BREAKING NEWS!!!

DE PERE, WI--Al Cowlings has been fired as head coach of The White Broncos of the Orenthal James Simpson Football Association. Cowlings led The White Broncos to a championship last season, but failed to make the playoffs for the first time in three years going 7-9. He was the first and only coach of the franchise, and owner Juicelaw said at the time of his hiring in 2006: "He was the obvious choice. He was the only choice." Reached for comment, Al Cowlings replied "I'M A.C. DAMMIT!"

The search for a replacement was over quickly as The White Broncos immediately hired the urn containing the ashes of Johnny Cochran. Cochran had been the offensive coordinator for the Cleveland Browns.

OJSFA Championship: Alleged Double-Murder Bowl IV

That is just a working title by the way. We could go with "Knife Bowl", "Stabbing Bowl", "Throat Slash Bowl", "Acquittal Bowl". I'm willing to take suggestions.

Anyway, this started out as a comment, but this really deserves its own post. I think what is fascinating about this matchup is the true hatred/homosexual tension between these two. The only other rivalries in this league with more latent homosexual tension are any games involving Duper.

From someone who knows both owners, they are basically the same person. Both drank themselves out of school early, and later returned. Both are assholes. Both drink (smoke?) too much. Both enjoy video games and long walks on the beach. Both are bachelors who are living the dream in their mid to late 20s. Both live in shitty college towns (River Falls and Oshkosh). Both pretty much do whatever the fuck they want whenever they feel like it. Both are my personal heroes.

This rivalry began in 1998 or 1999, at a small to mid-sized high school in Northeast Wisconsin when Bear decided for no good reason to pour nacho cheese sauce all over my brother's hot lunch. This led to a series of threatening phone calls from my dad to Bear, demanding that $1.10 for the lunch ticket. At some point, I believe at my wedding, Bear gave the lunch ticket to my dad. Fun was had by all.

Then Bear had to go pick up Shaun Alexander off of waivers, after Twinkie dropped him (Alexander was a top 5 pick and not yet completely useless), and trade him to my brother, only to have Alexander fall off a cliff and die. This did not make my brother happy. Then, last year, Bear traded my brother Tom Brady 45 seconds before he blew out his knee. And to rub it in his face, after my brother panicked and cut Brady, Bear picked him up, kept him, and he won his 2nd MVP in 3 years. So there is history.

Vegas has put Clown Baby as a 2 point favorite. 265 o/u.

I guess I hope my brother wins, because if he dies, in some sort of weird "I'm my own grandpa" circumstance, I could inherit that $250.

Ladies and Gentlemen! Your Orenthal James Simpson Football Association champion, The White Broncos! Yes, thank you, thank you. My shorthanded team of miscreants destroyed the Twinkies in impressive fashion thanks solely to Dr. Phillip Rivers, MoJo Drew and Tennessee's defense. Everyone else on my team shit the bed, but thanks to the Iggles (one half of Twinkies team) I was able to pull it out. It is worth mentioning that I obtained Phil and MoJo in a trade FROM Twinkie for Donovan McNabb and FatDale White. My pair outscored his something like 50 to 20. Victory is sweet. I am probably either going to spend the money on blow or a new snowblower, I haven't decided.

Championship MVP goes to Dr. Phillip for his 284yd, 4TD performance. He joins Donovan McNabb in '07 and Marvin Harrison in '06 as past winners. (Which doesn't bode well for him).