Monday, September 8, 2008

Running game blog!

So Jaws, Cornheiser and their crony start out immediately talking about how Favre won yesterday and threw two touchdowns so now there's so much more pressure on Rodgers than there was before yesterday. First of all, I highly doubt that he could get more pressure heaped on him, and second of all, how quickly did people forget that the Jets were 15 yards away from losing to the fucking 1-15 last year Dolphins? I wouldn't call that a great game from the Jets, they beat the Dolphins twice last year thusly I am deducing that so far Brett Favre has not been an improvement over Clemons and Pennington

Adrian Peterson scares the shit out of me tonight, I don't why but I feel like our run defense is going to be a lot more suspect this year than it was last year and it really wasn't that great last year

Of course the first commercial break after the game announcers give their pre-game spiel is a Brett Favre Wrangler commercial, I highly doubt that was a mere coincidence.

Jaws brilliantly predicts the first play from scrimmage is going to be a gimme pass for Rodgers.

Well, I don't feel like that series was Rodgers fault, but it definitely stalled, great punt by Frost, hopefully that works out for us.

Here comes the Vikes offense, I predict a LOT of ADP tonight after the media shit all over Childress last year for basically taking him out of the game last year.

Nice, we just got lucky with a holding call from Vikes that pretty much negated Peterson's run on first down.

Tavarious is by far the dumbest sounding of the four players that announced the starting lineup, and that group includes Jared Allen.

Perfectly executed inside stunt nets Kampman the first Packer sack of the year and kills the Queens drive.

Colledge has a false start, you can almost hear his waiver papers being processed from the Packers front office, I'm sure he'll last until his rookie contract is up though.

Perfect execution by Brandon Jackson, fumbling the ball forward to Greg Jennings so that he can pick it up for the first down, gutsy move to keep the drive alive.

After the 4th penalty in a row on the Packs O-line, the ref almost seemed reluctant to call the penalty, I think he seriously considered just waving it off, calling second down and moving on.

Another good sideline angled punt from Frost, he is shaping up to be our only highlight of the night, good hang, good coverage, immediately swallowed up the returner.

ADP delivers a crushing vengeance filled blow to Al Harris before stepping out of bounds, that just reeks of payback from last years hit that hurt Peterson for a few weeks. EDIT: I was correct in my assessment here.

After a frightening drive powered mostly behind Peterson, the Queens have to settle for a field goal, I'll definitely take it.

Ah, beautiful to see Mr. Longwell kicking it to the 15 yard line for a team other than the one I'm cheering for, he's such a liability as far as a kicker goes, Longwell's cap number for this year is 2 and a quarter million, Mason Crosby's is 400k.

Greg Jennings fantastic fucking play over the safety, makes a 60 yard catch down to the 5, and immediately the OMG that was a Brett Favre-esque play starts from Jaws and Cornhole.

Rodgers is looking like shit down here at the goal line and got bailed out twice by the Queens D. Make that three times. Wow, Childress needs to get his D to figure out how to draw a straight line.

Why in the fuck are we trying to run up the middle against the Williams brothers and EJ Henderson? And thank you we finally run off tackle and gain 5 yards, wow go figure...

Korey "I had no idea he could catch" Hall just made an amazing diving catch to bail Rodgers out big time, fantastic, I am pumped up now and immediately yelled at TJ about how that was such a great Favre-esque throw, my joking turned into hilarity when Cornhole immediately repeated what I just yelled out in jest.

I went and smoked a cig and came back to watch Crosby boot through a field goal, 10-3 Pack.

Somehow Al Harris, for once in his career, avoided a pretty blatant pass interference call. I think a team could make a gameplan out of just throwing deep on Harris and hoping for pass interference calls, they'd probably be fairly successful.

Two minute drill coming up for Rodgers, Queens blitz hard on third down, we picked it up and Rodgers hit Jennings open for a 15 yard gain, following that he just lasered a slant pattern pass in for another first down and we are inside the Queens 40.

Rodgers gets pressured and flies down the sideline for a 20 yard gain, we're inside the 15 with a couple timeouts and some time. For some god awful reason the Packers decide to settle for a field goal and have it blocked... And for some other terrible reason the Vikings tried to keep the ball alive by blindly lateraling the ball to each other inside their own 20 yard line.

The second half starts and Tavarious takes off for like a 20 yard scamper and gets tackled by Nick Collins, who takes him down like a parent putting their child to bed at night. Which leads to the conversation of should Jackson have slid there and Jaws immediately says, oh no absolutely not. I guarantee if Bigby had hit Jackson there Jaws woulda been singing a different song.

Somehow Al Harris makes a first down, possibly touchdown saving tackle on ADP. Field goal for Benedict Longwell(I'm glad he's gone so I shouldn't call him Benedict).

Tony Moll, ineligible man downfield negates a 70 yard touchdown by Donald Driver, WHAT THE FUCK MAN. Then we run a fucking draw, god damn this shit. This is gonna lose us this fucking game, mark it down right here, right now. FUCK.

Good penalty, we got the Queens pinned deep, hopefully we get the ball back. Shiancoe just caught the ball, hit the ground and lost the football and we recovered. It got ruled incomplete but now it's being challenged. I would venture to say that this was a catch and not a fumble and it will give the Vikes a big gain, but I'm going to smoke a cig so I'll have no idea.

Childress's willingness to abandon any gameplan involving Adrian Peterson has cost the Queens yet again, and WILL MY FOOT IS FINALLY NOT SHATTERED BLACKMON RETURNS THE KLUWE PUNT, 17-6 Pack. WHOOOO. That thing was a line drive and Blackmon had plenty of space to get out and run, what a pretty return.

KGB makes a sweet play look terrible by jumping offsides and keeping the drive alive for the Queens, now Jackson scrambles, Tramon Williams has 3 defenders behind him and decides to run away from Jackson and let him get the first down. Now Peterson gets another first down on a bitch ass draw play of which the Queens were conceding the field goal. Bullshit. Toughen up defense.

Sidney Rice, touchdown, wide open, 4th and 1, you could see it was a pass from a mile away, the Queens didn't have a power running package in, they were passing, huge breakdown in the secondary over the middle. Boooo, at least the conversion failed.

Update: Tom Brady is out for the year, that's old news but still fun.

Ryan Grant looked strong on a nice 4 yard run for first down, if we run up the middle anymore this game I'm going to shoot McCarthy in the face. Just as I say that we run a stretch play that got torn apart by Greenway. Two passes on second and third down that combined for a total of 4 yards in the air result in another 4th down. Don't you have to look past the first down line at least once on second and third down? Terrible play calling. At least our punt coverage has been good and the Queens start inside their own 20.

Peterson has a nice 7 yard run taken back by a holding penalty called on one of the 6 former Bears wide receivers currently on the Queens roster. Peterson gets 10 yards on a fucking 5 yard comeback route that there is no fucking way the 5 Packers sitting in the zone behind him didn't see, that's terrible, how can you not cover the running back in the flat playing a soft zone like that, you're pushing your secondary out prematurely to take away plays to the outside, you have to think they'll look back inside. Jesus.

Whew, we got lucky because Childress once again abandoned Adrian Peterson, sure we may have gotten away with a little interfernce, but the Queens are punting.

Fantastic break away run by Ryan Grant, he looked strong. Pack down to the 2, they better not run up the fucking middle. Jackson gets blown up because he's terrible, but the Queens had 12 men on the field so we get to try again at the 1. Horrible call with Rodgers trying to sneak it in from the 1, but I find myself saying do it again on second down. We do, touchdown, Lambeau leap for Rodgers and the Pack is up 24 - 12. I predicted to my co-workers today that the score would be 24 - 13, how unfortunate it was that the Queens went for two, I would have been a god. Finally someone in the booth admits that Favre beat a shitty team on Sunday.

Tramon Williams just made the worst fucking play I've ever seen, this shit was Ahmad Carroll-esque, he just put his hands straight down and ran right into Sidney Rice. How fucking long have you played corner back man? How is this a good idea? What the fuck man, just run with the receiver, it was a bad pass, he's not catching it, you suck. Luckily the Queens are taking their sweet ass time here and running the clock out for us.

The Queens wide outs are absolutely atrocious. Cullen Jenkins is down, looks like just a cramp, thank god, we can't afford to lose any D tackles this early or else we'll end up having to sign Grady Jackson in week 8. I just called a draw play up the middle for the touchdown after a fucking HORRIBLE defensive performance by the Packers. WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING OUT THERE. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Onside kick, hits a Packer and goes out of bounds, we get possession. Jaws had the BRILLIANT insight that once it hits Bigby, THAT'S A LIVE BALL. No shit Jaws? Pretty sure it's a live ball as soon as it gets 10 yards, but then I guess you're the intelligent announcer and I'm just some idiot blogging on my couch.

We just had a terrible fucking penalty. 3rd and 11, 2:29, HOW THE FUCK DO WE NOT PASS THE BALL HERE? What does it save us? Maybe 20 seconds after the pass play and the punt? If it's complete we win the game. And we get stuffed and are punting the ball after the 2 minute warning. I want to vomit.

Somehow Barnett doesn't get called for a horse collar on Peterson after the catch, wow that was lucky. 1:08 left. Bigby picks the ball off, falls down, GETS THE FUCK BACK UP FOR SOME GOD AWFUL REASON, but then he gets tackled, thank fucking god.

Packers win...

Here's a parting gift for everyone out there in TV Land.



See if you can put together the significance of that little screenshot of our waiver wire in Juice's fantasy league.

1 comment:

Dan said...

that was rad. do that every game. i thought the entire time it was juice writing, so i thought the cig breaks were a joke, or dave is living a secret life. good stuff man.

gotta love the tom brady trade.