Preview of Schmock's Funeral and Fake Gambling Advice

First, the picks:

Last week plus Vegas: 9-7
Season: 50-42
All-Time: 184-168-2

Atl (-10), GB (-9.5), Mia (+10.5), Jax (-6.5), Hou (+9), Cin (+3), Ari (+3), NO (-13.5), Sea (-10), NYG (-4.5), SF (-4), Phi (-3), Den (+3)

THE DEATH OF A FRIEND:

If not at the wedding this weekend, please pour some out for our fallen comrade. This is nothing personal against his fiance, who is a lovely woman, but it just is what it is.

I'll be heading off to the various Madison suburbs around noon on Friday so that I can learn how to show people where to sit, eat some free food, and sleep in a strange bed. I hope someone besides me is staying the hotel Friday night so I have an excuse to be hung over for the wedding. My guess is going to be not, since everyone else in the wedding either lives near Madison, or has a free room at their parent's house somewhere.

Regardless of Friday, I am going to get fucking shitfaced on Saturday. And that is a promise. Not that it should be any real surprise. My prediction is that the highlight will be Richard passed out with his head between the elevator doors, and it constantly trying to shut on it, but reopening each time it hits his head. Going to be great. Also, if this hotel is the one I think it is, I believe it is within walking distance of Margaritaville, which is going to sound like a fantastic plan at midnight when the wedding is done. I look forward to vomiting tequila. (ED. NOTE: Wrong hotel. No Margaritaville. My mistake. I will have to settle for vomiting beer.)

BADGERS

Schmock was selfish enough to schedule his wedding on a Badger game day, but good enough to schedule it on a game when the Badgers played Indiana, which may or may not be a real team. Badgers 41, Hoosiers 10.

PACKERS

Same thing. It is going to be a "game time decision" on whether I go dark until I get home and watch the game on TV, or listen to Wayne Larivee on the radio. I suppose it is possible we would be home by noon, but obviously that is no guarantee. In other news, if the Packers don't win Sunday, I think it would be safe to say that a deposit on playoff tickets won't be necessary. The Bucs are fucking 1979 terrible. Something named Josh Freeman will be making his first NFL start. Packers 41, Bucs 10.