A Message From the Commissioner

Can you smell it bitches? Can you smell it? We are a mere one day away from the pseudo-official start to fantasy football season!!!! The keeper portion of the 3rd annual Orenthal James Simpson Football Association draft is set to begin tomorrow with the defending champions out of St. Paul, MN by way of Gilmanton, WI by way of the Water's Edge Bar being forced to select up to three players from his exceedingly subpar team. This is also the beginning of the end for the two expansion teams to our little league, as they see the "top 24" players come off the board before they are given an opportunity to fuck their teams up. Just out of curiosity, the list below shows the first 24 players selected last year (in no particular order, and not necessarily all keepers:

P. Manning
M. Jones-Drew
R. Bush
S. Alexander
D. Brees
L. Johnson
T. Brady
C. Palmer
W.McGahee
T. Holt
L. Maroney
J. Addai
R. Brown
F. Gore
S. Jackson
M. Harrison
C. Johnson
W. Parker
T. Henry
T. Owens
R. Johnson
S. Smith
B. Westbrook
LDT

You will notice a number of them could be called "terrible to average at best" and arguably in hindsight (I like that game!!) weren't worthy of being in the top 24. At least according to me, so I can't wait to hear a certain member of this blog bitch when I name some of his players. MJD, Bush, Alexander, Granmama, Palmer, McGahee, Maroney, Brown, Gore, Jackson, Harrison, Fast Willie, Henry, R. Johnson, Steve Smith. That makes FIFTEEN out of the 24 that if we all had the hindsight of how they would perform, would not have been picked that early. At the time, they were all pretty sure things, but due to injuries or death (Shaun Alexander) we might have wanted the pick back. I should also point out that even with last year, many of those picks should be upgraded to good because of the "keeper" status of our league. The MVP (Brady) and LVP (Harrison) both game in the top 24, and the Super Bowl MVP (McNabb) did not. I guess what I'm trying to say is the draft is an inexact science, and the fun starts tomorrow with the world's only 45 day long fantasy draft.

Updates and analysis will be frequent and scathing as I, the one man commissioner, supreme ruler, executioner and masturbater, flex my love muscle upon the rest of the league.

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go organize my action figure collection and get ready for my D&D game tonight.

Peace.