Monday, November 9, 2009

The Wedding: A review

There is an outside chance that I have a .09 BAC right now. I haven't had a drink in approximately 34 hours. That is how much I had to drink on Saturday. As is typically the case with a function that involves anyone from the greater-Madison area, I was drunk when I woke up yesterday. My wife and I tag teamed the drive home because neither could stay awake with any real success. My liver had a cigarette while I was in the shower this morning. He is unhappy with the decisions I made. From my vague recollection, here are some of those decisions:

1) Drinking about a bottle of champagne on the bus.
2) Drinking two scotch ales at Great Dane
3) Drinking a whole bottle of wine at the reception
4) Drinking about 30 Spotted Cows
5) Drinking about 10 shots
6) Somehow navigating myself across Hwy 151 (6 lanes) after the reception in efforts to find a bar to close.
7) Giving up when Richard was clearly incapable of reading the GPS on his iPhone (somehow I recall it telling us we were "inside a bar" when clearly we were not), and going to Denny's instead.
8) Eating a "Grandslamwich" at Denny's
9) All sorts of other drunken asshattery that I don't remember.

Yesterday was the longest day of my life. Great time at the wedding. Seriously, nobody is allowed to get married for like 2 more years so I can recover. I'm never drinking again. I'm going to go puke now.

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