Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Vegas, continued...

A spectacular post by Juice. Just a few great moments I believe he overlooked...

1) I don't know how I didn't get arrested on Thursday night. A big shout out to Juice. I vaguely remember the Margaritaville kitchen and even an underground parking ramp somewhere in there. I blame the near death turbelence on my flight for the blackout drunkeneness. I still believe in my heart that security guard was an anti-semite.

2) Friday a.m. - I shower early and start drinking early to fight off a hangover. Somehow, I end up in Bally's casino playing blackjack at 9 a.m. Turns out, the entire Griswold family sits down at the same table. Except, the Griswold's have two insanely hot daughters. I am up over $100 and Juice shows up to tell me they are leaving. I am a stupid, selfish asshole and stay. I lose the farm before heading to the Rio.

3) After drinking at the Rio all Friday afternoon, with the same Australian waitress, Sports Bottle (or somebody) busts out the "do you guys remember where I parked my car" line. We get a shake of the head and a reference to the son of God.

4) Sometime Friday (can't remember) Juice mentions the fact that we (they) made a ton of group bets, but somehow, Sportsbottle was the one to place them all. It seems nobody has track of the bets we made, except Sportsbottle. This leads to Juice calling him "Bernie Madoff", which I find fucking hilarious and still can't stop laughing about.

5) Late Friday night, Jim busts out the "Hell, Lumberg fucked her" line. This I also find hilarious and proceed to use way too much and annoy everybody else. But why not, hell, Lumberg fucked her.

6) I almost die AGAIN on my flight home. Pilot suddenly gets on intercom and tells flight attendants to sit down while they are doing their drink service. After the plane violently shakes, I hear the flaps go partially down MID FLIGHT. I have never seen this before in my few times of flying. Oh, and I almost fall asleep and die like 30 times on my way home after getting ZERO hours of sleep in the past 2 days. A big shout out to the asshole with no shame who snored like a fucking pig on the plane and also to the small Asian girls that possibly gave the entire airplane SARS (or swine flu) with their coughing and not covering their mouths.


gotwinkies said...

Also, Sports Bottle 12 team parlay was for a mere TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS(not 1).

I almost felt bad rooting for Atlanta (against his bet) so I could win my 19 dollars.

Bear said...

I love asian girls

Juicelaw said...

I am going to take credit for the losing my car line as well.

Bear loves to EAT asian girls (and guys).

Bear said...

Well I am an omnivore