Neck Deep In Hoops

I'm coming off a day that began with college basketball (with a little work interrupting the first half of the first game), and ended with college basketball. The games yesterday were spectacular, including the ending of the Butler-Pitt game that probably set a record for being ridiculous. BUTLER'S foul with about 2 seconds left was crazy and ill-advised, then PITT fouling on the rebound with a tie game 90 feet away from the basket was even more insane. The thing is, the refs got both of these calls exactly right. The calls were not at all controversial, and the players/coaches have nobody to blame but themselves. I think the highlight of the Butler-Pitt game was on the Butler foul, my 4 year old nephew came walking in the front door, and me (being half in the bag) screamed out "NO FUCKING WAY!". And my nephew laughed.

In other news, great, gutty win by UW yesterday. Even though Jordan Taylor lost his scholarship money in Vegas by accidentally blocking Pullen's shot, he tried his hardest to lose the game by taking a series of awful shots, and making none of them. One question I had was how was Leuer allowed to play with his whole head blood stained? Shouldn't they have made him take a shower or something? Did they douse his head with chemicals? There was clearly crusted blood mixed with sweat on his head. Found it interesting is all.

Butler is not going to fear the Badgers at all, but Bucky should beat Butler, which will set up a game against either BYU or Florida for the final four. BYU scares me, because if Taylor can't hold Pullen under 30, Jimmer might get 50. Florida is much more athletic, but they don't scare me much. I guess the Badgers might as well continue this crazy run of Wisconsin sports success with a Final Four run.

Finally, as I settle in for another day of games, I wanted to point out that I don't like the new schedule, especially today. It used to be that on Sunday they would stack up all the games to end by 6 so that old people could watch 6o Minutes before they die. It was nice because I could finish watching hoops early, and think about something else for a few hours. I love basketball, but sometimes one's brain needs to do something else for a few minutes. Now, because of the four networks, they are staggering the games until 11 p.m. again. I will watch, but I may not sleep now, because I will be thinking about hoops.

Oh, one last thing. Creighton! Davidson! Its the second (?) round of the CBI or Collegeinsiders.com (I'm not sure which)! Live on HDNet!!! Monday at 6 p.m. Set your DVRs so I don't have to.

WAIT! A bonus one last thing. In the Division 1 High School championship last night in Wisconsin, a kid pulled a Chris Webber and called a timeout up by 2 with about 2 seconds left. Kid on the other team drilled two FTs, and the timeout team eventually lost in Triple OT. It was super entertaining. I felt bad for the kid.

Bear's Picks!

I shamelessly stole Jon's format for this post because, quite frankly, I don't have time to do this haha. This bracket was submitted to yahoo this morning, before the deadline somehow! I took about 10 minutes of un-researched time to make all the picks. I tried to follow a couple rules, bomber teams and good guard play trumped good front court play when I felt there was a close match up or the talent level was comparable. Also, I gave the big ten and the big east penalties, just cuz they always fuck me every year and quite frankly I'm pushing them down on my rankings because of it. And as always, I hate the SEC, so they get pushed down as well. As a side note, with 2 games completed I'm already 2-0, so obviously I'm awesome at this game.

The picks:

East Region
(1) Ohio State over 16 seed
(9) Villanova over (8) George Mason
(5) West Virginia over (12) Clemson
(4) Kentucky over (13) Princeton
(11) Marquette over (6) Xavier
(3) Syracuse over (14) Indiana State
(7) Washington over (10) Georgia
(2) North Carolina over(15) Long Island

(1) Ohio State over (9) Villanova
(4) Kentucky over (5) West Virginia
(3)Syracuse over (11) Marquette
(2) North Carolina over (7) Washington

(1) Ohio State over (4) Kentucky
(2) North Carolina over (3)Syracuse

(1) Ohio State over (2) North Carolina

Southwest Region

(1) Kansas over (16) Boston U
(9) Illinois over (8) UNLV
(12) Richmond over (5) Vanderbilt
(4) Louisville over (13) Morehead St.
(6) Georgetown over (11) VCU
(3) Purdue over (14) St. Peter's
(10) Florida State over (7) Texas A&M
(2) Notre Dame over (15) Akron

(1) Kansas over (9) Illinois
(12) Richmond over (4) Louisville
(3) Purdue over (6) Georgetown
(2) Notre Dame over (10) Florida State

(1) Kansas over (12) Richmond
(3) Purdue over (2) Notre Dame

(1) Kansas over (3) Purdue

West Region

(1) Duke over (16) Hampton
(8) Michigan over (9) Tennessee
(5) Arizona over (12) Memphis
(4) Texas over (13) Oakland
(6) Cincinnati over (11) Missouri
(3) Connecticut over (14) Bucknell
(7) Temple over (10) Penn State
(2) San Diego State over (15) Northern Colorado

(1) Duke over (8) Michigan
(4) Texas over (5) Arizona
(3) Connecticut over (6) Cincinnati
(2) San Diego State over (7) Temple

(4) Texas over (1) Duke
(2) San Diego State over (3) Connecticut

(4) Texas over (2) San Diego State

Southeast Region
(1) Pittsburgh over (16) UNC-Ashville
(8) Butler over (9) Old Dominion
(5) Kansas State over (12) Utah State
(4) Wisconsin over (13) Belmont
(11) Gonzaga over (6) St. John's
(3) BYU over (14) Wofford
(10) Michigan State over (7) UCLA
(2) Florida over (15) UCSB

(1) Pittsburgh over (8) Butler
(5) Kansas State over (4) Wisconsin
(3) BYU over (11) Gonzaga
(2) Florida over (10) Michigan State

(5) Kansas State over (1) Pittsburgh
(3) BYU over (2) Florida

(5) Kansas State over (3) BYU

Final Four

(1) Ohio State over (4) Texas
(1) Kansas over (5) Kansas State

Finals

(1) Kansas over (1) Ohio State


You can call this thing a chalk bracket if you must, I have a couple upsets, nothing crazy, I went against the 5-12 rule this year, well I picked one, but that more goes back to my rule that the SEC fucking sucks, so it seemed like a ripe upset pick. My two "borderline" picks are Texas and K State going to the Final Four, both teams are pretty fucking good on paper, it's just a matter of playing well in the tourney, so we shall see. The Marquette pick is a pure homer upset pick. Fuck the Badgers, they aren't a good tourney team, especially with the region they drew. Purdue getting to the Elite Eight is also a little risky, but the bottom half of that region is littered with shitty upset picks and Big Ten and Big East teams all over the place, so who the hell knows what team is getting out of there. I felt like Ohio State was a good enough team to get over the whole Big Ten down ranking and I ended up with them paired off against Kansas. I figured Kansas to be the less common championship pick so why the hell not.

Keep in mind my beginning disclaimer, all of this logic spewed out of my brain over the course of 10 minutes this morning, so it should be iron clad.

Juice's Bracket of Death

Alright, here is one after I did all of the statistical research I'm willing to do. This is my best effort if I had to do one bracket to save my life. I will likely enter multiple brackets in multiple pools. I will leave the explanation to Jon, my method is a secret.

FIRST FOUR:

UT-San Antonio over Alabama St.
UAB over Clemson
UNC-Ashville over UALR
VCU over USC

EAST
1 Ohio St over 16 UT-San Antonio
8 George Mason over 9 Villanova

5 West Virginia over 12 UAB
4 Kentucky over 13 Princeton

11 Marquette over 6 Xavier
3 Syracuse over 14 Indiana St.

7 Washington over 10 Georgia
2 North Carolina over 15 LIU

1 Ohio St over 8 George Mason
4 Kentucky over 5 West Virginia

3 Syracuse over 11 Marquette
7 Washington over 2 North Carolina

1 Ohio St over 4 Kentucky
7 Washington over 3 Syracuse

1 Ohio St over 7 Washington

WEST

1 Duke over 16 Hampton
9 Tenn over 8 Mich

5 Arizona over 12 Memphis
4 Texas over 13 Oakland

6 Cincy over 11 Mizzou
3 UConn over 14 Bucknell

7 Temple over 10 Penn St.
2 SDSU over 15 N. Colorado

1 Duke over 9 Tenn
4 Texas over 5 Arizona

3 Uconn over 6 Cincy
2 SDSU over 7 Temple

1 Duke over 4 Texas
2 SDSU over 3 Uconn

1 Duke over 2 SDSU

SOUTHWEST

1 Kansas over 16 BU
9 Illinois over 8 UNLV

5 Vandy over 12 Richmond
4 Louisville over 13 Morehead St.

6 Georgetown over 11 VCU
3 Purdue over 14 St. Peter's

10 Florida St. over 7 Texas A&M
2 Notre Dame over 15 Akron

1 Kansas over 9 Illinois
4 Louisville over 5 Vandy

3 Purdue over 6 Georgetown
2 Notre Dame over 10 Florida St.

1 Kansas over 5 Vandy
3 Purdue over 2 Notre Dame

1 Kansas over 3 Purdue

SOUTHEAST

1 Pitt over 16 UNCA
8 Butler over 9 ODU

12 Utah St over 5 KSU
13 Belmont over 4 UW

11 Gonzaga over 6 St. John's
3 BYU over 14 Wofford

10 Michigan St over 7 UCLA
2 Florida over 15 UCSB

1 Pitt over 8 Butler
13 Belmont over 12 USU

3 BYU over 11 Gonzaga
2 Florida over 10 Michigan St.

1 Pitt over 13 Belmont
3 BYU over 2 Florida

3 BYU over 1 Pitt

FINAL FOUR

1 Ohio St over 1 Duke
1 Kansas over 3 BYU

CHAMPIONSHIP

Ohio St. over Kansas

Archie's Bracket

So here goes nothing. I did no research for this one. In fact, I didn't even pick it. My neighbor has a beagle named Archie (not making that up). I quickly got together 68 placards with team logos on them, put a dollop of peanut butter on it and had him lick one of them. The theory is that this dog, who also did no research, but probably watched a couple of games, can do as good as I can (or Jon can) with research.

FIRST FOUR:

UT-San Antonio over Alabama St.
UAB over Clemson
UNC-Ashville over UALR
VCU over USC

EAST
1 Ohio St over 16 UT-San Antonio
9 Villanova over 8 George Mason

5 West Virginia over 12 UAB
4 Kentucky over 13 Princeton

11 Marquette over 6 Xavier
3 Syracuse over 14 Indiana St.

7 Washington over 10 Georgia
2 North Carolina over 15 LIU

1 Ohio St over 9 Villanova
4 Kentucky over 5 West Virginia

3 Syracuse over 11 Marquette
2 North Carolina over 7 Washington

1 Ohio St over 4 Kentucky
2 North Carolina over 3 Syracuse

1 Ohio St over 2 North Carolina

WEST

1 Duke over 16 Hampton
9 Tenn over 8 Mich

5 Arizona over 12 Memphis
4 Texas over 13 Oakland

11 Mizzou over 6 Cincy
3 UConn over 14 Bucknell

7 Temple over 10 Penn St.
2 SDSU over 15 N. Colorado

1 Duke over 9 Tenn
5 Arizona over 4 Texas

3 Uconn over 11 Mizzou
7 Temple over 2 SDSU

1 Duke over 5 Arizona
3 Uconn over 7 Temple

3 Uconn over 1 Duke

SOUTHWEST

1 Kansas over 16 BU
8 UNLV over 9 Illinois

5 Vandy over 12 Richmond
13 Morehead St. over 4 Louisville

6 Georgetown over 11 VCU
3 Purdue over 14 St. Peter's

10 Florida St. over 7 Texas A&M
2 Notre Dame over 15 Akron

1 Kansas over 8 UNLV
5 Vandy over 13 Morehead St.

3 Purdue over 6 Georgetown
2 Notre Dame over 10 Florida St.

1 Kansas over 5 Vandy
3 Purdue over 2 Notre Dame

3 Purdue over 1 Kansas

SOUTHEAST

1 Pitt over 16 UNCA
9 ODU over 8 Butler

12 Utah St over 5 KSU
4 UW over 13 Belmont

6 SJU over 11 Gonzaga
3 BYU over 14 Wofford

10 Michigan St over 7 UCLA
2 Florida over 15 UCSB

1 Pitt over 9 ODU
12 USU over 4 UW

6 SJU over 3 BYU
2 Florida over 10 Michigan St.

1 Pitt over 12 USU
6 SJU over 2 Florida

1 Pitt over 6 SJU

FINAL FOUR

1 Ohio St over 3 Uconn
1 Pitt over 3 Purdue

CHAMPIONSHIP

Pitt over Ohio St.

Early Tournament Post

Before I get to selections, I would just like to point out that ESPN is ANGRY that VCU and UAB got in over their beloved Virginia Tech and Colorado. Jay Bilas has used words like "ridiculous", "absurd", "ridiculous" to describe this fact. The "Bracketology" show has been on for 20 minutes and they are STILL bitching about it. I'm not saying they are totally wrong, but thier "Eye Test" bullshit is annoying to me? If you just used an "eye test", no team from a BCS conference would ever get an at large bid, because teams with BCS ties have millions and millions of dollars, and large conference ties to get the best players. I just don't understand the theory that ESPN has here. And they incorrectly analyze the reasons the committee pick teams. There is no "eye test". It is purely a numbers game. I'm just sayin'.

I decided I'm going to put two brackets out here. ONE: a gut reaction bracket. TWO: a thoroughly researched bracket. I am fucking PUMPED for Tuesday.

Greinke, Real World, Bennett Ball

A few quick, untimely rants and thoughts from your favorite aquitted double murderer.

GREINKE

There is nothing that pisses me off more than when a professional athlete gets injured doing something they don't get paid to do that prevents them from doing something they get paid MILLIONS to do. Especially when that player is on my team. Jeff Kent "slipping while washing his car"= funny. Zack Greinke breaking a rib while playing basketball = not funny.

I realize that these guys are all (well not JaMarcus Russell) hypercompetitive twenty-somethings, who are incredible athletes. They shouldn't be expected to sit and play vids all day long when they aren't working out. But perhaps you could take up something that you are a little less likely to break a rib in. Now, you are still going to get paid millions while the Crew runs Mark Rogers (or (Sports Bottle's) god forbid Manny Parra) out there for two or three of your starts.

REAL WORLD LAS VEGAS

The latest Real World season premiered last week, and I gotta be honest, other than the "I don't ride cars, I ride boys" quote from the commercials, I wasn't that excited. I felt like it was a little played out going to Vegas for the third time. And then I watched it. And it was AWESOME. Here are some highlights:

-Guy who (is not gay mind you) is worried that his roommates are going to find out that he was in some web show where he ran around naked with a bunch of other dudes who were also not gay, and based on the blurred out clip, there were showers involved. But yeah, he isn't gay at all.

-Guy who started experimenting with drugs in high school, one thing led to another, and yada, yada, yada, someone got shot and he spent three years in juvy.

-And a ridiculous and surprising amount of Sun Drop product placement. I was unaware that Sun Drop HAD an ad budget. I thought their entire budget was sponsoring the scoreboards at Shawano High School. I legitimately thought it was produced and bottled in Shawano, and it didn't exist outside of Wisconsin. But I guess I was wrong. Good on Sun Drop. On a side note, Sun Drop out of a glass bottle is like crack.

BENNETT BALL

That game on Friday was the worst basketball game I've ever seen. And I lived through Bennett Ball, which while it got us a Final Four appearance, also led to the worst basketball ever played. The offense consisted of playing really tough D, and then throwing it around for 34 seconds and hoping you made a 3. Games were routinely in the 40s for like 5 years. The sad thing about Friday is that is wasn't even GOOD Bennett Ball. The Badgers should have lost by 40 because they didn't play good D either. Terrible. This is exactly the kind of game that Bucky plays every five games or so, and loses. Here's my prediction: Bucky will get a 6 seed, take the first round game down to the wire and win, and then lose in round 2. Book it.

I will be back later tonight/early tomorrow with bracket stuff.

"Get Over It!"

UW v. Ohio St.

Big game this afternoon. I believe the only thing on the line is seeding in the NCAAs, but it would be nice to get ANOTHER win over the number one team. And to hear Sullinger make up some other kind of assault when they lose. Like the ref pinched his left nut or something. If Jordan Taylor does anything close to what he did on Thursday, you can start carving his name into the B12 Ten Player of the Year trophy. It will be criminal if he doesn't win it. PREDICTION: OSU 72, UW 62

DUCK FOOK

I don't like Duke. I don't like UNC. But I like UNC better than Duke by default, so I'm happy they beat Duke yesterday. Also, for some reason Duke is already penciled in for a number one seed even though I don't think they are that good. The don't look like a number one seed to me, but someone has to get it I guess. Whatever.

NEXT WEEK

Next week is going to start to get pretty sweet. Big conference tourneys start Thursday, which means that I will have something to put up on my computer at work. I think the Big East's started like two weeks ago because they actually have more teams than the NCAA tournament itself. I LOVE March Madness possibly more than anything.

TWITTER

I joined the 21st century and got a Twitter account. I have not, and don't really plan to actually send a Tweet. If I did, I would go the way of Bear and never blog ever again. I'm convinced. Twitter is actually kind of a nice way to stalk crazy people (Charlie Sheen), Athletes (pretty much only Packers so far), and media people. It saves time sort of incredibly (and not really at all) by allowing you to know whether your favorite writers/bloggers have put up a new article and putting them all in one place without going to multiple sites. I'm sort of hooked.

I Would Absolutely Be Fired If This Occurs

96 Teams.
Games occurring on the following schedule.
Thurs-Fri-Sat-Sun-TUES-WED-Thurs-Fri-Sat-Sun-Sat-Mon.

MY. (Sports Bottle's) GOD.

SIX STRAIGHT DAYS OF NON-STOP HOOPS?!?!?!?

This is the greatest/worst plan ever.

It might be better than the Get Together.

And North Carolina would have gotten in with a 11-23 record!!! (or whatever it was).

Rise and FIIIRRRRE!!!!

OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HAAAA!!!!!!-- Gus Johnson

We've got a white KNUCKLEERRRR!!!!

The baby FACED ASSASSINNNN!!!!

This broadcast is available in HIGH DEFINITIONNNN!!!!

As always, emphasis added by me, to portray screaming.

I love me some Gus Johnson. It was put on a tee for him so perfectly last night. There could not have been two better games for him to call. Had it not been for him screaming, I would have surely fallen asleep around hour 3 of KSU-Xavier last night. That call is going down as one of the best, mostly because the game itself was so great, and because we are going to be watching that one on ESPN Classic for the next 30 years. You've got to appreciate Gus because you really BELIEVE him when he is yelling. You believe that he is as into it as you are (probably more). He obviously loves what he is doing, or he is a helluva actor. There is nothing fake about it. Whatever just happened in the game seems ten times cooler when Gus calls it. A pretty exciting play turns into something that brings a smile to your face when the emotion is added. We are lucky to have someone like Gus calling games, and we should have him around at least another 20 or so years. Lets hope that if CBS loses the tournament, that he goes wherever the tournament does, because it isn't that same without him.

I swear the attraction is completely platonic and that I wouldn't sleep with him (unless he agreed to do the play by play).

I Didn't Shave Today...

It is my day to shave according to my Monday-Wednesday-Friday routine. I look like a fucking wolverine. I didn't shave because I showing my solidarity as a conscientious objector to the tyranny that is a) having to work today (based on my national holiday/sports theory) and b) having to work today because I got 5 hours of sleep because every motherfucking game went to overtime or was won a last second shot with the last minute taking 45 minutes in every game.

Or because I'm just lazy. Either way.

Yesterday was absolutely bananas. It was the least disappointing start to any sporting event in recent memory. Started out 8-0 in my "researched bracket"....and finished 12-4. Fucking Marquette. I'm sort of glad they lost. Thanks for coming Georgetown.

I'm going dark Jack Bauer style at 2 p.m. CST so that I can be up until 1 a.m. watching the games on a slight delay (although I will probably catch up because of lack of commercials at some point). DON'T CONTACT ME!!!

Only upsets I've really got today are Utah St. and Georgia Tech, neither of which are that huge. I also picked Florida St. over Gonzaga for some reason, even though Gonzaga is going to beat Syracuse in round 2. Or Vermont, because some asshole at the Green Bay Press Gazette picked Vermont over Syracuse.

NCAA picks!

I know nobody probably cares at this point, but I figured fuck it, someone had to help break up Juice's stranglehold on posting.

So here we go!

I'll start by saying I have a Final Four pick playing right now. That's right... BYU. Why BYU? Their offensive and defensive efficiency ratings are solid, top 20 for both. They don't turn the ball over, they bomb from behind the arc, my only knock on them is that they haven't played anyone. Wait that's a pretty big knock... Nobody said this was an exact science right?

In the East I have a repeat regional final from 2003 with Kentucky, Marquette and Wisconsin all making the sweet 16. I really wanted to pick the play in game for the Final Four to be between Wisconsin and Marquette, but I just couldn't do it. I have Kentucky coming out of the East, but of course since cheaters always get what they deserve, I'm sure Bucky will end up stomping them. I could easily see Wisconsin or Marquette coming out of this bracket. No love to West Virginia, New Mexico sucks.

Midwest is not a very interesting region, I had a couple small upsets in first round, G Tech and SD State, but after that it gets pretty run of the mill. I really didn't want Kansas to come out of that bracket and into my final, but when you look at the numbers and their record, it's tough not to pick them. Ohio State is a sexy pick if Turner can take over a couple games in a row. Michigan State sucks, Maryland is blah and G'Town has too many flaws to challenge Ohio St or Kansas.

South is also kinda boring, Duke got a fucking cake walk to the Final Four, but I did get to put Utah St and St Mary's in my sweet 16. Nova is an over rated 2, Purdue is a limping 4, Duke and Baylor in my elite eight. I fucking hate Duke and I hate the NCAA bracket deciders for giving them this walk. It's an outrage to be perfectly honest. Bullshit! My only consolation for this is that the Tar Heels missed the tourney this year.

The bottom half of the West bracket is REALLY interesting to me. I have Minnesota winning their first game and I really wanted to pick them to win a second game, but I just couldn't do it. Kansas St is really good and I think it may have been dumb of me to pick BYU over them and then have BYU run to the Final Four, but fuck it, all 1 and 2 seeds is a boring bracket to pick and I already had 3 1 seeds in. Pitt is beatable, Butler is a scary 5 seed I think, Vanderbilt, who did they play?

My Final Four is BYU, Kansas, Duke and Kentucky, my final is Kentucky and Kansas and my champion is Kentucky! Once I got to Elite Eight my bias's took over, they always do!

We've Been Compromised! Abort?

I don't know if I've been unlucky, careless or I'm turning into Michael Jordan of pretending to work "Minor League Baseball Edition", but I've had a few inconveniences lately. Nothing major, but I'm a pretty paranoid guy.


Last Friday, UW was taking on Illinois in the Big Ten tourney. I was sitting at my desk, with the ESPN TV feed playing on my computer, while sort of working, albeit not real efficiently. My monitor is in the perfect location relative to the door to my office, meaning it faces away from the door. So nobody can really tell what is on the screen unless they come around to my side of the desk. Anyway, about half time of the Badger game, one of my bosses (who is a big sports fan, and who knows that I am too) pokes his head in and asks me what the score was. I was a bit flabbergasted. I'm not sure if he knew that I was keeping track and didn't care, but just wanted to know the score. Or if he just assumed? I sort of played dumb like I wasn't watching it on TV and told him "last time I checked the Badgers were down nine....". I hadn't left my desk so I'm positive he didn't know the extent of my slacking. I personally don't think there is anything wrong with monitoring a scoreboard every few minutes, but I'm not the boss either.


When the game was over, he poked his head in again and asked. This time, I was onto his game and told him I don't know. He seemed disappointed and confused by the answer. Then I decided I would be "helpful" and say "Let me check. " And then he came to my side of the desk while I pulled up the box score.

The second incident occurred yesterday. Thursday and Friday of the NCAA tournament are about my two favorite days of the year. In a past life, I would skip class/take off of work to watch all day long. In my current position I can't do that. What I can do, however, is manipulate my schedule so that I don't have any appointments and can be sitting behind my computer between the hours of 11 a.m. and 4 p.m., where I may or may not watch MMOD. So last night (yes, last night) one of my bosses decided to come into my office while I was in there to take a look at our calenders to see if they could pawn some stuff off on me this week. When they reached Thursday and saw 5 hours blocked off with no explanation, the question was "what is this?" I just said, I don't want any appointments. Then, they went to Friday and saw the same thing and said "You don't ever want appointments or what?" So that was awkward. Nothing incriminating, but one of those things that will probably cause the bosses to wonder what I'm doing during those hours. My only saving grace is that this particular boss is not a sports fan, and probably doesn't realize that there is basketball being played during those hours.

The question is: Is there any reason for me to be concerned? I say not because I have been working 60+ hours a week for the last 6 weeks, and I feel I deserve to fuck around for two half days. Thoughts?

DVR ALERT!!! Friday, beginning at 2 p.m. do not attempt to communicate with me in any way unless someone died. I will be going dark and will be watching the last three sessions of the tournament beginning at 6 p.m. as if they were happening live due to Bucky playing at 1:50 p.m. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

ST. PATTY'S DAY: Happy amateur hour! Even though I'm a quarter Irish, I don't need an excuse to get drunk. I prefer Wednesday as an excuse. While getting drunk on green beer is fun, it also brings out the assholes who can't handle their liquor and like to start fights. And it is annoying.

The Dog Days of March

This is the time of year where it starts to really suck working six days a week in an office. But it starts turning around a bit today. Why? Well because it is obviously a national holiday, that's why! My theory that any time a major American sport that doesn't normally play on a weekday afternoon, has a game on a weekday afternoon, nobody should have to work, kicks in today because of the Big East Tournament. Due to the fact that there are 7,543 teams in the Big East, their tournament starts on Tuesday afternoon. It all kicks off at 11 a.m. with South Florida v. De Paul. If you don't think I'm going to casually monitor that game, you are dead wrong.

So in the land of Juice, enjoy your day off America! Also, you have off tomorrow, Thursday and Friday for college hoop action. And a three day week next week with the opening of the NCAA tourney (which has mysteriously caused a block of "No appointments" on my calendar from 11 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Thursday and Friday).

THREE QUICK ASIDES

Last night was one of the most classic episodes of 24 ever. This season has been extremely hit an miss, with a few great episodes and few really, really bad ones. Last night was classic. I hesitate to ruin the best parts for the other person in America that watches the show. But Bauer was great.

To keep on the 24 theme, I watched "Slumdog Millionaire" for the first time the other night. I actually really enjoyed it for some reason. Also, President Hassan on 24 is ruined for me now because he is the host of "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?" in India on the movie. I can't take him seriously anymore.

Also, shout out to my brother for pointing out 1985 Bears v. Packers on NFL Network last night. I enjoyed the shit out of Jim Zorn behind the blocking of Ron Hallstrom handing off to Jessie Clark and passing to Phillip Epps for at least 45 minutes. Also, if the Packers can have legitimate cheerleaders in 1985, why can't we have them now?? Why do we trot out the fatties from UWGB in windpants???

I Beat My Wife

So I finally finished off beating my wife (in our bracket competition) last night. North Carolina (I still hate them) provided the final dagger. This is the second time I've badly beaten my wife (in a bracket) in order to make money, or electronics. She doesn't like it much when I beat her (at a bracket competition). I've pretty much got beating her (in a bracket) down to a science. Although, she isn't very good at preventing me from beating her (in a bracket). Overall, I thoroughly enjoy beating my wife (in a bracket competition).

So what does this all mean? Well, it means that I have an extra $100 to blow when we don't go on our Vegas trip Labor Day weekend. And for all four of you that are reading this and thinking "What a pussy. Why does he have a budget?" (especially since you fucks are going to let me down and we won't end up going anyway). Well dickheads, it is because I'm fucking married. And there is a budget for everything. It is for the best. That is why I had to beat her (at a bracket competition) to get an extra $100 out of her. Twinkie is the only one that could possibly understand.

I Want My Trophy Back

Wow. Holy Fucking Shit. What a game. And I say what a game because I mentally blocked out the first 25 minutes of the game, and pretend it wasn't the worst first half and a quarter of basketball I've ever seen played by people over the age of 12, with penises (I assume). But anyway, that shot that Bohannon had at the end of regulation was the clutchest of clutch, and Hughes then apparently forgot what a choker he has been all year, and thought he was in Austin, Texas last November or something. It looked like they might lose by 30 at one point. The strange thing is that it didn't seem like an upset. I know seedings dictate that it was, but if that game had been played in that fake ass ACC/Big 11 challenge, I would have thought the Badgers should win. Beating Xavier won't seem like an upset either, although that is far from a sure thing. But if we get to the Sweet 16? I gotta say the season is a success, no matter how frustrating.

The excitement was augmented by the Siena-Ohio St. game happening at the same time, and us getting cut ins every four seconds. CBS did their jobs perfectly. That game was actually more exciting that the Badger game to be honest, and even though the seeds were closer, it felt like more of an upset. Especially since 8 seeded Ohio St. basically got a fucking HOME game.

Oh, and by the way, Sports Bottle (and I know you are going to tell me I'm stupid), I want my fucking ACC/Big 11 trophy back. All this bullshit of counting regular season games, and declaring the ACC better is fucking stupid. I've got a scoreboard call for you: BIG TEN 2, ACC zilch. Oh, and BOTH ACC teams were the higher seeds, and BOTH fucked my bracket in the ass (especially goddamn Clemson whom I blacked out and picked in the elite 8 for some reason). And seriously, Cleveland State? Fucking ACC.

OTHER THOUGHTS:

-Gus Johnson's head would've exploded if he had been calling either UW or Siena last night. Raftery's "ONIONS! GARDEN VARIETY!" was pretty good too.

-My bracket may be the worst I've ever picked. Already down FIVE Sweet 16 and two elite 8.

-This tournament is ruining my life. Two days in a row now I've gotten 6 or less hours of sleep because of basketball and then having to get up for work.

-What is going on with the floors at the sites? Some have the generic blue and black, and then some were apparently exempted (Miami, Dayton, I think there were a few others). Is there some kind of rule about how old a floor could be or something? I was hoping to see that multi colored blue/orange/white floor in Boise.

-Fuck Marquette.

Wagering Against Yourself

So today is the big day. It is the day where despite economic concerns, and the fact that if I somehow get caught not working and instead watching live basketball on my computer I would not be able to get another job, I will soldier on, and watch anyway. I'm so excited that I got to work an hour early, so that I can try to sneak out early to try to watch most of tonight's games on my large television set instead of my 16" computer screen.

One fun side note though, out of the blue last night my wife decided she wanted to put a wager on the brackets. A few of you may remember two years ago, and the shiny new PS3 I earned by crushing her in the bracket. She decided she wanted to put an extra $100 of spending money above "budget" for this mythical "Vegas Trip" I and hopefully most of you are potentially planning on Labor Day weekend. (For those who don't know, I am planning to go to Vegas, hopefully not by myself, Labor Day weekend, clear your calendars, more details to come.) My wife is going on a shopping trip with her sister as a "make up call" for my trip. So winner gets to spend an "extra" $100.

The wager itself is meaningless on like a hundred different levels, but here are the highlights: 1) Obviously, neither of us actually gains any money, as we are married and everything is both of ours anyway; and 2) If either of us really felt the need to spend more than this "projected budget", we would just do it anyway (although I'm not sure that booze and strippers would qualify as a "need" in my wife's mind).

The major point of the wager is bragging rights in the household, and my assertion of the one thing that I control in our relationship, knowledge of sports. It is very arguable whether knowledge has anything to do with picking a winning bracket, as we've all heard the secretary winning a bracket based on cute players. But this gives me an opportunity to feel better about myself at least. My wife is no idiot when it comes to sports, although I bet she's watched about five college basketball games and only hears any sports news because she is in the room while SportsCenter is on. She is much more knowledgeable about baseball and NFL. Both of us are hyper-competitive, and it will bring me great joy to crush her dreams of beating me.

Without further ado, here are our final four picks, and other highlights.

HER: Louisville, Pitt...WASHINGTON....GONZAGA in the final four. Louisville/Pitt title game, Louisville winning.

ME: Louisville, Pitt, UNC (shut up Sports Bottle), Missouri final four. Louisville/Pitt title game, Louisville winning.

So we have the same champ and title game, which give me an even bigger than normal advantage, because as we all know, you can fuck up nearly every game, but pick the right champ and still win. I guess anything is possible. But Butler over UNC? That seems pretty unlikely to me. So I guess I'm a big Psycho T fan for two weeks.
Any suggestions on how I should spend that $100?

Productivity? Not So Good.

We all have heard the story about how American companies lose like 12 billion dollars on this Thursday and Friday due to lack of productivity during the NCAA tournament. Well, I'm thinking they forgot to throw Monday and Tuesday into the mix too. Because on Monday, everyone passes out the office pool brackets, and (if gambling were legal) places wagers on their brackets with co-workers. Tuesday, you usually have to finish studying statistics (if you are a stats savant like myself) to find just the right upsets. Then you have to blog about it while you should be working. So I would say that MAYBE Wednesday productivity will be at or around normal this week.

This years sucks because it is the first time since maybe middle school that I haven't found some way to weasel my way out of class (high school we all went into a room in the library that we convinced the librarian to let us set up a TV in. College I just didn't go unless I had a test. Ditto for school following college), or work (I have taken off of every job I've ever had on this Thursday and Friday). I have this job that I haven't yet been at a year, and don't have any vacation yet. And even if I did, we are highly involved in the tax industry, making it extremely unlikely that I will be able to take off this week any year in the near future. All I can say is: Thank fucking (Sports Bottle's)god for NCAA March Madness on Demand. I am going to stealthily pretend to work between 11 and 12 (I will go somewhere to watch during lunch) and from 1 to 5-ish, all while watching LIVE coverage of ALL the games, for FREE. The only bad part is the lack of sound, but whatever. Did I mention MMOD is the greatest invention in the history of the world? Why don't other sports do this? Can you imagine watching every Brewer game at work, and online for free?

IN OTHER BRACKET NEWS:

-TWELVE seed for Bucky? Really? I think what bothers me most is that Michigan got a 10, and we mopped the floor with them twice. But, we got in, and are playing a team that did not face more than 12 seconds of defense all year because they play in the ACC. Should be interesting. I actually don't hate Bucky's chances if they can make a shot or two (although I didn't pick them in my bracket).

-One of my bosses whom I would have entered into a low stakes bracket with if gambling were legal, had NO IDEA how to fill out a bracket, or how the scoring worked. And he is a sports fan. I had to explain that you didn't pick each round individually after they were played, that you in fact picked the WHOLE THING before they were played. He couldn't understand what would happen if all the teams you picked lost right away. I was baffled. Is this a generational thing? This guy is about 10 years older than my dad, but my dad has been filling out brackets with me for like 20 years.

-No high stakes pool with the wife this year. Two years ago I got a PS3 out of a pool with her.

Under Pressure

Dah, Dah, Dah, Dadada, Dah, Dah, Dah, Dadada. --Queen and David Bowie. (And if you don't think I'm listening to this song as I type this, you are crazy)

I have now resolved to just stop worry about whether Creighton is in or not, and to stop pouring over all 6,000 bracket predictions on the web. Because it doesn't fucking matter. I can't control any of it, so why worry. As the great Kyle Whelliston said "Forget it, you're out." And while the Mid-Majority concentrates on discrimination against small schools versus the big ones, he's right. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks other than the committee, so while stress myself out? Why trade endless texts all week with the great Twinkie as we dissect every first round game in the Big Ten tourney. (As I type this, ESPN is saying Creighton is the second to last team in). I'm just going to settle in, watch some halfway decent hoop today, and wait for the results. Then I'm going to bitch and moan about it until the fantasy baseball draft at 10 p.m.

-As an aside, I just want to point out that I came across a 1985 Packers-Bears game on NFL network last night. It was awesome because it was the original broadcast version. Jim fucking Zorn was starting at QB, and missing a wide open Phillip Epps by like ten yards. A pre-aunt raping Mossy Cade was breaking up passes. Mike Ditka was wearing tight ass pants. Forest Gregg looked homeless. The Pack had those weird jerseys with the G on the sleeve.

-In diet news, I bought my wife an Oreo Blizzard Ice Cream cake for her birthday treat. One eighth of the cake has 760 fucking calories. Being on a diet is gay.

-How the fuck did the U.S. get mercy ruled by Puerto Rico? Also, I was one more season of Babe Ruth ball away from starting in right field for the Netherlands.

How Creighton Can Get To The Dance

While loss in the Valley semis was crushing to the Jays, I actually think that being knocked down to the "First Four Out" level 8 days before Selection Sunday could be to their advantage. There is very little likelihood of their tournament resume getting any worse compared to the teams that are still playing. Historically, I would say that more teams are going to play themselves out of a bid this week than are going to play themselves in. Oh there will be a few to come out of nowhere to snatch a bid (see Cleveland St.). But for every 2008 Georgia, there are going to be a half dozen or so complete flops in the power conference tournaments. This year especially, there is a meaty center of the bracket where the 8 to 12 seeds live, and all of them could lay an egg on any given night (see Wisconsin all year). I'm pretty certain that all of the mid-major bids are now spoken for, and the Butler loss was one that really hurt CU. Anyway, here are the teams left to root against (and I realize a large chunk of these teams will get in no matter what, I probably left some out and that I left out Wisconsin):

Big Ten: Minnesota, Michigan, Penn St., Ohio St., Northwestern
Big East: Providence, Notre Dame, West Virginia
Pac 10: Arizona, USC
ACC: Va Tech, Maryland, Boston College, Miami
A-10: Anyone not named Xavier or Dayton
Big 12: Texas, OK St., Texas A&M, Kansas St.
C-USA: Anyone not named Memphis
MWC: BYU, SD St., Utah, New Mexico, UNLV
SEC: Kentucky, Florida, South Carolina and Auburn

If all those teams fall flat (impossible), then what CU has done should be good enough to get them in. And that is why winning 11 out of your last 12 isn't a terrible place to be while everyone else can lose big.

I Guess I Should Post Something

- The NFL free agent situation as it pertains to the Green Bay Packers is getting a bit awkward for me. While all of the other teams are seemingly blowing every nickel they can find, the Packers have had exactly ONE player even come to Green Bay for a visit. Two guys are already off the board that I thought the Packers might be interested in making a run at. And from everything I've read, the Packers didn't even talk to the guys (Haynesworth and Canty). To be fair, I think both guys probably got overpaid, and I don't think the Packers should overpay guys. But their "system" seems to be to wait until anyone I've heard of has been signed by someone else, so they don't have to spend any money. Now, maybe Ted Thompson is some kind of mad scientist genius who has a Moneyball-esque system to evaluate talent. But if that is the case, it hasn't really paid off yet. I am still giving Thompson my trust (prepare for a 10,000 word rebuttal from Richard), but the whole thing is getting a little tiresome. Obviously, we were lacking in talent at alot of places on defense (see d-line), and we switched to a system we probably don't have pieces for, so I would at least like to see a little effort here.

-Shout out to jsonline.com's excellent Free Agent/Packer blog.

-Why all the talk of the Vikings being interested in Jay Cutler? They are already the overwhelming favorites because of the Sage Rosenfels trade. The Vikings can only play one QB, right? Oh wait, Sage Rosenfels fucking sucks.

-Braden Looper is the the DL because he pulled a muscle sneezing. Gagne pulled one trying to shoot himself up. Fielder pulled one walking to first base. Weeks pulled one swinging and missing. Might as well start this train up early.

-March Madness is on-ish. Arch Madness starts tomorrow, and I'm getting the feeling that a win or two by CU will get them an at-large. You might remember about a month ago when I said if they won out, they would get an at-large. Well, they proceeded to win ten straight. Also, I think Bucky is safe, and I think the World Baseball Classic might be a distraction to work for a few weeks.

-Leinie's Classic Amber? Meh. Tastes an awful lot like La Crosse Lager, although I don't believe it is fully krausened. (Ed. note: I have to point out that in the spell check "krausened" came up as "kerosene". I don't think this is a coincidence).

-I've already lost a pound on my diet.

-Work sucks my dick.