Saturday, July 4, 2009

Bill Welke Was Late For His Eye Exam



First of all, I was unaware that bears had the opposable thumbs necessary to operate a remote control. I assumed you just ambled around town, eating random hobos, stumbling into bars where you were fed beer out of sheer terror.

That was Bucks-Sixers 2001 level officiating by Bill Welke in the 10th innning yesterday. That pitch that was called ball four was right down the fucking middle. I wish I could get a screen grab of the GameDay Pitch by Pitch from MLB.com. Because it would show a green circle right in the middle of the strike zone. It is insane to end a major league baseball game on a call like that. It is pretty hard for a baseball umpire to decide a game, but I think he did on this one. Mr. Welke quickly retired to his home in suburban Chicago, while the 30 some odd thousand in attendance went home happy that they were able to witness such a sterling performance by a game official. Because that is what they paid for. Did I mention that I hate the motherfucking Cubs?

I won't see today's inevitable loss. I'm going to my grandparent's cottage for the day to cheat on my diet (6 pounds left) and drink just enough that I am safe to drive home at night.

In other news, I inadvertently started a major coup in my other fantasy baseball league with the old dudes (currently in 6th place out of 12 despite three guys having made nearly TWO HUNDRED roster moves and me making like 30). I openly bitched about paying for the "PLUS" league, and how it was fucking useless. And how live scoring in baseball is stupid. I immediately got 5 responses bitching at me, and 5 agreeing vehemently. Live scoring in baseball is a fucking waste, in the same way that it is spectacular in football (and now free!). I'm pretty sure I disbanded that long running league yesterday. Which is awesome.

I am going to go put on my Uncle Sam hat and jack off into the flag. Happy 4th!!

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