OJSFA Week 5 Preview

Just because I felt like doing it today.

GAME OF THE WEEK:

The White Broncos (3-1) v. RIP Billie Jean (4-0)

I will be without my QB, TE, RB3 and DEF. Billie Jean will be without Jay Cutler.

Line: Broncos by 7 1/2
History: Broncos lead 5-3

OTHER GAMES:

Marino for Prez (1-3) v. Jolly Pharmaceuticals (1-3)

A near miss for the shit game of the week. Things could change slightly if Duper goes with McNabb. Also, Bear's team is not living up to expectations, to put it mildly. I mean, they are wildly disappointing.

Line: Jolly by 16 1/2
History: Jolly leads 1-0

Clown Baby (2-2) v. Faribault Frauleins (2-2)

Rashard Mendenhall could be a huge pickup for the Frauleins, especially since he's on his second team since being drafted by me. Good work Twinkie. Prediction 13 carries, 38 yds, 0TD.

Line: Frauleins by 12
History: Clown Baby leads 1-0

Schmock's Team (2-2) v. Heywood Jablome (3-1)

Heywood is exhausted from playing three primetime games already. Looking forward to the week off against Schmock. Schmock is happy to not be playing me (0-2 v. me, 2-0 v. rest of the league). Schmock will not be harmed by an LDT bye, SportsBottle will not be harmed by a Mason Crosby bye.

Line: Schmock by 1
History: Heywood leads 4-2

SHIT GAME OF THE WEEK (CENTURY??)

A-Rodg's Grapefruit (1-3) v. No Talent Ass Clowns (1-3)

This truly is the NFL equivalent of the Browns v. Raiders, or Rams v. Lions, or Insert Shitty Team Here v. Insert Shitty Team Here. To make things even worse, Ass Clowns are without Brees, who gives them like the only chance to win. (Although he has Schaub which is probably the best backup in the league) Except that it appears that Richard may have quit completely. (Gore seems to still be injured). He is filling his roster with injured dudes (Gore (leg), McFadden (something), Braylon Edwards (LeBron bitch slap), Westbrook (will be hurt next week). Want to deal for Gonzalez? But seriously, Ass Clowns get a pass because his life is ending next weekend.

Line: Ass Clowns by 30 (!!!)
History: Grapefruit leads 1-0