Friday, September 5, 2008

Weekend Preview

BIG weekend coming up.  Since there is a Packer game on Monday (fucking finally), and I'm not doing shit at work again today,  I am going to consider this a four day weekend.  It's just too bad I think my bosses would frown on me drinking at my desk. 
 
The weekend is extra special, not only because of the return of the greatest sport on planet earth (and the ass raping I am about to give Twinkie in Fantasy Football) but because there is the magical two words that every red blooded male loves to hear happening tomorrow: "Bachelor Party".  This isn't going to be any run of the mill bachelor party.  We are taking a coach bus down to Milwaukee for tomorrow night's Brewer-Father tilt.  The only down side is the Crew is playing like a fucking little league team right now.  In the last four games, I think its pretty safe to say that the starting pitching has sucked, the bullpen has sucked, we can't hit, we can't field.  That's not a very winning combination.  The plus side is I will be blacked out by the first pitch anyway so it won't matter.  The drinking is to begin at 12:30.  No fucking WAY do I make it till 2 a.m. without passing out in a gutter.
 
I will be missing the Wisconsin-Marshall (WE ARE MARSHALL!) game on Saturday for the most part.  Hopefully I'll catch about a half or so.  Badgers didn't look great last week, but as far as Marshall goes, Randy Moss, Chad Pennington and Byron Leftwich ain't walking through that door.  And unless they do, the Herd doesn't have a chance against Bucky.  I'm feeling UW 42, Marshall 13.
 
My prediction for Sunday is that I will be near death until I go to bed.  I will watch the NFL games with one eye half open between bouts of vomiting.
 
Monday night is going to be ridiculous.  My life always seems to have more meaning with each new  Packer season.  This is a particularly big game, because the Queens appear to be the Packers main competition for the division.  (Random Packer story:  A friend of my wife's friend (and not her pizza delivery boy, because that would be fucking stupid and unbelievable) used to fuck Frank Walker (better known as the key free agent acquisition that turned the Packers from 8-8 to 13-3).  While this was happening, my wife's friend would sit and wait with Al Harris.  Walker and this chick met at Target.  This is totally true as far as I know it.  Also, true, this friend of my wife had met Javon Walker at the club that Nick Barnett used to own, and said that he was so dumb that he could barely talk.  Finally, Al Harris said Charles Woodson likes to dress up like a stuffed animal and rub up against things.))  I think Monday will be a defensive battle, because both D's are the strength of the team, and because Tavaryioueuses Jackson blows.  Its going to come down to special teams, and I give the edge to Mason Crosby over Benedict Longwell, but only because Longwell will be distracted because of his growling stomach, because there is nowhere to eat but Applebees in GB.  Pick: GB 17, Queens 14.
 
 

3 comments:

gotwinkies said...

Who's bachelor party? Any of the guys in fantasy baseball?

It's not Officer A's? is it? Surely I would have heard of such an event.

Screw you. My ff team sucks you can have my fucking money dick. Thanks for drafting Rudi "the guy who I just replaced stole my luggage" Johnson fuckface.

Bear said...

Chuck Woodson is a fucking furry? That is very odd, I have less respect for him now... not as little of respect as I have for Al Harris, but he's 5 or 6 freak outs in big games away from hitting that level

Juicelaw said...

The only part that wasn't true was Woodson being a furry. I just thought I would add that to see if anyone noticed.

PS. The Badgers are shitting the bed right now. 14-0????