Gold Medal Juice

A few thoughts on the Olympics so far...

-My vote for the most entertaining winter Olympic sport has to be short track speed skating. It is fucking riveting. At any second, someone can randomly wipe out, taking a bunch of other dudes with him. And watching Apollo Ohno race is fascinating. It seems like he isn't even trying, and then will just pass everyone from the back when he feels like it.

-The women's downhill was awesome too. And it was awesome because three chicks fell in the most horrendous way possible. I am no doctor, but I'm not exactly sure how they didn't die. One of the women fell, was sliding face first at what looked like 50 mph, then hit a bump and went flying in the air about 20 feet, and smashed her head on the hill when she came down, before sliding lifelessly another 500 or so feet. It was unreal. For all the concern about concussions when football players bounce their head off the turf, I bet there are a shitload of downhill skiers that have a hard time dressing themselves when they are 30. I'm too lazy to find the crashes (and I'm sure NBC won't let anyone post them anyplace) but they are riveting and you should check them out.

In the end, Lindsey Vonn won. And she was fucking annoying as shit about it. They had her miked up or something afterwards and you could hear her making some awful noise that I can best describe as moaning, for like 10 minutes afterwards. I imagine it is the same noise you would make if you watched your dog get run over by an 18 wheeler. That, and she has a really, really annoying voice. And her husband (I think) and her were having some kind of intimate moment with the mic between them, and it was 1) awkward and 2) sort of fake and creepy. I hope I never converse with my wife that way. She has every right to be happy and emotional, I would just prefer to watch it on mute from now on.

-Shaun White is unfuckingbelievable. It is too bad there aren't like 10 different half pipe snowboarding events, because he would win 10 gold medals. The event was like watching Michael Jordan play basketball against high schoolers. I don't understand the tricks or snowboarding stuff at all, but it was so blatantly obvious that he was better than everyone else it was insane. And he is both entertaining and seems like a genuinely cool guy.

-Finally, America will never be truly equal until it is no longer bizarre or unusual to see a black speed skater, figure skater or swimmer. Or a white basketball player. Shani Davis is good.

At Least Training Camp Starts Saturday

We just totally jumped into a time machine and stepped back to the mid 1990's last night. I knew it was a bad omen when we had a Pat Listach sighting. Jeff Suppan was Mr. Hyde last night. The entire bullpen was shit. Josh Willingham turned into the Babe Ruth-Barry Bonds-Ted Williams three-some love child (At least I had him in my fantasy lineup!). The sad thing is that we actually hit a little last night for a change, and it didn't matter. I think we are totally and completely fucked. An 8 run loss at home to one of the worst teams of the past decade will do this to a guy.

I am seriously starting to harken back to the times between about 1995 and 2006 when about July 28th, a young man's fancy would turn to analyzing 10-yard outs of dudes in helmets and shorts, and my investment in the Brewers involved looking at the 9-3 loss in the box scores in the morning paper. Of course, I didn't have cable for most of that time, and FSN didn't start showing almost every game until around 2004, and then I didn't even live in Wisconsin, so ignoring the Crew was alot easier. And the Crew was always about 20 games out by this time and there were no expectations because we were a poor team, with a shitty owner that hadn't been to the postseason since 1982.

Alot of that has changed now, so quitting is going to be increasingly difficult. I'm not quite to the point where I am not going to watch nearly every game. But it is going to be alot easier to switch in The Real World knowing that the Crew is probably getting their asses kicked. 4 games out is by no means done. But 4 games out in 4th place makes things alot harder. The Crew needs to win out in this series. And not waste any prospects in a trade. And hope for the best. I am getting fucking pumped for football season.

ASIDES:

Also getting pumped for the drunkest month of my life since 2003 that begins Friday. 2 bachelor parties, one fantasy draft, one Packer preseason game. I might die. And/or get divorced.

Michael Vick is getting jobbed.

Nashville Is Nice This Time Of Year

My brother has demanded that I write a Manny Parra post. So I will sort of. It is about time something has been done, and I'm glad it was done. I continue to be impressed with the attitude management has with non-performance. I can't help but think that Ken Macha has alot to do with this, because obviously the attitude is alot different that when Neddy was managing. I'm convinced Manny would have been given another chance or three to "pitch out of it" under Neddy. I'm curious what is going to happen with the rotation. I guess there are enough off days built in for the next few weeks that we don't need that fifth starter. I would presume McClung will be stuck in there, although I think one or two of the randoms just called up are starters too. I think Manny has the tools to be a really good pitcher, but think his head is fucked up. Hopefully this will fix it because we need a decent lefty starter.

I watched Manny's destruction from the emergency room yesterday. I had been experiencing slurred speech of the non-alcohol variety for about a week, and finally it got so bad that my wife couldn't understand me, and co-workers were giving me strange looks. A call to urgent care told us to get our asses to the hospital. According to the doomsday website that is WebMD, I was certainly on death's door. Having either a stroke or a brain tumor. Luckily is wasn't either one, it was some kind of random malady that should go away with time. The nerves in my face are inflamed, which gives some symptoms of a stroke, but should work itself out. No known cause or cure for this shit, so I have to continue to sound like a moron.

In other news, I am now one of those dickheads with a Blackberry. All in all it is pretty goddamn cool. It isn't quite an iPhone, but as I stated, I'll be damned if I'm paying for less than optimal performance due to lack of a 3G AT&T network in GB, so I'll make due. I'm pretty excited to sit at my wife's grandparents anniversary party and check the Brewer game constantly. Fully expect to see a photo of my dick show up in your inbox.