Friday, December 5, 2008

NBA2k9 Konspiracy?

Before I get to this, I would like to add a caveat. It is entirely possible that Sports Bottle somehow managed to do this while he was fucking around on my game, in addition to messing around with the camera angles and such. But I tried to figure out how to do it myself and couldn't, and didn't notice other familiar names, and can't really figure out why he would only create one random prospect and implant it into my game. But again, it is possible that this was a gigantic ruse, and that I'm a moron.

However, for these purposes, I'm going to go ahead and assume that the above is untrue, and this is the most fucked up thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I own NBA 2k9. I normally don't concern myself too much with alot of the features, including the scouting of prospects for the draft. I just usually pick whoever looks best. Last night, I was in one of those weird situations where I didn't really have time to play another whole game, but I didn't feel like shutting off the system, so I was cruising around checking out different menus. Anyways, I clicked on the Scouting Prospects tab, and the following is what I saw:

Many of you probably don't know who Aaron Stokstad is. While that is unfortunate for you, I can tell you that he is a good friend of mine from college. And he is from Wisconsin. And he is white. And he doesn't play D-I college basketball. This picture absolutely blew my fucking mind to the extent that I woke my wife up from sleeping on the couch and told her that my video game is "fucking haunted".
So assuming I haven't been "Punk'd", the question is: Where the fuck did 2k Sports get the name from? I think we can all agree that Stokstad isn't a run of the mill name like Smith or Jones. And isn't the last name of a player like Iverson or Bryant. So where does 2k Sports get its fake names? Well, you can rest assured that I am going to get to the bottom of this shit, if its the last thing I do. I will leave no stone unturned.
Also, if you think I'm not going to trade away the farm to get Stokstad on my team, you are crazy.


stephencolbert said...

I agree that the Sports Bottle did that.... Also, no synopsis on Orenthal getting minimum of 9 years in prison?

Juicelaw said...

You were in the room. Did you witness it?

The Sports Bottle said...

I'm sitting in a hotel lobby right now trying not to laugh my ass off. I absolutely created Aaron Stokstad. I was just hoping you'd see it. Do you honestly think they'd come up with that last name?

Bear said...

Dude, you shouldn't have said anything and let Juice go off on some grandiose plot about how 2ksports trolls college admission records for random first and last names

Juicelaw said...

Good work. It freaked me out.