Monday, September 14, 2009

Triple Cripple Point-Counterpoint

This post is partially a recap of the weekend that was, to fill in some of the blanks, and to retort the Unknown QB Diary's game review.

I am enjoying a day of rest today. I took the day off of work fully expecting to be non-functioning after the game last night. I am tired as shit, but not hungover and could have worked. But fuck work.

Saturday night was interesting. We got a membership to the "Touchdown Club" at a local bar chain. For $20 you get a hoodie, a bunch of coupons and this card. The card gets you double bubble all the time, and on Tuesday and Saturday it gets you "Triple Cripple". Which is probably the greatest name for anything ever. Triple Cripple gets you 2 for 1, and a third drink for $1. This deal includes everything except pitchers. It really isn't even feasible for a bar to stay in business. I mean, we got 3 Jagerbombs for like $7. For most of the night there happened to be three of us: myself, Richard and my wife. When we arrived, we asked the waitress if cabs will come out to this place. The bar is probably the closest one I've found to my house, and I didn't know it was there until this weekend. But it is kind of a long way from civilization. The waitresses response: "What are you planning to get sloshed?" Um. Yes? I mean, you fucking give away drinks for like nothing. Do people typically NOT get "sloshed" or was I to understand that people just drive home "sloshed" under the old adage: "If you can see a silo from the parking lot, you are required to drive home no matter how drunk you are." Anyway, the deal was obscene. We got super drunk. Richard sang "My Ding-a-Ling". I allegedly blew a .297 of the fake breathalyzer machine (which was high). As the night came to a close, we had a decision to make: Do we pay for a cab? or do we walk the short 3.8 miles back to my house. I would've walked. It is severely down hill the whole way, so I think we could've done it. I RAN 4 miles earlier that day. But we get a cab figuring it will be like 5 or 10 bucks. The dickface charged us TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS. Which is the same amount it costs to get from Lambeau, which is like three times as far. Asshole. Also, the entire bill, including food, for three adults to get full of food and drunk as shit, plus Mark who had like 3 beers, was $60.

Sunday I woke up feeling like absolute shit. We had intended to go to Buffalo Wild Wings at noon, but didn't make it till 2. Ate and had two beers there (not going well). Watched and cheered for the Browns, as did everyone at BWW. Loud boo in Lambeau when He Who Shall Not Be Named was mentioned in the highlights. Actual quote on ESPN Radio "Forget turning 40 later in the season. He looked like He was 60. He was a statue back there. The Vikings can not be real excited." Agreed. They paid $12 million to throw ONE pass over 5 yards. Traveaeuous couldn't have thrown for 110 yards and got sacked like 5 times? I was unimpressed. Also, the Browns might go 0-16. They are fucking terrible.

Went to a tailgate, ate far too much, got far too full, which inhibited my ability to put beer into my stomach until the end of the 1st quarter. Ended up deciding to just go home and drink after the game instead of going out. And it was the longest game ever played.

Game Thoughts:

-Obviously, one of the best games I've ever been to.

-Fantastic ending.

-The taste of fib tears was delicious.

-There were a TON of fibs there. Far more than I can ever remember. Didn't overwhelm Packer fans, but there were enough to make noise.

-There was a near fistfight in the stands after the game due to a Packer fan politely (not really) pointing out that Cutler threw 4 picks, and a fib not enjoying it. I'm certain that if the Bears had won that these fibs would have quietly left without making a scene or saying anything. Also, I'm certain that there were about 10,000 arrests.

-The crowd was pretty fucking electric last night. You could hear people chanting outside of the stadium about 30 minutes before kickoff.

-Lovie Smith is Chilly-esque. The play calling was atrocious. The challenges were terrible. The fake punt call was incredible.

-I hate to say I was right about Cutler after week one. But I might have been right about Cutler. Also, Cutler's face is priceless.

-I actually was surprised that Grant had as many yards as he did. I wanted to abandon the run completely. The biggest problem though was that the play calling was really, really transparent. On 1st down it would be two full backs, two TE and one receiver, on second, it was either that same package, or 5 WR and no RB. And on third, if they were out of shotgun, and they were going to run, the ALWAYS motioned Finley right in front of the running back, so you knew it was a draw. Just totally obvious what they were doing.

-I do think we were Allen Barbre and three slightly mistimed passes from blowing the Bears out. Although, I suppose it could be said that we were Jay Cutler away from getting destroyed too.

-If we don't win by at least 20 next week. I'm going to be disappointed.

-I was one point off on my prediction.

1 comment:

Bear said...

I've been tearing up twitter so far this NFL season. Also that fake punt was not planned, that was painfully obvious