Thursday, October 15, 2009

UFL and Fancy Coffee

Accidentally came across a UFL game last night while flipping channels. These are the things that happen when you don't have shit to do and baseball takes an NBA style break between series. I'm not really sure what I was watching to be honest. First of all, the game was between something called the Las Vegas Locomotives (or "Locos" as they are known worldwide) and the Florida Tuskers. A few observations:

-The uniforms are hideous. The Locos wore silver colored jerseys and helmets, with a teal/babyblue pant. The Tuskers had the same weird blue colored jerseys and pants, with a neon green stripe for good measure.

-The football itself wasn't horrible. If by horrible you don't mean playing in front of 10,000-ish people in a 50,000 seat stadium, with music blaring between every play, hideous uniforms by both the player and the refs (a red shirt and black pants. I thought they were on field coaches at first). But seriously though, it was football.

-At some point, if they make any money at all, which is doubtful, I could see it being some type of minor league to the NFL.

-I would never be able to get into it until there is either a team in Wisconsin or a Packers affiliate.

-On the Roster for the Locos: J.P. Losman, Marcel Shipp, Teddy Lehman. For the Tuskers: Brooks Bollinger, Tatum Bell, Michael Pittman, Todd Saurbrun. It was seriously like picking up Madden '04.


Is this Russia? Did we move to Russia and I didn't realize it? I'm sitting here drinking a Coke Zero. Because I was too tired when I got up to go to work this morning to make coffee, I decided I would go buy a $3 coffee at one of the two coffee shops on my direct route to work. Except that at 5:45 a.m. neither of them was fucking open. I find two things wrong with this picture. 1) It is fucking coffee, and it is usually consumed in the fucking morning. Close at fucking noon if you want, but be open when people with jobs are fucking going to work. 2) Generally, people who are willing spend $3 on a coffee, can also afford it, and also have jobs. And perhaps those people need to leave their homes before 6 a.m. This is just poor business, and also communist. Its not like I was up at 3 a.m. looking for a fucking Starbucks. A lot of people have to be to work by 6:30. But I guess those people aren't allowed to drink coffee.


Bear said...

When I buy my coffee shop it's hours of operation are going to be 8PM to 8:45PM

Juicelaw said...

Those are the only hours you are not hibernating in the winter.

PS. Obviously I could have bought McDonald's or gas station coffee but fuck. that. I would rather die from falling asleep behind the wheel and hitting a school bus full of newborn babies.

The Sports Bottle said...

Imagine yourself one week from right now.

Bear said...

Gas station coffee isn't too terrible, you get what you pay a buck for though. Usually they'll have some sort of columbian or ecuadorian or *insert random south or central american country* coffee that's strong enough to taste ok

Juicelaw said...

Usually that shit has been sitting in that thermos for like a week. But it is usually hot.

You know what is good that I should've gotten? That super fake "cappucino" out of the machine. (Sports Bottle's) Goddamnit that sounds good right now.

In one week I see nothing in my FlashForward, what does that mean?

Bear said...

You've been buried in a coffin