Thursday, June 25, 2009

There is Funny, and Then There Is Richard's Travel Schedule

King Richard lives in Minnesota. Yet this summer, there are many, many important things going on in Wisconsin that would require a drive here, and drinking too much to drive back in one day. The joke a few months ago was that he should just rent an apartment for the summer, because it would make more sense. That schedule got even funnier last night when he agreed to bite the bullet and pay for a preseason Packer game, in exchange for a ticket to the Sunday night season opener against the Bears. From what I can piece together, here is his weekend schedule starting August 1st.

August 1: Bachelor Party in G.B.
August 8: OJSFA Draft in Stoughton
August 15: Packers v. Browns in G.B.
August 22 thru Sept 6: Off
Sept 12: Packers v. Bears
Sept 19: Off
Sept 26: Oktoberfest in La Crosse
Oct 3 and 10: Off
Oct 17: Wedding in G.B.
Oct 24 and 31: Off
Nov 7: Wedding in Madison

That makes 7 weekends in Wisconsin and 8 weekends at home from August 1 to November 7. Also, this doesn't include Schmock's bachelor party, which I imagine would occur in September or October in Wisconsin, or the inevitability that he will probably come to a game in December or something. Seriously Richard, this is hilarious to everyone but you. Just give up the charade of living in Minnesota and fucking move here.

BREWERS

Are the Twinkies fucking serious? That was the worst 45 seconds of baseball I've ever seen. We stole that one. I'll take it.

NBA DRAFT

Today is my favorite NBA time of the year. It is all down hill from here. The draft is fantastic, and I don't know why.

REAL WORLD CANCUN

Not overly impressed with the premier last night. Could've been worse I guess. I just hope they drink in the ballpark of how much I would if I was there. Too many east coast people, so I'm guessing they will puss out. The dude making out with the "Sharon Osbourne look alike" was pretty classic/disgusting. Their hotel isn't as nice as the Imperial Las Perlas though.

9 comments:

Schmock40 said...

There is a good chance I will be having my bachelor party August 22nd. That would lake care of that weekend.

Schmock40 said...

I meant "take care of that weekend."

Ricky said...

Dude, you are killing me!

Ricky said...

Also snow volleyball in January in La Crosse. Nice Imperial Las Perlas reference!!

Ricky said...

Did someone from River Falls just make fun of another city??? Is that what they call the pot calling the kettle black or something like that?

Juicelaw said...

River Falls certainly is a living, breathing organism. And has self awareness to know that it likes NASCAR and Larry the Cable Guy.

Richard, I'm not just going to fucking show up. Given a reason, I'll be there. Minnesota just sucks so much.

Juicelaw said...

8/22 Bachelor Party+ 3 consecutive weekends of drunk prior= My liver trying to escape my body.

Seymour said...

Ive never been there but I would venture a guess that it sucks... Oshkosh has the self awareness to embrace petty theft and unemployment

Juicelaw said...

Don't forget random acts of violence and barefoot/pregnant teenagers.