Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Letter to Ned Yost

Dear Ned,
 
I am writing concerning the game last night in which I performed spectacularly.  Not only did I get the toughest workout of my career on the mound, but I also held a bat admirably.  I also aided CC in drinking 52 cups of Gatorade and eating 19 brats.  And that was only through 8 innings.  Just when I took a deep breath, after I had been put through 110 unnatural motions, you sent CC out for the ninth inning with a 7 run lead, and a not overworked bullpen.  This led of course to the defense booting one behind me, and several infield hits, which caused CC to labor even more.  In all I exerted myself 130 times, which is the most I have ever done.  After the game, CC couldn't lift me over his head.  In the clubhouse, my life ended when I fell off during CC's reach for this 9th slice of pizza.  Thanks alot asshole.
 
Eat Shit,
 
CC Sabathia's left arm
 
(Ed. Note:  Seriously Neddy, you are playing with fucking fire here.  I realize you don't need to worry about him long term because he won't be your problem, but if you run his injury prone ass into the ground by September 1st, I don't like our chances.  That being said, expect Ned to go with a 3 man rotation starting Sept. 1, with CC, Sheets and Manny pitching every three days.)

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