Loaf's Top Ten Managers OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!

This is a list of my top ten baseball managers of all time. It has nothing to do with quality, it is simply based on the influence each manager had on my life. Plus, the fact that I like looking at pictures of these strange looking men.*

*I think this sentence sounds funny, but I couldn't make it not sound gay. I think pictures of managers are funny. Sue me!

10. Ozzie Guillen

Just fun to listen to him talk and he did this for me. Percent chance that one day Ozzie becomes bench coach for Ron Gardenhire, or vice versa, 60%?


9. Lou Piniella*

I really liked that 1990 Cincinnati Reds team with Eric Davis, Barry Larkin, Chris Sabo, and the Nasty Boys. Then he managed the Seattle Mariners during the Griffey years. Now he is the senile manager of baseball's sorriest team.

* Number 9 and 10, teamed up to make this.

8. Ned Yost

I just love how he was fired with a week to go in the season, while in the midst of a pennant run. That says a lot. Also, enjoyed that constant grumbling about him from the less fortunate brewers fans.

7. Sparky Anderson

His inclusion on the list has nothing to do with the Big Red Machine. He's the only thing I can remember from the Tigers team that the Twins beat in 1987. I know the Tigers had Jack Morris, but I have no memory of him actually doing anything in 1987. How many cigarettes has this guy smoked in his life? 10 million?

6. Whitey Herzog

The other half of the managers the Twins faced in 1987. God, he loved stolen bases. I don't know why I think he wears Hawaiian shirts in his free time.

5. Tony La Russa

Just been around forever and always has good teams. I think it's safe to say that I have been overexposed to Tony La Russa.* Too much can be a bad thing, ask Tony.

*No one has ever admitted that. I watch too much baseball.

4. Tom Kelly*

He should be higher in this list, but I never actually cared for him. Did win two World Series, but also coached some of the worst teams in baseball history. He loved shitty white guys and has passed this trait down to higher members of this list.

*This picture was the 6th picture when I googled Tom Kelly. I can see the resemblance.

3. Cito Gaston

Terrible manager on awesome teams. Looks funny, never heard him speak before. Took like a 12 year hiatus to come back to a job he was fired from. Doesn't age (at least in my mind). 79th most wins by a manager of all time. Just an interesting man.

2. Dan Alipierto*

My junior varsity baseball coach. He was great. When my regular jv coach was fired for having an affair with a student (true), Mr. Alipierto was summoned from the Mounds View YMCA to coach a rag tag team of misfits in an ultra-competitive Minnesota baseball league. His first act as coach was to eliminate all calistenics and to encourage swearing. He would taunt opposing teams and would hang out afterwards. I found his driver's license on the ground and used it for a fake i.d. when I was 17. Of course, we went undefeated and I had the best baseball season of my life. He was my Ozzie Guillen.

*Interestingly he was recently in the news for a new baseball team that he coaches.

1. Ron Gardenhire

As my life settles down, one thing remains constant. The Minnesota Twins. Right now it's me and Gardy. We will grow old together.

I know too much about his tendencies. I know what he is gonna say in a press conference. I know who he thinks his best middle infielder is. I know he likes to get kicked out of games. I know he thinks the closer only pitches in save situations. I know his players try hard for him. I know he likes intensity and intangibles. I know he's the best manager in Twins history (sigh). I know he can't beat that Yankees. I just don't know why?

Ned Yost Fired

This just in, Ned Yost was given the axe by the Brewers today, Dale Sveum has been promoted to interim manager for the last 12 games, this season is officially fucked and over...

Not that I really like Yost, but I don't think this team can ignore the ramifications of losing their manager in the middle of a meltdown like this, I'll have more later on tonight as I'm currently in the middle of an OMG, the website you made is fucking broken and we have no clue why crisis.

On a side note, Sveum the Human Windmill will no longer be sitting at 3rd, that alone should increase our run production by 1 a game.

The Fat Man and The Old Man

Brett Favre and Prince Fielder. Apparently Brett's gone to Tampa Bay Your New York Jets!, they just got done working out a preliminary trade agreement this afternoon and he's out the door. Well, whatever I'll ignore that for now until something actually gets settled, so many people justifying their sports writer paychecks right now by reporting non stop on just 100% pure speculation bullshit.

On to the fat man. Did I not warn everyone I know at the beginning of this season that he was a fat piece of shit and a cancer? In fact that's his new nickname, Fatty Tumor. Here are some gems from Prince's media announcement today.

I've been playing with Manny since rookie ball. It's not like we hate each other. At least, I don't.

So this dumbass doesn't even know if a guy he's been playing with for over 4 years hates him? I can usually tell if someone hates me when I walk into a room.

No one will reveal the exact details but word has it that Fielder didn't like that Parra was headed to the clubhouse without staying on the bench to watch the top of the inning, especially after just surrendering six runs.

So Parra's upset about giving up six runs in an inning? Give him some fucking breating room. No one questions Prince's fat ass when he swears off meat, or stops paying his taxes, or misses every fucking ground ball that is hit more than 3 feet away from him on either side, much like what happened for a 2 run RBI single in the inning that Parra just gave up six runs.

Fielder said he had yet to sit down and talk with Parra about the altercation but indicated he planned to do so.

Wait, so you are giving a media interview about this altercation and you haven't sat down and talked to your own teammate about it? That's fucked up in my opinion. Take care of your shit internally first, then give the media their story after.

Now for Yost's drug induced coma of an interview.

Asked what would warrant removing a player from the lineup, Yost said, "non-hustle, being late, disrespecting the game in terms of hot dogging, no hustling, those types of things."

Apparently Yost is not a fan of his players not hustling.

"That one thing doesn't hurt his image. It was a mistake on both sides, one that I think both of them regret.

How the fuck was this Manny Parra's mistake? He got fucking shoved to the ground and almost sat on by a 320 pound tumor.

Oh well, none of this surprises me, I don't know if I can hate him anymore than I already did, however this is just one more thing to use in any discussion about why his new nickname is Fatty Tumor and why we should be shopping him for as much as we can get in the next season or two.

Mota

I'd love to say we should cut the son of a bitch right now, but he's due 3.2 mill, at least this is the last year of his contract. Which by the way was a stellar signing by the Mets. 2 years, 5 million, Mota spent 50 games last season on suspension and only had to pitch well for 20 games this year to cash in on a fat 5 spot. I say we make him start tomorrow and pitch him until his arm falls off, that way ned yost will never again be tempted to put him in a game again when we are within 10 runs, down or up.

Kimbo Slice Popped My Cherry

-I had never actually sat and watched a Mixed Martial Arts card until last night. I guess I am probably a late adopter when it comes to this sort of thing, as I know people who pay $49.95 to watch pay per views. Last night, CBS debuted MMA on network television. I figured if CBS picked it up, it must be good, so I tuned in. Much to my delight, CBS tabbed none other than Gus Johnson to do the play by play. Gus Johnson could announce me taking a shit and make it sound like the most exciting thing ever.

It was sort of a strange show. It started showing a bunch of skanks dancing around to some song I've never heard of. Then, when the matches actually started, they shot off fireworks ala WWE, and had Busta Rhymes come out rapping to introduce the first guy. The first two matches ended in first minute KO's. The second guy that got knocked out was some dude that called himself "The New York Badass" and brought out two different skanks with him and he danced around. This left me a bit confused, as it definitely reminded me more of some lame WWE intro than anything else. Although, I suppose there are plenty of flamboyant boxers that do the same thing.

After the first two, the third match featured "Crush" from American Gladiators (the new one) against some freaky looking chick with dreads from Minnesota (I think it is fair to point out that two of the fighters were from Minnesota). Crush beat the shit out of the dreadlocked chick.

Next, there was a really good match for some title or another that got called because a dude got poked in the eye and couldn't see out of it. So I guess it was a no decision.

Finally, in the main event Kimbo Slice's beard fought some English dude with an ear that was all fucked up. Eventually the dudes ear "burst" and was gushing blood everywhere. And even though the English dude nearly beat Kimbo, the breaking of the dude's ear, and three or four ridiculous punches in a row forced the ref to stop the fight.

-In other news, I hoped Big Ben was going to punch Neddy in the face last night when he came out to pull him. I guess Neddy has turned over a new leaf here as he had a bad habit of leaving guys in FAR too long. Although, when Gagne comes back, he should learn to pull him before he loses the game. The Committee is 6-1 (Gagne 11-7)

-That Jay Bruce guy for the Reds is incredible. He is 11 for 19 with a walk-off HR so far. He is taking on legendary proportions. He is on pace for 14,000 Hits and 1253 HRs.

The Bourne Thievery

-Last night on the Brewers telecast, Bill Schroeder, on more than one occasion, referred to Astros OF Michael Bourn as Jason Bourne. I think this shows that Bill has the same 12 year-old brain that is shared by my wife and I who had been making that joke all season.

-Our "leadoff" hitter is 0-7, 3K, HBP in last two games. I'm just sayin'. And I thought it was interesting to note that Weeks leads the league in HBP, and is second in outs. (To be fair he is 9th in runs too, but that probably has to do with the HBP. And Braun hitting behind him.)

-"The Committee" is 5-1. Gagne is 11-7.

-Did anyone see Ted Simmons and Ned Yost screaming at each other in the dugout? I swear Teddy called Neddy a faggot as he was leaving.

-I am about to run 6 miles. It was nice knowing you.

-I am not at all looking forward to the three week media fellatio that is going to be the Lakers-Celtics NBA Finals. I am openly rooting for the Lakers, even though I hate them too. I just can't stand Boston fan.

-Songs for Twins: Brian Bass: "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash-- "Bass. White lines, blowing through my mind."

One Bastard's Illegitimate Thoughts

-Saw that Denise Richards's show on E! last night. Verdict? She is a terrible human being. Most of these stupid "celebreality" shows tend to humanize these "stars", and make them seem like real people. Likable even. Not so with Ms. Richards. Not only was every other word out of her mouth FUCK (which normally I like), but she was one of those snooty bitches that couldn't bring herself to date a "normal" guy. She had to date someone famous. Fucking get over yourself you stupid whore, the only reason you or any of these guys are "famous" is because you a) laid down for the right guy, b)swallowed, c)got lucky or d)had rich parents. Rant over.

-I saw Shelly Smith of ESPN on ESPNEWS a few minutes ago. I am more convinced than ever that she is undergoing a sex change operation. I used to think she was just an unattractive woman, no I'm not so sure. PS. I'm sure she is a fantastic journalist.

-Neddy gave up on batting the pitcher 8th "even though it is working great". Seriously, shut the fuck up.

- Russell Branyan has struck out in 5 of his last 6 at bats. His case for being a better option against righties than Billy is looking dubious.

- Actual quote from my brother during the 8th yesterday after I bitched to him about Yost not taking out Shouse when pitching to Da Meat Hook, and giving up the tying homer: "I actually think he's a switch hitter. Either way, I think Yost saw something shiny in the stands."

-I have completely ignored the Conference finals in the NBA.

-Brewers need to win a minimum of 5 out of 9 on this homestand for me to not drive down to Milwaukee and strangle Yost out of his job. I say only 5 because the teams they play are pretty tough.

Who is Seth McClung?

Rather than rehash the entire game from last night's beautiful Brewer win, I thought I would take the opportunity to meet the 6'6" 270 lb. mountain of a man that is Seth McClung.

But first few observations from last night:

-I'm sure someone intelligent will explain this to me, but why did McClung pitch 1 1/3 innings four days before he was going to start?

-Eric Gagne was Eric Gagne last night.

-Weeks Watch: 2-4, K, HBP!, 2R Season: .200 BA, .665 OPS, 734HBP

-Billy "Rob Deer" Hall Update: 2-3, 0HR, 1K Season: .207BA, 9 HR (second), 47K (1st by 9)

-Good win, Yost is safe for another day. But, As The Wolf would say: "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet."

OK, back to the matter at hand. I think putting in McClung isn't a bad move. Carlos has struggled, and McClung gives the Crew a true power pitcher (has thrown in triple digits). He really has generally been very good so far (1-1, 3.54 ERA, 20K in 20 1/3IP, 1.37 WHIP). I guess they really had nothing to lose. So who is he? A few facts about our new starter:

1) It is fitting that he be called a "mountain man" because he is from West Virginia.

2) He is a ginger kid.

3) Career Stats: 18-26, 5.97 ERA, 1.61WHIP, 207K in 283IP, started 37 times for TB

4) He's 27 years old.

5) He eats small children and shits diamonds.

What I was most intrigued by was his ginger status. I wanted to find out the likelihood of him being any good based solely on his red hair. Very quick research located the following MLB "stars" with red hair: Wade Boggs, Mark McGuire (sort of), Rick Sutcliffe. That's the list that I could find in five minutes. If he is as good as Sutcliffe, I'll take it. Clearly he is destined for the hall of fame.

The irresponsibility of blogging

Today I read a couple interesting blog posts on jsonline.com. It seems that Tom Hardicourt, one of two main guys for the Journal-Sentinel that covers the Brewers, has just regurgitated a giant pile of shit in his blog. This really has nothing to do with my opinion of Yost, right now I'm in the mood of, fire his fucking ass and I would give two shits less, however the manner in which a reporter should conduct himself has been lost on Mr. Hardicourt. I've read some of his mailbags before, he's a very short tempered, condescending person in his response to reader's emails. It would be like giving me a job with JS and saying, meh write whatever you feel like, we're not gonna check shit or edit your work.

So back to the topic at hand, Hardicourt's regurgitated shit. He basically says in this blog posting, that's read by hundreds, probably thousands of Brewers fans within a day or two, that some guy named "Badger Blogger" says Yost just got fired. What? Ok, so even if this guy was a big deal in the world of blogging, he even claims himself that he was unable to confirm what he had just wrote. Why, if you were a reporter for a legitimate newspaper, would you regurgitate that shit onto your papers website? This guy's blog isn't even about sports, it's about politics. Is this what the world of reporting news has come to? In the face of the internet, people are so desperate to be the first one to post that something has happened that they are willing to just toss random quotes from blogging websites into their own articles on the off chance it might be true. Here's a thought, instead of using Mr. Badger Blogger's information, why don't you use your contacts within the team to try and get your own information Hardicourt? I'm sure they're better than Badger Blogger's inside guy that's spewing out information. Maybe write up an insightful article about the topic instead of being that guy that hits reply first on a topic on a message board and just types in "FIRST".

Before anyone comes down on me for regurgitating shit on this blog... I don't have the sources that Tom Hardicourt does, nor is this a job for me like it is for him.

Ladies and Gentelmen, Your Last Place Milwaukee Brewers!

A lot to catch up on as I was drinking myself into a coma over the weekend. I caught the game online on Thursday, the first game of the DH on Saturday and the Sunday game. My first thought while watching the Red Sox series is that is seemed like Milwaukee was playing a different game than Boston. As if we were a AAA team vs. their major leaguers. The level of talent is obscenely different. They are A LOT better than we are, and I guess I'm a bit surprised by that. Truthfully, Braun was the only one that could probably crack that lineup right now. He is on a tear that may be unlike any that any Brewer player has ever been on right now, and the Brewers have very few wins to show for it. The biggest thing with Boston is that every guy in their lineup was a danger to hit one out, regardless of the count. And that ballpark turns routine flyouts into HR's. Milwaukee's pitchers had no answer whatsoever. Very disappointing that we lose a game with our ace on Thursday, then lay an egg over the weekend. And now we are battling Pittsburgh and Cincinnati to hopefully get out of last. I am going to try to look this up at some point today, but I'm willing to bet that there aren't a lot of teams that are in last place on May 19th that end up making the playoffs. I sincerely hope that if the Crew doesn't manage to take 4 of 6 from the Pirates and Nats this weekend that Yost comes back to Milwaukee to find his shit in a box, and the locks changed. There is no excuse right now for them to be as bad as they are, and they clearly need a new voice even if you can excuse all of his decisions. The players have to make plays, obviously, but we don't have anyone to replace the players with, and he is in a gots to go situation. This is no longer about losing close games because the closer sucks (which he does).

-Weeks Watch (4 games): 3-13, 2R, 5BB, 4K, 2CS, 2RBI (Season: .193BA, .654OPS) Fairly poor as usual, but got on base 8 times in four games, not too bad I guess.

-Billy "Rob Deer" Hall: 3-12, 3K, 0 HR (Season: .199 BA, 9HR (2nd on team), 46K (1st on team by 10))

-There is going to be a Mike Cameron update in about two weeks. His honeymoon period is about over.

Gagne, the bullpen and Prince Fielder

I was going to write this as a comment to Juice's blog, but it started to get too long so I said screw it, new post! I hope last night will shut some people the fuck up for a while. Everyone that was screaming for Gagne's head because other people in our bullpen were so much better. Pro tip: They're not. Out of all the guys in our bullpen, no one has any extensive closing experience at all. I will make an exception for Torres here because he probably had a closer role for about a year total, but then I'm going to take that exception back right away because at the beginning of the season he very clearly stated he doesn't want to close. He's not comfortable in that position and feels he'd do much better as a set up guy. Enter Mota, some 34 year old career set up guy. Juice claims he didn't seem mentally tough out there last night. Really? Because with all the closing experience he should be able to tap into that mental toughness whenever he wants.

Mota's not a closer, Torres doesn't want to close, Shouse is a lefty specialist, Stetter is mostly a left specialist(I saw his "mental toughness" in the 9th a few days ago, not impressed), McClung is still on the team? This all leaves us with one POSSIBLE, POTENTIALLY viable pitcher to close other than Gagne. Mr 87 MPH fastball that seems fast because of a funky delivery motion David Riske. Who got hurt last night anyways so toss his name out the window if you were even considering it for a second. We have Gagne, if this season is going to work out, it's going to be with him as the closer, no one else in the bullpen, RIGHT NOW, is going to be any good at closing, unless Turnbow gets struck by lightning down in Nashville, goes brain dead, gets called up and then can still face a batter and throw pitches.

I don't believe Ned is going right back to the committee bullpen though, I think he was just doing something about what I was complaining about yesterday, giving Gagne a rest after he pitched 3 innings in 2 days. Better to give someone else the ball than chance a reliever after consecutive nights and multiple innings pitched. This post was more about bitching at fans that think the committee is better than Gagne, than bitching about the bullpen decisions from last night specifically.

Also, let's continue my Prince Fielder hate indefinitely, you can say what you will about Mota, but a 3 run game in the 9th is a much different situation to work with than a 1 run game and that fat fucker booted another ball today. He's fucking up routine grounders, that is unacceptable for a first baseman, especially one that's supposed to be such a superstar that deserves over 10 million a year. Well if you're getting the money because of your hitting alone Prince, you better start earning it, because right now he looks like an overweight version of Bill Hall, who's got an inflated OBP because of what he "might" do.

I also just read that Braun is about to sign a monster 7 year contract today. I think that pretty much just punched Fielder's ticket out of town. Hopefully he doesn't shit the bed on his way out and we only get 30 cents on this dollar.

Well, There Goes That Theory

Tough one last night. Parra pitches probably the best game of his career. Gives up two of his three runs on a booted easy out at first, a near miss of a diving catch, and an infield single. Then Mota does his best Gagne impression and the Crew loses. That makes "The Committee" 2-1 and Gagne 11-7. I don't know what was up with Mota but he didn't seem mentally tough enough last night for some reason. Here is where I put some blame on Yost: Why no quick hook? When it appeared he didn't have it after the walk and the single, why not bring in McClung or Stetter? Why let Mota give up 3 runs? I know there wasn't really many options left, but when you could win a game, and it is clear that the first guy from your committee isn't working, why leave him there?

Anyways, here is a comparison of Mota and Gagne as I see it:

Mota

Gagne


I don't think that got me anywhere.

The Weeks Watch (Mike Cameron Edition!!!): My man Rickie had a much needed night off, not getting on base is tiring! Season: .190 BA, .651 OPS, 5HR, 13RBI, 7SB. So Mike Cameron (he really is a good center fielder!) stepped into the leadoff role. This makes complete sense to me. We should obviously put whoever has the worst batting average on the team in the leadoff spot. Last night: 0-4, 3K, GIDP, Season Totals: .190BA, .645 OPS. Cameron is actually worse than Weeks. Although, to be fair, Cameron has only been playing about three weeks, so he should be given a little leeway....but NOT be batting leadoff.

Billy "Rob Deer" Hall: 0-4, 3K, 0HR Season: .195 BA, .684 OPS, 9HR (tied for team lead), 43K (leads team by 10)

I refuse to get off of these guys until they consistently bat over .200. I don't think that is a lot to ask of them.

Looking forward to three hours watching red and blue streaks go across my computer screen as I take in the GameCenter from MLB.com while sitting at work doing nothing today. I thought about "live blogging" it but live blogging a game where you can't see or hear what is happening wouldn't be real interesting. Big Ben goes today. Should give the Crew a legit shot.

I may or may not put anything up until Monday morning depending on whether I have time tomorrow or am not dying on Sunday due to Shit in my eye.

Rickie Weeks Hates Eric Gagne

Look. I don't know what Neddy was thinking last night. But I survived the heart attack and vomiting episode I had in the bottom of the 8th/top of 9th to have an opinion. I guess you can be benched and then just say "I'm ready to have my job back.", and it just magically falls into your lap. I plan to lose my job by punching my boss in the face, and then going back the next day and saying I'm ready to go, and get it back. I guess there are no consequences to anyone. No accountability. Especially if you make $10 million a year. So Gagne comes in, fills the bases with runners yet again, but gets the save to go to 11-7 in these situations, while "The Committee" remains 2-0.

The funny thing I took from the game is how my favorite player Weeks nearly cost Gagne another game by screwing up a routine double play. He has done this at least one other time too. Weeks has been very good in the field until the 9th all season. I think it is safe to say that Weeks hates Canadians.

My platonic boyfriend Ryan Braun continues to stay mental at the plate.

Weeks Watch: 1-4, 11 total pitches, 1 R, 1K, 1SB, E (Season Total: .190, .651 OPS, 7 SB)

Billy "Rob Deer" Hall: hit his 9th HR (1-4 and only struck out once!) (I stole that reference from my brother, and I think it is a fairly clever one)

Actual Text I received last night from a police officer friend of mine: "I am going to use excessive force on someone tonight if Gagne blows this" Truly one of Wisconsin's finest.

2 days 'til Shit In My Eye

Someone woke Neddy up from his Five Year Slumber

Apparently, somebody nudged Neddy and let him know that he has a baseball team to manage. At this point, the only obvious thing he is doing that I can't stand is batting Weeks in the leadoff spot. The decision to FINALLY pull Gagne and go with closer by committee is welcomed. I am also incredibly impressed with his decision to yank Torres in the middle of the inning yesterday. It shows that he actually does want to win games, although part of me is curious why he refused to ever do this with his "closer". Whatever, it worked yesterday. I still think Mota is the best candidate, and that Stetter might be a better lefty option than Shouse, but I am actually going to give Yost some slack here. Especially if he is quick with the hook. What I don't want to see is him going lefty on lefty in the ninth all the time if the righty option is pitching well. That tends to get dangerous. My other worry is that we aren't going to have 5 options going into the ninth all the time (especially when anyone but Sheets is pitching). Still, and upgrade over Gagne. I am interested to see how he uses Gagne now. For the rest of the year, I am going to keep a tally on how the Gagne v. Closer By Committee thing works: So far the Crew is 10-7 in games where Gagne comes in to "close" or when the game is tied, etc. and 1-0 with the "committee".

PS. Ryan Braun is starting to remind me of the guy that played 3B for the Brewers last year (minus all the errors of course). Very, very good sign.

Seriously.

A couple of things from yesterday's Brewer abortion.

- They will never be as good as the Cardinals until Yost is gone. La Russa can make the tough decisions like telling his closer of 5 years to have a seat when he isn't performing. Yost can't do that for whatever reason. Also, I don't know what the fuck happened in the 8th inning with Hall. It seems that Kendall missed the sign. Hindsight is 20/20, and if that worked, we would all be talking about what a great move it was. Still, things like this tend to happen way too often with this team, and not just with Kendall.

- Officially, Gagne sucks. Here is what he had to say yesterday, with a typical response from our faithful leader:

"I don't deserve that ninth inning right now. It's pretty simple," Gagne
said.

The beleaguered reliever was slumped in his locker room chair with his
eyes closed for several minutes before putting his hands on his head. After a
clubhouse official asked if he wanted to talk, he told reporters he doesn't need
a "mental break" like Cardinals counterpart Jason Isringhausen asked for on Friday night.

"I don't need breaks. I need to keep going out there. I need results," said Gagne, who has a major league-leading five blown saves along with Isringhausen. "I get myself in a situation, in a jam, every single time I'm out there. You can't pitch like
that."

"I am never nervous in that situation. I love that situation. I have been
blessed with that opportunity a lot since I've been here and have been fortunate
to come through in a lot of the situations I've been in," Ludwick said. "I feel
like that's what baseball is all about -- that situation, being in that moment."

Gagne said his struggles have been embarrassing for him.
"Every time we get a little momentum, I come out there and kill that rally," Gagne said. "It's a matter of going out there and executing your pitches -- not thinking results -- and I'm thinking results. I'm going out there thinking three outs before I
can even get one."

"Closing is an emotional job," Gagne said. "It's a roller coaster. You do
good, you're a hero. You do bad, you're a zero."

Brewers manager Ned Yost refused to pull Gagne from the closer's role immediately after the game.
"I don't sit here and make decisions five minutes after a tough loss. I'll sit and
think," Yost said. "You guys have known me long enough, I take a long time to
analyze things and give everybody the benefit of the doubt and try to make the
right decision."

- The only bright side yesterday was Braun getting 3 hits, including two doubles. Of course he couldn't get a hit with the bases loaded.

Those cocksuckers got me back into it after the big win Friday, looked good (although they still didn't actually drive in any runs) coming back. Only to have Gagne choke on it. They are so frustrating. Oh, and I called it yesterday, didn't I?

Is the Glass half empty?

I had even more time to waste than normal today, so I figured I would use it to participate in my favorite activity as of late: bitching about the Brewers and their current slump.

I made the mistake of heading over to Baseball-Reference.com today (seriously, it is the best site ever, so unless you have like 6 hours to blow, don't do it) and thought it would be interesting to do a study on how good statistically these Brewers "stars" really are compared to others historically at the same point in their careers:

1B: Prince Fielder
- Most Similar By Age: Don Hurst, 1B, Phi.: Career Stats: .298, 115 HR, 610 RBI
-Other Impressive Comparisons at same age: Lou Gehrig, Willie McCovey, Hank Greenberg, Willie Mays, Eddie Murray (all HOF's!!!)
-Impression: Hopefully he ends up better than who ever the fuck Don Hurst is. The other names on that list look good. Too bad it will likely be in another uni.

2B: Rickie Weeks
-Most Similar by Age: Denis Menke, Utility player from 1960's: .250, 101 HR, 606 RBI
-Other Impressive: Dale Svuem (!), Jeff Blauser (!), Shawon Dunston
-Verdict: Pretty much.

SS: J.J. Hardy
-Most Similar: Jim Lefebrve, 2B, LAD: .251, 71 HR, 404 RBI
-Others: Rich Gedman, Jeff Blauser (!), Dave Nilsson (!!!!), Rickie Weeks (!!!!!!!!!!)
-Verdict: They should probably think twice before giving him any money.

3B: Billy Hall
-Most Similar: Kahlil Green (active), Fernando Tatis (historically): .260, 94HR, 327 RBI
-Others: Rich Gedman, Matt Nokes, Miguel Tejada, Gabby Hartnett, Marcus Giles
-Verdict: Mixed bag. Tejada is pretty good, that Hartnett guy was in the HOF I guess. I think his one good year inflates this a little.

LF: Ryan Bruan
-Hasn't played in enough games yet. I think he's got potential to be amazing. Still does things like hit 500 ft pop ups straight up with the bases loaded and one out like last night.

RF: Corey Hart
-Most Similar: Bill Nicholson, OF, 1940's: .268, 235 HR, 948 RBI
-Others: Ivan Calderon, Jim Edmonds, Matt Holliday, David Justice, Tim Salmon
-Verdict: That looks like a pretty solid list. He's worth it, and the only one on the team that hits over .300

P: Yovani Gallardo
-Most Similar: Tom Morgan, 1950's: 67-47, 3.41 ERA, 1.31 WHIP, 64 SV
-Others: Blue Moon Odom, Oyster Burns, Johnny Kucks
-Verdict: I have no fucking idea what that list means. He has only pitched about a half a year, and most pitchers aren't in the league at age 21, so I am dubious.

P: Big Ben
-Most Similar: Reggie Cleveland, 1970's: 105-106, 4.01 ERA, 1.32 WHIP, 25 SV
-Others: Brad Penny, John Lackey, Melido Perez, Pete Harnisch, Daryl Kyle (RIP)
-Verdict: I don't like this list at all. Isn't Reggie Cleveland the guy from Bill Simmon's Reggie Cleveland All-Stars?

This was an absolute waste of time as you can see. Although it was kind of interesting. Clearly Fielder has the best comparables at his age. He was the only one that was that impressive. It doesn't really matter what they do with the roster as long as Neddy has that gigantic collection of naked pictures of Attanasio and Melvin's underage daughters.

State of the Brewers

This weekend was terrible, on a lot of levels for the Crew. The way they are playing has me thinking about what the long term effects on the team might be.

This team is built to win now. Or I should say WAS built to win now, because I think the injury to Gallardo is going to put a big dent in that.

Before I get to my apocalyptic predictions, I would just like to say that Gagne got fucking jobbed by the umps yesterday. I know, I know, we got a call earlier, all the bad calls balance out, blah, blah, blah. The bottom line is, Gagne threw 35 pitches yesterday, 18 of which were called strikes, 17 balls. At least 6 of those balls were changeups right down that middle that were strikes. You give a major league hitter an extra ball in an at bat, and they are going to make you pay. Was Gagne good yesterday? Obviously not, but he wasn't helped in any way shape or form by the shitty job at home plate, and it just might have cost them the game.

Now, onto my scorched earth theory:

Manager: I'm not sure if this is the manager or not. But if this team is so good, and so talented, why does it seem like they can never do any of the little things right. They aren't going to cut everyone on the team, so someone has to be blamed at some point, and that falls on Neddy. The powers that be hired Ted Simmons for the sole purpose to put pressure on Neddy, and it obviously hasn't worked. At some point, if things don't change in a hurry, the Brewers will have to rid themselves of their Yost infection.

Closer: Part of me doesn't think Gagne is as bad as everyone thinks. But, he's not doing the job he needs to. They aren't hitting well enough to not need a closer that is reliable, and Gagne probably isn't it. He has 9 saves, and 5 blown saves, which is far too many. He just seems to have awful luck. He doesn't really melt down per se, but he does just enough to give the other team a chance, which they can't afford. We need to give Mota a crack I think.

Bully: As a whole, the bully has been pretty solid (save for Tunrblow who is gone). Problem is, they have to pitch 4 innings every day that Sheets doesn't pitch. They are improved in this area.

Starters: Here is where things get interesting. I fear that this Gallardo injury could cause them to blow the whole thing up. The way I see it, one of two things are going to happen. a) They play pretty well, stay in the race, and make a move somewhere to get a decent starter; or b) They suck, trade Sheets for $.50 on the dollar. I think b) is more likely. What is the right answer here? If Sheets stays healthy, he will cost the Brewers way more than they can afford in free agency. But if they don't spend the money, I don't think they have the pitching in the long term to get to the playoffs next year. When healthy, he is a top 5 pitcher. But he has been extremely unreliable. If we suck and trade him away, we might never make the playoffs.

This is that never ending question in baseball, and that fine line that teams must tread: Do we blow all of our money and hope for the best? (Yankees/Red Sox) or Do we stay conservative, develop from within, and let our best players go when they hit their big payday? (Twins). I sincerely hope they don't go the way of the Twins before they even have the chance of getting their hearts ripped out in the first round like 5 times in 10 years (cheap Twins blast), but I have no hope that will actually happen. The worst case scenario here is: Sheets wins (or comes close to) winning the Cy Young, we lose the division by 5 games, lose Sheets in free agency, but probably should have traded him because we were never really in the race.

Hitting: Maybe we aren't as talented as I (and everyone else) thinks. Right now Braun, Fielder and Hart are the only players I trust at all to come through in the clutch, and even they are a little more inconsistent than I would like. It is too early with Cameron, and Kendall is fairly light hitting and slow, although he has been serviceable. The problem is that Weeks, Hardy and Hall have been fucking terrible. If there is one out and a guy on first, and one of those three are up, you might as well change the channel, because a double play is coming. It is a virtual guarantee. Hardy leads the league in 500 foot high infield pop ups, Weeks leads the league in strikeouts looking. So maybe those three aren't that good. Maybe they aren't the answer. Because they are killing them right now, and they always seem to find a way to kill a rally. Perhaps the answer is to trade one of them for a starting pitcher. Weeks is like a .220 career hitter and he is in the leadoff spot (which goes back to Neddy). On paper, we should be one of the most talented and feared hitting teams in the league, but in reality, if we aren't hitting home runs, we aren't winning many games.

Verdict: I have serious doubts about our long term chances with: Yost, Gagne, and the Hall/Hardy/Weeks triumvirate being so prominently involved.

Brewers v. Cubs Series Preview

I don't normally like to do this, but Brewers/Cubs holds special significance in that I want to punch random people on the streets in the face when I see they are wearing Cubs gear. It frustrates me to no end that there are so many bandwagon fucking Cubs fans in Wisconsin, and nobody can give me a good reason for it.

Wrigley is also a pile of shit. There. I said it.

GAME 1: Sheets v. Marquis: The return of Sheets from the DL and Cameron from the SL (steroids list). Sheets has been ridiculous this year (0.97 ERA) and I don't see any reason the Crew shouldn't win when he pitches.

GAME 2: Soup v. Dempster: No way the Brewers sweep (in fact I would be thrilled with 2 of 3), so Cubs win this one.

GAME 3: Yo v. Hill: Gallardo has been more ridiculous than Sheets in his two starts (0.64 ERA). He is probably nearly as good as Sheets when both are on their game.

There it is, Crew takes 2 of 3. Place your bets now. (Note: This only applies if my plot to kidnap Yost and replace him with a blowup doll succeeds.)

How Ned Yost chooses his lineup for games...

I pulled this little tidbit directly from the Yahoo Sports news and notes about Bill Hall.

"3B Bill Hall was out of the starting lineup Sunday despite collecting five hits in the previous two games. Manager Ned Yost wanted to give either Hall or 2B Rickie Weeks the day off to let INF Craig Counsell see some action. Yost put the names of Hall and Weeks in a baseball cap and had Hall pick to see who would be out of the lineup. Hall picked his own name, and thus had to sit."

I haven't been too bad of a Yost basher in the past, I've questioned some of his decisions, especially concerning how he manages our starting pitching. The frightening part of this whole scenario is that I'm not even really surprised that this is how he made his decision. Instead of going through his lineup and making a rational decision based on recent stats, who they were going up against and who needed a day off, he just chose to randomly pick a name out of a hat.

Maybe this wasn't the worst way to handle the situation, basically taking away some of the potential backlash from the players who might have to miss a start. At some point however, you are the manager and they are the players, if a player is struggling on the field, shouldn't they understand if they have to sit a day because of it? I wonder how Yost decided which starting pitcher he was going to option down to Nashville, arm wrestling tournament between Manny Parra, Carlos Villanueva, and Dave Bush?

Maybe instead of having his throwing mechanics mucked around with during spring training, Yost should have been having Bush practice his arm wrestling technique to keep his spot in the rotation.