In The Air Tonight (Monday)

A series of dashes, followed by words:

-There are certain things that I had assumed were common knowledge. Certain things that were meant to signify things that I had assumed were universal. One of these things is the "tipping up of chairs" to reserve seating at a wedding or seminar or something. Yesterday I had a seminar for work, and I had attempted to save seats for some co-workers by doing this. Within 5 minutes, THREE different people ignored other open, non-tipped chairs, to untip these chairs and sat in them. I was incredulous. I wanted to make a scene, but I didn't really like said co-workers that much anyway, so I didn't say anything.

-Sports Bottle, me and a bunch of random dudes are 21 days almost to the minute from landing in Vegas. Also, Richard and Twinkie may come, although Twinkie continues to come up with bullshit excuses.

-I just realized yesterday that Wisconsin and Minnesota are playing for the Ax on Saturday. Long one of my favorite games to watch and torment Minnesota fans over. Unfortunately, I have a golf outing Saturday morning, and I assume the game will get ruined for me by one of my jackass neighbors so I likely won't watch any of it. I will have it set for DVR though. I think Bucky pulls out a one point game and chops down the entire new stadium with the ax. Fuck Minnesota.

-Free NFL REDZONE on Sunday on DishNetwork! Pretty pumped about that, especially since I can fully utilize it because the Packers don't play until Monday night.

-I greatly dislike it when the Pack plays Monday night. It just gives me one more day to stress the fuck out....

-Especially when they are playing the Viqueens, and especially when said Viqueens resurrected some dude from the dead to play QB. And especially when said dude is a cocksucker. And especially since I've been subjected to non-stop fellatio of said dude by ESPN because (SHOCK) the game is on ESPN and they might want to promote the fact that said dude used to play for the Packers. The Greg Lewis catch of the randomly thrown ball by He Who Shall Not Be Named won "Greatest of the Month" presented by DirecTV and Cockring Wearhouse (did we mention the game is on ESPN Monday Night Football?). Somehow this catch is almost never mentioned, and the His name is always mentioned as it being some kind of miraculous throw. The entire play is made at least once a year, every single year. It was a nice play. But it was nowhere near as miraculous as Brandon Stokely's catch of the bomb to win a game in Week 1, yet somehow the Greg Lewis catch won "Greatest of the Month" overwhelmingly. I just find it ironic that the game against the Packers is being broadcast on ESPN. AND it was the Bud Light Freeze Frame picture of the week. Oh, did I mention that the game will be on ESPN?

- It is entirely possible the the game will be one of the highest rated games ever. And the fact that the Packers are involved will be mentioned not at all.

-I'm not sure what to think about the game itself. Minnesota hasn't looked all that good against two terrible teams and one potentially not that good team. Green Bay hasn't been real impressive either. Nobody is surprised that Minnesota is 3-0 at this point. He has made one good play the entire season. And I'm still not convinced Traveaeiuouuus couldn't have thrown that pass. If we can slow down A-Peter, and put a little pressure on He (not that hard), then I think we will be in the game. We have to keep A-Rodg off of his back. I think the Queens probably win a close game, but it wouldn't shock me to see the Pack win either. It will be pretty evenly matched, and that shitdome will be loud as shit I'm sure.

-All I know for sure is that I will be blacked out with anxiety by kickoff. This game really is the perfect storm of stress. It is a divisional game, it is against the Viqueens which is always stressful and close, it is on Monday night, Oh, and the possibly the most beloved Packer player of my generation is playing quarterback for the other team. I have to come to grips with this reality, but this game, and these circumstances, are unlikely as shit. Three years ago, I would have bet a million dollars that this would never happen. But it has. And what is frustrating is that the media (mostly ESPN) has clearly picked sides, and I have to listen to how great it is that He did this to Green Bay. I sincerely hope that his spine is ripped out of his body and that B.J. Raji eats it. If we lose, I may not be able to function. Current Anxiety level: 7. I can't talk about this any more. (Ed. Note: I'll probably talk about this some more).