Border War, 10K, Saturday

This coming Saturday is going to be one of the most insane and potentially awesome Saturdays in a very long time. At 8 a.m., the wife and I are slated to run in a 10K in Green Bay. At 6 p.m. we are scheduled to be nestled in our seats at the lovely Miller Park, smashed out of our gords to watch the Crew forcibly rape the Minnehaha Twinkies with 14 of our acquaintances.

The race is not going to be fun at all. We ran 6 miles a few weeks ago, and I felt my eyes start to bleed about mile 5. The 10k is like 6.2 or 6.3 or some shit (stupid fucking metric system). If I am somehow to survive that, I have to try not to strangle my wife while she takes far too long to get ready to sit in a car for 2 hours and then get really drunk, and I get the shakes from lack of alcohol.

The hope is to get to Milwaukee around 1 to start drinking, and get to Miller Park around 3 I would guess. Somehow, I am going to end up having to drive and ruining my entire day, because that is how things seem to work where everyone wants to get drunk and someone has to drive.

I am all geared up for the game. I bent over and purchased my first ever Brewer jersey. Which is odd because I have had about a dozen Packer jerseys. Other than a Baltimore Orioles jersey I got on clearance, I've never had a baseball jersey at all. Either way, the honor is bestowed on the Hebrew Hammer. Comforted by his long term deal and his long length (albeit uncircumcised) dick, he was the obvious choice. I went with the white "retro-Friday" or "retro-Sunday" or whatever the fuck it is this year, because it was cool and it was cheaper than either the true 1982 home or away jerseys. (The one I really wanted). The only difference between mine and the '82 home jersey is that the number isn't outlined in yellow and there is no patch on the arm(which is pretty fucking cool, but not $25 cool). Prediction is that I spill some type of dark beer on it by about 2:30 p.m. and walk around with a gigantic stain on it the rest of the day.

As far as the game goes, a preview will be in the offing at some point this week because I fucking hate the Twins. Game on Saturday was so sold out that we had to go to StubHub.com to get tickets. There are going to be a bunch of faggots and their bitches at the game in Kirby Puckett jerseys I'm sure. Someone will be shot on Water St. later that night. This is all assuming that the sewer didn't back up all over Miller Park or that it wasn't washed away by a fucking dam (god damn?) bursting.

-I never got to mention how large Solomon Torres's sack is after that ridiculous save on Sunday.

-Billy Hall bends over and moves to second because God (and his damn?) has blessed us with a Rickie Weeks knee injury. I hope it is as not serious as Eric Gagne's shoulder that has had him day-to-day for a month.