Dear Ned,
I am writing concerning the game last night in which I performed spectacularly. Not only did I get the toughest workout of my career on the mound, but I also held a bat admirably. I also aided CC in drinking 52 cups of Gatorade and eating 19 brats. And that was only through 8 innings. Just when I took a deep breath, after I had been put through 110 unnatural motions, you sent CC out for the ninth inning with a 7 run lead, and a not overworked bullpen. This led of course to the defense booting one behind me, and several infield hits, which caused CC to labor even more. In all I exerted myself 130 times, which is the most I have ever done. After the game, CC couldn't lift me over his head. In the clubhouse, my life ended when I fell off during CC's reach for this 9th slice of pizza. Thanks alot asshole.
Eat Shit,
CC Sabathia's left arm
(Ed. Note: Seriously Neddy, you are playing with fucking fire here. I realize you don't need to worry about him long term because he won't be your problem, but if you run his injury prone ass into the ground by September 1st, I don't like our chances. That being said, expect Ned to go with a 3 man rotation starting Sept. 1, with CC, Sheets and Manny pitching every three days.)
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