All Star (Non)Game Highlights

The game was fine. Close, nice catch by Crawford, blah, blah.

But two non-game items stuck out to me as being awesome.

1) During the President's in-booth interview, Joe Buck made a crack about how the NL has not won the last 12 all star games, and how "There's no stimulus plan for them" or something. Obama's response "We're out of money." THAT is fucking hilarious, because that is the exact same thing that Joe Blow off the street would have said. Also the fist pump after he didn't bounce the first pitch (almost did) was funny too. By the way, Fox News burned to the ground after that comment, and I'm pretty sure they started a 24 hour channel devoted specifically to those four words.

2) THIS.


This is the best fast food commercial ever made. And it isn't close. Congrats to Taco Bell. I only saw it once, but some day, I'm going to do a full length expose on the lyrics. Genius.

Personality Tests & Links

As Juice has noticed, I have been on a slight hiatus. It stems from laziness and the fact that everyone that has my job at the St. Croix Valley YMCA has quit at the same time. The YMCA has since realized that surfing the internet all day and disc golfing are not adequate excuses to miss work. Plus, the Twins are on a home stand and I have been attending as many of the games as possible (until I ate a rancid spicy chicken soft taco from taco bell, that is). I have also been using my "internet time" to search and apply for middle school math teaching jobs throughout the United States. Combine all this with sleeping in until 11:00 am and my fondness for recreational drugs and it should be clear to everyone why I haven't been posting as much as possible. I will do my best in the future to post at least one time per day.

Since I haven't been paying as close of attention to sports as usuall, I am going to post about what I have been spending my time doing: these mind-numbing teacher applications that I have to fill out online if I want a job influencing small children. Every one of these applications requires the typical information you would expect (contact info, job history, teacher license info, references, special skills, etc.). I have to type in all of this information for each job that I apply for (15 & counting) then I have to upload a copy of everything to corroborate it. This generally takes about one hour and can be a pain in the ass due to the fickle nature (dates, phone numbers) of data entry forms on the computer. This is completely expected, but I wish I could just print off the required documents and mail them in with a letter of interest.

The reason that I wanted to share this with our readers is that some of the times the school that I am applying for has a personality test. That's fine, but they always come out of nowhere. Also, when they come up I have no idea how many questions there are and the questions are timed. Why in the middle of the slowest process ever do these schools feel the need to stick in a timed personality test? It can really throw you off. These tests also ask a lot of questions with obvious answers or they will also ask the same question more than once. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!! I can't wait till this part of the process is over (which should be soon because I have so far received zero inquiries). Anyways, here is a sampling of the type of questions I have been asked.

Really? This was for a middle school in Helena, Montana. The population is 94.78% White.

Like what? Calling some guy for weed when he's the upstairs neighbor of your friend's brother's girlfriend?

The answer is B. But, how could I answer that? I'm supposed to be empathetic.

What would you do? I have no idea. Why is a 16-year-old taking this news so hard? I just want him to stop crying. He's 16!!!

Thanks for listening. I'll be back to posting about sports (baseball) tomorrow.