"Your Hard Drive Has Been Corrupted..."

Well thanks a fucking lot Dish Network. Fucking pricks. My DVR started acting up yesterday. Basically, it didn't work, and gave me some bullshit message about data not being available. So I "reset" the receiver, which did nothing. Today, I got home from work and went to watch PTI, and it gave me same message. After turning through the worthless help website (No fucking way am I sitting on the phone with those pricks), it said to unplug the receiver and plug it back in, which I guess is different than resetting it. Whatever, I did it, and it came back with a message telling me that "I may have difficulties pausing and recording live shows. And I needed to unplug the receiver" No shit Sherlock. So I did it again. And this time I got the "MY DATA IS CORRUPT" message and that the only option I had was to delete everything from my hard drive. If you don't have a DVR, you are Amish and probably also don't have the Internets, so I'm not sure why I included that phrase, but if you don't have a DVR, you don't understand what a problem this is. Because people that have a DVR tend not only to record shows that they really like and watch religiously, but they tend to get a little adventurous and record things they might like, or are curious about (midget cake fetish porn). Also, the "season passes", or the timers for every fucking show you've ever cared about watching, some of which have long been cancelled but you are too lazy to delete, disappear. And those take a long time to accumulate. Not unlike terrible posts on this blog. So those have to be rebuilt from scratch. Inevitably, you will forget one, and miss like 4 episodes of a show and never see them again.

Also, in my accumulation of shit, I had the entire series of "Breaking Bad" that I was four episodes into. And the entire season of "Justified" that I just watched pilot for. 5 or 6 random movies I recorded off of HBO a year ago that I was probably going to get to at some point, and the last 30 for 30. All of them are fucking gone.

So what am I going to do about it other than bitch? Probably nothing. My contract is another year I think and I have to pay like $10,000 to get out of it. I guess I could call and threaten them and hope for a discount or something, which usually works by the way, but I don't have any real leverage because I can't just quit and go back to Time Warner (which I still hate). So probably I will convince my wife that we either order Netflix or she will be forced to watch the Brewers trip over their dicks for another 80 games or so.

UPDATE: And I just restarted the receiver after deleting the hard drive (allegedly) and I can't even look at it. What the fuck.

2ND UPDATE: After 20 minutes on the phone, I was informed that the receiver had to be replaced, and they would mail us one, blah, blah, blah. Then I asked when my contract was up. The guy asked why? I said because I just lost 50 hours of shit on my DVR because your equipment sucks. He said it was up in April....And then he didn't offer me shit. What. A. Prick. Time Warner, which again is terrible, would've offered me a shitload of free shit to stay. They almost convinced me to stay when I quit them two years ago, their offer was so ridiculous. Fucker. Well, wait till my wife finds out. She will be PISSED. I can pretty much guarantee she will be on the phone within 5 minutes and will not get off until she gets in a shouting match, gets free shit, or cancels the service. She is scary.

To be continued....

I Sympathize With Big Ben

Hello everyone. I'm back from my two week suspension for violation of the Internets' Personal Conduct Policy. Hopefully I'll be around a bit more from now on. That assumes I can keep my head on straight, and stay out of college bars in Millegeville, GA. I want to thank my teammates: Bear, Sports Bottle, Twinkie and Loaf Cobra for picking up the slack and leading the team to victories in my absence. I hope the Steelers have similar success when Ben is gone.

PACKER DRAFT REACT

Going in, I wanted a tackle, a corner, an outside LB and a safety. And possibly a RB. Anything else is fine to fill in our picks. I was mildly thrilled with Bryan Bulaga. He fills an immediate need, can hopefully start when Chad Clifton or Tauscher gets hurt, and since neither is a guarantee to be around next year, gives us a starter to plug in for the next 10 years or so. Bulaga was alleged to be going in the top 10, so I felt pretty good about getting him where we did.

What happened afterwards was a little different. Not that I've heard of every player in this draft or anything, but when you have a bunch of guys available that you know are pretty good, and fit positions of need, I can't stand when we take a guy I've never heard of. Round 2 was an absolutely classic Ted Thompson move by taking Mike Neal. I suppose it never hurts to have another D-lineman, but this was not a big need compared to the things listed above, and this appeared to be a huge reach. Round 3 actually looked like a pretty good pick. Everywhere I saw had Morgan Burnett as a 2nd round pick, and we certainly needed a safety. Round 5 it was back to classic Thompson, taking a TE even though we have 3 pretty decent ones on the roster, and a likely future Pro Bowler in Finley. I think if you are going to take someone at a position where you have a bunch of guys already, you should probably take a dude that is GUARANTEED to be good. The last Round 5 pick, I guess we took a guard. Fine with that I guess. Colledge is a douche, and is now officially expendable. Not exciting at all. I dunno. In Ted I trust, I'm sure it will work out.

In other news, why didn't we trade for Leon Washington? Seattle gave up nothing to get him. He is exactly what we needed. He is fast, can catch, can return kicks.

Finally, moving the draft to Thursday was genius. I legitimately forgot that the NBA playoffs were even happening. NFL is king.

BREWERS

What a roller coaster. I was looking for something tall to jump off of last Saturday after we lost to the Nats. Then we nearly blew last Sunday after a 10 run first. Then we DESTROYED the Pirates, and we were for sure going to win the World Series. Then Soup pitched. The best quote I read this morning reads as follows: "...The more important question is how long the organization will continue to trot Suppan to the mound every five days. He no longer has the stuff to be an effective big league starter, and it is becoming borderline irresponsible for Ken Macha and Doug Melvin to stick by the veteran simply because of his salary." Amen.

THE FUTURE AND STUFF

Tomorrow, my wife and I (who LOVE kids :)) are babysitting for my 3 year old twin nieces. I'm sure nothing terrible will happen.

Since Roger Goodell screwed me out of getting hammered with my second family today by moving the draft to Thursday, I have to look forward to Shit In My Eye as the next out of body drinking experience. I am going to guess that I will get drunk.

You are on notice that the OJSFA Owner's Meeting will take place at the Days Inn on Washington St. in Green Bay next Saturday. BYOB. Watch your emails.

I received my San Diego Padres/Washington National tickets in the mail today. Going on a mini-vacation at the end of May, and am going to check out Petco. And probably drink a margarita or ten. I hope to (Sports Bottle's) god, Strasburg gets called up and starts for the Nats.

DVR ALERT!!!!!!

Games 3 and 4 of the Bucks/Hawks sweep. Not that anyone other than my brother will watch anyway.

"Lost" Rant

I fucking hate my job right now. I'm stressed. I'm overworked. I'm underpaid. I'm tired. Blah, blah, blah. The point is that I'm also irritable, and I'm lashing out in an attempt to avoid working, or at least until my next appointment comes in.

This is the last season of "Lost". "Lost" has been one of my favorite television series of all time. Just six seasons of mind fuck. Which is great, except when the show is supposed to "end" in May, and we are supposed to get "answers" to our "questions". By my calculations there are probably 9 or 10 episodes left, tops. And so far, I am more confused than ever.

Why do they just keep adding character, after character, and back story after back story? You know what I think? I think they thought the series was going to end two years ago with them getting off the island, but then ABC gave them a godfather deal, and now they had to stretch this thing out even further. I just cannot even fathom how this thing can end and give anyone any satisfaction.

So I guess if my "question" was "How could this get anymore confusing, complex, convoluted and fucked up?", then my question has definitely been "answered". Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go study on the Internets for three hours to prepare myself to watch this week's episode off my DVR.

DVR Sports Etiquette

I'm writing this in honor of Twinkie ruining the U.S. semifinal hockey game with a text at 4:30 yesterday afternoon. I'm not totally blaming him, it is probably partially my fault for checking my phone when a message came through. But, we need to take what is currently a free for all, full of anarchy, and create rules for which we can all follow. And since I watch a tremendous amount of sports on DVR, and Bill Simmons has apparently not created a ruling on this, I feel I am the man to do it. Here are simple rules to make everyone not hate everyone else.

FOR THE PERSON WATCHING LIVE:

1) FIRE A WARNING SHOT: If you are going to send a text, email or call someone, always send a message before you send any info that would give clues on a game: " Are you watching the _______(insert team/league here)?" Do not follow up with something using exclamation points or bitching about said game until you get a yes reply.

2) CONSIDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES: If the game is on at 2 p.m. on a Friday afternoon, and it is a game that the person you are contacting will probably care about, there is a pretty good chance that person has recorded it. Don't assume anything.

3) DON'T BE A DICK: If you have been informed by the other person that he is definitely recording the game, leave them alone until you are given the go ahead.

FOR THE PERSON RECORDING

1) GIVE WARNING: Tell everyone you know who might try to contact you that you are recording it.

2) DON'T CHECK YOUR MESSAGES: If you aren't sure that everyone got the warning, don't check your texts until you are caught up. You don't have the right to be pissed if you could have avoided reading your messages. You probably aren't that important.

3) BE REALISTIC: If you are DVRing the Super Bowl, there better be a live birth, a funeral or a wedding (yours) going on. And don't expect to be kept in the dark for two days. I think a fair rule is 12 hours from the start of the recorded game unless you are out of the country or that death/birth/nuptial is happening. And in that case you better have your phone/Internets completely dark.

Between Twinkie and myself, we violated 4 of those rules yesterday. So I will share some blame.

DVR WARNING!!!

I have set the U.S.-Canada gold medal hockey game to record tomorrow because I'm not 100% positive I will be back from the disease infested drama fest at the fake waterpark. Please follow the above rules. Thank you.

Not So Famous Dave's

I used to love Famous Dave's. In high school, it was a frequent hang out when we had money burning holes in our pockets. I will always remember the time I ate 10 corn bread muffins on a dare. In law school we went there on occasion. I never didn't love it. It has been approximately 4 years since my last Famous Dave's. The nearest one is in Appleton, and we don't get there that often. And my wife doesn't love it. Last night though, we made a stop. And it was fucking terrible. It was historically bad. Like so bad I don't think I can ever go back. The only good things were a) the beer was cold and b) the corn muffin. Everything else was cold and slimy. The service was slow and they fucked up my wife's order. I haven't been that disappointed in a long time. I will just stick to the pulled pork and ribs that my dad makes. They are a thousand times better, and free. Overall Experience: 1.5 out of 5.

I've decided to watch Cards/Saints, try to watch CU/Wichita in spurts or on the computer, go to dinner with the bosses, try to catch most of Colts/Ravens live, and DVR Bucky v. Ohio St for late night viewing/head bobbing. I figure the Badger score will be easiest to avoid.

Sorry for wasting all of your time. Go watch some sports.

"Docta Said I Need A Backeotomy"

---Sir Smokealot.

We are entering the time of year where there isn't going to be all that much for me to write about. Sure, I suppose I could write about the NFL playoffs, but unless something super funny happens, I don't really need to put you through a 1,203,451st post about what a piece of shit He Who Shall Not Be Named is. Although I suppose, you could witness my last few days (and probably the end of humanity as Satan swallows up the Earth when his prophecy is fulfilled) if He and His Viqueens win the Super Bowl. Let's just hope and assume that isn't going to happen. ANYWAYS, other than college basketball junk, which I love, but which doesn't typically give me that much to write about, there isn't much out there. Combine that with the fact that Uncle Sam and his archaic tax system forces everyone in America to file a tax return by April 15th (and that this system provides me with an excuse to stay employed, which provides me with free internet access for the other 9 months out of the year to post incessant ramblings on this site), and I will be actually "working" and not "pretending to work" (except during March Madness when I will be watching MMOD on my computer) there will be alot less of me in the coming months. Historically (last year) you can see that the number of posts in February and March is reduced dramatically. Here is the point. We allegedly have 3 other people and one other zoo animal that are able to post things on this here site. I don't mind carrying this team for 9 months out of the year ala Aaron Rodgers, but once in awhile I need someone else to make a play. I'm merely requesting that you each take like 10 minutes a week to put something of (time wasting and irrelevant) substance here. I will attempt to throw something up once a week or so, or more if something tickles my fancy (like NBA gun play, or Tiger chasing Wilt). Thank You.

THE WEEKEND

I have a "quintuple date" on Saturday consisting of my wife and I, and my four bosses and their spouses. It is going to be awful. I'm either going to miss a good portion of Colts/Ravens, or I am going be up until 4 am watching shit on the DVR (there is also UW/Ohio St. at 7, and CU/Wichita St at 4 on ESPN2 (why bother)). Not sure what to do yet. Maybe I will just get blacked out on margaritas.

SNOW VOLLEYBALL

Richard finally broke me down. Even though I went at least once in college and it was not memorable at all. I'm headed to La Crosse in a few weeks to get blacked out at the Alpine Inn while watching drunken assholes freeze thier asses of on a snow covered volleyball court, then attempt to navigate down the bluff without dying. Good thing the ice is frozen, or I would drown Richard in the Mississippi. The Unknown QB is also going. And also maybe everyone's favorite friend of my wife. Richard is totally going to bang her (or my brother will?) AGAIN.

NFL PICKS

This is the second best weekend in sports. First is the four day open to the NCAA Basketball Tournament. Hopefully nobody is taking these pretend bets and placing them for real.

Last Week: 1-3
Season: 114-117-4
All-Time: 248-243-6

NO (-7), Ind (-6.5), Min (-2.5), SD (-7.5)

All-Decade List: Technology

I was throwing around the idea of doing a whole bunch of all-decade lists, because I am just as qualified as anyone else (not really) to make these kinds of lists. I still might do some, but I realized how much thought could actually go into some of these. For instance, "Songs of the Decade". There are probably like 12 million songs put out in the decade. Not that you need to listen to all of them, but you probably have to hear most of them. So when I do that list when I'm sitting around bored the day after Christmas, take it with a whole bunch of grains of salt. I decided I was going to do one based on "Technology created in the last decade that changed my life the most." This has to be something that didn't exist before 2000. I'm going to throw some on here that probably only changed my life from an advertising/envy standpoint, and that for whatever reason I never actually owned. Feel free to suggest others in the comments, as I will surely miss one or ten.

1) The iPod

I got the whole idea for the list as I was listening to my "2005" playlist on my iPod on the way to "work" and I realized that the fucker is turning 5 this week. Five years for any piece of technology, especially in today's day and age, is like turning 300 in human years. I've dropped this thing, subjected it to temperatures ranging from -40 to 120. And it still works. The battery only lasts about 40 minutes without being charged and I can no longer use it as a running aid because it doesn't like being shaken. But it still plays music in my car. I've got well over 3,000 songs on it, which prior to 2000 would have involved numerous books of CDs that took up alot of space, and got scratched. I would say that not only in the vehicle, but exercising, the iPod was the technological advance of the decade. At least personally.

2) PlayStation 3

And I haven't even hooked it up to the Internet yet (I actually have ordered the equipment to do it). I was an early adopter, getting mine in 2007. While it is hard to waste as much time as I did with PSone or PS2, based on age and responsibility, it has still been life altering.

3) DVR

This probably should be higher, but I'm too lazy to cut and paste. You'll never miss a TV show again. You can record sporting events and avoid society until you have time to watch. Unbelievable advance.

4) Blu-Ray

I have one by way of my PS3. I have watched very few honestly. I'm a little behind on this one, and I don't have much excuse other than I don't watch that many movies, and don't really rent them. I was one of the first persons I knew to have a DVD player (1998) and have a Blu-Ray player (2007) but now I'm severely behind in that category. That being said, they are spectacular and I should run out and melt all my DVDs.

5) Wii

I don't own one (although my wife seems to want one for some reason), and I don't think I would sit and play one by myself. But it is one of the coolest things to have at your house when you have people over. It is really, really fun. Just make sure you use the wrist strap, especially when you are hammered.

6) Big Ten Network

I have it, and the fact that I can watch 99% of Badger games makes it a) awesome and b) has changed my life

7) NFL Network

Great, great channel. And since I have a Dish, I have it. Football 24/7.

STUFF I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE, BUT EITHER HAVE USED, OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS, AND PERHAPS I WOULD LIKE IT, BUT IT HAS CHANGED THE WORLD FOR WHATEVER REASON

8) Netflix

I have resolved to get this in 2010. There are too many movies/TV series I have missed out on, that need to be rented. And I will get Blu Ray for sure.

9) iPhone

Seriously fucking cool. I still want one. Rumor has it that there is AT&T 3G in Green Bay now. I'm hoping within the next 18 months Apple allows Verizon to have the iPhone. I would get one in a second. That being said, fuck everyone that sits on it non-stop when we are sitting at a bar. There are commercials every 12 seconds for it.

10) Xbox 360

In my mind it is PS3 lite. But for those who like Xbox, I guess it is pretty good.

Corn Roasts

Going to a corn roast over at an in-laws tonight. For those who don't know, you take a shitload of corn, roast it on a grill or over a fire, and you eat it. Mix in a bunch of beer, and you have a corn roast. Not the biggest fan in the world, but it is OK. Problem is, the Badgers open up at 6 p.m. tonight. The corn roast starts at 4 p.m. You all know how I am about watching sporting events. I have the DVR set, and my wife's family is like just cognizant enough that a game is going on, that they are all going to want to talk to me about it (because they know that sports, video games, food and cocaine are the only 4 things I care about). The bad thing is that I am an asshole if I want to sit and watch the entire thing. So there is this awkward dynamic, where everyone will check the score and tell me enough to ruin any possibility of me watching it on DVR, but I can't watch it. Fucking sucks. If it was a Packer game, I would totally just be a dick and watch it and ignore the family. Or not go at all. But Badgers v. Huskies probably doesn't rise to an acceptable level of importance to make a scene.