2008 OJSFA Awards Extravaganza!

Each year, awards are given out in the Orenthal James Simpson Football Association. This year's awards show is hosted by Lil Wayne. Why Lil Wayne? Why not?

First Award is "The Kobe Bryant Award". The Kobe Bryant award goes to the owner who pulls off the biggest ass raping (allegedly) trade of the year.

This year's winner is Bear for pulling off a trade that may never be topped in the history of the league.

Yes, the trading of Tom Brady five minutes before he blew out his knee and was put out for the year was the winner. The complete trade was Brady/L. Coles from Bear to my brother for Big Ben/Reggie Wayne.

Past winners: 2006: Shaun Alexander (Bear) to my brother for Brady/Andre Johnson

2007: Lawrence Maroney (Me) to Twinkie for Torry Holt

The next award is the "Reggie White Award" for free agent pick up of the year.

The winner is Kurt Warner.

Past winners: 2006: Michael Vick (believe it or not); 2007: Derek Anderson (believe it or not). My advice to Bear is drop him like a bad habit next year.

Next up, the newly named "Sports Bottle Award" for rookie of the year. This is an inside joke about the Sports Bottle going 2-14 in our first year.

This year's winner is Matt Forte.

Past Winners: 2006: Mojo Drew, 2007: A-Peter

The next award's name may be slightly outdated, but Packer fans will get it. It is the "Marquand Manuel" award for sleeper of the year. You might remember former (thank god) Packer safety Marquand Manuel falling asleep in the secondary and allowing receivers to run free past him for TD's. This award is for the player selected in the 10th round or later, with the most total points.

A-Rodg is this year's winner.

Past Winners: 2006: Mojo Drew, 2007: Tony Romo

The "Wilt Chamberlain Award" is the next award to be handed out. This award is in honor of Wilt Chamberlain sleeping with 20,000 women, and is for the scoring leader.

Drew Brees is your winner. Drew played for the last place team this year, and clearly was just trying to pile up stats.

Past Winners: 2006: LDT, 2007: Tom Brady

Next Award: the "Ryan Leaf Award" for Least Valuable Player. This is the keeper who scored the least points. No surprise that Tom Brady wins this award. This is the third individual award for Brady in the OJSFA. Last year he was MVP and Scoring leader....

Past Winners: 2006: Domanick Davis (I believe he is dead now), 2007: Marvin Harrison

The final award is the "O.J. Simpson Award" for MVP. This year is a very controversial pick. The MVP is given out to the player with the most points on the first place team in the regular season. This year, I was in first place. I am a slave to the rules so I have no choice but to give the award to:

Phil Rivers. What is controversial is that Rivers was not even what I would call my "starting QB". He started three games (not including today's playoff game) and I went 1-2 in those games. BUT, rules are rules, and he had the most points on my team, even though most of them were on the bench. What is also strange, is that in the past, the winners ended up being clearly the best players in FFB, whereas Rivers clearly isn't. He narrowly edged Anquan Boldin, who is pissed about it and is going to turn it into three TDs today.

Past Winners: 2006: LDT, 2007: Tom Brady