Friday, November 28, 2008

Black Friday, Blackout Saturday

So I'm coming live to you from an office in a small town near Green Bay, WI. I'm at work. This is on a top 5 list of last places on Earth I want to be right about now.

Dragging myself out of bed at 5:00 a.m. is never easy. But after ingesting 11,800 calories the day before, it is even more difficult. So I need to sit at work while the rest of the world either gets into a fistfight over whatever the newest Elmo toy is, sleeps off a hangover, or gets drunk.

The thing is, I had a crapload of work to do today, and probably needed to come in, but that isn't the point. The point is that there is more than one televised sporting even on in the middle of the afternoon today.

If I were President Obama, the fourth thing I would institute as law (right after the legalization of marijuana, the lowering of the age of consent to 16 and forcing the NCAA to adopt Juicelaw's Dream D-I NCAA Football Get Together) would be to make it mandatory for employers to give their employees paid time off any time there is a televised major sporting event on before 5 p.m. on a weekday. Of course, this would have to exclude baseball (except playoffs and College World Series) and golf (except majors). Otherwise, this wouldn't be that hard to put in place, and would make very few additional days off. One example would be today when there are numerous college basketball and football games on. Others I can think of would be most days between Christmas and New Year's (although if JDDNFGT was the rule, there would be no bowl games on these days) and 1st round of NCAA basketball (which I used to, and hope to in the future, take off for anyway). Those would be the biggies. It just seems fair.

As an aside, Best Buy was PACKED at 6:05 a.m. CST this morning.

But the next few days aren't a total loss. Saturday, at approximately 4:00 p.m., I am going to commence drinking myself into a coma in preparation for Packers/Panthers on Sunday. Either that, or mourning Richard's death (depending on whether he brings up OJSFA vetoes or He). Regardless, Sports Bottle is showing up around 9 p.m., and then it will be really on like Donkey Kong. I imagine we will head down to the stadium district, listen to the hair metal/stadium rock/wedding music, and point and laugh at all the white trash and old people trying to grind up on the random group of hot chicks that is there for the bachelorette or birthday party (this never fails).

I am considering finding a sports bar nearby my house that can get the CU-Nebraska tilt, and watch while waiting for Sports Bottle. But I'm not sure that a)there is one, b)Richard will give a shit or c) Sports Bottle wants to go through the hassle of meeting somewhere.

No matter what happens, it is likely going to be memorable, because Richard never goes anywhere without his girlfriend and doesn't do something ridiculous. This time I bet I'm stopping at Shopko to buy him boxers on the way to the game Sunday morning because he had the pair he was wearing to the bars stolen Saturday night, and shit in the other pair he brought along.

Sunday is going to come early.

Monday is too.


Ricky said...

I am coming to you from an Office in a large town in the Twin Cities. I am about 1 of 10 people at the Best Buy corporate office. To put that in perspective, we employ about 5,000 people.

My goal is to talk as little about Brett Lorenzo Favre as possible. I know that the three of us will not agree, so nothing good can really come out of the subject. I am not sure about the veto rule. People may agree with me, but I dont think anyone will ever admit it.

I will make sure to bring extra boxers.

The Sports Bottle said...

i am coming to you from my living room and hour before i grind out 8 rough n tough hours in a squad car.

i will have no problem meeting somewhere on saturday. i prefer not to get plowed tomorrow night. good luck with that.

you're almost right ricky. you are right we won't agree about He. and i almost agree w/ you about the veto but in the end i don't care one way or another.

Ricky said...

I believe that David has already made up our mind for Saturday. The decision is out of our hands.

Juicelaw said...

Yeah dude, you are getting SUPER plowed on Saturday. Then we are going to get up and be on our way to the game by 9. Then you can get plowed again. I prolly won't drink much on Sunday.

Also coming: Mark and his soon to be wife, my brother, and whatever douche he brings along.