Rooting Interests, Gas Cans, F*ckfaces & Drinks

I have had this issue come up and I want to clarify my position on it for the benefit of, well nobody fucking reads this, so for myself. It has come to my attention that the bosses' wife, who is loud and opinionated at all times, and whom I have almost physically assaulted on numerous occasions because her views are always directly opposite of mine, roots for the Vikings when they are not playing the Packers. My boss had made a comment about how she needed to "tone it down" or something, then proceeded to tell me that he roots for "NFC Central" teams when the Packers aren't playing or are eliminated or whatever.

Not surprisingly, I have a problem with this.

Now buckle up, because here comes my opinion. In professional sports, especially the NFL, you are not allowed to root for any of your rivals. In the Packers case this especially means the teams in their division. If the Packers are out of it, it doesn't matter. No amount of joy is allowed to come to Viking, Bear or Lion fans. Ever. Period.

Well, you might say, why can't I root for a team from our division out of some bullshit divisional pride? It doesn't work that way in the NFL. There is no real divisional pride. Divisions are created by geography and on occasion to preserve old rivalries. They are not a separate entity. In football, all teams are generally on the same economic level, so it isn't like the NFC North is a bunch of mid-majors that carry the aura of the Midwest (like the NL Central might in baseball, but I've already laid out those rooting rules. Much of which have to do with economics). The other teams in our divisions are just a bunch of pricks with asshole fans who root against my team.

The only time in my mind that it is acceptable to root for a rival at all is in baseball (where I laid out the rules two weeks ago) in rare occasions, and in college sports. In college sports, it is acceptable to root for a Big Ten or Missouri Valley team in the postseason, as a way to validate your team, because conferences are separate entities. The Big Ten are competing as a league with the SEC, Big 12, etc. for revenue. Plus, if the Big Ten team wins, the other teams in the Big Ten benefit by sharing the money, and potentially earning more TV revenue, because again, they are all separate entities. College is completely different from the pros.

So, in closing, if you root for the Vikings, Bears, or Lions at any time, you are not a Packer fan at any time either. And you are a fucking moron.

GAS CANS

The number of saves blown in the playoffs so far have been unreal. Off the top of my head, Joe Nathan, Jonathan Papelbon, Huston Street, Ryan Madson and Ryan Franklin have all completely melted down at least once in a save situation. And all of these guys are "front line" closers. I can't decide if this validates the Brewers signing Hoffman because good closers are so hard to find, or if it tells you that no matter how much you spend, these guys can still cost you the season.

GREAT game last night by the way. I'm pretty disappointed in my rooting interests performances so far. For those keeping score at home, you should be rooting for the Dodgers over Phillies (because let's face it, people from Philly are assholes. This is completely based on the fight I nearly got into after "4th and 26" with an Eagles fan) and Angels over Yankees. Let's just hope they can get to game 6 in both series so we can watch in Vegas.

F*CKFACES

"This is the most talented team I've ever been a part of". -- He Who Shall Not Be Named. Who must've been blacked out on pills during 1996 and 1997, when the Packers had two of the best teams probably ever. Adrian Peterson is clearly better than any running back he ever had (Ahman Green isn't that far off either), but name me one other player that could've started on either of those teams. Maybe one of the Williamses? He Who Shall Not Be Named at age 40 would not be starting over himself at 27. He is a fucking moron and I hope he dies a tragic death at some point this season.

DRINKS

Mark's wedding Saturday. I might have a few drinks. We'll see how I feel.

It just occurred to me that I have just 6.5 days of work left until Vegas. I may also have a few drinks there too.