Nothing Better To Do

Brewers vs Marlins - Wednesday, June 3rd

Top of 1st

• Brian Anderson - "McGehee continues to hit." He's batting .250
• First matter I address as comissioner - I get a dollar for every time Braun steps out, does that faggy looking practice swing, re-does his batting gloves and then does that little chicken wing flap.
• Braun kills one to center and a great grab by the random Marlins' CF. This is why hitting a baseball is the most difficult thing to do in sports.
• Prince is on pace for a great year. 35 hr, 140 rbi, 120 walks
• Nice towering pop up double right down the left field line for Prince. LF must have been playing in center. 1-0 Brewers
• JJ batting 6th. Keep moving him around. He'll find his spot
• Good start.

Italian dude Miller Lite commercials suck but I do like that one where they say "OH!!!" a bunch of times.

Was in La Crosse last week. Brother's wings still hit the spot.

Bottom of 1st

• Last night Uggla's batting against Parra. Brian Anderson says Parra should really like that matchup. What did Uggla do? You guessed it.
• Looper looks like Favre/Jenkins
• Billy Hall playing tonight against a lefty!!!!!!
• Looper isn't liking his footing situation.
• Didn't Looper throw mid-90s a couple years ago?
• Walk to Bonifacio. Here comes a steal of 2nd.
• Looper throws to 1st two times in a row. The four Marlins fans in attendance boo in unison.
• Brian Anderson compares JJ to Hanley. I want the black guy.
• Deep shot by Hanley, run down by Juice's struck match.
• Schroeder and Anderson basically discuss how Prince could murder Bonifacio on a play at 1st.
• 4 up, 3 down. Good start for Looper. 1-0 good guys.

AirTran has WiFi. Hey Juice. There's a certain device that can get WiFi. Do you know what it is? You guessed it, my iPhone.

I've never eaten any Usingers products but I would argue it's the best food ever.

Top of 2nd

• Astronomer Schroeder expertly tell us the moon we see on the TV isn't a full moon. I figured that out when I could only see 3/4 of the moon.
• Billy "lefty killer" Hall pops out weakly. At least he didn't strike out.
• Kendall got hit with a bat in the eye. Yeah, right. How come his wife has a cast on her left hand? Anyways, the Marlins keep his powerful bat at bay with a weak pop foul out.
• Looper hits one rather well, right to CF.
• 6 pitch inning. 1-0 Brewers

I'm always thinking Arby's.

Juice got Kenseth for his Fleet Farm commercials and I get this generic horseshit? Fleet Farm, we love it!

Bottom of 2nd

• If you buy a very upper deck ticket at Joe Robbie, can you just move down to the field when the game starts?
• Brewers 5-15 in there last 20 in Florida.
• Looper's perma-grin becomes a full flegded smile at times.
• Yep, Looper was a mid-90s thrower when he was with the Marlins.
• 1-2-3 inning. Looper looking sharp. But they said Parra was looking sharp early yesterday.....

Someday I'm gonna win the lottery. Then I'll pay someone to blog for me.

Need to check my iPhone....

Ok, I'm back. I bet Ricky checked his too.

Top of 3rd

• Hart leading off the 3rd. He's at the top of the order tonight.
• Leadoff walk
• Last night Jody Gerut had our first two stolen bases in something like 16 games. And then he scored. Go figure.
• Anderson and Schroeder steal my stolen base thunder. They must be following along.
• McGehee looks like he'd be a Pack R Place regular.
• And then he pops out to Uggla on a 3-1 pitch.
• I can't watch Braun bat. Drives me crazy. Two perfect pitches he watches. Now he'll swing at a ball and foul it back.
• He even steps out when they throw over to first.
• There it is, a foot outside and fouled off.
• Another one, high and outside, fouled back.
• OK, I'll shut up now. Braun launches a 2-run dong to left. 3-0 Brewers
• The two Marlins fans in left are having a knock out drag out fight for that ball.
• I see a huge tub of double bubble gum in the dugout. The perks of being a professional athlete must suck. I would go through one after another of those. The first 20 seconds are so delicious.
• Prince lineout to center.
• Cameron flyout to center.
• 3-0 Brewers

Foosball on every AirTran flight would be awesome. But we're gonna settle for WiFi.

Bottom of 3rd

• Why can't they use a ball once it touches the dirt?
• Looper starts with a K. Still looking good.
• Braun's dad is getting his 15 seconds of fame. He's shown texting like a 16 year old girl
• Looper K's the pitcher.
• Braun in an interview "We know we may upset the opponents sometimes." In other words, the Brewers are a bunch of punks and they know it. Anderson and Schroeder take this as a positive.
• Bounce out to Billy Hall. He does have a good arm, I'll give him that. 3-0 Brewers

Time to take the dog out.

Top 4th

• Hardy walk. He ain't going anywhere. Slowest middle infielder in history.
• Bill Hall at bat!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The anticipation is building.......
• Hall strikes out
• Actually he hasn't, I'm just guessing. Two strikes right now.
• A throw to first!!!! Hardy back just in time. Come on. Did they not do their homework?
• Hit and run attempt with Hardy and Hall. If I had to create the greatest hit and run combo, Hall and Hardy would be at the top of the list. Hall fouls it off.
• Hall strikes out.
• This time I'm serious. He watches a pitch right down the middle.
• Dollar to all our readers if Kendall goes yard here.
• Popout to center. 2 out. Hardy still on first.
• Kendall 2nd among catchers in fan voting. Wow.
• Wild pitch. Hardy to 2nd.
• 3-0 to Looper. Does he get the green light???????????????????
• Looper walks, much to the dismay of the packed house.
• Hart up with a duck on the pond.
• Braves traded for Nate McLouth. Pretty good trade for them.
• Hart touches his nuts a lot.
• Halfway through Hart's swing he seems to stop giving a shit.
• Hart K's
• 3-0 Brewers

Fuck AFLAC

I now want to explore Minnesota because a commercial just told me to. Actually, I've lived in Rochester, St Cloud and Owatonna. I've had enough Minnesota.

Bottom of 4th

• Jorge Cantu with the first hit for the Marlins. A home run to left. 3-1 Brewers. The fans are fighting for that one like Bonds' record breaker.
• Looper recovers. A solo shot isn't too bad.
• 3-1 Brewers

Ok, this is taxing.

Top of 5th

• Rally time
• Infield hit by Braun
• Solid single by Fielder
• US Cellular call to the bullpen for the Marlins.
• Cameron walk. Good call to the bullpen
• Bases juiced. Hardy up.
• He watches two straight fastball strikes. The 2nd was on a tee.
• Ground ball to 3rd. Force at home. God we suck in clutch situations.
• Now it's up to Hall. He runs the count 3-0. Obviously they don't want to give him something to hit, although the bases are loaded.
• Hall walks!!! It's like when they used to intentionally walk Bonds with the bases loaded. I'm pretty sure this was an unintentional-intentional walk. 4-1 Brewers.
• I reiterate - good call to the bullpen.
• Kendall has one grand slam in his career? No fucking way.
• Full count, bases loaded, 2 outs. Pretty sure he just swung at ball 4
• Kendall walks. 5-1 Brewers. Excellent call to the bullpen.
• Looper walks. Hayden Penn just walked the bottom 3rd of the order with the bases loaded. Fabulous call to the bullpen. 6-1 Brewers.
• Another US Cellular call to the bullpen.
• Hard shot by Hart to 3rd. Booted by Bonifacio. Then a bad throw to 1st. Another run. 7-1 Brewers.
• McGehee up for the 2nd time this inning. Double to left center! 9-1 Brewers.
• Schroeder would take it up the pooper from McGehee
• Braun K's
• Great rally. Good call by me

I got us a 9-1 lead. With that I politely bow out. Good night. Time to go chill on my iPhone.