The Bourne Thievery

-Last night on the Brewers telecast, Bill Schroeder, on more than one occasion, referred to Astros OF Michael Bourn as Jason Bourne. I think this shows that Bill has the same 12 year-old brain that is shared by my wife and I who had been making that joke all season.

-Our "leadoff" hitter is 0-7, 3K, HBP in last two games. I'm just sayin'. And I thought it was interesting to note that Weeks leads the league in HBP, and is second in outs. (To be fair he is 9th in runs too, but that probably has to do with the HBP. And Braun hitting behind him.)

-"The Committee" is 5-1. Gagne is 11-7.

-Did anyone see Ted Simmons and Ned Yost screaming at each other in the dugout? I swear Teddy called Neddy a faggot as he was leaving.

-I am about to run 6 miles. It was nice knowing you.

-I am not at all looking forward to the three week media fellatio that is going to be the Lakers-Celtics NBA Finals. I am openly rooting for the Lakers, even though I hate them too. I just can't stand Boston fan.

-Songs for Twins: Brian Bass: "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash-- "Bass. White lines, blowing through my mind."

I Came To Hear The Music

My season ticket partner and I have been trying to come up with theme songs for each member of the Twins. I don't mean songs that would be inspiring or fitting for each player or their style of play; rather they should be songs that the players' name can be substituted in to. Here's what we got so far:

Nick Blackburn - The Beatles "Blackbird". Blackburn pitching in the dead of night.

Livan Hernandez - Bon Jovi "Livin' On A Prayer". Whooah, we're half way there. Livan on a prayer!

Joe Mauer - Hank Williams, Sr. "Jambalaya". Midway Joe he gotta go, me oh my oh.

Mike "The Hammer" Lamb - MC Hammer "U Can't Touch This". Break It Down. Stop. Hammer time!

Matt Tolbert - The Cranberries "Zombie". He's in your head. In your head. Tolbert, Tolbert, Tolbert!!!

Carlos Gomez - Andrew Lloyd Webber - "Go, Go, Go Joseph". Go, go, go Gomez you know what they say. Go, go, go Gomez you'll make it some day.

Justin Morneau - ACDC "Thunderstruck". This is a play off of his nickname that only four or five people know.

Delmon Young - Harry Belafonte "Banana Boat". Delmon come and he want a home run.

We still have to come up with songs for Brian Bass, Jesse Crain, Matt Guerrier and the rest of the Twins so anything that Bear of Juice can do to help would be great. This plea goes to our readers as well. Suggestions can be made in the comment section.

"The Committee" v. Eric Gagne Update

Solomon Torres has been solid after being named head of "The Committee". The Committee is now 4-1 and Gagne is 11-7.

(Honestly, Billy Hall is the luckiest guy alive based on last night. And Yost tried SO hard to lose that game too.)

"I hit baseball." "Baseball been berry good to me."

This just in Sammy Sosa is planning to retire....in 2009. Um, I just lost a bet. I had at least $1000 on him being dead. Well, I suppose it is time for me to consider retirement from baseball as well. Just let it be know that at this time, I, like Sammy, am NOT "begging for a contract."

Memo To Bill Smith

With the AL Central title available to anyone who wants to take it, I think it's time for the Twins to address some of their shortcomings; the most glaring of which, is third base. Mike Lamb is currently hitting .238/.273/.320 and it's becoming increasingly clear that he is best used as a part time player. I know that completing a trade is a lot more complicated than the average blogger would like, but maybe the Twins should take a look at this guy or this guy. Or maybe they should just call up him or him. All four of these guys should be able to put up comparable numbers to "The Hammer", with the plus side being that they might actually improve (what a novel concept). Alas, it is well known that the most important statistic for Ron Gardenhire (especially for position players) is service time, so it's hard to believe that anything is actually going to happen. After all, Mike Lamb has a track record.

Billy Hall Will Do My Dirty Work For Me

"Going on the last four years, nothing makes sense" --Billy Hall

Not exactly a ringing endorsement for Neddy. I like it.

One Bastard's Illegitimate Thoughts

-Saw that Denise Richards's show on E! last night. Verdict? She is a terrible human being. Most of these stupid "celebreality" shows tend to humanize these "stars", and make them seem like real people. Likable even. Not so with Ms. Richards. Not only was every other word out of her mouth FUCK (which normally I like), but she was one of those snooty bitches that couldn't bring herself to date a "normal" guy. She had to date someone famous. Fucking get over yourself you stupid whore, the only reason you or any of these guys are "famous" is because you a) laid down for the right guy, b)swallowed, c)got lucky or d)had rich parents. Rant over.

-I saw Shelly Smith of ESPN on ESPNEWS a few minutes ago. I am more convinced than ever that she is undergoing a sex change operation. I used to think she was just an unattractive woman, no I'm not so sure. PS. I'm sure she is a fantastic journalist.

-Neddy gave up on batting the pitcher 8th "even though it is working great". Seriously, shut the fuck up.

- Russell Branyan has struck out in 5 of his last 6 at bats. His case for being a better option against righties than Billy is looking dubious.

- Actual quote from my brother during the 8th yesterday after I bitched to him about Yost not taking out Shouse when pitching to Da Meat Hook, and giving up the tying homer: "I actually think he's a switch hitter. Either way, I think Yost saw something shiny in the stands."

-I have completely ignored the Conference finals in the NBA.

-Brewers need to win a minimum of 5 out of 9 on this homestand for me to not drive down to Milwaukee and strangle Yost out of his job. I say only 5 because the teams they play are pretty tough.

Things You Should Pay Somone Else To Do

- The wife and I spent 14 hours on Friday and Saturday landscaping around our house. We only almost got divorced once. If I had known then, what I know now, I can guarantee you I would have found a way to pay someone else to do it. Two days later, I am having a hell of a time typing because my hands hurt so bad from hand digging the trench around my house to put in the edging. I also realize that they have tools that one could have used to do this, but I was trying to do it as cheaply as possible. I'm just sayin' pay someone.

- The Brewers may want to pay someone to manage their baseball team as well. I hypothesized before they left for Pittsburgh that if they didn't win at least 4 games on the roadie, Neddy should be toast. Today seems to be the big day. Seven games against perennial bottom-feeders. If you are supposed to be a playoff contender, you should be able to win 4 of 7, if you are playing on the fucking moon. The inconsistencies haven't been fixed. The ginger appears to be our second best pitcher. Yesterday, Neddy trotted out FOUR bench players on the same day. Billy Rob Deer Hall finds himself in a platoon because he has come down with Geoff Jenkins syndrome (can't hit same handed pitching at all, destroys opposite hand pitching). The players haven't performed, people are starting to get injured. I understand all or even most of this isn't Neddy's fault, but I think the players need a) a new voice, b) to understand that there will be repercussions for playing like shit. Neddy has a leash that is way too long and he is too stubborn and defensive to get it done. Maybe they will be worse off with a new manager. Then Melvin and the players can go next. But if anyone in the organization believes this group can win now, then a change should be made soon.

-Weeks Watch (last 3 games): 2-10, BB, 5K (Season: .207/.706)

-The Rob Deer Watch is over. Platoon players aren't going to lead the team in K's

-7% chance for playoffs

- Once again, starting a new job tomorrow. I am completely unsure what their Internet policies are. My old job had none. This new job is so different from what I was doing before it is going to be like the Brewers deciding tomorrow to convert Gabe Kapler into a starting pitcher. Which at this rate might happen next week anyway.

8 Arms of Injustice

The NHL has banned the throwing of octopi on the ice, thus infuriating many fans of the Detroit Red Wings. This would just make me want to throw them farther and with greater frequency (and maybe even for no reason). I dislike pointless rules.

That's More Like It & Quote of the Day

First off, the quote: A major league scout told Jayson Stark regarding Prince Fielder: "This guy is so big now, he jiggles. He's enormous. Hey, he's a great hitter. But he's huge."



Now THAT is the Brewer team we all know and love. No starting pitching, and going 2-11 with RISP and leaving 14 on base.



-Weeks Watch: 1-3, HR, 2BB, Season: .208/.709, I am almost ready to get off his ass.



-Billy "Rob Deer" Hall: 3-5, 1K, Season: 9HR (2nd), 48K (1st by 8)

I Knew It!!!

I have been an avid reader of Aaron Gleeman for about a year now. He is, more or less, what I would like to be. A blogger that has achieved notoriety by intelligently discussing the Minnesota Twins and baseball, amongst other topics. He has even used his blogging credibility to get jobs at RotoAuthority.com and MSNBC.com. I usually turn to him to get some insight on the Twins, that I otherwise wouldn't get from espn, the star tribune, Dick & Bert or Dietz. This was the case again tonight when I came across this little nugget:

After collecting multiple hits in each of the past three games, Joe Mauer now leads the AL with a .336 batting average. He also ranks fourth in the league with a .406 on-base percentage and only Kurt Suzuki has logged more innings behind the plate. For all the silly, Dan Barreiro-style talk about Mauer not coming through in the clutch or not making a huge impact because of a lack of power, Mauer ranks third among AL hitters in Win Probability Added, trailing only Manny Ramirez and Josh Hamilton.

Once you adjust for catcher being the worst-hitting position in baseball and throw in his considerable defensive value, a WPA-based analysis likely shows Mauer as the league's most valuable position player thus far. Some homers would certainly be nice, but anyone complaining about a player hitting .330 and getting on base at a .400 clip while playing the most physically demanding, least-offensive position is merely doing a fine job showing how little they really know about baseball.

I knew Butt Stink was having a great season and I knew he was being vastly undervalued. It's time for people to quit worrying about Mauer's home run total and start appreciating his unique (for the Twins) ability to get on base. Too many people (and too many major leaguers) don't seem to realize that the most important aspect of hitting is not getting out. It doesn't matter if this happens by home run or by walk, although home runs are obviously better. Butt Stink seems to get this, I just wish that the fine people at KFAN, and the like, would calm down and realize the caliber of player the Twins have at catcher.

Instant Replay?

About 5 times a year or so there is a media uprising for instant replay in Major League Baseball because the Yankees or Red Sox got screwed out of (or into) a home run. It happened again last night with A-Rod's homerun that was not called. There is always two talking heads screaming at each other about it. One guy is the old school guy who is against it, and one is the younger guy who is for it.

The major arguments against instant replay are: 1)It would ruin the integrity of the game; 2)They didn't need it when Babe Ruth played, why do they need it now?; 3)It would add time to games that are already too fucking long; 4) We couldn't make it perfect, so we should rely on 4 guys (with Coke bottle glasses) randomly positioned 150 ft away from a 9 inch sphere, moving 125 mph, and two men running 15 mph to decide plays that can come down to a fraction of an inch and could eventually cost people millions of dollars.

The major arguments for it: 1)They do it in football and it seems to work OK; 2)Technology exists today that didn't exist 75 years ago, so we should use it (and fuck Babe Ruth); 3) Too many calls are blown that cost teams runs directly, and therefore games; 4) Too much money is riding on the outcome of these games to leave them to chance; 5)When a call is close, they already waste 3 to 5 minutes arguing with players/managers, and by that time the TV booth already knows whether the call was blown or not.

I think it is pretty clear what I think of this. While I admit there is some charm to baseball and the way it is officiated, I think it is stupid to let the umps make the calls, but then show the replay of an obviously blown call on a jumbotron and have the umps pretend they are still right. There are about a million different proposals for instant replay in baseball (much like a college football playoff, and not unsurprisingly, the likelihood of either happening is about as likely as Bear's first born not having fur, sharp teeth and a taste for salmon). Last year, MLB refused to consider even an instant replay of only close HR calls (the only play that ALWAYS changes the scoreboard).

So here is how I would do it:

1) ALL plays would be fair game. I'm talking any play on any base, HR's, close catches/traps in the field, fair/foul, balls and strikes.

2) Each manager gets 3 "challenges" per game. This is similar to the NFL rule. Manager comes out of the dugout or throws a flag or something.

3) There is an independent replay person in the booth at every game. This would not be expensive or time consuming. The cameras are already in place at every game.

4) Balls and strikes would be called base on a standard strike zone (which they are supposed to use anyway). Waist to knees or whatever it technically is. If ESPN/Fox/TBS can put the "K-zone" thing up 5 seconds after a pitch, surely a replay person can have the same technology.

5) I think the largest issue would be: what would happen if a ball that was actually fair was called foul and reversed, or a ball that was ruled an out on a diving catch that was actually trapped was reversed? What happens to the base runners? I think what needs to happen is like old school "lazy-man" baseball. (i.e. The hit would have to automatically be ruled a single, and the runner on base would advance one spot). Obviously, this is still screwing the team that had to challenge. But, a single is better than an out or a foul ball that could later lead to an out.

6) Time wise, this would avoid the manager arguments, ejections, etc. I actually think this could cut time off of a game. I also don't think you would have a big problem with challenging balls and strikes because there are so many calls in a game, I doubt many managers (except Dusty Baker) would waste challenges on those.

7)Umpires would still be integral, but would actually be held accountable in the game for messing up.

I personally don't think it would be that hard to implement, and it would have a great positive effect on the game. Limiting the challenges would avoid a team arguing on every close call, and saving them for key moments. Umpiring would improve, games could be shortened, strike zones would be the same for every pitcher/hitter/umpire. And we wouldn't have to listen to Sox/YanksCenter bitch about another missed HR call.

Quick Brewer Post

-Weeks Watch: 2-5, K, 2R, HR, RBI, SB, 16 Total Pitches (Season: .206/.686) Is he turning the corner?

-ALLEGEDLY, Gagne is injured. Blessing in disguise? I feel that maybe even if one of these lower level guys was given the title of "closer" while Gagne was healthy, they would always be looking over their shoulder because there is a $10M dude sitting behind them that the GM obviously wants to be the guy. It is going to take pressure off them.

-Ryan Braun is spectacular. Big Ben is huge.

-Playoff chances are up to 9%

Like Father Like Son. Hopefully

The Lopez twins' No. 1 fan is their mom, Deborah Ledford, who amazingly shares no resemblance to the gargantuan duo. This just makes you wonder what sort of beast sired these two biological oddities. Apparently, she was quite the collegiate swimmer in her day.

Wheez The Juice

The Timberwolves got exactly what they deserved and "won" the number three pick in the 2008 NBA draft. This would be a lot more exciting if the year was 2003 (Bron Bron, Melo & D-Wade), but it isn't so the Wolves will just have to make due and pick the best available player. A lot of people are surely disappointed, but I tend to agree with the Star Tribune's Jim Souhan's take on the matter.

It doesn't require a lot of research to expose the errors of conventional wisdom. The best player taken in the 2006 draft was, to date, Brandon Roy. He went sixth, to the Wolves -- who then traded him to Portland.

The two best players taken in the 2005 draft were Deron Williams and Chris Paul. They went 3 and 4, behind Andrew Bogut and Marvin Williams. In 2004, Orlando took Dwight Howard first. Andre Iguodala or Al Jefferson are as good as anyone else in that draft, and they went ninth and 15th.

In 2003, Cleveland selected LeBron James first. Dwyane Wade might be the second-best pick in that draft, and he went fifth. David West went 18th. Josh Howard went 29th, three picks after ... oh, never mind.

From 1995 through 2006, the best player in the draft was taken with the first pick only four times -- Tim Duncan in 1997, Elton Brand in 1999, James in 2003 and Dwight Howard in 2004.

Just because the Timberwolves didn't get lucky and land one of the top two spots in the draft, they still have the opportunity to select a potential franchise player. The only negative is that Kevin McHale (I once saw him at Target) will be making this selection. Anyways, here's my run down on some of the players that will be available to the Timberwolves.

Brook Lopez: Ugghhhhhhh!!! This seems to be the popular pick among NBA draft experts. My main question is why. I know that the Timberwolves' two biggest weaknesses are center and point guard, but the last thing we need is a center who will clog up the lane and get in Al Jefferson's way. The Wolves need a center that will block shots and grab rebounds. Conveniently, Brook Lopez does neither of these things very well. They would be better off with his brother.* The fact that I dislike this guy so much, probably assures that he will be the selection.

*If the Wolves draft Brook Lopez at 3, they better do whatever they can to get his brother here too. There's no sense of having just one. Lets go the whole nine yards and milk the annoying Minnesota Twins angle for all that it's worth.

Jerryd Bayless: He's 6'3" and is listed at point guard, so that's a start. The only problem is that he is a scorer first and needs to work on his point guard skills. Great! We already have that player in Randy Foye. There's no need to draft this guy. Next.

Danilio Gallinari: He's a 6'10" point-forward from Italy. No thank you.. The Wolves need a star, not some three point shooting piece of eurotrash. This brings me to...

O.J. Mayo: This is the guy the Timberwolves should draft. He is a 6'5" scoring guard who can pass. He already acts like a star (and gets paid like one) plus he is the only guy on this list that seems dynamic enough to carry a team.

If the Wolves don't draft Mayo, I hope they can trade down and draft one of the lower ranked point guards (Russell Westbrook, D.J. Augustin, Ty Lawson) while picking up more pieces that will actually make me want to watch this team again.

Trivia Question: Who can name the player that Souhan refers to as "oh never mind"?

Who is Seth McClung?

Rather than rehash the entire game from last night's beautiful Brewer win, I thought I would take the opportunity to meet the 6'6" 270 lb. mountain of a man that is Seth McClung.

But first few observations from last night:

-I'm sure someone intelligent will explain this to me, but why did McClung pitch 1 1/3 innings four days before he was going to start?

-Eric Gagne was Eric Gagne last night.

-Weeks Watch: 2-4, K, HBP!, 2R Season: .200 BA, .665 OPS, 734HBP

-Billy "Rob Deer" Hall Update: 2-3, 0HR, 1K Season: .207BA, 9 HR (second), 47K (1st by 9)

-Good win, Yost is safe for another day. But, As The Wolf would say: "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet."

OK, back to the matter at hand. I think putting in McClung isn't a bad move. Carlos has struggled, and McClung gives the Crew a true power pitcher (has thrown in triple digits). He really has generally been very good so far (1-1, 3.54 ERA, 20K in 20 1/3IP, 1.37 WHIP). I guess they really had nothing to lose. So who is he? A few facts about our new starter:

1) It is fitting that he be called a "mountain man" because he is from West Virginia.

2) He is a ginger kid.

3) Career Stats: 18-26, 5.97 ERA, 1.61WHIP, 207K in 283IP, started 37 times for TB

4) He's 27 years old.

5) He eats small children and shits diamonds.

What I was most intrigued by was his ginger status. I wanted to find out the likelihood of him being any good based solely on his red hair. Very quick research located the following MLB "stars" with red hair: Wade Boggs, Mark McGuire (sort of), Rick Sutcliffe. That's the list that I could find in five minutes. If he is as good as Sutcliffe, I'll take it. Clearly he is destined for the hall of fame.

The Morning Dump Vol. 3

- The Brewers playoff chances have fallen to 6.19% by not playing yesterday. No word on whether their chances fell by not firing Neddy yesterday. I have to admit, I got my hopes up. Although he has been brutal, I would have been slightly surprised if the hammer came yesterday. I have fallen short of demanding his head thus far, as he is clearly only part of the problem, but if they don't win 4 of 6 by the end of Sunday I am going to be in full Fire Neddy mode.

- I watched most of the Hornets-Spurs game and was slightly disappointed by the overall game itself. Got pretty good with about 2 minutes left, but the Spurs imposed their will and slowed the game down. Seriously, I might never watch the NBA again (which wouldn't be much less than right now) if the Spurs and Pistons meet in the Finals again.

- I heard the Bucks have a 4.3% chance of getting the number 1 pick tonight at the NBA's Draft Lottery. If they do get it, they will fuck it up somehow and draft Beasley to go with the other 14 SF/PF types they have on their team. And I don't really think Derrick Rose would make me want to watch the Bucks right now. They would need to turn into the Phoenix Suns, which Skiles isn't likely to do.

- I saw Aaron Rodgers on the news last night. He was in some celebrity softball game in GB. His hair is now past his shoulders, and it looks like he hasn't showered in about a month. If he had the 'stache back he would look like he was homeless or a biker. I look for a picture but couldn't find one. Needless to say though, it is ridiculous.

- I bought an Ipod shuffle yesterday because my real Ipod is getting old and malfunctioning when I run with it. It is the size of a postage stamp and fits like 250 songs on it. I am just amazed by it. That being said, I will lose it in the next week.

-Last day on my current job is tomorrow, so as a fair warning, posts are going to be less frequent and at different times starting next week.

Attention Boof Bonser!!!

I'm going to the Dome tonight to watch the Twins take on the Texas Rangers, in what is sure to be a stellar pitching match up between Boof Bonser & Scott Feldman. I'll be in my seat in time for the first pitch (7:10), I just hope that Boof gets the memo as well. He has an annoying habit of showing up in the third inning on days when he is is scheduled to pitch, as evidenced by this:

Boof vs. LA Angels

Boof vs. Kansas City Royals

Boof vs. Detroit Tigers

Boof vs. Boston Red Stockings

Boof vs. Toronto Blue Jays

At least his weight loss has helped him stay in games longer. Too bad it hasn't helped him pitch better.

Response to Bear's Post RE: Hardicourt

This was just going to be a comment, but again it got long.

Hardicourt just put up a follow up in which he did actually contact a "club source" which said they didn't know anything about a managerial change. Which is great information.

Then, he goes into a rant about what an asshole this blogger was. Well, TOM, had you not posted it in the first place, nobody probably would have even read it. Bloggers are generally (I am absolutely included here), by definition, opinions of people who don't have "sources", or whose sites are complete satire. There are a few bloggers that aren't necessarily affiliated with any conglomerate or newspaper that do have sources (i.e. profootballtalk.com) but even they get things wrong and speculate. Very, very hypocritical to post someones "regurgitated shit" as Bear called it, and then rip them for possibly being wrong. I have no problem with him saying there are bloggers stating it, and then checking into it with your sources and then saying they don't appear to be true. But why take the tune he did by calling it "irresponsible"? This appears to be another newspaper person who feels threatened by bloggers getting their scoops.

Now I hope Hardicourt's source was wrong. That would be the icing on the cake.

By the way, since Hardicourt didn't do it, here is the blogger's page . It even appears to me that this particular blog has it out for the "real media", which probably is the reason Hardicourt was such a dick when he allegedly proved the blogger wrong.

Quick Update

According to Baseballprospectus.com, the Brewers have a 6.2% chance of making the playoffs. So not impossible, but I'm not betting my life on it. That cries out for something drastic if you ask me.

The irresponsibility of blogging

Today I read a couple interesting blog posts on jsonline.com. It seems that Tom Hardicourt, one of two main guys for the Journal-Sentinel that covers the Brewers, has just regurgitated a giant pile of shit in his blog. This really has nothing to do with my opinion of Yost, right now I'm in the mood of, fire his fucking ass and I would give two shits less, however the manner in which a reporter should conduct himself has been lost on Mr. Hardicourt. I've read some of his mailbags before, he's a very short tempered, condescending person in his response to reader's emails. It would be like giving me a job with JS and saying, meh write whatever you feel like, we're not gonna check shit or edit your work.

So back to the topic at hand, Hardicourt's regurgitated shit. He basically says in this blog posting, that's read by hundreds, probably thousands of Brewers fans within a day or two, that some guy named "Badger Blogger" says Yost just got fired. What? Ok, so even if this guy was a big deal in the world of blogging, he even claims himself that he was unable to confirm what he had just wrote. Why, if you were a reporter for a legitimate newspaper, would you regurgitate that shit onto your papers website? This guy's blog isn't even about sports, it's about politics. Is this what the world of reporting news has come to? In the face of the internet, people are so desperate to be the first one to post that something has happened that they are willing to just toss random quotes from blogging websites into their own articles on the off chance it might be true. Here's a thought, instead of using Mr. Badger Blogger's information, why don't you use your contacts within the team to try and get your own information Hardicourt? I'm sure they're better than Badger Blogger's inside guy that's spewing out information. Maybe write up an insightful article about the topic instead of being that guy that hits reply first on a topic on a message board and just types in "FIRST".

Before anyone comes down on me for regurgitating shit on this blog... I don't have the sources that Tom Hardicourt does, nor is this a job for me like it is for him.

Game 7

I watched about 90% of the Cavs-Celtics game yesterday. Not very entertaining at all until the 4th Quarter. LeBron, as good as he was, had about the least impressive 45 point game I've seen. He forced a ton of threes, which were ill advised. Neither team could make an open shot. If this would have been tonight's Hornets-Spurs game, it would have been about 135-133 instead of the much lower score. To LeBron's credit, he was playing with 4 6th graders out there. His supporting cast is horrible, even though it is better than it was last year. There isn't a single person on that team that you could count on to make a wide open 3 (and they got a ton of them yesterday). I could not be any less impressed with a number one seed than I am with Boston right now. They might beat Detriot, but there is no way they get past whomever comes out of the West. Kobe, Chris Paul or Tony Parker/Manu Ginobili will destroy the Celts. Pierce was great yesterday, KG was surprisingly quiet, but hit shots when it mattered, the flies covering Ray Allen's corpse made a few clutch FT's (seriously, he was on the bench for the majority of the 4th qtr.)

Tonight's game ought to be much more entertaining. No Brewer game, or any TV to affect its uninterrupted viewing. Also, it starts before midnight, which is always good.

God help us if we get anybody v. The Spurs in the Finals again.

Ladies and Gentelmen, Your Last Place Milwaukee Brewers!

A lot to catch up on as I was drinking myself into a coma over the weekend. I caught the game online on Thursday, the first game of the DH on Saturday and the Sunday game. My first thought while watching the Red Sox series is that is seemed like Milwaukee was playing a different game than Boston. As if we were a AAA team vs. their major leaguers. The level of talent is obscenely different. They are A LOT better than we are, and I guess I'm a bit surprised by that. Truthfully, Braun was the only one that could probably crack that lineup right now. He is on a tear that may be unlike any that any Brewer player has ever been on right now, and the Brewers have very few wins to show for it. The biggest thing with Boston is that every guy in their lineup was a danger to hit one out, regardless of the count. And that ballpark turns routine flyouts into HR's. Milwaukee's pitchers had no answer whatsoever. Very disappointing that we lose a game with our ace on Thursday, then lay an egg over the weekend. And now we are battling Pittsburgh and Cincinnati to hopefully get out of last. I am going to try to look this up at some point today, but I'm willing to bet that there aren't a lot of teams that are in last place on May 19th that end up making the playoffs. I sincerely hope that if the Crew doesn't manage to take 4 of 6 from the Pirates and Nats this weekend that Yost comes back to Milwaukee to find his shit in a box, and the locks changed. There is no excuse right now for them to be as bad as they are, and they clearly need a new voice even if you can excuse all of his decisions. The players have to make plays, obviously, but we don't have anyone to replace the players with, and he is in a gots to go situation. This is no longer about losing close games because the closer sucks (which he does).

-Weeks Watch (4 games): 3-13, 2R, 5BB, 4K, 2CS, 2RBI (Season: .193BA, .654OPS) Fairly poor as usual, but got on base 8 times in four games, not too bad I guess.

-Billy "Rob Deer" Hall: 3-12, 3K, 0 HR (Season: .199 BA, 9HR (2nd on team), 46K (1st on team by 10))

-There is going to be a Mike Cameron update in about two weeks. His honeymoon period is about over.

Go Go Gold Glove?

To escape the mental grind that is my life, I spent the wee hours of Friday morning sorting through baseball stats on espn.com. The goal was to compare the defense of Carlos Gomez and Torii Hunter. I wanted to look at the fancy stats (zone rating & range factor) that tell me how good these players really are defensively. I did this because Torii has long been considered one of the best defensive center fielders in baseball and the Twins were bound to miss his glove when he bolted for the Angels. I just wanted to see if this was true. Well, here's how they stack up, with their MLB rankings in parenthesis:


Holy cow!!! Carlos Gomez is super good. I guess this makes sense because he is so much faster than Torii; he has to be able to cover more ground and get to more balls. It's nice to know that the Twins have actually improved their center field defense. However, it seems at times that Gomez can be erratic, but these two statistics have to make up for it. Just to be sure, I checked his fielding percentage: .958 (last). Uh oh!!! He has made five errors in 36 games, which puts him on pace for 22.5 errors for the season. That would be 7.5 errors behind the American League record for errors made by an outfielder in a season. So, the question seems to be 'is Carlos Gomez actually good at defense?'. I would say yes because five errors really isn't that many especially when he gets to more balls than any center fielder in the major leagues. Hopefully, he will learn to chill out a little and keep the miscues to a minimum. And if he does, he could see himself taking a golden shower in defensive accolades as soon as the end of this season.

More Fun After 12 Miller Lites

How to Heckle the Minnesota Twins.

And for the sake of fairness, the Milwaukee Brewers.

From The Heckler's Prospectus.

The Hebrew Hammer

8 yrs, 45 million. Worth every penny. He will be underpaid by the end of this thing. Welcome to 8 years of contending. Great news.

(Ed. Note: This is a quote from Attanasio that appeared in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel this morning: In a year in which teams are locking up young players with long-term contracts nearly every week, Attanasio reported no progress on talks with leftfielder Ryan Braun and first baseman Prince Fielder. But he said the team hasn't given up, either. Liar, Liar.)

Gagne, the bullpen and Prince Fielder

I was going to write this as a comment to Juice's blog, but it started to get too long so I said screw it, new post! I hope last night will shut some people the fuck up for a while. Everyone that was screaming for Gagne's head because other people in our bullpen were so much better. Pro tip: They're not. Out of all the guys in our bullpen, no one has any extensive closing experience at all. I will make an exception for Torres here because he probably had a closer role for about a year total, but then I'm going to take that exception back right away because at the beginning of the season he very clearly stated he doesn't want to close. He's not comfortable in that position and feels he'd do much better as a set up guy. Enter Mota, some 34 year old career set up guy. Juice claims he didn't seem mentally tough out there last night. Really? Because with all the closing experience he should be able to tap into that mental toughness whenever he wants.

Mota's not a closer, Torres doesn't want to close, Shouse is a lefty specialist, Stetter is mostly a left specialist(I saw his "mental toughness" in the 9th a few days ago, not impressed), McClung is still on the team? This all leaves us with one POSSIBLE, POTENTIALLY viable pitcher to close other than Gagne. Mr 87 MPH fastball that seems fast because of a funky delivery motion David Riske. Who got hurt last night anyways so toss his name out the window if you were even considering it for a second. We have Gagne, if this season is going to work out, it's going to be with him as the closer, no one else in the bullpen, RIGHT NOW, is going to be any good at closing, unless Turnbow gets struck by lightning down in Nashville, goes brain dead, gets called up and then can still face a batter and throw pitches.

I don't believe Ned is going right back to the committee bullpen though, I think he was just doing something about what I was complaining about yesterday, giving Gagne a rest after he pitched 3 innings in 2 days. Better to give someone else the ball than chance a reliever after consecutive nights and multiple innings pitched. This post was more about bitching at fans that think the committee is better than Gagne, than bitching about the bullpen decisions from last night specifically.

Also, let's continue my Prince Fielder hate indefinitely, you can say what you will about Mota, but a 3 run game in the 9th is a much different situation to work with than a 1 run game and that fat fucker booted another ball today. He's fucking up routine grounders, that is unacceptable for a first baseman, especially one that's supposed to be such a superstar that deserves over 10 million a year. Well if you're getting the money because of your hitting alone Prince, you better start earning it, because right now he looks like an overweight version of Bill Hall, who's got an inflated OBP because of what he "might" do.

I also just read that Braun is about to sign a monster 7 year contract today. I think that pretty much just punched Fielder's ticket out of town. Hopefully he doesn't shit the bed on his way out and we only get 30 cents on this dollar.

A Begrudging Spygate Post

The last thing I really want to write about is "Spygate". I think it is played out, and is now being driven by the media. But there is one aspect of this that really, really, pisses me off. That aspect is Senator Arlen Specter. The guy just won't let it die.

The NFL talked to this Matt Walsh guy, and they were satisfied that he apparently lied to someone about having this Super Bowl tape. And they were satisfied that even if the Pats didn't tell them the whole truth, there wasn't much else there, and the punishment (which was unprecedented) was good enough. Goodell even admitted that the Hoodie lied to him, but he knew it and took that into account when administering the punishment.

So why does Specter feel the need to puff up his chest and demand some ridiculous investigation? Why the fuck should the government care this much about what is going on in the NFL? Specter keeps threatening to remove the NFL's antitrust exemption. This is a stupid threat to make for a number of reasons. The antitrust exemption is basically in place to allow the league as a whole to pool their interests to negotiate TV deals. This is what basically keeps smaller teams afloat, because TV money is where the majority of NFL revenue comes from. If the exemption was repealed, individual teams would have to negotiate their own TV deals, and there would be basically 32 different TV deals. At some point (even though the Packers are extremely popular) small market teams would be forced out of business, because larger markets would get bigger TV deals because they have more people in their markets. The other effect is that the exemption makes it extremely difficult for a competing league because it essentially prevents the networks that carry NFL to carry the new league. In this day and age, this probably isn't that important because there are enough networks (cable and otherwise) that could carry the competition. And anyone starting a league would be insane to try to compete with the NFL anyway. This is a super simplified explanation, and although I once took a class, I am far from an expert on this issue. My point is that this would be a stupid way to deal with this "issue" and a complete overreaction.

Specter is demanding a "Mitchell Report" investigation of this "issue". What did the Mitchell Report exactly accomplish? All it did was out a few people, and make a few legitimate suggestions. It by no means scratched the surface of the steroids problem, and Mitchell had very little power to do a full investigation.

What would a similar report accomplish here? I think it is pretty clear that the Pats cheated. They admit as much, the NFL has punished them. How much it may have affected games is debatable, but no sort of investigation would garner anything that could fix that debate. So an investigation would probably gather a whole bunch of people who may know something, but also may have motive to make things up. In the end, we will be right where we started, we'll have a whole bunch more accusations (maybe even involving more teams taping) and we still won't be able to change anything. And then we'll have a bill for a couple of million dollars that is going to end up on our tax bill.

Does the average fan feel so upset about this that they think the government should step in to get to the bottom of this? Absolutely not. Most people probably hate the Pats a little more, most wouldn't care if Belicheat was given the needle or Brady has his balls cut off, but most realize that continued speculation isn't going to change the outcome of games played 7 years ago. Most people are not effected enough that they consider the NFL to be "fixed" (see NBA) or would stop watching it.

You know what I bet most taxpayers would rather have investigated by the government? Well, probably a lot of things. How about we start by figuring out why it costs me twice as fucking much to fill up my car with gas as it did two years ago? How about we figure out why we could fly a fucking spaceship to the moon in the 1960's, but conveniently nobody can build a car to run on anything but gas and oil? How about we figure out why so few people can afford health care? How about we investigate why Republicans care so much about gay people getting married? Of all things this guy should be worrying about, and making threats about, he chooses this???

At some point, Roger Goodell is going to tell Specter to get bent. To this point they have gone out of their way to at least give the appearance they are cooperating. But I don't believe Specter has the power to unilaterally remove any antitrust exemption. And he'll have to be re-elected at some point, and I imagine his constituents are going to be sick of hearing about this while they are eating Macaroni and Cheese for dinner 4 days a week. Roger is a bad man, and if anyone has as much ability to make someones life as uncomfortable as a Senator could, I believe it is Goodell.

Do I think the NFL probably knows more than they are saying? Yes. Do I think the Pats do too? Yes. Do I think the other 31 teams probably know some things? Yes. The question is, WHO GIVES A SHIT?????

I implore the people of Pennsylvania to use their vote whenever this idiot comes up for re-election, to vote for whomever is running against him.

Seriously. This has to stop.

Well, There Goes That Theory

Tough one last night. Parra pitches probably the best game of his career. Gives up two of his three runs on a booted easy out at first, a near miss of a diving catch, and an infield single. Then Mota does his best Gagne impression and the Crew loses. That makes "The Committee" 2-1 and Gagne 11-7. I don't know what was up with Mota but he didn't seem mentally tough enough last night for some reason. Here is where I put some blame on Yost: Why no quick hook? When it appeared he didn't have it after the walk and the single, why not bring in McClung or Stetter? Why let Mota give up 3 runs? I know there wasn't really many options left, but when you could win a game, and it is clear that the first guy from your committee isn't working, why leave him there?

Anyways, here is a comparison of Mota and Gagne as I see it:

Mota

Gagne


I don't think that got me anywhere.

The Weeks Watch (Mike Cameron Edition!!!): My man Rickie had a much needed night off, not getting on base is tiring! Season: .190 BA, .651 OPS, 5HR, 13RBI, 7SB. So Mike Cameron (he really is a good center fielder!) stepped into the leadoff role. This makes complete sense to me. We should obviously put whoever has the worst batting average on the team in the leadoff spot. Last night: 0-4, 3K, GIDP, Season Totals: .190BA, .645 OPS. Cameron is actually worse than Weeks. Although, to be fair, Cameron has only been playing about three weeks, so he should be given a little leeway....but NOT be batting leadoff.

Billy "Rob Deer" Hall: 0-4, 3K, 0HR Season: .195 BA, .684 OPS, 9HR (tied for team lead), 43K (leads team by 10)

I refuse to get off of these guys until they consistently bat over .200. I don't think that is a lot to ask of them.

Looking forward to three hours watching red and blue streaks go across my computer screen as I take in the GameCenter from MLB.com while sitting at work doing nothing today. I thought about "live blogging" it but live blogging a game where you can't see or hear what is happening wouldn't be real interesting. Big Ben goes today. Should give the Crew a legit shot.

I may or may not put anything up until Monday morning depending on whether I have time tomorrow or am not dying on Sunday due to Shit in my eye.

NBA = No Black Guys Association?

Right now I am watching Game 5 of the Lakers/Jazz series and these are the players that are on the court to start the fourth quarter:

Jazz
F Matt Harpring
F Andrei Kirilenko
C Mehmet Okur
G Deron Williams
G Kyle Korver

Lakers
F Luke Walton
F Vladimir Radmanovic
C Pau Gasol
G Jordan Farmar
G Sasha Vujacic

That's 8 white guys and 2 black guys that look like white guys. I haven't really paid a lot of attention to the NBA this season, except for some random playoff games, but this seems weird. Maybe Jack Morris was right when he predicted during his cameo on the Twins' broadcast that all of the "hip hop thugs" (Morris' words not mine), would go away and the NBA would cycle back to the days white dudes, short shorts and underhand free throws.

Great Moments In Announcing

So I'm watching the Twins/Blue Jays game, taking in the usual repartee between Dick & Bert, when Jack Morris slides over from the radio booth to add his insight on the game. Of course this lasts for about two minutes, as the conversation shifts to the 1991 World Series (I guess Boof Bonser giving up hits is boring). The announcers start to relive Morris' game 7 brilliance, when he brings up his experience on the 1992-1993 Toronto Blue Jays. That's when I heard something along the line of this:

Dick (to Morris): What was it like being apart of the 2nd walk-off homerun in World Series History?

Jack: It was great obviously. A lot of us knew Joe personally. Of course he didn't really have to hollywood it up like that. But it was a great moment.

Hollwood it up? The man just won the World Series. Aren't you supposed to jump up and down? And I'm not sure, but I don't think that Jack Morris was sitting there stoically when Gene Larkin lofted a fly ball towards the left-centerfield gap and Dan Gladden jogged into an awaiting sea of white, crimson and navy at home plate (aaah, that feels good!!!). I don't really know what Morris was thinking about, but my intuition says that he had some jealousy for Carter or even the entire team. In 1993, he was 7-12, with a 6.19 era for the Blue Jays and didn't appear in a single playoff game. I couldn't figure out if he was injured or just dropped from the rotation, but he made his last start on September 9th of that year. I think Morris wished it was him in that moment, ala 1991, and he holds some hostility for not being able to participate in that great scene.

For some reason this really fired me up because it was such a strange thing to say. I shouldn't have been surprised because minutes later Morris also mentioned that he thought that the increasing reliance on the bullpen is just a trend and in a while workhorses who pitch 300 innings in a season will be back in vogue. Not happening Jack! Pitcher's don't pitch as many innings because the teams are afraid that their multimillion dollar pitchers will get injured. I suppose Morris would counter this by adding that the escalation of salaries is cyclical as well and pretty soon the players will go back to the wages of the Rockford Peaches. Alas, this just gives me more reason to watch sports on mute with killer tunes blaring on my philips sound system in the kitchen.

*Hat tip to Bear for calling me out because I acted like a little girl when Jesse Crain lobbed a ball into left field when they had Scott Rolen picked off of second.

Update on Jeremy Jeffress

Turns out his 50 game suspension for a drug violation was for marijuana, not performance enhancing drugs. Immediately after reading this I had a theory about him and Angel Salome, but that was blown out of the water when I read that Salome's suspension was for performance enhancers. It basically revolved around the whole, developing a pitcher catcher relationship by ripping bong loads and blowing smoke into house pets faces.

My personal opinion of the Gagne situation

I'm actually glad that Gagne is back in the closer position. I hear a lot of non-sense about the "committee" being 2-0 and gagne having 5 blown saves on the year. I know Gagne isn't pitching as well as we'd like our closer to do, but he's also appeared in half of our games this year already (That's 19 games out of 39 for the non-math endowed people). Since the NL has expanded to 16 teams, the average number of saves for a team has been pretty steadily around 40. The league average for save percentage for the last few years was around 67%, that's 2/3. So I can safely assume an average team will see around 60 save attempts per year. The Brewers are less than one fourth of the way into the season and yet Gagne has appeared 19 times already. That's a lot of work for a closer, especially when you consider that not all of those 60 potential save attempts are going to the same guy. The Brewers blew 20 saves in total last year, we are one quarter of the way through the year and Gagne has blown 5, the team total this year is 7. That seems to be slight ahead of the average, but the league average last year was 20 blown saves. As I've mentioned before we are ahead of the league average on save opportunities for the year as well. Only two teams had less than 14 blown save opportunities last year. Does that make it ok that Gagne has blown these saves? No. However I do think it helps to put things into perspective. Give the averages time to even themselves out and get Gagne a normal work flow. Popping into games 5 nights in a row is going to put a strain on any closer, not just our popular quebecois scapegoat.

Take this into account as well, for every team in the major leagues, only two have a reliever that has been their closer since earlier than 2004, the Yankees with Rivera and the Padres with Hoffman (the latter of which is probably soon to end). The closer position is so damn volatile and so closely scrutinized that sometimes fans forget to take a step back and realize, that's just the way the game is sometimes, no closer is going to be perfect. Granted Gagne is quite far from perfect, but I think before people continue to jump down his throat they should consider this, I don't think there's a better answer than him to be the closer in our bullpen right now. There's a lot of pressure when you are put into that situation and it's not really a spot where you want to be doing trial and error testing on pitchers that are unproven in the closer role.

Also just a little food for thought in contradiction to what I said here, the only team this year without a blown save? The Reds. Of course they've only had 7 save opportunities, so once again take that number with a grain of salt.

One Other Nugget

I heard on the broadcast last night that Yo may return in September, and that according to the trainer it is a legit possibility.

I hope they only try if they are within 3 games or so of a playoff spot. He would at most give you like 5 starts, so his effect in terms of actual games won wouldn't be that great. Emotionally, it would be huge, and would help the bullpen by putting Bush in it. But, if they are out of it, I wouldn't risk it.

Rickie Weeks Hates Eric Gagne

Look. I don't know what Neddy was thinking last night. But I survived the heart attack and vomiting episode I had in the bottom of the 8th/top of 9th to have an opinion. I guess you can be benched and then just say "I'm ready to have my job back.", and it just magically falls into your lap. I plan to lose my job by punching my boss in the face, and then going back the next day and saying I'm ready to go, and get it back. I guess there are no consequences to anyone. No accountability. Especially if you make $10 million a year. So Gagne comes in, fills the bases with runners yet again, but gets the save to go to 11-7 in these situations, while "The Committee" remains 2-0.

The funny thing I took from the game is how my favorite player Weeks nearly cost Gagne another game by screwing up a routine double play. He has done this at least one other time too. Weeks has been very good in the field until the 9th all season. I think it is safe to say that Weeks hates Canadians.

My platonic boyfriend Ryan Braun continues to stay mental at the plate.

Weeks Watch: 1-4, 11 total pitches, 1 R, 1K, 1SB, E (Season Total: .190, .651 OPS, 7 SB)

Billy "Rob Deer" Hall: hit his 9th HR (1-4 and only struck out once!) (I stole that reference from my brother, and I think it is a fairly clever one)

Actual Text I received last night from a police officer friend of mine: "I am going to use excessive force on someone tonight if Gagne blows this" Truly one of Wisconsin's finest.

2 days 'til Shit In My Eye

Political Sidebar

I am not going to make a habit of this, but this whole Hilary Clinton denial thing is getting to be a disaster. This article pretty much summarizes what is going on. "Points and waives to one of her aids she just talked to on a plane..." A guy on a sports talk show this morning compared her to the white guy at the end of the bench trying to pump up his teammates and telling them its not over when they are down 12 with 48.6 seconds left and they quick call a timeout.

America's Most Wanted

Turnbow now terrorizing minor league cities.

The Morning Dump Vol. 2

- The Brewers appear to be firmly out of their slump. They hammered the Cards' ace last night (with the help of a timely error).

-My torrid, non-sexual, love affair with Ryan Braun is officially heating up again. 4HRs in 6 ABs will do that to a guy. I have as many feelings as one man can legally have for another in the state of Wisconsin. ETA on when I have a Ryan Braun jersey is under 30 days.

-Oh, and forget what I had to say about Mitchy Stetter in any sort of closer role (21 pitches, 16 balls, will do that to a guy).

-The Brewers had FOUR people in their starting lineup with a BA under the Mendoza line. Weeks (.188), Hall (.199), Cameron (.180) and Bush. That is pretty unacceptable for a major league team in mid-May. NO thought on Yost's part to at least shuffle the lineup a little, or to give Gwynn more starts.

-Starting a new feature here, the daily Weeks update where I write down Weeks line last night and then I point and laugh, and then throw something across the room. Last night: 0 for 4, saw 11 TOTAL PITCHES, GIDP, 0 BB, 0 HBP (solid effort). Season: .188, 5HR, 13RBI, .654 OPS (on base plus slugging percentage, .750 is considered average for all players, .650 is considered poor, a good leadoff man is usually above .750).

-A little confused on how Mota got a save last night. I think the way it works is if the number of guys on base + the man at bat + number of outs left= the # of runs you are up you get a save. Mota came in with bases loaded with two outs, up by five. Either way, I guess that makes "The Committee" 2-0, and Gagne 10-7. Gagne sucked again last night by the way.

-That dunk by LeBron in the 4th last night was spectacular.

-Asdrubal Cabrera's unassisted triple play was the 14th in MLB history, which is insane.

-Friday afternoon I am leaving to go to Syttende Mai in Stoughton, WI, which I guess is Norwegian independence day or some shit. Playing in the annual golf tournament which is called Shit-In-My-Eye which a bunch of college buddies. The tournament usually involves carts tipping over and at least one person being hit with a golf ball. Inevitably, I get black out drunk and puke. This year will be the wife's inaugural (and probably last) appearance.

Dome Sweet Dome

Juice (or anyone else for that matter),

In case you've never been, you gotta find out what you're missing. It's the most comfortable place to watch a game. Ever!!! Also, there is only about two years left until the Gophers and Twins get their new digs and the Vikings move to Los Angeles. At least we have a place to watch monster truck rallies.

Just click on the picture to come on in.

Are The Twins 4 Real?

Well, the Twins just finished off their 4 game series with the mighty Boston Red Sox with a 7-3 victory and I am on cloud 9. They took three games from the World Champions and currently stand atop the AL Central with a record of 20-17. That's 1.5 games better than the Indians and the White Sox. I am completely surprised by this and wonder if they can actually keep this up for the entire season. Luckily, the kind folks at Baseball Prospectus keep track of this sort of thing so I decided to see if the Twins are actually good or merely just an early season fluke (or some of both).

The first thing I did was look at the standings. Wouldn't you know it, the Twins are 19-17 (as of yesterday) and atop the AL Central. So far, BPs projections are right on. Well, what the heck are these numbers to the right of those!!! They don't matter, the Twins record is what it is!!! Except, I think that they do matter and are actually an indicator of what the rest of the season will have in store. As you can see the Twins records gets worse on the right side of the table. This is because their expected record, based on their current offensive and defensive output and strength of schedule, is significantly worse than the actual standings. They should be a below .500 team, but due to some luck, aggressive baserunning, timely hitting and an effective handling of the pitching staff, the Twins are outplaying their current projections. I just hope they can keep this up.

I do see a lot of reason for optimism, aside from what these numbers predict. First of all, the season is very young. The sample size may simply be too small to make accurate projections. Secondly, the Twins started out the season on a down note. They weren't scoring runs and their pitching was erratic. Once the calendar turned to May, the Twins really started to play better, particularly offensively. Over the last 12 days the Twins are 2nd in the AL in runs (in only 9 games), 3rd in batting average, 4th in OBP, 3rd in SLG, 3rd in OPS (behind the Yankees and Red Sox), and 5th in stolen bases. Is this just a hot stretch or is the team actually playing to its potential? I tend to side with the latter out of blind loyalty. The Twins pitching has continued to be erratic, but this has been due in part to injuries (Scott Baker, Pat Neshek, Kevin Slowey). Hopefully the rotation gains some stability, because if it does there is no reason for the Twins to stop winning. I just hope my optimism isn't misguided because I love the sound of "Your first place, Minnesota Twins"!!!

*Some other observations from the expected standings.
1. The Tigers pitching is bad.
2. The White Sox might be better than I want them to be.
3. The Royals suck!
4. Beware of the Cleveland Indians. They are probably the best team in the division.

Retailers Have Spoken, Aaron Rodgers Sucks

I wish I had myself a digital camera to carry around, but I don't, so you'll have to use your imagination. I was walking around the mall in GB yesterday and popped into the Finish Line because I was thinking about getting a Brewer jersey. As I'm walking through the store I notice a rack of Packer jerseys. Not unusual. Packer jerseys probably do double the sales of Brewer jerseys even when they are in the offseason. Anyway, this particular rack has two jerseys on it facing the outside. On the right is the #4 Brett Favre jersey, still selling for regular price, and probably still doing pretty well in sales. Again, not unusual, he could run for supreme dictator of Wisconsin and win. He is a hall of famer, and his jerseys will be bought and sold forever. The interesting thing was the jersey on the left side of the rack was #11 Brian Brohm......I want to let that sink in for a minute....OK. That should do it. Given a choice of which jersey to sell apparently, Finish Line went with Brian Brohm over Aaron Rodgers. There were no #12 jerseys in the store. And as far as most Packer fans are concerned, they aren't used to the idea of anyone but Favre at QB, so it wasn't because the #12 was sold out.

If we were in the Packer Pro Shop, seeing a Brian Brohm jersey wouldn't be that wierd, because you could probably pick up a Matt Flynn or Patrick Lee jersey just as easily. Also, there would be plenty of Rodgers jerseys. Finish line is the kind of store that only sells popular items when it comes to jerseys: i.e. Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, LDT, etc. So to see a Brohm jersey and no Rodgers jersey is bizarre to say the least.

My point here is that major U.S. retailers are firmly behind Brian Brohm, and assuming Rodgers will splinter his femur in training camp. Or there is some type of conspiracy to assassinate him, that has been cooked up by the retail industry and Brian Brohm's people.

Someone woke Neddy up from his Five Year Slumber

Apparently, somebody nudged Neddy and let him know that he has a baseball team to manage. At this point, the only obvious thing he is doing that I can't stand is batting Weeks in the leadoff spot. The decision to FINALLY pull Gagne and go with closer by committee is welcomed. I am also incredibly impressed with his decision to yank Torres in the middle of the inning yesterday. It shows that he actually does want to win games, although part of me is curious why he refused to ever do this with his "closer". Whatever, it worked yesterday. I still think Mota is the best candidate, and that Stetter might be a better lefty option than Shouse, but I am actually going to give Yost some slack here. Especially if he is quick with the hook. What I don't want to see is him going lefty on lefty in the ninth all the time if the righty option is pitching well. That tends to get dangerous. My other worry is that we aren't going to have 5 options going into the ninth all the time (especially when anyone but Sheets is pitching). Still, and upgrade over Gagne. I am interested to see how he uses Gagne now. For the rest of the year, I am going to keep a tally on how the Gagne v. Closer By Committee thing works: So far the Crew is 10-7 in games where Gagne comes in to "close" or when the game is tied, etc. and 1-0 with the "committee".

PS. Ryan Braun is starting to remind me of the guy that played 3B for the Brewers last year (minus all the errors of course). Very, very good sign.

Personality Tests & Links

As Juice has noticed, I have been on a slight hiatus. It stems from laziness and the fact that everyone that has my job at the St. Croix Valley YMCA has quit at the same time. The YMCA has since realized that surfing the internet all day and disc golfing are not adequate excuses to miss work. Plus, the Twins are on a home stand and I have been attending as many of the games as possible (until I ate a rancid spicy chicken soft taco from taco bell, that is). I have also been using my "internet time" to search and apply for middle school math teaching jobs throughout the United States. Combine all this with sleeping in until 11:00 am and my fondness for recreational drugs and it should be clear to everyone why I haven't been posting as much as possible. I will do my best in the future to post at least one time per day.

Since I haven't been paying as close of attention to sports as usuall, I am going to post about what I have been spending my time doing: these mind-numbing teacher applications that I have to fill out online if I want a job influencing small children. Every one of these applications requires the typical information you would expect (contact info, job history, teacher license info, references, special skills, etc.). I have to type in all of this information for each job that I apply for (15 & counting) then I have to upload a copy of everything to corroborate it. This generally takes about one hour and can be a pain in the ass due to the fickle nature (dates, phone numbers) of data entry forms on the computer. This is completely expected, but I wish I could just print off the required documents and mail them in with a letter of interest.

The reason that I wanted to share this with our readers is that some of the times the school that I am applying for has a personality test. That's fine, but they always come out of nowhere. Also, when they come up I have no idea how many questions there are and the questions are timed. Why in the middle of the slowest process ever do these schools feel the need to stick in a timed personality test? It can really throw you off. These tests also ask a lot of questions with obvious answers or they will also ask the same question more than once. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!! I can't wait till this part of the process is over (which should be soon because I have so far received zero inquiries). Anyways, here is a sampling of the type of questions I have been asked.

Really? This was for a middle school in Helena, Montana. The population is 94.78% White.

Like what? Calling some guy for weed when he's the upstairs neighbor of your friend's brother's girlfriend?

The answer is B. But, how could I answer that? I'm supposed to be empathetic.

What would you do? I have no idea. Why is a 16-year-old taking this news so hard? I just want him to stop crying. He's 16!!!

Thanks for listening. I'll be back to posting about sports (baseball) tomorrow.