Full Blown

So either I caught full blown AIDS at the Packer game this weekend, or I just got a really bad cold, and I'm too damn old to drink as much as I did. Either way, I feel a little under the weather on Wednesday night. On the bright side, I'm sitting back watching Creighton take on Illinois St. on ESPN3 in all of its non-HD glory.

FUCK THE VIQUEENS

You are a useless franchise. Truly. I need you to beat the Giants. The roof caves in on your shitty "stadium" and you get killed. I need you to beat the Bears. The roof continues to cave in, 13,000 fans show up (clearly an outdoor stadium is wanted) and you get killed. I need you to LOSE to the Eagles, and you win. I fucking hate you. Now if the Pack is able to replicate what happened last weekend, we get the honor of facing the Philidelphia Eagles and thier dog murdering QB.

RIVALRY GAME

Is the Packers-Bears rivalry as good right now as it has been historically? Probably not. But could it get there? I think Sunday is going to go a long way towards finding that out. How much do the Bears hate the Packers? Will Lovie play his most valuable players in a game that is probably pointless to them (unless somehow Atlanta loses vs Carolina AND the Saints lose vs the Bucs) just to try to keep the Pack out? Personally, I think this is a game the Pack wins regardless unless Hurricane Ditka shows up. Even if Lovie plays everyone, you gotta think they are going to be looking forward to thier week off in Cabo, and to not hurting themselves. I'm a little worried that we will have a special teams meltdown, since it will be 14 days since the last time Shawn Slocum's crew lost a game for us ( a season long!!), but otherwise, the Packers have played extremely well the last two weeks.

"PRO" BOWL

It is pretty hard to get too worked up about this sham of a game, especially since the guys I'm about to bitch about not getting selected, or getting selected will inevitably back out anyway leaving A.J. Hawk as the starting MLB for the NFC, and Jarret Bush as a starting safety.

Tramon Williams is a Pro Bowler. D'Angelo Hall had like 5 of his 6 INTs in ONE GAME against Jay Cutler, and played on one of the worst defenses in the NFL. He is not a Pro Bowler. Woodson might be, even in a down year, because he is awesome in many aspects of defense (tackling, blitzing). However, he is not as good as Williams right now. Or at least he isn't better.

I don't know how you name a left tackle for Pro Bowl, but Clifton has gotten beaten like a drum on a lot of occasions this year. He's had a great career, so if this is a career achievement award, then fine, but he is not all-star caliber.

In conclusion, I would like to make to final points:

1) I made the above conclusions based on watching 15 Packer games and parts of whatever was shown on my television.

2) None of the Packers will be playing in the Pro Bowl because of the Super Bowl the next week...

HOLIDAYS

For the fourth straight year, I would like to continue my crusade to give every American the day off of work when there is a sporting event not normally played during a weekday, played on a weekday. Like today. I missed the Armed Forces, or Bell Helicopter or Turdburgler.com Bowl today while I worked. Bullshit. C'mon Tea Party. Do something for fucking me!

(Sports Bottle's) God Hates the Packers

BAD JUJU

So it sounds entirely possible that going into to their "home game" at TCF Bank Stadium against the Bears, the Viqueens will be starting not He Who Shall Not Be Named, not Traveiououeys Jackson, but Joe fucking Webb. Seriously, what did the Packers organization do to piss off (Sports Bottle's) God? Why does (Sports Bottle's) God love the Bears? Off the top of my head, this is at least the THIRD must lose game that they have played against a 3rd string QB (Panthers, Dolphins, Vikings). The chances of this happening are absolutely astronomical. Fuck. Me. I wanted to play the Bears two weeks in a row anyway (assuming we actually beat the Giants and Bears and possibly the Pats).

ARE THE PHILLIES THE MIAMI HEAT OF THE NATIONAL LEAGUE

The Yanks and Sox are obviously the Heat of the AL. No argument there. But why is Cliff Lee getting blown by everyone and their brother for taking less money (kind of) to play for the Phillies? Isn't going into a rotation with the best pitcher in baseball Roy Halladay, and two other top 2 starters in Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels, JUST LIKE Le Bron signing on to play with Wade and Bosh? Will everyone get pissed if Halladay, Lee and Oswalt have a pep rally with hip hop music and fake smoke? Wanna know why nobody cares except Yankee fans? 1) Cliff Lee didn't announce his decision on national TV; 2) He didn't stab a long time franchise in the back; 3) the media is racist. So there you go. Le Bron was right.