Friday, October 2, 2009

Twinkie (someday in 1980 to October 2, 2009 or October 22, 2009)


Twinkie died unexpectedly (sort of) on October 2, 2009 when his wife returned home from work and choked him out when she found out he bought a cheap ass air ticket to Las Vegas. Ok, that probably won't happen, BUT more realistically...
Twinkie died suddenly (but not suprisingly) shortly before midnight on October 22, 2009 in Las Vegas, NV surrounded by hookers, cocaine and some fake friends from Wisconsin after consuming mass amounts of alcohol, eating a diet comprised entirely of food from Denny's and losing his (and his wife's!) entire retirement accounts at the simple, yet tricky game of blackjack.
Twinkie was born in a small ass, redneck, hick town in North Dakota (kind of redundant there) and moved to some state out West with big mountains and lots of Indians. He did NOT go to law school, as some people on this shitty blog have suggested.
Twinkie loved the Minnesota Twins and the Minnesota Vikings, especially his favorite Viking player of all time, #4, Brett Favre.
He was a badassmotherfocker who will be missed by all. (I am talking about Twinkie, not Brett Favre).
Ok, on a serious note. I haven't posted forever because I work from home now on my computer owned by the state that I work in (which is a state close to Georgia). So, I am rarely on my personal computer anymore. But I had to make a special occasion to let all my fake friends know that I am, in fact, going to Vegas in several weeks. And I will be there in person, even if it means that I'm a Cyborg created by one Juicelaw in the year 2045, sent back in time to make his friends think he actually had friends while living in the shitty midwestern town where he did NOT go to law school.
I believe the Twins should be wrapping up the World Series sometime near our trip.
I can't wait to meet you assholes.

Sincerely,
The soon to be deceasesed "Twinkie"

5 comments:

The Sports Bottle said...

RIP.

I'm not getting this "NOT" going to law school thing.

gotwinkies said...

someone started writing some rumors on here that juicelaw and/or I went to law school. #1) Like we would ever be stupid enough to spend the money on school for a job that is way too stressful and doesn't pay enough

#2) like we would be smart enough to get it.

#3) lets just drop it

Juicelaw said...

I plead the 5th. Like I would have any idea what that actually is.

Fuck the Twins

The Sports Bottle said...

You two are completely retarded.

Juicelaw said...

Favorite tag ever: "Raped in the anus by complete strangers in Vegas"