculator to figure it out because Schmock and Jamie contributed $93 to the overall amount. I still strongly urge anyone (Juice, Twinkie) to give it a try. I am now an official NHL fan. I love it. Yahoo has at least one free game every night and I'm always watching (betting) on it. For the weekend I have the Saints -7, Colts -6.5, Vikings -2.5 and Chargers -7.5. I'm pretty confident given my picks from last week (I lost all 4 games). Keep in mind, it is just as difficult to lose all 4 than it is to win all 4.

Moving on....

I just did a full 2 weeks of normal work hours. By normal I mean getting up at 6am, at work by 7am and in bed by 10pm. It is fucking awful. How can you guys do it? I'm back to my "normal" hours on Sunday.

I just got upset reading Juice's post about snow volleyball. It is simply the best weekend of the year. It never fails. Even last year when we were too lazy to get in at the Alpine, it was still great. No naps, Richard. Richard and his cohorts were sleeping at about 7pm last year. Fucking pussy. The only excuse you can use this year is if you lay Juice's wife's friend....... AGAIN.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

It Was Only A Matter of Time

I'm like Jordan. I may go 1 for 25 in the first three quarters, but eventually I'm going on fire. Yesterday was my figurative 4th quarter. I calmly and coolly nailed an 8 team NHL parlay for a cool $191. It was inevitable. You can't keep me down for long. So before I begin a historic losing streak I would like to mention I am up $98.84 overall.

Have no fear, Badger fans, for I have placed a cool $5 on Michigan St tonight giving the Badgers 6.5 points, which pretty much ensures the Badgers will pull out an outright victory.

Sad news of the day. I have found out that my new job will keep me from attending my favorite annual event in the bluffs of La Crosse - snow volleyball. But to make up for it, the g/f and I are heading to Granite Pike Ski Resort this weekend for some fun on the hills. I haven't been downhill skiing in about 10 years. Sounds like a great idea.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Wagering Extravaganza

I'm up about $77 over the past couple days. On Christmas it was the NBA carrying me to a $23 overall win and yesterday it was mainly the NHL leading me to a $54 win. Going in to today I'm up about $33 this week.

Account balance - $113.60

I thought of an idea today to make my wagering interactive with our loyal readers (Bear and Juice). I think next Sunday I'm gonna be taking suggestions for the NFL games. We'll put together a large parlay and I'll be willing to mail a very small percentage of the possible winnings to those who participate.

A lot of action today. I have a couple large NFL parlays using the money line favorites. I also did a large parlay with all underdogs covering the spread (i.e. Seahawks +14 against the Pack). I took the Cowboys -7.5 tonight against the Redskins on Sunday Night Football. I have Clemson -6.5 in the Music City Bowl against Kentucky. And then of course I have my NHL parlay.

Moving on.....

If I wasn't a Packer fan I would think it's hilarious that Jaret Bush is an NFL player. TJ Houshmandoaonhaoiurezadeh just did a "double move" on Bush for a big pass play. There was no double move. Not even close. He just kinda ran slightly inside and then ran slightly to the outside and burned Bush. As the ball was in the air I already knew it was Bush playing D, and I use the phrase "playing D" loosely. I can already see it now. Our first playoff game. Crosby misses 7 field goals and Bush gets burned for 5 tds.

Why does no one ever bitch about the TV timeout in basketball? It's such an unnatural pause in a basketball game and can artificially ruin a team's momentum. There are 8 of them in a college basketball game. I just think it's strange and annoying.

My big Christmas gift this year was, pause........ wait for it ......... A VACUUM!!!!! That's right boys and girls, I've reached the age when it's acceptable to receive a vacuum as my big gift.

Not that I give a shit, but McCarthy just challenged the stupidest play. Deion Branch obviously had two feet in. That's just a waste of a timeout. I'd be more pissed if it was the 2nd half, but come on. Who's upstairs advising that dipshit to challenge in the first place?

Saturday, December 19, 2009

More Fun With Wagering

Twinkie redeemed himself after his terrible call yesterday about the FCS Championship, although the redemption is completely imagined. I accidentally bet on Wyoming tonight +10.5 when Twinkie actually told me to bet on Montana last night against Villanova. So, I'll still give him credit as Wyoming won a great game in OT and won me $4.54. Also, Twinkie continuously makes reference to our next Vegas trip. I will go on record right now and state Twinkie will not be going on another Vegas vacation...... ever. At least not with a bunch of guys again.

Saturday was a decent day. It started out slow as #8 Tennessee lost to USC. That knocked out two parlays right off the bat. I had UWGB by 9 pts. They won by 8, successfully knocking out my $500 parlay. At that point I only had two more parlays in play. So I regrouped, came home for my dinner break and placed a few more bets. Rutgers won me $5 in their bowl game brought to you by Beef O'Bradys. The Magic, Lakers, Spurs, Rockets and Suns won bringing me $10. And a random 7 team college basketball parlay won me $21.

As I sit here I was thinking I was about to win 2 NHL parlays as the Oilers went into the 3rd period up 2-0 against the Capitals. I was getting 1.5 goals, meaning the Capitals would have to score 4 unanswered goals in the 3rd period. Right now it's 4-2 Capitals with 45 seconds left. I can't fucking believe this. That would be another $33 if the Oilers didn't shit the bed in the 3rd.

Now it's over and the day ends on a bad note. 4 unanswered goals? Ovechkin got pissed and scored 2 goals and added an assist.

Hopefully Sunday will be a repeat of last Sunday when I climbed from almost broke back to over $100.

Account balance - $92.17

Moving on.....

The Bucks blew another close game today. They simply can't play D when they need to. But they continue to prove they are much better than expected.

I went on Ebay the other day to find my girlfriend a Nintendo Gamecube game she's always talking about. While on Ebay I made an amazing discovery. There are now dual Nintendo/Super Nintendo consoles. I totally bought one and it is sitting next to me as we speak. I will totally be hooking it up when I post this. I also bought Super Tecmo Bowl for Nintendo, Super Tecmo Bowl III for Super Nintendo and Zelda for Super Nintendo. Fucking. Awesome. My future children will be pissed when I'm always playing the Playstation 7 that I bought them (myself) for Christmas

Friday, December 18, 2009

Daily Wagering and Thursday Results

A minor loss yesterday. I actually won two single bets, and allow me to pat myself on the back. I liked the Jags at home but I didn't like the +4. So I bought half a point and made it +4.5. Jags lost by 4, and I won. I'm fucking brilliant. I also won the over 202.5 in the Suns/Blazers game.

I was contacted by a voice from above this morning. I was given some insider info for a bowl game tomorrow tonight. That voice from above was the omnipotent stud himself, Twinkie. He told me to take the +10.5 on Wyoming vs Fresno St. He also told me to take the under 55. I'm leaning toward the over so I'll just skip it altogether. But I will place $5 on the +10.5. If I lose, Twinkie's a dick and he owes me $5.

****UPDATE - My apologies to Twinkie. For some reason I thought he was talking about Wyoming when he was actually talking about the FCS Championship tonight and Montana vs Villanova. Twinkie says the only thing I would need to worry about is Montana blowing Nova out. I then informed him Montana is actually a 2 pt underdog. He can't believe this, so I'm set to win $5 if Montana wins.

Account balance --- $94.00

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Monday Results

Six total bets and I won one of them resulting in an overall win of about $2. I won a three team college basketball parlay - Troy +17, Georgia Tech -16.5 and Florida Atlantic for $27.13. I can't believe how bad the Cardinals looked last night. I had them at -4. I tried a lucrative NBA parlay that would've paid $375 and I actually came pretty close. I also missed an NHL parlay due to a late goal by the Canucks. I'm liking the spread in the NHL games. They are always 1.5 goals either way. So I'll either pick a team at +1.5 or I'll pick a team to win straight up. There are so many one goal games.

I have six more wagers tonight with two more of those lucrative parlays (college basketball and NBA). I also have a nice NHL parlay in there too.

Total account balance prior to today's bets - $125.77.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sunday Results

Big day for me on Sunday.
  • won an 8 team money line parlay - $5 won $42.97
  • won a 4 team NBA parlay with over/under, money line and spread - $5 won $23.41
  • won an NFL prop bet - first score of Redskins/Raiders would be a FG - $8.41 won $9.25
  • won a 2 team NHL parlay - $5 won $8.32
  • won 2 team NFL parlay - $5 won $5.76

If the Bears would've covered 4.5 I would've won another $140. Fucking Mason Crosby fucked that up for me. Had he hit that FG the Pack would've been up 10. The Bears possibly drive for a late TD and lose by 3. But by missing that I didn't have much of a chance.

The account balance is up to $123.14, meaning you'll have to put up with my obsession for about one more week. I've made back my 2nd installment and plan to ride this wave to an early retirement.

I've come to realize you start to understand what bets to place a little better the more you do it. Not to suggest I'll start winning, but I know a lot more about a lot more teams right now. Like Boston College is awful. They've lost to Harvard and Rhode Island back to back.

Other thoughts -

Mason Crosby needs to be cut right now. We are incredibly lucky his dick suckiness hasn't cost us a game. You could hear the sadness in the radio announcers voices when he missed that FG today. I don't care who they get. Pick up the dude the Redskins just cut. Maybe a change of scenery will help that guy and maybe Crosby will benefit as well.

What is it about the 2nd half of games. The Packers simply suck. The term "it" is applied to many teams and players. The Packers don't have "it." At least not yet.

Bears fans were so pumped to get Jay Cutler. My dad has a friend in Chicago who told him before the year began that they finally had the guy to win them a championship. He has great skills, there's no doubt about that. But he doesn't have "it" either. He simply sucks this year. Besides, he looks like a whiny little brat.

The Bucks are entirely unpredictable. They almost beat the Celtics at Boston. And they won a great doubt OT game against the Blazers, although they shit the bed in the 4th quarter and almost lost. They're much better than expected and maybe a playoff team without a very good record. Brandon Jennings is the go-to clutch player. He's a stud in the making, but not quite there yet, too inconsistent. We'll groom him into an All Star and then he'll go to NY or LA in a couple years. Michael Redd is done. He makes this team worse. Trade him. Now.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Daily Wagering 12/11

Fuck over 196.5. Fuck Colorado. Go Penguins.

The "free money" was a bonus I received for making at $100 deposit. I took the $10 bonus and bet on the Penguins straight up. I won about $6.50. I keep the $6.50 but don't get the $10 back. Fair enough.

Tonight - 3 team NHL parlay, 4 team NBA parlay, 3 team NCAA bball parlay. I don't have it in front of me right now so I don't know the specifics. I'm not in a place where it would be wise to check info like that.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Daily Wagering 12/10 and an apology

I apologize to you, Juice, for the Badger loss last night. For the first time in my life I was rooting for them because I had bet on them. I'm not the type of person who says, like most people do, I have the worst luck in the world. But, come on, they beat Duke and lose to UWGB? Duke would kill UWGB.

I re-upped on the gambling site to continue with my wagering. I'll allow a few seconds for a standing applause..........................

I wasn't technically out of money. I have $18 on the line for some large favorites in the world of boxing, but since none of you will have heard of any of the participants, I'll simply leave it at that. I dropped another hundy which also gave me a 10% bonus of $10 of free money. At this point I'm not sure what "free money" is. It's a separate balance, which I bet on the Penguins straight up tonight.

I've decided to not be so reckless anymore. No more 10+ team parlays. Well, not as much of them, I should say.

Tonight I took Florida +4.5 at home against Syracuse. Should be a good game with each team in the top 15. 5 to win 4.55.

Two team NCAA parlay - Colorado -150 and Michigan St -16.5. I moved the Michigan St line down a little. 5 to win 6.05

Two team NBA parlay - Wizards +7.5 against Celtics and over 196.5. I moved the over/under up a little. 5 to win 9.99.

It's a new day. Tune in tomorrow for my simultaneous bitching about all five or so teams I'm betting on today.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Daily Wagering 12/9

Today is a new day. Taking it one day at a time. It is what it is. Blah blah blah.

I'm fired up. I have some large wagers on the line. And my account balance is now at $0.00. I placed all the remaining money on bets today.

I've been pondering Juice's advice, and of course I had already pondered it before he mentioned it, but I just can't lay off the parlays. They are simply too much fun.

I have a simple college basketball parlay, very similar to the parlay I won yesterday using my (non) foolproof plan. Boston College, St Johns, Indiana St, Villanova, San Diego St and Southern Illinois. All are -700 or more. 8 to win 6.15. Add the Lakers and Spurs to that 5 to win 6.18.

The rest of my bets have relatively high payouts.

4 team NHL parlay. I'm due to win an NHL bet. Capitals, Devils, Blackhawks, Avalanche. All money line. 5 to win 33.04.

4 team NBA parlay, which I have no chance of winning. Bulls/Hawks over 196.5, Pistons +3.5, Warriors -110 and Cavaliers -2.5. 5 to win 60.

4 team college basketball parlay - Badgers -6, Michigan +1, Western Michigan -2.5 and Arizona -250. 5 to win 44.

And with my remaining 5.55 I decided to go out with a bang. A 15 team parlay combining NBA and NCAA. 5.55 to win 90.44.

As soon as I lose all these bets, which will be around 11 o'clock central time, I will begin to mull over another hundred bucks. I will allow my decision to be swayed by our loyal readers.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Daily Wagering 12/7

I got anally raped yesterday, but I took it with a smile on my face.

I'm gonna get the update out of the way before I start crying -
  • pending wagers - $20
  • current balance - $43.69
  • actual balance - $63.69
  • overall progress - (46.74)

I didn't realize it until late last night that the Patriots cost me $50. I can't fucking believe they lost to the Dolphins. What the FUCK. I also lost $5 on a shootout loss by the Ducks to the Senators (as a side note, watching shootout updates on a cell phone is not as exciting as watching it on TV). I read recently that Kansas went on a 36-0 run against Alcorn St the other day. The Bucks, not wanting to be outdone, allowed a 29-0 run to the Cavs. That's is simply unbfuckinglievable. Suffice it to say they did not cover the +8. I did place a last second bet on the Giants yesterday, and they performed admirably, giving me somewhat of a moral victory.

Fuck Brandon Lang.

So, I've spent this entire NFL season watching the Vikings do whatever they want. It was all so easy, and all so frustrating to watch. He Who Shall Not Be Named never got touched. Jared Allen never got blocked. With this in mind I decide to turn the tables and bet on the Vikings favored by 4. Out of 12 games, they've covered the spread or at least barely missed covering the spread in 11. I choose the one game they were out of at halftime.

I did win one of my (non) foolproof parlays, though. Automatic.

Moving on.....

All my Packer bets were part of parlays I lost yesterday, so I was forced to make a couple new ones, including a prop bet. I took the Packers at -3.5 for $5 to win $4.55. I also took the prop bet that the first score of the game will NOT be a touchdown $5 to win $7.

(Non) foolproof parlay of the day - college basketball - Seton Hall, Texas A&M, Auburn (iffy pick), Michigan St and Bradley. $5 to win $6.88.

I also placed a long term boxing (non) foolproof bet - 8 matches to be decided over the next few weeks - $5 to win $13.96.

As I type this I placed a 4 team NBA money line bet. Again, money line is simply picking the winner. Nuggets, Trail Blazers, OKC and Spurs. $5 to win $24.90. Needless to say, this bet is much more important than the Packer game and I'm seriously debating whether or not to get the NBA Season Pass application that will allow me to listen to any NBA game on my phone.

Gambling lesson of the day - Prop Bets. Not being able to come up with a definition, I'll use an example. Every NFL game has a ton of prop bets (i.e. who scores first, will a team score within the first 7.5 minutes, will a team score 3 or more unanswered times, etc). Prop bets are bets that have nothing to do with the final outcome of a game. Tonight, ideally, the Packers will score first with a field goal and win me 7 fucking big ones.

If I don't turn things around today it appears I'll be on life support soon. I have authorized myself another hundy if need be, but I'm not sure I'll go through with it. But this is so much fun.