Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Weekly Sports Illustrated Review

This is a bit late since I actually have the following SI sitting right next to me, but, due to the holidays and a horrible fucking Packer game I attended, this is my first chance to browse my favorite magazine.
The cover isn't too promising. I do like the idea of possible BCS bashing but I'm not really looking forward to articles about a linebacker's thought process or a football formation that's making a comeback.
Turkey of the Year award - got to to vote. Candidates include Roger Clemens, Ocho Cinco and Rich Rodriguez. My vote is for Clemens. What a fucking weasel he is.
Joe Montana apparently has a son who's a great high school QB. Imagine that.
Article about CC's fat ass. No, seriously, an article about Sabathia's fat ass and a disgusting cartoon drawing of him in a speedo-type thing.
SI Players Poll - Which NFL team has the league's best playing surface? Cardinals come in #1 (16%). For those Packer fans, Lambeau came in 8th with 5.2%. After Qwest Field (Seahawks), Lambeau got the most support of any stadium that's neither in a warm weather site nor domed.
Former Packer great Bob Jeter died of a heart attack at age 71. (Moment of silence please)
Pop Culture Grid - four people I've actually heard of (Troy Polamalu, Jake Delhomme, Brock Lesnar, Dwight Howard).
Faces in the Crowd - no chicks I'd do.
HOLY SHIT!!!!! Dan Patrick's weekly interview is with none other than the great ERIN ANDREWS!!!!! Weak picture though. Oh man she's hot. If I was Hef I'd be all over that. If I was Hef I wouldn't do some stupid SI Review.
Cover story about Oklahoma beating TT. I'm generally not too interested in these articles that recap games I already know about but the next time I'm hunching out a stink pickle I'll skim it to hopefully find some BCS hatin!
Here's the article about linebackers. Apparently, Peter King followed Derrick Brooks around during his preparation for facing Adrian Peterson.
"The Dream Life of Andrei Kirilenko" - Now this sounds fascinating. First of all, Kirilenko looks very similar to Ivan Drago in this close up picture they have. Secondly, wasn't it Kirilenko's wife who allows Kirilenko to bone other chicks? Or was that someone else?
Article about soccer. We'll just skip past that.
Annika Sorenstam career review. I'm a huge golf fan so I'll probably read this. I could never quite figure out where she ranked on my scale of 1 to 10 in hotness. This is open for debate.
It seems the 'single wing' formation is back in the NFL. I don't know exactly what that is. Looks like I may need to read.
Dr Z got his pick of the week right - Steelers over the Patriots.
Good call about Matt Forte sinking in fantasy ratings. He looked good on Sunday night.


The Sports Bottle said...

I couldn't get the paragraphs spaced apart. I tried numerous times. WTF?

Juicelaw said...

Sorenstam is like a 6. Meaning I would fuck her given a reason, but I don't think I would go out of my way.

Andrews is like a 17.

gotwinkies said...

does Ms. Juice read this shit?

A comment like that and I'd land straight in the dog house.

Bear said...

You'd be in the doghouse for hypotheticals? Wow...