This cheers me up

I'll Take It

For those who didn't see it, Manny Ramirez held up a sign in the dugout that said "Trade me to Green Bay for Brett Favre straight up." Absolutely I will take it at this point. Does anyone else feel slightly dirty about the possibility that the Pack offered Favre 20 mil to stay the fuck home? It just feels sort of wrong to me, although in other industries "golden parachutes" happen all the time. I suppose if Favre were to take it, that would shut the assholes up that have been taking his side from the beginning. If not, this certainly makes the Packers look bad. This is all allegedly (until Favre opens his dipshit mouth and tells everyone word for word what Murphy said). Now there are reports that the Pack may have to trade Favre within the division. I just can't really decide which is worse 1)having to deal with the distraction of him being here, and the relentless fuckfaces calling for them to play him/ but having him available if Rodgers sucks or gets hurt or 2) giving him up, getting some shit in return, and having to deal with the relentless fuckfaces bitch and moan as he leads the Queens to the playoffs. The thought of either makes me physically ill. The best case scenario is that Jeff Garcia's leg is hurt tremendously, and they blink and trade for Favre. I don't know, this whole fucking thing is getting so ridiculous. Favre is a fucking asshole, and I dislove him more and more every day. It is his and only his fault that shit has gotten this crazy. If he would have a)not retired, b)not changed his mind again in March, c)hasn't gone back and forth on retiring for 10 straight years and d) wasn't being such a dick about where he would be traded, none of this would be happening. I still don't really understand how people blame Ted Thompson for this. I just don't really know what choice they have at this point. They let him go and he goes to the Vikings for nothing (we assume), or we trade him and at least get something out of the deal. I just don't think there is anything reasonable to do at this point. I heard someone say they should extend Rodgers, give him a shitload of money, and let Favre play. I dunno man. I just don't know. Alot of people think Favre needs to come back and he should be "allowed to compete" because he is so much better than Rodgers. First, that can't happen. Favre wants to be handed his job, and wouldn't be willing to compete. Most of these same fucktasting "fans" bitch about Rodgers being handed the job, but certainly see no issue with approximately 98% of starting QB's in NFL history never having to compete for their jobs (including Favre for the last 16 years).

Second, how would that work any better than making him sit and cause the distraction? If Rodgers "wins" everyone will assume it was rigged anyway, and Favre will piss and moan. It won't take away the distraction and it won't make things better for the dipshit fans. Nothing short of handing the job back to Favre will pacify his ego, and whatever bullshit need he has to "compete".

Third, do we really know that Favre is so much better? Obviously, he has done well, had a great year last year, and has alot of experience, is a hall of famer, and a top 5 QB of all time. Obviously, Rodgers is unproven at best. But does anyone remember three years ago? When Favre sucked dick and we went 4-12? What guarantee is there that he will be as good as last year? And if he is the starter and sucks, can you imagine what would happen if McCarthy tried to bench him? What guarantee is there that Rodgers can't be as good as Favre was (at least last year, nobody is stupid enough to think anyone will be as good as Favre over a career.)? Or that he will get hurt? Or that Favre won't? I just don't really think the difference is as huge as some are making it out to be.

There is nobody on earth smart enough to figure this out. No good answers. Personally, I think the Pack has to do what they think is right, and I trust the people in charge. Thompson and McCarthy have done nothing to prove to me they don't know what they are doing. They don't always make the obvious decision. Alot of times it isn't the most popular either. But I trust them more than I trust Favre right now. Even if that "bribe" was sort of dirty.

PS. I can't wait to walk down the street on Sundays near Lambeau and trip over all of the face value tickets from the "Packer fans" who refuse to follow the team anymore over this. Clearly, I know this will never happen, because these people are full of shit, and as soon as the season starts they will don their Super Bowl Mardi Gras beads and Zubaz pants and pretend they are the biggest fans on planet fucking earth for their entire lives.

Well. That was fun.

I thoroughly enjoyed the 35 seconds that the Brewers were tied for first place in the central. After getting thier ASSES kicked on three straight nights, I think it is pretty safe to say the Cubs are a little better. Also clear is that Ned Yost is a terrible fucking manager. The worst part is that the games are impossible to enjoy because of all of the fucking FIBs.

Running game blog starting from the 5th!

Ok this game is really starting to piss me off, so I feel like others should know my anger.

As this game goes through to commercial breaks, I'll be adding in thoughts I've had from previous innings. Top of the first, I find it hilarious how neither of the two dead beats that are spewing forth mindless drivel from the booth don't comment on the fact that Fielder straight up dropped the fucking ball on what very likely was the third out. Granted it was a wild pitch and that's not Fielder's fault, but it is his job to catch a ball thrown from his teammates in the infield. Bottom of 1, we would not have scored without that gift from Dumpster. Bottom of 3 Parra doubles to deep center from the leadoff spot and easily gets stranded for the rest of the game.

Top of the 5th, Reed Johnson slaps a single into right, I don't know if this is true or not, but you have to feel like a first baseman under 290 pounds gets to that. Sutcliffe and his nancy boy start talking about NL Cy Young candidates, after they get done with this they of course start talking about how awesome Dumpster's been tonight. They then proceed to show 3 Brewers in a row K'ing on neck high fastballs, FILTHY STUFF RICK, you fucking hack. Luckily our one solid infielder gets a rocket to end the inning.

Bottom half of the inning, Mike Cameron K's like a bitch. Man he has been playing just terrible in the last month, it's just been below average play after below average play. I'm very excited that his ass will be out the door come season end. Kendall socks one into left, he's been slumping a bit too, but his D is solid, he eats pitches and when he does get a hit, it's usually clutch and it's really just an added bonus for us. Of course as I say that, Kendall's 47 year old ass gets thrown out by about 14 steps, fucking stellar job Ned, right as Parra laces a triple to left center. I'll sleep comfortably tonight with the knowledge that he will be stranded yet again. Good to see the only person who can hit Dumpster tonight is our pitcher. COME ON DURHAM. Bleh, he grounds out to third, but I 100% blame Yost for this game not being tied right now. He habitually finds a way to lose runs in games.

Top of the 6th, brilliant insight from the booth, they claim Parra should have stayed at second instead of going for the triple with 2 outs because it didn't matter that much. OR, and here's a fucking thought, which I know these two are incapable of having without the Red Sox or Yankees playing, but he's a fucking pitcher. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say there's no guarantee he scores from second from a single, while at the same time a single scores him from third no matter what. Erin Andrews claims that Yost told her we have the defense to win a championship. Toss me a bag of mushrooms and lock me in a bathroom for a week so I can get a taste of what's going on in his mind. Fuck Soriano. Theriot triples the bases empty 4-1 Scrubs. Sutcliffe once again mentions Parra's triple and claims that had a major factor in his demise here in the 6th. Or this was his 4th time through the lineup and I really don't know a pitcher that fares well in that situation? Nope! Had to be the triple. Villenueva comes in and looks sharp while striking out Lee, nicely done. We've lost the announcers for the night as they've taken up the topic of what they would have done at the ESPY's if they were rich or famous, life sucks fellas. They start talking about Parra again and how the reason that he started to lose it in the 6th was because of his pitch count... OR HE WAS FACING THE LINEUP FOR THE 4TH TIME TONIGHT. Finally in the 6th inning I am justified in my thinking that if Prince caught the throw after that wild pitch in the first, the runner may have been out, only 5 innings late guys, that's fantastic broadcasting. Walk, single scoring a run, terrible inning.

Bottom half of the inning, Hardy working the full count, then grounds to 3rd, at least he ate some pitches. Braun's first pitch, monster cut about a foot away from the ball, fouled off the next pitch, I'm predicting K. And I'm right. Once again we get the insider commentary that Parra's outing today was ruined by that triple. Let that be a lesson to pitchers everywhere, never ever take that extra base if its available to you. Fielder gets a single to left and barely beats the throw from the left fielder. That's not true of course, but you'd have to imagine if Soriano came up firing he'd at least make it look close. Hart's up now and it looks like he's been crying for the last 20 minutes. Hart strikes out swinging on a pitch that was dead center down the middle of the plate, are the Brewers going Black Sox on us? I can see it now, Kendall just freaking out behind the plate, what the fuck is going on guys!

Top of the 7th, 4th mention of Parra's triple affecting his pitching. And I jinxed Hardy as he loses control of a ball and gets Fukudomed. Just saw a Pujols highlight of him diving like 20 feet behind first and stabbing a ball for a sweet out, god I hate Prince Fielder. After a slight scare of walking the pitcher, Chucky gets the K. Good news on the political front, our 85 year old future Dark Lord of the Sith Emperor's biopsy came back cancer free. Soriano finally gets out, no damage in the 7th.

Bottom of 7th opens up with a HILARIOUS ESPN sign from a Cubs fan that says Enjoy Second Place Ned Yost. I don't think the Yost was necessary seeing as how he's the only Ned on the fucking field, god damn FIBs. Mike Cameron is batting .228, he is terrible. And he K's again, fantastic. Let's not talk about platooning him. Sutcliffe starts talking about Favre and one of them mentions how his legacy may have been tainted from the early retirement and then coming back to play. Then other one mentions that Jordan did that multiple times and his legacy is fine. Well lets get two things straight here, Jordan retired once, technically twice. The first time was less a retirement and more David Stern asking him to quit for two years instead of being suspended for 2 years for having a gambling problem. But the one time he did come back was for a completely different team and there was a gap in time between the two seasons, that's a lot different. Oh the inning's over, went by so quick I didn't notice.

Riske's in to lead off the 8th and immediately gives up a single, I'm predicting a 4 run 8th for the Scrubs. Samardja apparently asked what position Sutcliffe used to play after he got done interviewing him before a game, that's good stuff. This gets mentioned 3 or 4 more times before the inning is over.

Ok I've completely lost interest in this game and Sutcliffe's blatant homerisms, I'm giving up on this for the night, good night and good fight.


Had to come back for this one, Sutcliffe and his crony claim that Hardy was an all star this year while they try and sing his praises. Then Hardy proceeds to K by watching 3 straight pitches after a 3-0 count, weak sauce.

Weeks Sucks by Tom Hardicourt

I was going to write a long, rambling post about how Weeks sucks, but I will let Tom Hardicourt do it for me.

Death Match: Brewer v. Packer

I've been wondering for a few weeks now what would happen today when Packer training camp opens and the Brewers open their biggest series of the year so far against the baby bears. Well, I can tell you from listening to local radio that it was a beating of epic proportions. If you had just landed from an alien planet, you would have no idea that a baseball team even plays in Wisconsin, much less is in the middle of a pennant race, with a legitimate shot at the playoffs for the first time in 26 years. The only time the Crew even got mentioned was when the hosts forced it in. If there had been completely free reign on phone calls, there would have been no mention of the series that starts tonight. And I'm not even talking about the Favre thing. Of course it was discussed because there is a federal law that mandates that if you have any idea what a football looks like, and you host a show, you must discuss Brett Favre for at least 25% of all on-air time. But most of the talk was about other things, Ryan Grant's holdout was a big one. It is incredible to me that overnight, the Brewers were vaporized by grown men discussing other grown men practicing a game in 90 degree heat.

I guess I just wanted to point out how far the Brewers have to go to garner even remotely close to the obsession that Wisconsin fans have for the Packers. Myself included probably. If the Packers played at the same time as the Brewers I wouldn't think twice about what I would be watching.

YOUR Oklahoma City....Energy?

Not a real big NBA fan, but I find it interesting when teams move and change thier names. I'm kind of a defunct franchise junky. So I see that OKC has applied for patents for six possible nicknames: Barons, Bison, Marshalls, Energy, Thunder and Wind. And according to the article they spelled "Marshalls" wrong. I guess it is only spelled with one "L". That makes my obvious vote for that one because I would love to see a team with an unintentionally mis-spelled nickname. If I wasn't a lazy piece of shit, I would head over to the local U.S. Patent office and put a patent on the correct spelling, then sell it to the NBA for like $20mil and retire to the Caribbean.

My second thought is that Energy and Wind are Liberace gay. In fact, I'm pretty sure the Milwaukee Bucks dance team is name is nicknamed the Energee! So that would be a weird dynamic. And what the fuck is a "wind"?

I am partial to Thunder because that was my high school's nickname. But oh how I would love to see Kevin Durant play as a member of the OKC "Marshalls".

AS AN ASIDE:

It is SO frustrating to watch the Crew leave 12 guys in scoring position every game. That was a game that should have been won last night. And yes, I am bitching about an 8 game winning streak being snapped...I feel like a fucking Yank or Sawx fan.

I predict Favre will be gone by the end of the night tonight. There is no way the Packers want that distraction. Whether he shows up to camp or not, it will be a distraction for the whole team if there is a possibility of him playing QB for the Packers. Because there will always be some group of dipshits that start chanting for Favre to come back every time the Packers punt.

Illegitimate Thoughts

-Weeks watch:
Weeks: 6/13, HR, 5RBI, BB, 0SB
Durham: 0/1

So far, not a really fair fight, since Weeks has been busy "achieving" at the major league level. He has been great this week though.

I am still cleaning up semen from CC's game last night. Easily the best stretch for a Brewer starter in my lifetime. Hopefully Benny can sweep the Cards tonight.

What if the Crew actually pulled off a trade for Houston Street? Not the greatest closer, but would dominate as a setup man. THEN maybe we could get rid of Mota.

-Orenthal James Simpson Football Association Update:

The following three guys were kept by the O.G. Team from Stoughton, WI: LDT, A-Peter, Carson Palmer. WOW. Are you fucking kidding me? Cobra, you are fucked in the ass when you play him.

Right now I would have to say that team and Bear's team are the odds on favorites.

I just bought a fantasy magazine and am in the process of putting together a master(bater) list.

New Onion article

So the onion has a new article up about the Brewers. My favorite quotes are as follows.

"On Monday, Yost announced that any player who attempted to devour another, no matter how delicious they seemed to appear, would be subject to disciplinary action."

"And as a provisional measure, we've gotten Ray Durham from the Giants in the hopes that both Prince and C.C. will think he's a giant ham and leave one another alone."

Good stuff, good stuff

The Weeks Watch is ON!

C'mon Neddy. Really? I mean, even Bear's boy Hardicourt couldn't come up with anything good to say about Weeks, and he sucks whomever's dick the manager and GM tell him to. An average of .216 is horrible for any regular starter, much less the fucking leadoff guy. And it is late July now. It would be hard for Neddy to claim he is suddenly going to turn things around. You gotta think in the very near future that Neddy is going to start feeling pressure to leave Ray Durham in after he gets two or three hits the first few times he plays. My favorite comment from Yost: "For me, he has never underachieved because he never achieved up here. How can you say he has underachieved?" I mean, that is classic Neddy. Just a dick whenever he wants to be. Contradicting himself at every turn. First getting offended at the mere notion that he would take out long dong Weeks, and then saying he has been a piece of shit for the last three years to claim he isn't an underachiever. Whatever. From now on I am going to waste time chronicling how shitty Weeks is compared to Durham, until I get lazy and forget about it.

We are mere minutes away from a HUGE series in fucking July for the Crew. Gotta believe they are guaranteed to win at least one of the CC (I can't call him BF anymore, he is too good) Big Ben back-to-back, meaning they really only need one of the first two to declare the series a moderate success. I would be happy with a road split, although a series win would be as gigantic as it could be in July.

Sorry, We Don't Want Your $30

The wife an I attempted to go see "The Dark Knight" last night. We had to sidestep the large piles of semen all over the sidewalk outside of the theater, as people who exited weren't able to contain themselves over how good it was. Problem is we only got there 40 fucking minutes early. Which I guess wasn't enough. We were informed when we arrived that the two nerds in front of us got the last two tickets. Nothing sucks as much in this age of $9.00 gas, to drive 8 miles to the theatre to be told to go fuck myself, and be told that we could enjoy Mamma Mia! I don't think I've been more pissed to have someone tell me they would not accept my $30. I'm rather convinced the movie wouldn't have been sold out (I guess all 12 showings yesterday were sold out) had that gay cowboy dude not died "tragically" (didn't he fucking kill himself with a toxic mix of pills?) Anyway, I still want to see it. The last one was fantastic. I had to go with plan B last night which consisted of a 20 oz. Mocha Frappe and watching Saw II (STARRING DONNIE FUCKING WAHLBERG!!!, not Marky Mark Wahlberg who is actually a pretty good actor, but fucking DONNIE!!! who I didn't even know acted).

"Sabathia is a fucking stud"

That is an actual text I received from Bear about 11 p.m. last night. And he was absolutely correct. That was one of the more dominating performances I've seen from a Brewer pitcher. I am a little bit enamored with him. At least the Crew can only lose 4 in a row at once the rest of the year.

NO T.V. today for the game, which should be illegal.

Fish 'n Chips

So I'm sitting here watching the British Open or "The Open Championship" if you work for ABC/TNT/ESPN and are required to call it that and a few things came to mind. The British is usually my favorite major to watch because of the sheer ridiculousness of it. Playing in sideways rain, with 50 mph winds is really, really fun to watch. It is fun for me to watch the best players in the world shoot a random ten over par and then bitch and moan about it afterwards. For instance, today, I saw a ball that was sitting on the green get fucking blown off the green by the wind. This is random, but I think ABC put Tom Rinaldi out there because he looks the most British. Another insane thing was that the players had to wait 30 minutes between the 9th and 10th hole. It was like playing on a fucking muni course around here where you get stuck behind a Special Olympics golf outing. (That actually happened to me last Sunday. It took almost 3 hours to golf 9 holes.) There were 4 fucking groups waiting to tee off on 10. In a Major! Just so cool. Tomorrow I hope a gypsy runs out and steals Greg Norman's ball on 18 or K.J. Choi gets hit by a Volkswagon.

OLD BALLS

ATTENTION TOP 10 GOLFERS IN THE WORLD:

You are losing badly to a guy that wears Depends on the course, drinks a cup of Metamucil to start his day, and takes Viagra to nail his out-of-his league, hot, ex-tennis star.

Anyways, my hats off to the old man. It is impressive to golf that well in a Monsoon, especially with old brittle bones. It would really cool to see the ghost of Greg Norman hoisting the Jug (or whatever the fuck it is called).

I'm Not Dead

I also haven't pretended to retire, then suspiciously ask for my release immediately following a number of conversations with my "friend", who just happens to be a mid-level executive at one of our main blog competitors. (That by the way is a joke, we have no competition, mostly because nobody knows we exist.) Anyways, I LOVE the tampering angle. And the scenario isn't all that retarded at all. I would savor the Vikings first round pick more than life itself. FUCK THE QUEENS. Have fun with Tavarious (or how ever the fuck it is spelled) and you half full dome assfucks.

Also wanted to chime in on the latest from our genius manager Neddy. It has been rumoured on various radio shows 'round these parts, that Ned Albert Einstien Yost, is following up his batting the pitcher 8th with this beauty: He is going to solve the full starting pitching staff problem (I call it half empty, but whatever), by pitching Dave Bush in home games and Seth McClung in road games. I don't care how much of a fucking sabermatition you are (FYI, Bush is 4-2, 2.49 at home and 2-6 6.95 away and McClung is 4-4, 4.95 at home and 1-1 3.28 on the road), that is fucking retarded. Words can't even really describe how asinine that is. Even if the stats make it interesting it is fucking really, really dumb. I mean why don't we just platoon every fucking spot on the team, that is what Ned really wants. In fact, on even numbered days after road games, Ned is awful, so we should have Ted Simmons manage those games.

Dude, Lincecum you were so wasted last night

So I sat down to watch the extra innings portion of the All-Star game last night and I had to wonder how much Francona payed Uggla so these shitty ass Sawx could try and steal home field advantage for the World Series. Too bad it didn't pay off and Corey Hart's lame duck arm out in right gave the AL the win anyways. I shouldn't say that, the throw wasn't terrible and it would have taken a pretty good one to get the runner.

I did notice on one of the tickers that Tim Lincecum was scratched from the lineup last night after getting out of the hospital earlier in the day with flu like symptoms and dehydration. Hey Tim, at least when I pull that bullshit after a long night of drinking I'm only missing a shitty day at work, you on the other hand missed an appearance in your first All-Star game. I hope you at least got syphilis from some NYC alley skank.

Every All-Star, Pro Bowl, whatever game, is a joke. I have no ideas to make them more exciting, and I don't know that there is without compromising the having fun part of game. I just never can seem to amp myself up too much for these things, ah well.

Damn, I was going to change the subject too

I refuse to watch Favre tonight. I already read the "highlights". Well you know what, regardless of who is lying, the bottom line is this:

1)Favre wants out.

2)Packers won't release him.

3)Favre has no leverage.

Done.

All-Star Game v. NCAA Football 2009

I am going to breathe a deep sigh SERENITY NOW!!!, and change the topic here for a second while I watch televised batting practice (I mean, who doesn't like to hear Berman scream "Back, back, back, back, GONE!, 400 times?) to bring forth a delimma I am facing tomorrow.

See, tomorrow is MLB's All-Star game, where my current favorite Brewer (Braun) and one of my other favorites (Big Ben) are starring. Big Ben is getting the start, which is incredible for a Brewer to be a starting pitcher in my lifetime.

Also, tomorrow, NCAA Football '09 is coming out. Which I am rather excited about.

I need to decide what to do with my precious free time. A game like this doesn't come out every day. But the All-Star game is the only real all-star game, and is usually entertaining. I realize the game will be there the next day, but there is nothing like busting open that package and playing a game for about 6 straight hours, and staying up way past your bedtime (which today is about 10). Also, I am pretty worked up about flying out of work as early as I can to get it.

I am leaning towards watching the All-Star game until Sheets and Braun are gone (which should be about the 3rd inning), playing at least one game, then hope to split-screen it for the last inning or two.

If I was Favre I would tell my boss to fucking pay me to take the day off to play the game, then I would fly to NY to see the game while playing on the plane, then I would take a shit on my bosses desk on Wednesday to thank him. And I'm not bitter.

Favre's Fox Interview

Here's a little excerpt from the fox interview that will be aired tonight..

"According to Fox representatives, Favre said he did not want to be traded because that would cede control to the Packers."

Oh really Brett? You don't want to cede control of your football career to the Packers? Hmmm well then maybe you shouldn't have signed a contract with them. They paid you 13 million dollars a year for the last god knows how many years and because they did that you've become their property on the football field. It's really just that simple. My god he is being an irrationally whiny bitch about this whole situation. If he does nothing to change his stance from here on out, he's ruined his legacy as a Packer in my opinion. He's the next Javon Walker. Or did Favre already forget about what he said during Walker's holdout 3 years ago?

Good thing the internet doesn't forget Brett. You hypocritical baby.

""Nowadays you're seeing more and more guys pulling that stunt," Favre said. "If guys continue to do that and are successful getting away with it, then I'll be gone, but I think the game will be ruined. My reaction to Javon's situation was, 'Here we go again.'

"Javon has tremendous potential. We got to see some of that last year. The sky's the limit for that guy, and I'd be the first to defend him, but he's going about it the wrong way. What happened to honoring your contract and saying, 'Let's work as a team to see if we can get this done?' Why not go about it that way?

"Maybe I'm old-school, but I always thought you honor a contract. Sure, sometimes guys pass you up in salary, and maybe it's a lesser player, but it's all based on what a team has as far as value in that person. "I sure hope the Packers don't give into him," Favre said."


You're right Brett, I sure hope the Packers don't give into him.

500th straight Favre Post

I would say in general, I hate people. Not all people. I don't hate educated people. By educated, I don't really mean college-educated. I hate plenty of college-educated people. I hate plenty of non-school educated as well. By educated, I think I mean, that you have the common sense to not be a total fucking waste of space.

There seem to be a group of people out there, infesting the state of Wisconsin, and wasting Internet bandwidth and the air I breathe. These fucking useless assholes are not only wrong, but they are stupid. I more than anyone appreciate the 1st amendment, and believe that you can generally say anything you want. So I can't begrudge these people from thinking and saying what they want. But they couldn't be further from right.

These stupid fuckholes seem to think that because they own shares of the Packers that they somehow have the right to control personnel decisions. This is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. They are saying ridiculous shit like "we are calling an emergency stockholder meeting", and "Last time we checked, it is a publicly owned franchise, and not owned by Ted Thompson." FUCK! I mean the sheer stupidity is incredible. Look, you are right, Thompson doesn't own the team. But here are the facts:

FACT: Thompson wanted Favre back all along, and bent over backwards to try to get him to come back.

FACT: Favre is still welcome on the team (not really, but technically)

FACT: Favre is the one who doesn't want to come back here.

FACT: Ownership and personnel decisions aren't the same thing. Some asshole that owns 1 share of Apple doesn't get to decide whether their top designer should be allowed back after he quits. The FUCKING person that makes personnel decisions does. Who in this case is Ted Thompson.

FACT: These idiots don't understand how a) a corporate structure works and b) how the Packers corporate structure works. The way it works is that the shareholders elect a board of directors, who elect and executive board, who hires a President/CEO (Mark Murphy) who hires a GM (Thompson) who "hires" coaches and players. In the case of the Packers, the shares aren't publiclly traded, and I'm not aware that they even truly elect people for the board. I believe that the current board nominates, and the shareholders "cast a vote" to put them in. But I don't think Dickface McGee can nominate himself, because otherwise it would happen all the time. My uncle Dan would be president. The people that end up on the board are rich, successful business people and other important people in the city. The shares aren't really shares at all, they are really just a fundraising mechanism, and a cool thing to hang on the wall. Shareholders get no profits, they get the privilege of helping the TEAM stay in GB. They don't have any say in anything really. Essentially, by trying to stage a revolt against the TEAM, they are saying that one player is more important than the desires and intelligence of the very people that the franchise that has been around for nearly 90 years, has found fit to hire.

So fucking find something better to do with your time. Or give me your fucking season tickets. This is just so incredibly frustrating. AND FAVRE DOESN'T FUCKING EVEN WANT TO PLAY HERE!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

I am going to the website mentioned, which I won't post here because perhaps these assholes are just trying to make money on the rest of the morons (which for that I guess I give them a bunch of credit), but I refuse to post to them; and I'm going to call them out as dipshits and tell those stupid fucks to give me thier tickets when the Pack does the right thing.

I love Stephen A.???

Unreal. I don't think Stephen A. Smith has ever said anything that I absolutely agree with. I am just going to play this when someone asks my opinion.

More 4

I would take the distraction of Jason Taylor over the distraction of Brett Favre in a second.

In reality, we probably would be better off with Favre than Rodgers. But the way dickhead went about it, there is no way Thompson could let that happen.

A few other things: I would like to thank ESPN for making Thomspon look as creepy as possible and Favre as innocent as possible on the front page right now. Clearly you can see who's side they are on.

For a very good run-down of what a fucktaster Favre has been since the NFC championship game was over, and how his claim that the Packers don't love him is fucking bullshit and he's got some type of complex that only Peter King can fix, check this out on JSOnline. Thompson has said all of the right things, whether or not he means them.

Dilemma

The way I see it, the Packers have an incredible opportunity. They can trade away one of the best over-the-hill/indecisiveness quarterbacks of all time in exchange for this ferocious defensive lineman that strikes fear into the hearts of quarterbacks...

I do agree that Favre really fucked over the organization. I really do. Let me ask you 2 questions however.

1) Did you really think Brett Favre was going to leave the game after throwing that shitty interception into the flats in the NFC Championship game? If someone else had been responsible for losing that game, I guarantee he stay retires.

2) Do you really want to place the fate of your 2008 season in the hands of a porn-stash unproven qb who looks like he has been taking Anti-weight gainer since joining the league?

Attention: Do the right thing - Trade Favre and help the Dolphins. I cannot stomach another 1-15 season.

Touche

The above is the response from the Packers to Favre. God I love the Packers.

Me /punch, kick...Dead Horse/ ouch

I am consumed by this. And I can't stand it. What I also can't stand is that 70.6% of the people that read the Green Bay Press-Gazette online are fucking morons. I am going to go put my name on the season ticket list right now.

My message to that 70.6%: When the Packers do the right thing (they better), Put your money where your mouths are fuckfaces. Don't fucking show up. Don't pretend you love the team. Don't come around to church in your Favre jerseys and your Packer Zubaz. Fucking stand outside and protest, and give your season tickets to me. Clearly you are Favre fans and not Packer fans.

My eyes are bleeding

I am emailing myself this from work at about 3:20 CST, because I just heard the news and I am too upset to work anymore and I wanted to get this out while it is fresh in my mind. My first thought is that Favre is a fucking crybaby and should shut the fuck up. It basically sounds like he retired, then changed his mind, and sort of let it be known that he might want to come back, and because Thompson, McCarthy, the starting offensive line and Justin Timberlake didn't drive down to Mississippi in the Madden Cruiser to take turns getting on thier knees to beg him to come back all while deep throating his balls. Now he is asking to be released because he was so good for so long, and they owe him. Well fuck you you fucking asshole.

I guess he played for free all these fucking years. And I guess Tom, Dick, Harry, Mary Jane Rottencrotch and myself didn't spend our hard earned and pretty fucking small paychecks as often as possible to watch him play on Sunday. But you're right, you work so much fucking harder than us, and did so much more for the Green Bay fucking Packers (who have been around since fucking 1919 and won 11 fucking championships before he showed up by the way) than they did for him (even though he was quickly on his way to drinking his way out of the league when we traded for him in 1992). FUCK!

I would be remiss if I said Favre wasn't great, wasn't a Hall of Famer, wasn't possibly the best Packer ever to play, and didn't help bring us back from the shitter as a franchise. But he's just one guy. He doesn't play defense, he doesn't coach and he doesn't block. He had help. I would argue Wolf, Holmgren and White were just as if not more important to that title and his MVPs. The only thing you can't argue about was Favre's longevity which was ridiculous.

I am a GREEN BAY PACKER fan. I root for people who wear their uniform. Some (Favre) are better than others (Dilweg). Favre just happened to play QB for my favorite team for the majority of my life, and I had the good fortune to see him in person about 13 or 14 times and he had the good fortune to have a good team around him, stay healthy and be fucking good. But, let it be known, if he ends up playing for anyone else, ESPECIALLY Chicago, Minnesota or Detroit, I will fucking hate him more than any other player that has ever played. He makes Benedict Ryan Longwell look innocent. I will pray for him to be hit by a car. Just like I do weekly for Adrian Peterson and Rex Grossman (he does a pretty good job of sucking balls himself). One man is not above the team.

After saying all of that, the Packers response should be FUCK YOU. (UPDATE: Actually, it was lick the back of my nuts, but we will always love you.) Favre could not have possibly handled this any worse. He is now a white Chad Johnson, but you won't hear anyone say it. He is another guy in a long line of guys who ask for their releases or ask to be traded, and hopefully he is another one that gets rejected. This is NOT the Packers fault in any way. Favre fucking retired. He cried. Whether they rented him 12 Asian hookers to try to stop him from retiring, I dunno, but it isn't their decision to make. If he hadn't retired, we wouldn't be here today. I would be blissfully happy to have him under center, looking forward to a successful season, and dreading next offseason when he took four months to make up his mind again. Favre has every right to change his mind I suppose.

(UPDATE#2: HOLY FUCKING SHIT. IF THIS IS TRUE, DOUBLE EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THINKING HE IS A FUCKING ASSHOLE. Check this shit: In late March during the NFL Owners Meeting, Favre informed the team he wanted to play again, multiple sources have told FOXSports.com. Not only did he insist he was returning, both head coach Mike McCarthy and GM Ted Thompson agreed that he still had something left and they would welcome him back. Despite the fact that those close to Favre have stated Thompson did not want Favre back, Thompson was the deciding factor in agreeing it was not too late to have him un-retire at that time and start for the Packers in 2008.
In fact, team brass went as far as chartering a jet to fly to Mississippi to make it official later that week. The agreement was that the NFL's all-time leading passer would return for the year but help make it easier and palatable for Rodgers, who would have to wait another season to take the helm.
The group was set for this huge move when Favre suddenly phoned the team two days before the meeting was to take place and informed McCarthy that he had changed his mind yet again and was staying retired. While team officials were stunned by Favre's reversal, they made the decision to move on and draft his replacement, a move that Favre at the time understood. The Packers selected two quarterbacks in April's draft, Louisville's Brian Brohm in the 2nd round and LSU's Matt Flynn in the 7th round. But if he decides to come back, it is not the organizations fault, it is Favre's. )

I think the biggest thing here is, the organization has moved on psychologically, and so have alot of fans. It isn't fair to anyone involved to think they should do fucking backflips when he feels like he might, possibly, eventually, think about coming back. Ted Thompson needs to do what is best for the team and right now (even though this is an assumption that everyone is making, and we have no idea what the truth really is) he feels like that is to treat Favre like any other player. He hasn't jumped when Favre said, and Favre is bitching like a whiny girl. Thompson feels like Favre isn't above the team, and at this point he may feel like things have progressed to far to go back. (AND THAT FUCKING PRICK CHANGED HIS MIND ONCE ALREADY. SEE ABOVE) The best real life example I have heard to compare this situation to is when a hot girlfriend dumps you, you grieve, you mourn, you get all fucked up, make out with a few randoms, but eventually you find someone you think you can be happy with and you settle down a bit, only to have that hot ex-girlfriend expect you to drop everything when she gets done fucking a bunch of dudes with 13 inch cocks and take her back. It's not fair. Of course the hot ex will then file some bullshit domestic violence charge against you to top it all off, and then try to hook up with your most hated rival in front of you.

I believe the Packers should make Favre continue to look like the idiot (except to all of the uneducated dipshits around here, who apparently weren't really Packer fans because they are going to follow #4 wherever he goes), and make him force the issue. When he demands to be put on the roster or released (which he hasn't done) they should cut their 5th string left guard and put him on the roster. Then they should try to work out a trade where it fits GB the best, and where he isn't going to show up in a game against GB. If they can't trade him, make him show up to training camp or be fined. Make him hold a fucking clipboard all season if you have to. Or better yet, make him inactive every week so there isn't a sideshow for the fans. And fucking pay him his salary every year. He has no leverage here whatsoever, just like any other player. I realize that roster spots are very valuable, but send him a message that he either sits and collects his money, or he plays where the Packers tell him to play. He signed the contract, he has to honor it. What he is doing is terrible and wrong, and is tearing Packer Nation apart at the seams. He doesn't give a shit about them, and he never did.

He is ruining my life and some of the greatest sports memories I have ever had. It is like turning 20 and finding out that your dad was cheating on your mom with a dude for your whole life. It will be a really long time before I get over this. If he goes to a rival, it will be years before I can remember him fondly.

UPDATE #3: It appears that most of my rant was jumping the gun, and the Pack agree with me. It really, really, pisses me off that he was all set to come back in March, then changed his mind, and changed it back. I really hope this shuts all of the Ted Thompson haters the fuck up. All of you can put on your Baltimore Ravens or Tampa Bay Buccaneer Favre jerseys, and give me your fucking Packer season tickets so I can enjoy the greatest franchise on planet earth.

Reason for Mota shitting the bed Wednesday

Suddenly, with one quote from a JSOnline article, the reason for Yost deciding that Mota would be serviceable enough to enter a one run game was revealed.

"Manager Ned Yost said he voted so much his “eyes got crossed two or three times” from staring at the screen. Kristina Hart voted thousands of times and Attanasio voted around 50 times, but his wife, Debbie, voted about 700 times."

The dumb fucker couldn't even see straight, he probably didn't even turn in a lineup for those 3 games, he just let Simmons take care of that while the "big boys" were busy voting on the interweb.

Pretty Awesome

I agree with most of this. Other than hating Favre, I can't really do that. But its fucking funny anyway.

I guess there is one decent guy on earth named Bush

Bush (W, 5-8) 8.0 IP, 3H, 1R, 0ER, 0BB, 13K

Are you fucking kidding me? When did Dave Bush kill Nolan Ryan and take his soul? I really don't have a whole lot more to say, but holy shit.

Corey Hart is going to the all-star game. Good. He deserves it more than that asshole Soriano.

I heard a funny rumor today: J.J. Hardy for A.J. Burnett. You can never have enough pitching. The Brewers have a SS in AA that might be able to play right now in Alcides Escobar. A.J. Brunett really isn't that great. He strikes out alot of guys, but his ERA is around 5, and I believe he has a history of injuries. He would be at best our #3 guy, and is making 13 mil this year. J.J. is a great fielder, probably just average at the plate (although he is very streaky, and can go on a ridiculous streak like he is on right now). But the Crew owns him for quite a while yet, and although he will get paid in arbitration, I dunno how much he will actually get. Tough decision I guess, even though it might not be true. This is at least the second Hardy rumor I've heard in a month, so I would bet there is at least a chance they are shopping him while he is hot.

Matt Jones is on coke? You don't fucking say? Tall white guys with long hair NEVER end up in their cars cutting cocaine with a credit card.

Richie Sexson got cut. He used to be really good for the Brewers. (Roids?) Bear will be lobbying for him to replace Prince.

Finally I heard this on the radio today. It will never get old. "Andrew Bo-GOT" and "Wayne Summers"

Did you hear about that asshole 'Husker fan that put out the fake story about the Oklahoma QB's selling coke, and a bunch of Texas news people ran with it? Fucking stupid Husker fan. I had to put up with your shit for 3 fucking glorious years. You and your missing teeth are the only thing I don't miss about living in Omaha. That and not getting to watch every Brewer game and having to sit in a bar to watch every Packer/Badger game. But mostly, Husker Nation and Big 12 country was about the most annoying shit ever. So delusional, such a sense of entitlement, since Dr. Tom Osborn was pulling murderers and rapists off the street to "give them an education", and winning a shitload of national titles, you HAVEN'T BEEN ANY FUCKING GOOD SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Seriously, this is what I dealt with on a daily basis.

Mota

I'd love to say we should cut the son of a bitch right now, but he's due 3.2 mill, at least this is the last year of his contract. Which by the way was a stellar signing by the Mets. 2 years, 5 million, Mota spent 50 games last season on suspension and only had to pitch well for 20 games this year to cash in on a fat 5 spot. I say we make him start tomorrow and pitch him until his arm falls off, that way ned yost will never again be tempted to put him in a game again when we are within 10 runs, down or up.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I learned from PTI today that it is Oage's birthday today. He is 61 years young. Here's to at least 50 more years and 13 or 14 more murder trials.

PS. CC yesterday?= Meh. He was alright. Not spectacular, but he has a way about him that makes his K's dynamic.

PPS. FUCK the Cubs. I hope Rich Harden gets his arm eaten off by a fucking billy goat.

CC! CC! CC! CC!

The state of Wisconsin has come down with a fever, and the only cure is more CC. People are walking around with hard-ons and doing nothing but talk about the round mound of strikeout. And by people I mean me. It is so big that the artist formerly known as #4 is only the second thing out of everyone's mouth. The Crew apparantly sold 27,000 tickets in the past 24 hours (and they average 3,000 a day). It is so big that I have set my DVR so I don't miss a pitch. Of course, this will probably completely backfire and they will finish 5 out, and LaPorta will go to the hall of fame.

BF Sabathia and Draft Update

-I am having stomach pains over the possibility of a certain Cy Young winning pitcher joining the Crew in the next few days. Reportedly, it is coming today or tomorrow. The more I think about it, the more I think giving up LaPorta isn't that big of a deal. They haven't been to the playoffs in 26 fucking years, and they can't keep looking to the future to get things done. It sucks that they will end up with nothing if there is no playoff appearance.

-Three teams have named their keepers so far in the marathon OJSFA draft. The results so far:

Team from St. Paul (Spider Pigs): Frank Gore, Ryan Grant, Granmama
My Brother (Shaun Alexander): T.O., Reggie Wayne, Joe Addai
Me (The White Broncos): Marshawn Lynch, Tony Simpson-Romo, Marion the Barbarian

No real surprises. The defending champ really didn't have anything else on his team. McNabb somehow taped together his knees and led him to a title last year. He did make Steve Smith available. A little surprisingly, my brother (who's team name is Shaun Alexander) didn't keep Shaun Alexander. He also had to let go T.J. Whosyomamma. He was desperately trying to unload a receiver for a RB, but I beat him to the punch.

I had a semi-tough decision. I ended up setting loose Braylon Edwards, Andre Johnson, WELKAH and Reggie Bush. I had ZERO repeat keepers. People laugh about Reggie Bush, but he had over 70 catches last year. And he is fucking Kim Kardashian.

I just pulled off the Kobe Bryant Award of the year (one way or the other) by trading for the man and the teeth above. I gave up Larry Fitzgerald for Marshawn Lynch. For those who don't know, the Kobe Bryant Award is given out for the biggest ass raping trade of the year. Past winners include:

2006: Tom Brady/Andre Johnson for Shaun Alexander
2007: Torry Holt for Lawrence Maroney

Doom and Gloom

I went from celebrating a pretty darn good road trip in my head, to nearly crashing my car as I listened to the bullpen ruin a perfectly good day. I haven't heard any Yost comments yet, but imagine it sounded something like "Fuck you."

What the fuck happened to Guillermo Mota? Did Derrick Turnbow paint himself black? I'm not very happy about it.

Good news is there is a 10 game homestand against three shitty teams coming up. Anything less than 7-3 is a failure.

LET'S VENT!!!! VOL 2

What's that? That old fuck is talking about coming back again? Fuck him. If he comes back I am going to impregnate his daughters, and his wife. I'm fucking serious. I was going to let the last three years slide, let bygones be bygones. But this shit cannot stand. What's that? One of them is way underage? Whatever, dude. You act like chicks don't dig me at any age. His wife is all wrinkly and shit too, but whatever. Try me, Brett. Try to take my job.

LET'S VENT!!!!!

I wish I was the guy above right now. If I have to hear ONE more FUCKING rumor that Favre is coming back, I might be that guy. Look, I love Favre about as much a man can love another (I know that I say that quite a bit), but I'm serious. He is maybe the best player in Packer history, but certainly the best in my lifetime (narrowly edging Vince Workman). That being said, as I told a friend earlier, I am boarding a plane to Mississippi right now, along with my good pal A-Rodg to choke the life out the former #4. I don't know if the rumors are true, and they seem to be pretty vague. That, and Favre allegedly told a paper in Mississippi that it is "Just a rumor." But that doesn't make it better for a man that lives in the greater Green Bay area, when I have to listen to this shit. I nearly cried when Favre retired, but there was also a sense of relief in a way, because then I didn't need to stress out every offseason, and I didn't have to go into every season with extremely high expectations. He finally appeared to let go, and A-Rodg was given the keys, and came out of his shell. Now every fuckhead on earth is talking about this big decision that the Pack allegedly has to make. My opinion: There is no decision. He wants to come back, let him. But let him go the way of Joe Montana and do it someplace else. What kind of message does that send the rest of the team if you do whatever Favre wants? What would happen to A-Rodg? There are way too many potential negatives here. I don't want to see Favre play for anyone else, but at this point, I would have a hard fucking time dealing with him playing for the Packers after he ripped my heart out 4 months ago.....unless we won the Super Bowl, then all would be forgiven. But the chances of that are slim. What if time catches up to Favre, they kick A-Rodg in the nuts, and we end up with NO QB in two years? There are too many what-ifs, but I am just SO sick and fucking tired of this shit.

Ultimately, the decision is up to T.T. If he doesn't believe in A-Rodg, then go ahead. Or if you think Brohm is better, then fine I guess. I trust Thompson with my life, unless he needs to be counted on to spend my money, but that is another story. If he decides that, so be it, but that doesn't mean I won't be bitter.

One of those nasty itches

So apparently while the majority of the itching has been isolated to Brett's mosquito bites from mowing his lawn every day, one of those itches has spread to his "need to play football". Al Harris has been quoted as saying Brett's got the VD for the pigskin and he's got it bad.

That shouldn't be a topic of conversation for most of training camp, thus distracting the team from doing what they were supposed to be doing, playing football, right?

Smile, you're unemployed!

I felt compelled to post a rebuttal after Juice's masked cheapshot about my tendency to make shitty transactions in fantasy football (which is actually true for the most part). However, I should be remembered for making one of the most legendary transactions in the history of fantasy football. A move that required massive cahones. A move that would take thick skin to absorb all the unwarrantd criticism from many a Wisconsinite. It happened with the release of a certain #2 OVERALL pick. After missing a few weeks with a cracked foot (or some shit like that) and returning to the lineup I observed that S.A. looked like he was hitting the hole at about the same speed as Matt Hassleback would be. So, I cut the cord and picked up a rookie with 2 first names and a last name in the middle - Maurice Jones Drew. As you all know, these two careers have headed in polar opposite directions since that time. Despite the constant bitching and whining of a certain blogger's brother, I insist this remains one of the greatest proactive moves in all of fantasy football.

Sabathia, Response on Jefferson and Art of Backing Up Home Plate

As I stated earlier Joe took the main topic of mine I wanted to hit on, which is the sheer awesomeness of everything that comes out of A-Rodg's mouth. The man crush is building. If he sucks, I think that would suck. And that is some deep shit right there. Now that I think about it, it has been like 15 years since I had to worry about the QB1 for the Packers sucking balls. This must be what it feels like to be a Bears fan. Stay tuned for more shit to bypass the non-existent filter that runs between A-Rodg's brain and mouth.

I am now going to blatantly lift two items that I read on JS Online today. One was even from Bear's best friend Hardicourt.

1) Hardicourt does a downright shitty job of re-reporting Buster Olney's opinion (which I can't actually find a link to the exact one) that the Brewers have the best chance of trading for Sabathia. Whether or not you agree with him (and Olney actually has legit sources to back up his opinions), Hardicourt's article was terrible. He basically just interviews the GM in the middle of trade season, GM predictably says nothing....and that's it. There is no information there at all.

Here is my take, and I don't have access to a major league GM: I don't see it happening. The Brewers obviously have the ammo to make it work (which Hardicourt does mention). I heard they had ELEVEN all-stars in AA, which is ridiculous. Problem is, I don't think they are convinced that they are set at the major league level quite yet, and are trying to decide who they will eventually pay and who is expendable. They would need to give up alot of guys to get Sabathia, who ultimately they probably couldn't afford to keep. With the overall financial situation they are faced with, it is doubtful they pull the trigger.

2) I can't find where I read this earlier, but Richard Jefferson was rated by somebody as the 13th best small forward in the NBA. Which isn't really that great.

3) I also read that Joe Alexander's nickname is "Vanilla Sky" because of his 30 inch standing vertical. Which is great.

4) Anyone stay up to see the abomination that was Dave Bush not really trying, and completely forgetting to back up a throw from RF to home that resulted directly in a run last night? Fucking fundamentals people. They teach you that shit in little league. He just fucking stood there and pouted when he gave up the hit.

I am torn on the 8:40 p.m start times. On one hand, you can cut the lawn after work or some shit, and not miss the game. On the other hand, you have to stay up way past my bedtime.

Rickie Weeks is out with a "stomach virus" tonight. Or as some shitty NFL announcer might say "He's out with a Dom P." "Stomach virus". Baseball players don't fucking get stomach viruses, they get deadly hangovers.

A-Rod

"I don't feel I need to sell myself to fans. They need to get on board now or keep their mouths shut."

God damn I can't wait for this season to start, just for Rodgers quotes alone. I personally welcome Aaron Rodgers as our new overlord and commander... and resident facial hair guru.

Disappointment

When I begged to be added to contribute to this blog, Juicelaw was posting something nearly every 30 minutes and was not bashful of posting cool words like the word "FUCK" throughout the day at work. However, now he has taken a new position at a stuffy law firm (see picture), and understandably so, is a bit nervous of checking, much less contributing to the blog throughout the day in fear that someone might write the word FUCK in giant letters and cost him his job. I respect his position, but it is very disappointing for someone like me who hardly ever has clients any more, doesn't have an office internet policy and likes to frequent the blog in search of Juice's patented comedy and sarcasm. Like I said, I understand, but I am deeply disappointed.

On another note, I just got a letter from a bigshot attorney in a big town close to here. One of those "it was a pleasure to meet you at the CLE the other day, if you are ever interested in going to lunch" type of letters. I think (hope) he is possibly trying to recruit me to his firm. Either that or he is gay and is trying to seduce me. As long as I get a different job, I'm gay, umm, I mean game.

My on base percentage is now .982 in our slow-pitch co-ed league and my batting average is roughly .850. First game I was 1-2 with a single and reached on an error. Second game I was 3-3 with a single, inside the park home run, a triple and 5 RBIs. That's right boys, GLORY DAYS. And yes, I understand how sad my athletic career has become that I have to brag about slow-pitch softball on an internet blog.

Butt-stink really choked in the clutch last night. What were the odds that he would ground out to the shortstop to end the game? 1:1?