Sunday, September 20, 2009

Liiiiiive Blog!

So I'm hung over as shit and just went to get some greasy food to attempt to cure that, long story short, I missed the first 5 minutes of the game. It appears to be the Cedric Benson show up until this point. And now LVC just snagged an easy TD over the middle, Woodson looked like he didn't even know the ball was snapped...

Nice wide hole for Grant to just blow through, I could have gotten that first down. This is what we need to do, I don't have very high expectations for the Bengals run D.

Spencer Havner? I'll bet the Bengals secondary just assumed he wasn't an actual player and that's why he was so wide open. Nice rollout by Rodgers, nice throw, nice catch by James Jones and on top of it all we get a roughing the passer call, great play. Now give the rock to Grant!

Not a terrible penalty, back us up a bit, get an extra down, just gonna have to pass now, whoops I guess the Bengals figured that out and they just declined that penalty. Driver! Did he stay in? Refs say yes, will the Bengals challenge this? He was definitely in, no worries, XP is good, 7-7.

Now we just gotta get our backbones to stiffen up and stop the machine that is Cedric Benson

Chuck makes up for his blown cover on LVC! Picked off! Returned down to the 11! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! We can stop them!

You coulda driven a truck through that hole it was so wide, har har. Grant makes a catch and gets the rushing TD after that, 14-7 Pack!

Queens are still down 3-0 to Lions, god they both suck.

Man, we had that play sniffed out so badly and we just over pursued and got knocked on our asses, Benson goes for 10+ yards...

You know, their whole team looked like they were twitching and moving and the refs finally threw the flag at Chad Ocho, good call. Now a holding call, hopefully we can stop Benson from gaining 25 yards in 3 downs, I doubt it though.

Clay Matthews hair now has one pass deflection for the game. Great hit by Nick Collins to knock the receiver out of bounds! Wow, big time play. Then Chuck takes the fullback on head to head, someone had to tackle him.

Damn, looked like Grant should have gained way more than 8 yards there, the whole right side was basically empty field. Fucking A, Grant looked really weak on that 3rd and 2.

Where was our fucking kick coverage there? 4 fucking guys bunched up on top of each other in the middle of the field? You get paid at the minimum, hundreds of thousands of dollars to be out there, wake the fuck up and start acting like football players.

Capers better wake these kids up at half time. We are missing tackles left and right, not pursuing well, and I don't even think we were ready for Palmer. Pickett was in the back field on that last run before the TD by Benson and he just flopped forward and did nothing. CHALLENGE THAT. Nice MM gets the red flag out there before the XP is kicked, looked like Palmer fumbled that ball straight down, bad camera angle though, he may have been across the goal line already.

I think that's a bullshit replay by the refs, I don't think Palmer was in at all. They will take 5 fucking minutes to count 12 guys, but they reviewed that TD in like 2 minutes and probably looked at one angle, his helmet wasn't even over the line and the ball was below and behind his helmet and he lost the fucking thing out of his hands to boot!

Korey Hall can't let that guy come blindside on Rodgers, jesus christ that was scary.

Ok yea, halftime can't come quick enough for this team, we are just making a lot of mental mistakes right now.

Big sack by Jenkins, TAINT BY CHUCK, he's single handedly saving this team right now, 14 points produced by turnovers by Chuck. Brilliant!

Bengals get the ball back and oh wow, look at that another missed tackle by hmmmm, Ryan Pickett! Come on big man!

Now Johnny Jolly comes barreling in to LVC after he makes the catch, drives him PAST the first down marker, giving the Bengals a first down and hurts Nick Collins, great job there Jolly. We had the guy wrapped up and short of the first down but you just had to fucking flying into him.

Clay Matthews hair forces Palmer out of the pocket, he freaks out and falls down and we get a sack.

3rd and 34, they screen pass for a monster gain, Bengals fumble forward, they somehow recover and jesus christ it's a first down. THEN, flea flicker to Chad Ocho and I basically knew Al Harris was gonna commit that roughing the passer penalty as soon as he started blitzing. I mean FUCK, he JUMPED INTO THE AIR WITH BOTH OF HIS HANDS IN A SUCH A MANNER THAT COULD ONLY RESULT IN HIM HITTING THE QB IN THE FUCKING HELMET WHICH IS THE FUCKING DEFINITION OF THE PENALTY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST AL.

And Henry ropes in the TD pass deep in the end zone. I'm past angry words at this point, utterly abysmal series for the Packers D.

Finally something good happens to this team other than Charles Woodson, pass interference call to around the 40. Driver looked like he was talking shit to those corners when he hopped out of bounds after that catch.

Announcers just totally over reacted on that sack, "AND RODGERS IS THROWN TO THE GROUND". Or he was grabbed around the waist and was pretty gently brought to the turf.

Crosby's attempt at a 55 yard field goal reminds me of watching someone he wants to really really crush his next drive off the tee and then just snap slices it 3 fairways over.

Tramon Williams gets caught on an obvious contact downfield penalty, stupid play, stupid penalty. Also, Chuck is the only packer that can tackle Benson on first contact. Tramon then has a great play to break up a pass to Ochocinco and make up for his earlier penalty.

Collins is out in street clothes, Clifton is down, he's sitting up, but it's not looking good as he doesn't appear to want to stand up at all. Yea, Clifton got carted off, he's probably done for the day.

Great quick slant to Nelson and then a great catch and run by Driver after that. Big big play, got us up to about midfield. Grant continues to look mediocre as he coughs up the fucking football on a routine play...

Benson goes air born, loses the football, nobody and I mean nobody on the field realizes this, then suddenly everyone sees the ball at the same time and the ref then immediately whistles the ball dead saying Benson was down. Well I got a fucking DVR on my satellite Mr. Line Judge and Benson, who was less than 5 yards from you, was most definitely still in the air when he lost that football.

Hochuli just said the following: "False start, offense, the whole offensive line, 5 yard penalty". Woodson ONCE AGAIN makes a great play and tackle on Benson. Ochocinco makes a great catch for the touchdown, but he was wide open, just a shitty pass by Palmer. He then runs around the end zone looking for a spot to jump into the stands, finds the only 3 Bengals fans in the stadium with first row tickets and hops into the stands while a grizzly and obviously very drunk Packer fan next to them yells and flips the camera off the entire time. I love it! Still we're down 28-21 to the Bungles, shit needs to get cleaned up fast.

Well we went right back to Grant through the air, get him some confidence back, 13 yard gain. We're moving the football just fine, we just gotta fucking tackle Cedric Benson and shore up the middle of our pass coverage.

3rd and 3, Finley makes the catch about 2 yards from the marker, and proceeds to lay down perpendicular to the sideline, you gotta get that first down! That's inexcusable. Finley gets bailed out by a defensive holding penalty and that gives us an automatic first down. Drive stalls as Rodgers is sacked by some guy on the Bengals for the third time today. Bad fair catch called for and the Bengals will start inside their own 10.

Season premier preview for Two and a half men, TV guide says it's the best show on TV that you're not watching...

They are now showing a replay of Ochocinco's Lambeau leap with a behind angle on the camera so that it's not blatantly obvious the drunk guy is flipping off the camera the entire time. And we just barely stop a screen pass that would have converted another 3rd and long for the Bengals. Wow, I know what they'll be working on this week in practice.

Now announcers are babbling on about our inability to run the football. The only reason we can't run right now is because Ryan Grant looks as weak as a newborn kitten. Seriously he's being tackled by fingernails right now. Rodgers calls an audible, at least 2 lineman get out of their stance and look at him and then look around and get back in their stance. FYI, to me that's a giant warning sign. And that fucking Odom guy gets in there again and has 4 sacks. This is awful football right now, we cannot lose to this team and we are going to.

We might be in trouble now as the Bengals have finally figured out to run away from Charles Woodson. I may or may not have jinxed the poor man as he finally misses a tackle on Benson in the backfield. They are running all over us and about to kick the game winning FG, fucking ugly game.

We take a shot like 50 yards downfield on 2nd and 8? I guess? Then Odom gets his 5th sack and Cosby fucking returns the punt to the 30, Game Over.

2 minutes to go, 41 yarder for Graham, this will end it. FG is good and that pretty much wraps it up.

That photo was pretty much the only bright spot in this game today. We are basically 5 times worse of a football team than the Denver Broncos. Chew on that one for a while.

Smart move here, kicked the FG, lets see what happens here with the onside! False hope is rising quickly inside of me!


Ed Hochuli is a fucking liar, that game was not fucking over when we snapped the football, he was right about the false start, but he's still a fucking liar. Whatever, game over I'm out.

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