Monday, October 19, 2009

Cab Drivers Stealing from Drunken Customers

$35. That is how much I paid for a drunken cab ride home at 1:30 a.m. on Saturday. According to Google Maps that is a 12 min cab ride, 8.4 miles in total. Only the last three blocks would have a speed limit under 45 mph. That is $175 per hour for those not good at math. About the same as Twinkie's divorce attorney is going to charge him per hour after his wife finds out what he did in Vegas next weekend. Also, the attorney went to school for about 7 years, has a license that is relatively difficult to obtain, and has to deal with a ton of bullshit. The cab driver is an 8th grade dropout, who hasn't showered in 7 years, and has a license that everyone on earth over the age of 16 has. I'm just sayin'.

Somehow, this same exact cab ride has varied from between $20 and $35 over the past few years. Yet nobody can explain it to me. Partially because they can pretty much charge whatever the fuck they want because they now know where I live, and partially because I'm at a .34. The key is to pass out like Richard. That way you never have to pay for the cab. And you get to stay at my house and be fed for free. (Fucking deadbeat). Also, just sayin'.

The point of this article is that I have no point. I have relatively few things to do at work this week. I have a full day tomorrow, and a half day on Wednesday, with a seminar the other half day. Then, it is off to Vegas where I plan to make more money in 72 hours than I will in the next 72 months. My liver hurts just thinking about it. Also, low 80's and sunny every day. Fuckin' a.


-The wedding was great, fun was had by all. We may just have to do it again for Schmock in November.

-The Packers had the worst 26-0 win ever yesterday. I gave the Lions WAY too much credit this year. They didn't even try. I realize they had no Megatron, but holy shit were they awful. Marquand Manuel (who has his own OJSFA award based on how bad he was during his season in Green Bay 4 years ago)? How is that guy doing anything but bagging groceries? Ditto for Ryan "2.9 yds a carry" Grant.

-Fucking Vikings. What other team would have the other team miss a 44 yard FG in a dome to win?

-I may still lose to Mark's half fantasy football team due to the fact that Moss and Schaub scored like 100 points by themselves yesterday. Need 27 from Rivers/Gates, which should be done, but you never know.

-59-0. Yikes.

-Fucking Jeter just hit a leadoff homer. This is starting to hamper the possibility of an ALCS game in Vegas.


Ricky said...

Not sure where the hotel is in relation to the reception but the cab at Schmocks wedding is on me. Lick my nuts. Thanks for for the breakfast and lunch. Lick my nuts.

Juicelaw said...

I plan to take a cab from the first floor of the hotel to whatever floor the room is on. It is called an elevator. It costs $35.

Ricky said...

Lunch and breakfast are also on me during your next trip to the Twin Cities.

Juicelaw said...

Certain comments on the blog have led to authorities denying passage into Minnesota at any time for fear of the citizenry. But I appreciate the offer.