Family Night and Draft Countdown and Rambling Incoherentness

6 glorious days until OJSFA draft weekend begins! I may do a full preview later, but here is a short one:

-Drinking
-Video Games
-Lots and lots of fake (?) gayness
-Extreme inappropriateness at all times
-Questionable draft picks
-More Drinking
-Hangover

I've been bad about posting anything on here, because quite frankly, there isn't anything going on. The Brewers make me physically ill (can't wait for Brewers/Cubs on September 11th!!!), and there is nothing on television. Except for Friday Night Lights, which really deserves its own post, but I'm going to just start talking about it now.

FNL

Awesome, albeit short season. I hope it comes back. The ending this season was extremely predictable, but ultimately satisfying. I got goosebumps, not going to lie. Although I've never seen a high schooler make a 46 yard field goal, it is more realistic than a 15 yard pass that travels 75 yards in the air, and is caught by an offensive lineman or something. Anyone who doesn't watch this show is stupid. There I said it.

BUT I DIGRESS

Back to the point, now that football is upon us, I've finally got something to write about. Tonight is Family Night at Lambeau. It is just an open practice that they televise, and charge people $10 for. 70,000 people show up and get drunk on a hot summer night. Truthfully, it is pretty boring to watch. With that said, I will probably watch some of it. Football is football, even if it involves the quarterback wearing a red jersey. Not really much to preview. I predict Rodgers throws a bunch of TD passes and Todd Rundgren gets played alot. Oh, and I bet the Packers win. I'm looking forward to seeing some of the rookies play (practice). I've heard Mike Neal looks like Arnold Schwartzenagger (sp) circa the mid 80's (all natural I'm sure). I've heard undrafted FA RB Quinn Porter has been awesome. And Morgan Burnett is going to be starting, so I look forward to seeing him. I remember about 20 years ago, this thing used to be free, and took place in the afternoon. At that time it was basically the only chance I got to get into Lambeau every year, so my dad would take my brother and I. Then we would realize that it was 110 degrees, and we had no money for anything cool to drink so we would leave. I would not pay $10 for this.

MORE RAMBLING

-I'm glad the Packers extended DD. He is still really good, and he deserves it. Has shown no signs of slowing down.

-I had two Blueberry Ales from Fox River Brewing Company last night, with fresh blueberries floating in it. Delicious.

-He Who Shall Not Named and Chilly think I'm really, really stupid.

FNL Spoiler and Jody Gerut

First off, it had been so long since Friday Night Lights had been on TV, that I completely forgot what was happening. FNL went ahead and picked another sports movie cliche (after the Star QB gets paralyzed, racism, steroid use) by re-starting a dormant football program in the same city called "East Dillon" and making them into a rag tag bunch of losers, who, inevitably, are going to beat the rich/talented/evil doing Dillon Panthers. I rolled my eyes when I saw Coach Taylor's new team go out in mismatching jerseys on a dirt field, with only 18 players (one of which is the classic wrong side of the tracks, never played football, but can run a 4.2 40 from the police). But you know what? They pulled it off. It was a solid first episode. Plus they added another jailbait high school chick whose drunk/whore mother banged Riggins, and who has replaced Tyra. If you haven't seen the show, go rent the first two seasons, and start DVRing the new one. It is a great fucking show. Also, be aware that I've clearly been tricked into watching a teeney-drama/soap opera, because they threw in a bunch of football stuff and pretty colors.

JODY GERUT

What? Look, I never thought Jody Gerut was terrible per se. More, not very good. And then he hit for the cycle. Of course, I missed it. Does anyone know if Jody is the first person with a female name to hit for the cycle? I demand answers.

And the Crew is all set to go ahead and get shut out today because they scored 17 runs again last night. Can we trade for Bill Hall today just so he can hit a homer with his pink bat?

Are the Crew approaching some kind of record? That is 17 or more runs for the THIRD time already. If we could just get like 6 runs a game, we would be really, really good.

THE WEEK AHEAD

Drinking season officially kicks off on Friday, May 14th, with Syttnde Mai. More to come.

Thundersnow, FNL and the Queens

Thought I should throw up a post about a few things I've heard/thought/saw in the past few days between my 12 hours shifts as a desk jockey.

- I drove through the worst snowstorm in my entire life on Thursday. I grew up in Wisconsin, lived here all my life except for the three years that I lived in Omaha and made routine drives across Iowa in the middle of blizzards. I went to college in La Crosse, and drove across Wisconsin to my parent's house near Green Bay in the middle of blizzards. So I've driven in the snow A LOT. But this storm was unreal on Thursday. It was so fast and so intense that you could not see the road you were driving on at all. It was just white nothingness in the country, and you just had to aim where you thought the road was and hoped you made it. There were drifts more than two feet high, and had I not decided to take my wife's truck, I would have never made it. Oh, and there was fucking THUNDER AND LIGHTNING. It was insane.

- Friday Night Lights is getting more and more ridiculous. J.D. McCoy's dad is going to murder his son because he cares for him so much. He is like Todd Marinovich's dad. That lesbian in Landry's band is smoking hot. Street cannot just decide to take his high school diploma, his wheel chair, and his high school success as a QB (except for the whole getting crippled thing) and just decide to become a sports agent. It is a lot harder than that dude. It is sort of the equivalent of deciding you are going to be an accomplished author because you write on a shitty blog that three people read. You need to have connections, and probably a college degree. I don't know why that pissed me off.

-I heard our friend Doug Gottlieb on ESPN Radio the other night (and I say "friend" because he once called Brian Butch a pile of shit, and he is no longer welcomed in the state of Wisconsin) talking about the Viqueens trade for Sage Rosenfels and how it now makes them a Super Bowl contender. Really? How is Sage fucking Rosenfels any better than the dudes they already have? How many Pro Bowls or Super Bowls has Sage fucking Rosenfels been to? How many playoff caliber teams has he started for? I'll save you the research and let you know the following: 7 years in the NFL, 2 teams (Miami, Houston), 32 games played, 7 starts, 4-3 record, 30 TD, 29 INT, started one year in college where he threw 8 TD passes and 12 INTs. So I guess I should backtrack, apologize, and admit that the Vikings are now clearly the prohibitive favorites in the NFL. Start planning the parade.

Worthless, Uninformed and Biased Thoughts

-It is snowing like fucking crazy, and one of my asshole neighbors is outside shoveling it, as it piles up behind him.

-The Jays are currently down 11-3 to Witchita St., who isn't very good.

-Went to dinner last night and I see one of my neighbors, she says hi, then a dude who I think is her husband is walking behind her and I say hi, and he looks at me like I'm retarded. Turns out it was my neighbor's twin brother.

-I built a shelf in the basement today. I give it a week before it falls over.

-I wish I could hire Gus Johnson to announce my bedroom performance. How much do you think he charges for 30 seconds?

-Wow. The UCLA cheerleaders are hot.

-I bet Sports Bottle is being a bitch and is hung over and not drinking right now. Worm is sleeping. Spensley is blacked out drunk, and is either wandering around by himself, or is in jail.

-I signed Kobe as a free agent on NBA 2k9 to the Bucks.

-Kinda surprised Chucky got shitcanned in Tampa. The Glazer family better watch the fuck out. Chucky never dies!

-Clemson starts out 17-0 every year, then goes 2-13 the rest of the year and goes to the NIT.

TV REVIEWS:

-24: rad. The biggest problem I am having is with Jenine Garraffalo (and I'm quite sure I didn't spell it right, but I don't give a fuck). I can't take her seriously. She is a terrible actress. When is President David Palmer coming back from the dead? He is about the only one that hasn't. He is the biggest badass is TV presidential history.

-FNL: pretty good first episode. I was positive that Lila was a senior last year, but I guess 25 year old seniors are plausible. I guess it is also plausible that Buddy Garrity is trying to get a fucking HD jumbotron built at a high school field in bum-fuck Texas. Or that a high school freshman could possibly be better than a high school senior, who was last year's starter. Best line of the week: "You are a rebound guy from Jesus."

-The Office: great as usual. Line of the week: "Guys fight over me all the time. Usually it is over who gets to hold the camcorder."

BOOK REVIEW:

-"Men With Balls" by Drew Magery. Pretty funny book. Written as a handbook to prospective pro athletes. I would recommend it.

-I am starting to read "Downtown Owl" by Chuck Klosterman. This is his first fiction book. His other ones are spectacular.

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME PICKS:

Last Week: 1-3

Playoffs: 4-4

Season: 132-125-7

This Week: Ariz (+3 1/2), Pit (-6)

Witch's Titty

It is frigid as fuck outside right now. -17 degrees (not counting the wind chill). I realize that 90% of the people reading this (at least) are dealing with similar problems. It is getting to the point where my vehicle is being adversely affected even after it has been driven for 30 minutes. You want to know what else is cold? The fucking Wisconsin Badgers. That shit last night was an abomination on so many levels. The blueprint to beat Bucky was laid out last night: 1) use a trapping, full court press, 2) make circus shots for 15 straight minutes, 3) force the Badgers to shoot under 25%. Do all that and you can beat the Badgers in Madison. I really, really like Bo Ryan, and kills me to say what I'm about to say. I think he SUCKS at adjusting during the game. He relys on his "system", and thinks that if the Badgers just look down and run their swing, that eventually the other team will get frustrated and make mistakes. And it usually works. It worked for most of the game last night too. But sometimes you have to adjust your game a bit. Like when the other team is trapping your point guard full court. I'm no coach, but I've watched/played enough basketball to understand that the way to break a press is not to let your point guard get trapped 25 feet from mid court, and have the other 4 guys stand underneath the basket waiting for him to dribble by and start the offense. Fucking pass the ball before you get trapped, if they over pursue, beat them deep, it isn't fucking rocket science. We were able to break a press in 6th grade, with the worst team on planet earth. Fuck! That wasn't the only reason they lost. The other was that once they broke a press, their inability to not have every layup/dunk blocked in the last 5 minutes (at least 5 of them). Or when they could run offense, passing it around for 30 seconds, and then have Hughes try a driving layup through 4 defenders, or a contested 3. On top of that, the Goophs were possessed on offense, making every backwards layup they threw up, and every 3 they needed to make in the last minute. It was really a perfectly shitty storm, but that press break is not excusable. Minnesota is far more talented, but Wisconsin is a better "team". If UW doesn't figure this kind of stuff out, Michigan St. will win by 40 if they trap. This is the kind of loss that could completely destroy thier season, when they look back two months from now and are 5-10 in the Big Ten.

Wow, that was a long paragraph.

Friday Night Lights is BACK tonight!