Taking Things a Little Too Seriously

I like playing fake sports as much as anyone. Fantasy football, baseball, basketball, golf, whatever. I've even played hockey one time. I like it all. It is a good excuse to not do much work while at work, and it a good thing to drink coffee to on Sunday morning. It is a fantastic way to keep in touch with all of my asshole friends from high school and college, and a nice source of extra income, especially in leagues where Bear is prominently involved. I waste quite a bit of time (especially during football season) tinkering around, considering pick ups and trades, etc. I change my baseball and basketball lineups daily. But there are some that are WAY to serious about it.

I just joined a fake baseball league with my neighbor, who asked if I wanted in. He's undoubtedly my favorite neighbor, likes to drink, is into sports, etc. He was talking shit awhile back about this league he is in that he describes as being like the holy grail of all fantasy leagues. These guys claim to set an alarm clock for waiver wire pickups, and other such nonsense. I've just consistently talked shit about how I will just have to win this using my system (which doesn't exist, but if it did I would imagine to be a cross between "Moneyball" and Reaganomics). It is a 12 team, head to head, non keeper league. They are doing a "Yahoo! Plus" league, which I think is retarded for baseball, because am I really going to use live stats for a baseball league when they play every fucking day? The league really isn't that much different than the various leagues that your blog writers play in. And it is far inferior to the Orenthal James Simpson Football Association.

I'm not going to out the blog on the league because they all know my real name and my occupation, so I will just talk shit behind all of their backs, and update you on the progress of this foray. By the way, when I signed on, there were forty straight posts with guys bitching about paying $35 to join and what an economic hardship it was, and some other post about some guys kid who put up a near triple-double in an 8th grade basketball game. I'm pretty sure I'm at least 10 years younger than all of these guys too. All were offended when I referred to it as "fake baseball".