Live From New York

(This was sent but not posted last Thursday morning)

So a few quick thoughts. Everyone here is batshit crazy. The subway is surprisingly easy to use, and I am going to be run over by one. Went to a "towny" bar, and said bar would be a top 3 bar in Green Bay. At said bar, I had a conversation with some dude who claimed to be JJ Redicks best friend. Also, the person that we know who lives here allegedly smoked weed with Redick. I'm a tad hungover. It is pouring buckets. I'm supposed to go to Yankee stadium today. No umbrella.

PS. Said friend's apartment is 400 square feet and she pays more than my mortgage payment for rent.

CONTINUED

I am thankfully back from New York, and back on this planet. It is amazing how different life is there compared to anything I've ever seen. Even in Milwaukee or the Twin Cities (neither of which I've lived in, but I've spent significant time in both) or Omaha (a largerish city) the lifestyle is at least somewhat comparable to normalcy, only with more cars. In NYC, you don't have a car unless you are a cab driver, a multi-millionaire, or some foreign dipshit that rents one. The subway takes some getting used to, but once you get over the fact that it is the dirtiest thing you will ever touch, it is very convenient, easy and fast. We took that fucker everywhere, and it was $4 total for each trip, instead of $40 in a cab. My other overall impressions of NYC before I get into details of our trip are as follows:

1) Everyone that lives there is solely consumed by their life, and unless they have a reason to be nice to you, they will push your ass into traffic if you get in their way. And by get in their way, I mean not walking at a near jog.

2) Everyone there is homeless or wears a suit.

3) There are no grocery stores. So everyone eats out for every meal.

4) There are no gas stations, so someone has already invented a car to run on baby shit. There is no other explanation.

5) The only grass in Manhattan is in Central Park.

6) Miller Lite is most definitely not the drink of choice, and is actually difficult to find. The hotel we stayed in was selling bottles for TWELVE BUCKS EACH.

7) David Cross's description of walking down the street in New York, and the people you come upon is exactly correct.

Now onto our trip details:

Thursday rained all motherfucking day. And hard. We went to Yankee stadium anyway. It was still raining there. We walked around the entire stadium, and took some pictures. It was pretty nice, but overall, it wasn't anything that would warrant like a billion dollars being spent to build it. Yankee Stadium had two things that made it better than Miller Park: 1) Huge HD video screens and 2) Way better food choices (but not alcohol choices). The food choices there were insane, and truthfully not that ridiculously priced for a sporting event. You name it, you could find it there. Everything from hot dogs and pizza to Chicken Parm and Sushi. And it all looked pretty good. I settled on a gigantic ass cheese steak (with Cheez Whiz of course) and an order of garlic fries. We sat around there about two and a half hours, and when the rain didn't let up, we left. I didn't really give a shit about the actual game anyway. Turned out to be shitty (first game ever there with no HRs) and it didn't start until 6:30. Here is my list of stadiums I've been to games at in order: 1) Miller Park, 2) Yankee Stadium, 3) Kaufman Stadium, 4) Random Little League parks, 4589) County Stadium.

After Yankee Stadium we walked around, saw Rockefeller Center and had dinner at the Hard Rock in Times Square. The strangest thing about Times Square was 1) Everyone screaming at us about going to a comedy show and 2) The random shitty/hillbilly lawn chairs that the city set out in the middle of it for tourists to sit on. It was fucked.

Friday was the only really nice day weather wise, so we did our stuff that would've sucked without an umbrella. Went to Central Park. We went down to the Empire State Building, Ground Zero and Wall St. Wall St. was pretty boring. The view from Empire was cool. Ground Zero wasn't really what I was expecting (it is just a small museum) but it still almost got a little dusty in there. I'm glad we went I guess. On the subway we saw Helen Hunt. Her ass was right next to my face.

Friday night was ridiculous. This is something that you would never know about unless you lived there, but there are restaurants in NYC without liquor licenses, that allow you to bring in your own booze. Our friend didn't tell us where we were going ahead of time. It was a Bangladeshi restaurant, which is every bit as crazy as it sounds. The food was actually pretty good. I would call it a cross between Indian and Chinese. Afterwards, we went to a place called "New York's oldest bar" Mc Sorley's. It is an Irish bar where the drink choices are "Light Beer" or "Dark Beer". The Light Beer was a dark red/brown. You order a beer and they give you two 3/4 full mugs. Allegedly, the bar didn't allow women in until the 60's when the city forced them. In protest they haven't dusted the place since. There is inches of dust hanging off the chandeliers. It is gross/awesome. Almost went to Coyote Ugly but that fell through. Got totally plowed.

Saturday it rained again, didn't do a whole lot. Went shopping on 5th avenue. Fell asleep while walking. Went out for pizza to a place called John's (which is allegedly in the top 5 pizza places in NYC). Went there over some better known places because it didn't require a subway ride (sick of it by then) and the wait was shorter. Best pizza I've ever had. Got some cheesecake from Junior's (best in town) that was fanfuckingtastic.

Sunday we flew home and some random unattractive girl started breast feeding her screaming baby on the plane next to my wife. She didn't really like it much.

So that is all. Great place to visit. Wouldn't want to live there.

The Brewers Should Move All Home Games to Cleveland

Don't have alot of time today. Going on vacation tomorrow, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention the insanity of the 14-12 win last night. I'm going to admit that when it got to 12-7, I shut it off, only to turn back about 30 minutes later to see 13-12. I was more than a little shocked. Who the fuck did Cleveland run out there to pitch? Are they THAT bad? When did Dave Bush decide he was going to go into his annual June swoon? The All-Star break can't get here fast enough for Bushie. That game was like 7 hours long last night. I had both Braun and Fielder on my fantasy team, but my opponent had Choo and DeRosa so we about broke even, which is gay.

I may attempt to send a post or two from NYC. Going to see the Yankees and Nats on Thursday barring the rain storm that is supposed to be there.

No other thoughts other than He is a cockbag, and his interview with Buck proves it. Really? You don't understand why Packer fans would hate you? I'm leaning heavily toward keeping any Viking ticket I may get. I think it will be cathartic. He is referring to the Vikings as "we". Fuck You.

Miami Is Burning!!!

Where to start on last night's game. Well, I think I've found my new least favorite Brewer, and another rekindled my hatred. Both gave me something to bitch about today. Public Enemy number one is Jorge Julio. Wanted for one count of arson for single handedly starting the fire that burned down Joe Robbie Stadium (Landshark is not good), and then making matters worse by dousing his own fire with the gas can he has been carrying around all season. See, I hadn't been able to fully appreciate how much he sucks because he is so bad that he only pitches like once every two weeks. Like one of my bosses said to me today, "Who is that pitcher the Brewers threw out there last night?" And Julio has been on the team all season, which just goes to show how much he sucks. Here was his line last night: 0 IP, 2H, 4 ER, 5 R, 0K, 2 BB, 2HBP. Now THAT is major league quality. We really don't have anyone else in the minors that can do better? I realize he's got a high 90's fastball, but if he can't get anyone out with it, who cares? SportsBottle said he is Derrick Turnbow, which is a pretty apt comparison. Give me anyone that can throw a strike at 90 mph, even if the guy has no future with the organization, that can give me an inning or two of mop up every few weeks. Which is all Julio was ever fit to do. What the fuck was he doing pitching in a 2 run game?? At least Yost isn't still the manager, or you would be guaranteed to see Julio again tonight. Bad decision by Macha, worse pitching by Julio.

Public Enemy number two is Billy Hall, wanted for attempting to fan Julio's flames with the wind from he bat as he managed to swing through ball four, three times in an at bat with nobody out and the bases loaded, even though Miller had just walked two straight on 9 pitches, and then fell behind 3-1. Oh, and Miller is a lefty whom Hall is supposed to murder. I realize Hall has to play on occasion, but fuck. Give me SOMETHING. And by something I don't mean killing an early inning rally by swinging at pitches at your eyes.

"THE HANGOVER"

The first few times I saw the preview for this movie, I thought it looked fucking terrible and stupid. However, I just saw an extended trailer last night, and now that I understand the premise/plot a little better, it looks like it could be spectacular. I thought it was just going to be a goofy getting drunk and doing stupid things movie, which usually doesn't work. But actually, it is the guys waking up hungover and trying to piece together what happened, which we've all done, and could be fucking hilarious. The fat dude carrying around the random baby is great.

NYC TRIP

The wife and I are going to NYC in a few weeks. One of the few relevant things to discuss right now is the fact that I made a deal with Satan and bought New York Yankee tickets last night. I'm surly going to burn in hell for giving Stienbrenner any of my money. At least it was on the secondary market, so the Yankees already have their money. We are going to the June 18th Thursday afternoon game against the Nats. It will in all likely hood be a terrible game, but tickets were only $15 (ask my brother how good the seats are since I bought them), but the main thing is going there I guess. A tour was $20 each, so we might as well save $5 and get murdered rooting against the Yanks. Does anyone have a Nats hat I can borrow? We discussed going to a Mets/Rays game at Citi Field, but a) the tickets were a little more, b) seeing a good game between two teams I don't care about isn't that important and c) for some reason going to a game at Yankee Stadium seems cooler. So it should be pretty fun to get blackout drunk at a new stadium (note: probably won't actually get blackout drunk). This furthers my eventual goal in life to see a game at every MLB and NFL stadium before I die. The count will be 3 MLB (Milwaukee, KC, NYY) and 2 NFL (GB, MIN). So I've got a ways to go. (note: will probably never fucking happen).