Picking Scabs

It is my feeling that the possibility of an NFL lockout affects the city of Green Bay, the State of Wisconsin and fans of the Green Bay Packers more than any other entities on the planet. The Packers are the reason that Green Bay exists in the minds of people around the world. Without the Packers, Green Bay would be nothing but a polluted river and love handles. So yeah, if the NFL stops playing for even one week, it is going to have a major impact on the area. In addition, although the Packers are seemingly conservative with their cash, and have planned ahead for this type of work stoppage, I have to think that not having a ridiculously rich owner with alternate sources of income would eventually harm the Packers more than many other franchises.

The following is my opinion of the whole situation. Although I'm confident I could read the entire CBA without falling asleep, and understand what it says, I'm not a labor attorney. I'm not versed on what happens when there is a lockout, or a strike or the rules in place when unions are involved, etc. I'm just a simple caveman, who enjoys watching 12 to 15 hours of NFL football for 20 or so weeks a year, and is confused by the "technology" and "rules" of your complicated society.

I just want to watch people dressed up in a Green Bay Packer uniform, and I don't give a fuck how this happens. This was a lot easier argument to make in my brain about a month ago, before I got seriously attached for the rest of my life to the group of men who won "us" a 13th World Championship, and before the Championship Belt celebration became a worldwide phenomenon. This is obviously NOT my ideal solution to this issue. My ideal solution would be for them to figure this shit out like yesterday so my Packers can move onto their second, third and fourth straight titles without interruption.

But let us assume that these idiots rape the golden goose and we get to September with no agreement. I just want there to be football games. And I don't really want to have to watch the Omaha Nighthawks (as awesome as that is). I want to watch the Green Bay Packers, and I don't care who is wearing the uniforms. Anyone is better than no one. I don't care if we take the UW-La Crosse Eagles and suit them up as the Packers against some Bears impostors. At the end of the day, if Brett Favre has proven anything, its that I'm a fan of the Green Bay Packers above all else, and the men who are lucky enough to wear the uniform are secondary. These men come and go, often far too quickly, but the Packers franchise continues, and will continue forever.

So if the real players don't want to play, or the owners don't want to let them play, as far as I'm concerned, the league can go on without them. I will root for the Green Bay Packers if ownership decides to put a team on the field. So I guess by default I'm siding with the owners in this bullshit squabble.

Super Bowl - California Edition

Big couple of days in my household, as I had the ultimate pre-party. If you can beat this, I need to hear it.

Super Bowl Sunday got off to a rousing start with the arrival of Logan Jonathan Gonzalez (aka "Wolverine") at 12:43 a.m. Words don't describe the experience, but it is in fact as cool as they say. The Packers winning the game last night was also a huge bonus treat for Angie and I, as it topped off an already magical day.

I can tell you all with absolute certainty that Logan is set for life to become the worlds coolest kid (at least if judged by Packer fans). Not only was he born on the morning of what would turn out to be the latest in the Packers storied history of NFL championships, he was immediately clad in green and gold and wore his Rodgers jersey while watching the game.

Logan was integrated into the Packers family by birth. His mother grew up 18.9 miles west of Lambeau Field, and I am an obsessed Packers fan who flies all over the country to attend multiple games per year (I don't miss a minute of Packer football). Now that he was born literally hours before the Packers won their fourth Super Bowl title, he will forever be known to Packers fans as "the lucky charm."

Since the end of the game I've had countless non-Packer fans tell me how hard they were rooting for our boys to win just because it "felt right" given the arrival of our Super Bowl baby boy. Even a Steelers fan told me she was kind of rooting for us on the inside due to Logan's arrival. So we had that on our side.

Sidebar -Skip to "end sidebar" if only interested in the sports portion of this article (but run the risk of some fun pop culture [albeit family-related] stuff). I try and make my personal stuff interesting for you unlike some ESPNMilwaukee twitter reporters (no need to mention names), but if you only want to read about the game go ahead and skip down to the next bolded section.

I know a lot of people say their kid is the coolest ever, but I'm going to give you a persuasive argument as to why, in this case, it's true. No lip service here, I'll give you evidence even though he's only 1 day old.

First off, Logan was born a Packer fan and his team won the Super Bowl on his birthday. A lot of kids in his class are gonna be pretty jealous about that if you ask me. Think about it, in second grade there will be some sort of show & tell presentation where kids are asked to research what happened on the day they were born. Only Logan can say that HIS team won the Super Bowl FOR HIM on HIS birthday (or at least that's how I'm going sell him on being a Packer fan and keep him from rooting for the Queens or Bears).

Next, I looked up notable February 6th birthdays and the list read like a "who's who" of badasses and insanely successful people. Here are the highlights:

1) Ronald Reagan- Born February 6, 1911.

"The Gipper" was a cowboy who ended the cold war and saved America from mutually assured destruction. He was born exactly 100 years before Logan, and is considered by many to be the greatest American in history. He belongs on Mount Rushmore.

"Cool" factor: 9.5.

2) George Herman "Babe" Ruth - born February 6, 1895.

Pretty much invented the Home Run and tearing the cover off of baseballs. Oh yeah, and he put a hex on the Red Sox that lasted 89 years. Since their fans wear lame hats and had a stupid movie called "Fever Pitch" made about them, the curse thing increases the "cool" factor by .5.

"Cool" factor: 9.0

3) Axl Rose - born February 6, 1962

If Axl weren't such a pussy, and had the nucleus of Guns 'n Roses stayed together for 10 more years, the "cool" factor would be higher on this one. Nevertheless, playing "Sweet Child 'o Mine" on my ipod on Axl & Logan's birthday was pretty cool.

"Cool" factor: 7.0 (adjusted because Axl is kind of a pussy).

4) Bob Marley - February 6, 1945

I've never been a fan of weed's effect on me, but I do appreciate a good reggae tune, and am totally cool with people who love getting high (except you Logan, stay away from drugs. Far away). Thus, the "cool" factor is definitely there for a musician like Marley. Plus, Angie had a smooth delivery, so it was definitely "No Woman No Cry."

However, Logan was born to a set of parents that kind of want to give him everything, and not in a shanty town, so if he takes anything from Marley, take away the fact that the dude was a bad ass who spoke his mind and was an artist with a loyal following many years after his death.

"Cool" factor: 7.0.

5) Aaron Burr - Born February 6, 1756

Former Vice President of the United States best remembered for killing Alexander Hamilton in a famous 1804 duel. While this doesn't sound sexy, anytime you are best remembered for being a participant in a "duel" and you were the dude that lived you get massive cool points from me! I mean, Burr shot Alexander Hamilton and walked away to talk about it.

"Cool" factor: 5.0

6) Tom Brokaw - Born February 6, 1940

I struggled with whether to include Brokaw in this article. On one hand, he doesn't reek of "cool." On the other, he's covered pretty much every important event in world history from Watergate through the Athens Olympics. This guy saw a ton of global conflicts worldwide firsthand. He passes the sniff test.

"Cool" factor: 4.9 (only because he can't be as cool as a guy who won a real "duel").

As for famous people that share Logan's parents birthdates, I was born on June 16. Tupac Shakur and Phil Mickelson share my birthday. There is definitely some "cool" there. Angie was born on September 26. Although doesn't have anybody on the level of Ronald Reagan or Tupac, she does have Linda Hamilton, who portrayed Sarah Connor in Terminator and Terminator 2. Again, there is some definite "cool" there.

I really enjoyed looking up the shared birthdates yesterday. It helped pass the time before Logan arrived. At one point it looked like he was going to be born on February 5, which would have made him the only famous person born on his birthday. He clearly didn't want that and stayed in until Super Bowl Sunday, albeit barely.

So there you have it. Our family of 2 is now a family of 3, and we couldn't be happier. Mom and baby are both doing great, and I've got enough energy to write, so that's a definite positive!

Yes, yesterday was the greatest day of my life. The Packer game certainly didn't hurt either!

Back to the game . . .

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Thank god I had a lot going on yesterday and missed the 12 hours of pre-game. I'd heard enough by Saturday afternoon and wasn't going to change my pregame opinion (packers win a close one fueled by a game-changing play by the defense).

I tuned in right at 3:00 so that I could watch the teams take the field. I love watching players faces before big games with the hope that I can gain some insight into their level of nerves. Hines Ward and Ben looked very nervous, which surprised me since they each have 2 rings and one has a S.B. MVP.

On the other side of the field, Rodgers looked cool as ice, which was good because I've seen him look really nervous in prior big games. It was nice to see him get past all that in time for the biggest game of his life.

I don't think enough can be written about Christina Aguilera. Although it's been covered on this blog already, come on. Epic choke job. Only EVERYONE in America knows the lyrics to the national anthem. Since I was watching it here in the hospital (and not in a bar), I was able to pick up on it right away.

Look, I get it when Metallica is on day 185 of a 200 day tour, has been in 160 cities, is on enough drugs to eviscerate the population of Grenada and they mistakenly say "Arrree YOU READY St. Louis?"while in Memphis, but this is the Super Bowl, it's the ONLY time you'll sing this song this year. Total failure.

The game itself is gonna be a lot of fun to watch the second time through. I'm glad I recorded it, because I legitimately thought I was going to be sick in the fourth quarter, and I'm sure I've forgotten a good portion of the stuff I wanted to write about.

I'm not going to make a big deal out of it because I'll be forever grateful that he helped deliver a Super Bowl title to Green Bay, but I've harped on McCarthy all season about his mismanagement of the playbook with big leads, and I'm not going to stop now. Instead of his usual "run three times into a nine man front" big-lead playcalling, MM decided to keep testing the outside when it wasn't working. This led to 2nd and 3rd and long all day (and really pissed me off). The middle was wide open, and 5 yard passes take off big chunks of time! Please use them.

Nevertheless, the Packers got the big turnover(s) I was hoping for and Ben failed to deliver in the clutch (can't really hang this one on him though, despite the turnovers he had a pretty decent game). Add to that the fact that Rodgers cemented himself as one of if not the best quarterback in the NFL with a well-deserved MVP performance, and I'd say the Packers Super Bowl XLV experience was about all they could have asked for.

After the game was over I had some legitimate tears streaming down my face. Yes, it was the culmination of everything that happened yesterday, but more than that, I feel like us fans have really matured right along with this edition of the Green Bay Packers. Through all the injuries this year and all the bullshit that happened the past 3 years we got through it and are on cloud 9. I hope they keep partying in the streets downtown until Angie and I come back in 3 weeks. If they stop, I'm going to get them started again so I can enjoy it.

Finally, I'm beyond ready to put the Favre drama behind me. Welcome back Brett. It's not just the Super Bowl high either, although it is related. I feel like now that the Packers have won a Super Bowl without Favre it's time to be the gracious victor in the divorce and do everything that we can to bring him back into the fold. He's an important piece of Packer history, and it doesn't feel right rooting for him to fail. It's time to let bygones be bygones . . . after we're done celebrating the XLV victory.

In the next couple weeks I'll give you a column with my thoughts on the NFL labor-situation. Since I'm a management-side labor lawyer by trade, I can hopefully translate some of the posturing that will be going on between now and the March 3 expiration of the current CBA.

As a preview of the labor column, I will tell you all that I am completely confident that the Packers will kick off the 2011 season on time, and ready to defend their title.

In case you missed it, WE WON THE EFFING SUPER BOWL YESTERDAY.

GO PACK GO.

the 4th amendment is dead (long rant)

So, this post is almost 2 months overdue. The reason this post involves sports is because my friend, (let's call him Bert) was home on leave from Iraq and he flew me to Nebraska to watch the Nebraska-Oklahoma football game in November. (10-3 Huskers, great game.) I should explain that Bert is an ex-Marine (works for a private company now) but he suffers from little man's syndrome big time.

Anyways, my flight arrived at 10:30 p.m. on Friday. Checked into hotel around 11 p.m., headed to hotel lobby and visited with Bert, Bert's dad and Bert's uncle. We visited and drank until about 12:30 a.m, which was probably 3 drinks in about an hour (at a bargain price of about 7 bucks a drink). Approximately 12:45 a.m. Bert suggests that we head downtown. I inform him that the bars close in Omaha close at 1 p.m. (which is way too early). However, I wisely offer the alternative of heading across the river to CouncilTUCKY, Iowa, where the bars are open until 2 a.m.

We TAKE A CAB, like responsible adults. We proceed to drink until about 1:45. It was pretty lame, just played pool and bullshitted. There were no shots, no shotgunning beers, no cocaine, etc. It was two, lame old guys bullshitting at a bar. As we were attemping to contact a cab to head to the riverboat casinos, Bert was talking to a girl on the sidewalk. Out of the blue a dude punches Bert right in face/lip, and immediately runs onto one of those party buses, commonly used for bachelorette/soriety parties. Unfortunately, there were at least 6 other guys on the bus waiting for us to do something stupid. A very upset Bert attempted to rush the bus when I grabbed him (b/c I'm a bitch) and held him back to prevent: a) us from getting our asses kicked, and b) us from getting arrested. The only possible reasons he could have had for punching Bert were: a) it was his girl Bert was talking to OR b) he was simply a drunk asshole.

After finally calming Bert down and walking away, I got ahold of a cab to pick us up. Bert, still very upset about his fat lip, proceeded to flag down a law enforcement officer/stormtrooper ("to protect and serve") and attempted to explain how he was unjustly jacked in the face and showed the stormtrooper his cut lip. This lead to her promising to "investigate." She reappeared less than 5 minutes later and told us she a) pulled over the party bus; and b) talked to the guy and he said he didn't do it. She also told us "there is nothing I can do" and "we better get a cab." To which, I politely informed her that we were waiting for one.

Less than two minutes later, Bert (unwisely) flagged down another stormtrooper. This is where the story (finally) gets interesting. This stormtrooper had an immediate attitude. Bert, being an ex-marine politely called him "Sir" to which the stormtrooper replied "It's not sir, it's Sgt. Stuart (his actual name). I can't make this shit up. Sgt. Stuart told us to get out of the street and back onto the sidewalk. I immediately complied. Bert, who has alot of pride, proceeded to argue/try to explain that he was the victim of an assault. Bert was then arrested after asking for Sgt. Stuart's badge number. The entire time, I was leaning against the traffic light post (on the sidewalk) attemping to get Bert to shut the hell up. After Bert was arrested, Sgt. Stuart motioned to his fellow stormtroopers (at least 4 cars showed up to calm this "major riot"), pointed to Twinkie and said "Yeah, him too." At which point I was cuffed and stuffed, something I thought I would never have to endure.

Since I am not learned in the law, I agreed to take a PBT test at the station and gave a sample of .103 (b/c I was trying to prove my innocence). So, after spending 3 hours in the cell, getting photos taken and watching sportscenter several times (at 3:30 a.m.) I was again a free man. The fresh air never tasted so good.
Here were a number of "dousies" (FALSE STATEMENTS) from the police report I received later on:
1) Twinkie was standing in the middle of the street yelling
2) bloodshot watery eyes (the stormtrooper didn't get within 15 feet of me)
3) Twinkie was slurring his speech and continued to yell at the Officer
4) "Twinkie told me he missed his ride home and was going to walk to Omaha"
5) "Twinkie told me he had been drinking alot tonight and that he had just finished picking a fight with some of the people at the bar" (This one really slayed me, since I was the one who STOPPED the fight from happening)
6) Twinkie submitted a sample of .104 (it really pisses me off they couldn't get at least be truthful about the breath sample????) (Does a .104 really sound like I would yell in the middle of the street?)
7) The two subjects nearly avoided being struck by an East bound vehicle (the only vehicles we saw were stormtrooper-mobiles, and they were heading WEST bound.

Anyways, I still hold honest and just law enforcement officers in high regard. However, I just don't think any exist (in Iowa and Eastern Wisconsin).