So I finally finished off beating my wife (in our bracket competition) last night. North Carolina (I still hate them) provided the final dagger. This is the second time I've badly beaten my wife (in a bracket) in order to make money, or electronics. She doesn't like it much when I beat her (at a bracket competition). I've pretty much got beating her (in a bracket) down to a science. Although, she isn't very good at preventing me from beating her (in a bracket). Overall, I thoroughly enjoy beating my wife (in a bracket competition).
So what does this all mean? Well, it means that I have an extra $100 to blow when we don't go on our Vegas trip Labor Day weekend. And for all four of you that are reading this and thinking "What a pussy. Why does he have a budget?" (especially since you fucks are going to let me down and we won't end up going anyway). Well dickheads, it is because I'm fucking married. And there is a budget for everything. It is for the best. That is why I had to beat her (at a bracket competition) to get an extra $100 out of her. Twinkie is the only one that could possibly understand.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Deep Thoughts By Ted Thompson
I can think of at least one person who isn't going to like these much, but in case you haven't seen these quotes anywhere else I'm just going to let them wash over you. I encourage you to think hard about them, let them roll over your brain cells like a glass of fine wine over your taste buds. Perhaps enjoy a nice Cuban cigar.
"I am confident in our team," Thompson said Tuesday. "I think we have a fair group of players that now can play the game and play it well. I don't think we played as well as we should have last year. Notwithstanding, I think we have a good group of players who make up our team." (Ed. Note: Really? The defense didn't play that well? Obviously it was just dumb luck, or the strength coach, or the defensive scheme, and not that half the defense is made up of back ups.)
It would be logical to think he's expecting a couple of starters out of this class. But he's not even certain he needs to do that. "I don't know that's a particular goal," Thompson said. "It would be nice. It kind of depends on what's there when it's our turn to pick. We're pretty solid in our starting lineup." (Ed. Note: Yeah. It would be nice to get a starter with the ninth fucking pick. Of course, you are going to trade it for 6 7th rounders. But I'm sure you will find a no name o-lineman in round 5 that will end up starting so you can declare this draft a success.)
And my personal favorite: "Well, as I’ve said, you can’t base your draft on need, but in a perfect world maybe it scratches a particular itch and adds to some groups where you have a particular need at. But you never know."
At the same time, would he also consider drafting a receiver? "Sure," he said with a chuckle.
What about Michael Crabtree? "I can’t speak to anybody specific." (Ed. Note: Last year, after the Justin Harrell debacle, I predicted a WR with our first pick, and it came true. This year, its going to be either a) a wide receiver or b) a quarterback. Neither of whom you will have ever heard of. That is just how Ted rolls. Take the last position on the team we really need and pick it.)
He is making it ever hard to defend him. I'm trying really, really hard. But he is so hard to like. He is just downright defiant. I guess you have to respect him for sticking to his guns. But he is starting to sound more and more like former (thank (Sports Bottle's) god) President Bush.
"I am confident in our team," Thompson said Tuesday. "I think we have a fair group of players that now can play the game and play it well. I don't think we played as well as we should have last year. Notwithstanding, I think we have a good group of players who make up our team." (Ed. Note: Really? The defense didn't play that well? Obviously it was just dumb luck, or the strength coach, or the defensive scheme, and not that half the defense is made up of back ups.)
It would be logical to think he's expecting a couple of starters out of this class. But he's not even certain he needs to do that. "I don't know that's a particular goal," Thompson said. "It would be nice. It kind of depends on what's there when it's our turn to pick. We're pretty solid in our starting lineup." (Ed. Note: Yeah. It would be nice to get a starter with the ninth fucking pick. Of course, you are going to trade it for 6 7th rounders. But I'm sure you will find a no name o-lineman in round 5 that will end up starting so you can declare this draft a success.)
And my personal favorite: "Well, as I’ve said, you can’t base your draft on need, but in a perfect world maybe it scratches a particular itch and adds to some groups where you have a particular need at. But you never know."
At the same time, would he also consider drafting a receiver? "Sure," he said with a chuckle.
What about Michael Crabtree? "I can’t speak to anybody specific." (Ed. Note: Last year, after the Justin Harrell debacle, I predicted a WR with our first pick, and it came true. This year, its going to be either a) a wide receiver or b) a quarterback. Neither of whom you will have ever heard of. That is just how Ted rolls. Take the last position on the team we really need and pick it.)
He is making it ever hard to defend him. I'm trying really, really hard. But he is so hard to like. He is just downright defiant. I guess you have to respect him for sticking to his guns. But he is starting to sound more and more like former (thank (Sports Bottle's) god) President Bush.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Things and Stuff
More rambling, incoherent thoughts and biased opinions (with bullet points!):
- I am now officially excited again for the NFL. The Pack opens on a Sunday night against the Bears, and I was notified that I am the recipient of the right to purchase Packer tickets at face value because I allegedly am paying for Lambeau Field through my taxes. Finally, a mere four weeks until I pay $5 a beer and watch the draft in an uncomfortable chair, while waiting for Theodore Thompson to turn our first round pick into three sixths and three sevenths.
- I am now going to Brewer games on consecutive weekends in May. May 2 v. Arizona and May 9 v. the Cubs. The fucking spring training schedule has to be like twice as long as the previous longest doesn't it? Maybe it is because I've been working my ass off, and actually watching spring training box scores refresh on my computer screen, but it feels like they've played like 60 fake games. Do baseball players REALLY need to play like 250 games a year? I'm just sayin'. I'm also just sayin' that on MLB '09: The Show, Manny and a healthy Ben Sheets were just sitting on the free agent list at the all star break, and I had money in my budget, so I signed them both, and sent Soup and Weeks down to AAA to make room (and both cleared waivers to get there because neither had minor league options, that is how bad they both suck).
- I really couldn't care less about women playing basketball, and this will be about the last time I post anything about it. But how am I, the sports fan, supposed to take your tournament seriously when you are having number one seeds (in this case Duke), playing fucking ROAD games in the second round against number nine seeds (Michigan St.). My assumption is that the reason is three-fold: 1) they couldn't fill a neutral site game, 2) travel expenses (although Durham to East Lansing is pretty far), 3) size of venue that you may be able to fill. Either way, it is a fucking joke. Imagine if UNC had to go on the road against LSU in the men's tournament? Stupid.
- So Donte Stallworth (allegedly, although not officially charged, so I guess rumoredly) murdered some dude with his car. What I find remarkably odd about the situation is that ESPN has gone out of its way to report that the guy who died might not have been in a cross walk and Stallworth "flashed his lights" to warn him. My thought is "What is your fucking point?" From my standpoint (and depending on the laws of whatever state he was in) if Stallworth was drunk (which has been reported) it doesn't matter if the dude he killed was chasing traffic. If he was drunk, and killed someone, he will probably go to prison. And the slant that I feel is being put on this thing, that somehow being killed was the other guy's fault because "he was flashed with headlights" is retarded. If anything, it makes it worse for Stallworth, because if true, Stallworth clearly saw the guy, and just kept trucking rather than, I dunno, stopping. Just a strange situation. I don't want to come off like I've already convicted the guy, because if he wasn't drunk, then this all probably moot, and maybe he was sober, I dunno. I'm just saying the whole thing is odd.
- I am now officially excited again for the NFL. The Pack opens on a Sunday night against the Bears, and I was notified that I am the recipient of the right to purchase Packer tickets at face value because I allegedly am paying for Lambeau Field through my taxes. Finally, a mere four weeks until I pay $5 a beer and watch the draft in an uncomfortable chair, while waiting for Theodore Thompson to turn our first round pick into three sixths and three sevenths.
- I am now going to Brewer games on consecutive weekends in May. May 2 v. Arizona and May 9 v. the Cubs. The fucking spring training schedule has to be like twice as long as the previous longest doesn't it? Maybe it is because I've been working my ass off, and actually watching spring training box scores refresh on my computer screen, but it feels like they've played like 60 fake games. Do baseball players REALLY need to play like 250 games a year? I'm just sayin'. I'm also just sayin' that on MLB '09: The Show, Manny and a healthy Ben Sheets were just sitting on the free agent list at the all star break, and I had money in my budget, so I signed them both, and sent Soup and Weeks down to AAA to make room (and both cleared waivers to get there because neither had minor league options, that is how bad they both suck).
- I really couldn't care less about women playing basketball, and this will be about the last time I post anything about it. But how am I, the sports fan, supposed to take your tournament seriously when you are having number one seeds (in this case Duke), playing fucking ROAD games in the second round against number nine seeds (Michigan St.). My assumption is that the reason is three-fold: 1) they couldn't fill a neutral site game, 2) travel expenses (although Durham to East Lansing is pretty far), 3) size of venue that you may be able to fill. Either way, it is a fucking joke. Imagine if UNC had to go on the road against LSU in the men's tournament? Stupid.
- So Donte Stallworth (allegedly, although not officially charged, so I guess rumoredly) murdered some dude with his car. What I find remarkably odd about the situation is that ESPN has gone out of its way to report that the guy who died might not have been in a cross walk and Stallworth "flashed his lights" to warn him. My thought is "What is your fucking point?" From my standpoint (and depending on the laws of whatever state he was in) if Stallworth was drunk (which has been reported) it doesn't matter if the dude he killed was chasing traffic. If he was drunk, and killed someone, he will probably go to prison. And the slant that I feel is being put on this thing, that somehow being killed was the other guy's fault because "he was flashed with headlights" is retarded. If anything, it makes it worse for Stallworth, because if true, Stallworth clearly saw the guy, and just kept trucking rather than, I dunno, stopping. Just a strange situation. I don't want to come off like I've already convicted the guy, because if he wasn't drunk, then this all probably moot, and maybe he was sober, I dunno. I'm just saying the whole thing is odd.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
I Want My Trophy Back
Wow. Holy Fucking Shit. What a game. And I say what a game because I mentally blocked out the first 25 minutes of the game, and pretend it wasn't the worst first half and a quarter of basketball I've ever seen played by people over the age of 12, with penises (I assume). But anyway, that shot that Bohannon had at the end of regulation was the clutchest of clutch, and Hughes then apparently forgot what a choker he has been all year, and thought he was in Austin, Texas last November or something. It looked like they might lose by 30 at one point. The strange thing is that it didn't seem like an upset. I know seedings dictate that it was, but if that game had been played in that fake ass ACC/Big 11 challenge, I would have thought the Badgers should win. Beating Xavier won't seem like an upset either, although that is far from a sure thing. But if we get to the Sweet 16? I gotta say the season is a success, no matter how frustrating.
The excitement was augmented by the Siena-Ohio St. game happening at the same time, and us getting cut ins every four seconds. CBS did their jobs perfectly. That game was actually more exciting that the Badger game to be honest, and even though the seeds were closer, it felt like more of an upset. Especially since 8 seeded Ohio St. basically got a fucking HOME game.
Oh, and by the way, Sports Bottle (and I know you are going to tell me I'm stupid), I want my fucking ACC/Big 11 trophy back. All this bullshit of counting regular season games, and declaring the ACC better is fucking stupid. I've got a scoreboard call for you: BIG TEN 2, ACC zilch. Oh, and BOTH ACC teams were the higher seeds, and BOTH fucked my bracket in the ass (especially goddamn Clemson whom I blacked out and picked in the elite 8 for some reason). And seriously, Cleveland State? Fucking ACC.
OTHER THOUGHTS:
-Gus Johnson's head would've exploded if he had been calling either UW or Siena last night. Raftery's "ONIONS! GARDEN VARIETY!" was pretty good too.
-My bracket may be the worst I've ever picked. Already down FIVE Sweet 16 and two elite 8.
-This tournament is ruining my life. Two days in a row now I've gotten 6 or less hours of sleep because of basketball and then having to get up for work.
-What is going on with the floors at the sites? Some have the generic blue and black, and then some were apparently exempted (Miami, Dayton, I think there were a few others). Is there some kind of rule about how old a floor could be or something? I was hoping to see that multi colored blue/orange/white floor in Boise.
-Fuck Marquette.
The excitement was augmented by the Siena-Ohio St. game happening at the same time, and us getting cut ins every four seconds. CBS did their jobs perfectly. That game was actually more exciting that the Badger game to be honest, and even though the seeds were closer, it felt like more of an upset. Especially since 8 seeded Ohio St. basically got a fucking HOME game.
Oh, and by the way, Sports Bottle (and I know you are going to tell me I'm stupid), I want my fucking ACC/Big 11 trophy back. All this bullshit of counting regular season games, and declaring the ACC better is fucking stupid. I've got a scoreboard call for you: BIG TEN 2, ACC zilch. Oh, and BOTH ACC teams were the higher seeds, and BOTH fucked my bracket in the ass (especially goddamn Clemson whom I blacked out and picked in the elite 8 for some reason). And seriously, Cleveland State? Fucking ACC.
OTHER THOUGHTS:
-Gus Johnson's head would've exploded if he had been calling either UW or Siena last night. Raftery's "ONIONS! GARDEN VARIETY!" was pretty good too.
-My bracket may be the worst I've ever picked. Already down FIVE Sweet 16 and two elite 8.
-This tournament is ruining my life. Two days in a row now I've gotten 6 or less hours of sleep because of basketball and then having to get up for work.
-What is going on with the floors at the sites? Some have the generic blue and black, and then some were apparently exempted (Miami, Dayton, I think there were a few others). Is there some kind of rule about how old a floor could be or something? I was hoping to see that multi colored blue/orange/white floor in Boise.
-Fuck Marquette.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Always Whining
Come on now, are you serious Badger fan (i.e. Juice)? You would complain about whatever seed the Badgers got no matter what. They didn't even win 20 games, so stop whining. They got in, be happy with that. And one could make the argument they don't deserve to get in, especially since Penn St didnt' get in. But I'm not making that argument.
The Badgers have a really tough first round game. FSU is much more athletic. Juice, you have no logic behind your "no defense in the ACC" mindset. I'm not saying they play the type of physical D that the Big Ten plays but the D isn't bad. Just think for a second. When you're UNC or Wake and you like to run, of course you're gonna give up more points. It's as simple as saying more possessions equals more points. Also, better basketball players equals more points. That being said, I picked the Badgers to win.
I would be going into this tourney with a lot of optimism but not this year due to the fact the most important player on my favorite team is injured. Not having Ty Lawson is a really bad thing for my Heels. I'd say he's the most important player on any team. I hope they sit him out the first two games and hopefully they can win their 2nd round game. He should be healthy by next week's games.
My computer assisted fantasy draft was fucking ridiculous. My team would look nothing like that team. I'm so fucking irritated just thinking about it. My pitching is horrible. I didn't take a pitcher until round 7 and that was Mariano Rivera. My first starter was Aaron Harang in round 13. I took 3 relievers before him. Fucking ridiculous. I took Nelson Cruz before I took a starting pitcher. Jesus Christ.
I fucking love these next two days. The opening round is the best. As I write this I'm splitting the screen with the March Madness on Demand - the greatest idea ever. The 1 seeds are dominating. Memphis had a little scare.
To Juice and Ricky, I got the g/f to join the 'nice shoes!!!!!' phenomena! And, believe me, there were some very nice pairs of shoes on the beach in the DR.
Wagering Against Yourself
So today is the big day. It is the day where despite economic concerns, and the fact that if I somehow get caught not working and instead watching live basketball on my computer I would not be able to get another job, I will soldier on, and watch anyway. I'm so excited that I got to work an hour early, so that I can try to sneak out early to try to watch most of tonight's games on my large television set instead of my 16" computer screen.
One fun side note though, out of the blue last night my wife decided she wanted to put a wager on the brackets. A few of you may remember two years ago, and the shiny new PS3 I earned by crushing her in the bracket. She decided she wanted to put an extra $100 of spending money above "budget" for this mythical "Vegas Trip" I and hopefully most of you are potentially planning on Labor Day weekend. (For those who don't know, I am planning to go to Vegas, hopefully not by myself, Labor Day weekend, clear your calendars, more details to come.) My wife is going on a shopping trip with her sister as a "make up call" for my trip. So winner gets to spend an "extra" $100.
The wager itself is meaningless on like a hundred different levels, but here are the highlights: 1) Obviously, neither of us actually gains any money, as we are married and everything is both of ours anyway; and 2) If either of us really felt the need to spend more than this "projected budget", we would just do it anyway (although I'm not sure that booze and strippers would qualify as a "need" in my wife's mind).
The major point of the wager is bragging rights in the household, and my assertion of the one thing that I control in our relationship, knowledge of sports. It is very arguable whether knowledge has anything to do with picking a winning bracket, as we've all heard the secretary winning a bracket based on cute players. But this gives me an opportunity to feel better about myself at least. My wife is no idiot when it comes to sports, although I bet she's watched about five college basketball games and only hears any sports news because she is in the room while SportsCenter is on. She is much more knowledgeable about baseball and NFL. Both of us are hyper-competitive, and it will bring me great joy to crush her dreams of beating me.
Without further ado, here are our final four picks, and other highlights.
HER: Louisville, Pitt...WASHINGTON....GONZAGA in the final four. Louisville/Pitt title game, Louisville winning.
ME: Louisville, Pitt, UNC (shut up Sports Bottle), Missouri final four. Louisville/Pitt title game, Louisville winning.
So we have the same champ and title game, which give me an even bigger than normal advantage, because as we all know, you can fuck up nearly every game, but pick the right champ and still win. I guess anything is possible. But Butler over UNC? That seems pretty unlikely to me. So I guess I'm a big Psycho T fan for two weeks.
Any suggestions on how I should spend that $100?
One fun side note though, out of the blue last night my wife decided she wanted to put a wager on the brackets. A few of you may remember two years ago, and the shiny new PS3 I earned by crushing her in the bracket. She decided she wanted to put an extra $100 of spending money above "budget" for this mythical "Vegas Trip" I and hopefully most of you are potentially planning on Labor Day weekend. (For those who don't know, I am planning to go to Vegas, hopefully not by myself, Labor Day weekend, clear your calendars, more details to come.) My wife is going on a shopping trip with her sister as a "make up call" for my trip. So winner gets to spend an "extra" $100.
The wager itself is meaningless on like a hundred different levels, but here are the highlights: 1) Obviously, neither of us actually gains any money, as we are married and everything is both of ours anyway; and 2) If either of us really felt the need to spend more than this "projected budget", we would just do it anyway (although I'm not sure that booze and strippers would qualify as a "need" in my wife's mind).
The major point of the wager is bragging rights in the household, and my assertion of the one thing that I control in our relationship, knowledge of sports. It is very arguable whether knowledge has anything to do with picking a winning bracket, as we've all heard the secretary winning a bracket based on cute players. But this gives me an opportunity to feel better about myself at least. My wife is no idiot when it comes to sports, although I bet she's watched about five college basketball games and only hears any sports news because she is in the room while SportsCenter is on. She is much more knowledgeable about baseball and NFL. Both of us are hyper-competitive, and it will bring me great joy to crush her dreams of beating me.
Without further ado, here are our final four picks, and other highlights.
HER: Louisville, Pitt...WASHINGTON....GONZAGA in the final four. Louisville/Pitt title game, Louisville winning.
ME: Louisville, Pitt, UNC (shut up Sports Bottle), Missouri final four. Louisville/Pitt title game, Louisville winning.
So we have the same champ and title game, which give me an even bigger than normal advantage, because as we all know, you can fuck up nearly every game, but pick the right champ and still win. I guess anything is possible. But Butler over UNC? That seems pretty unlikely to me. So I guess I'm a big Psycho T fan for two weeks.
Any suggestions on how I should spend that $100?
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Productivity? Not So Good.
We all have heard the story about how American companies lose like 12 billion dollars on this Thursday and Friday due to lack of productivity during the NCAA tournament. Well, I'm thinking they forgot to throw Monday and Tuesday into the mix too. Because on Monday, everyone passes out the office pool brackets, and (if gambling were legal) places wagers on their brackets with co-workers. Tuesday, you usually have to finish studying statistics (if you are a stats savant like myself) to find just the right upsets. Then you have to blog about it while you should be working. So I would say that MAYBE Wednesday productivity will be at or around normal this week.
This years sucks because it is the first time since maybe middle school that I haven't found some way to weasel my way out of class (high school we all went into a room in the library that we convinced the librarian to let us set up a TV in. College I just didn't go unless I had a test. Ditto for school following college), or work (I have taken off of every job I've ever had on this Thursday and Friday). I have this job that I haven't yet been at a year, and don't have any vacation yet. And even if I did, we are highly involved in the tax industry, making it extremely unlikely that I will be able to take off this week any year in the near future. All I can say is: Thank fucking (Sports Bottle's)god for NCAA March Madness on Demand. I am going to stealthily pretend to work between 11 and 12 (I will go somewhere to watch during lunch) and from 1 to 5-ish, all while watching LIVE coverage of ALL the games, for FREE. The only bad part is the lack of sound, but whatever. Did I mention MMOD is the greatest invention in the history of the world? Why don't other sports do this? Can you imagine watching every Brewer game at work, and online for free?
IN OTHER BRACKET NEWS:
-TWELVE seed for Bucky? Really? I think what bothers me most is that Michigan got a 10, and we mopped the floor with them twice. But, we got in, and are playing a team that did not face more than 12 seconds of defense all year because they play in the ACC. Should be interesting. I actually don't hate Bucky's chances if they can make a shot or two (although I didn't pick them in my bracket).
-One of my bosses whom I would have entered into a low stakes bracket with if gambling were legal, had NO IDEA how to fill out a bracket, or how the scoring worked. And he is a sports fan. I had to explain that you didn't pick each round individually after they were played, that you in fact picked the WHOLE THING before they were played. He couldn't understand what would happen if all the teams you picked lost right away. I was baffled. Is this a generational thing? This guy is about 10 years older than my dad, but my dad has been filling out brackets with me for like 20 years.
-No high stakes pool with the wife this year. Two years ago I got a PS3 out of a pool with her.
This years sucks because it is the first time since maybe middle school that I haven't found some way to weasel my way out of class (high school we all went into a room in the library that we convinced the librarian to let us set up a TV in. College I just didn't go unless I had a test. Ditto for school following college), or work (I have taken off of every job I've ever had on this Thursday and Friday). I have this job that I haven't yet been at a year, and don't have any vacation yet. And even if I did, we are highly involved in the tax industry, making it extremely unlikely that I will be able to take off this week any year in the near future. All I can say is: Thank fucking (Sports Bottle's)god for NCAA March Madness on Demand. I am going to stealthily pretend to work between 11 and 12 (I will go somewhere to watch during lunch) and from 1 to 5-ish, all while watching LIVE coverage of ALL the games, for FREE. The only bad part is the lack of sound, but whatever. Did I mention MMOD is the greatest invention in the history of the world? Why don't other sports do this? Can you imagine watching every Brewer game at work, and online for free?
IN OTHER BRACKET NEWS:
-TWELVE seed for Bucky? Really? I think what bothers me most is that Michigan got a 10, and we mopped the floor with them twice. But, we got in, and are playing a team that did not face more than 12 seconds of defense all year because they play in the ACC. Should be interesting. I actually don't hate Bucky's chances if they can make a shot or two (although I didn't pick them in my bracket).
-One of my bosses whom I would have entered into a low stakes bracket with if gambling were legal, had NO IDEA how to fill out a bracket, or how the scoring worked. And he is a sports fan. I had to explain that you didn't pick each round individually after they were played, that you in fact picked the WHOLE THING before they were played. He couldn't understand what would happen if all the teams you picked lost right away. I was baffled. Is this a generational thing? This guy is about 10 years older than my dad, but my dad has been filling out brackets with me for like 20 years.
-No high stakes pool with the wife this year. Two years ago I got a PS3 out of a pool with her.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Under Pressure
Dah, Dah, Dah, Dadada, Dah, Dah, Dah, Dadada. --Queen and David Bowie. (And if you don't think I'm listening to this song as I type this, you are crazy)
I have now resolved to just stop worry about whether Creighton is in or not, and to stop pouring over all 6,000 bracket predictions on the web. Because it doesn't fucking matter. I can't control any of it, so why worry. As the great Kyle Whelliston said "Forget it, you're out." And while the Mid-Majority concentrates on discrimination against small schools versus the big ones, he's right. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks other than the committee, so while stress myself out? Why trade endless texts all week with the great Twinkie as we dissect every first round game in the Big Ten tourney. (As I type this, ESPN is saying Creighton is the second to last team in). I'm just going to settle in, watch some halfway decent hoop today, and wait for the results. Then I'm going to bitch and moan about it until the fantasy baseball draft at 10 p.m.
-As an aside, I just want to point out that I came across a 1985 Packers-Bears game on NFL network last night. It was awesome because it was the original broadcast version. Jim fucking Zorn was starting at QB, and missing a wide open Phillip Epps by like ten yards. A pre-aunt raping Mossy Cade was breaking up passes. Mike Ditka was wearing tight ass pants. Forest Gregg looked homeless. The Pack had those weird jerseys with the G on the sleeve.
-In diet news, I bought my wife an Oreo Blizzard Ice Cream cake for her birthday treat. One eighth of the cake has 760 fucking calories. Being on a diet is gay.
-How the fuck did the U.S. get mercy ruled by Puerto Rico? Also, I was one more season of Babe Ruth ball away from starting in right field for the Netherlands.
I have now resolved to just stop worry about whether Creighton is in or not, and to stop pouring over all 6,000 bracket predictions on the web. Because it doesn't fucking matter. I can't control any of it, so why worry. As the great Kyle Whelliston said "Forget it, you're out." And while the Mid-Majority concentrates on discrimination against small schools versus the big ones, he's right. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks other than the committee, so while stress myself out? Why trade endless texts all week with the great Twinkie as we dissect every first round game in the Big Ten tourney. (As I type this, ESPN is saying Creighton is the second to last team in). I'm just going to settle in, watch some halfway decent hoop today, and wait for the results. Then I'm going to bitch and moan about it until the fantasy baseball draft at 10 p.m.
-As an aside, I just want to point out that I came across a 1985 Packers-Bears game on NFL network last night. It was awesome because it was the original broadcast version. Jim fucking Zorn was starting at QB, and missing a wide open Phillip Epps by like ten yards. A pre-aunt raping Mossy Cade was breaking up passes. Mike Ditka was wearing tight ass pants. Forest Gregg looked homeless. The Pack had those weird jerseys with the G on the sleeve.
-In diet news, I bought my wife an Oreo Blizzard Ice Cream cake for her birthday treat. One eighth of the cake has 760 fucking calories. Being on a diet is gay.
-How the fuck did the U.S. get mercy ruled by Puerto Rico? Also, I was one more season of Babe Ruth ball away from starting in right field for the Netherlands.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
How Creighton Can Get To The Dance
While loss in the Valley semis was crushing to the Jays, I actually think that being knocked down to the "First Four Out" level 8 days before Selection Sunday could be to their advantage. There is very little likelihood of their tournament resume getting any worse compared to the teams that are still playing. Historically, I would say that more teams are going to play themselves out of a bid this week than are going to play themselves in. Oh there will be a few to come out of nowhere to snatch a bid (see Cleveland St.). But for every 2008 Georgia, there are going to be a half dozen or so complete flops in the power conference tournaments. This year especially, there is a meaty center of the bracket where the 8 to 12 seeds live, and all of them could lay an egg on any given night (see Wisconsin all year). I'm pretty certain that all of the mid-major bids are now spoken for, and the Butler loss was one that really hurt CU. Anyway, here are the teams left to root against (and I realize a large chunk of these teams will get in no matter what, I probably left some out and that I left out Wisconsin):
Big Ten: Minnesota, Michigan, Penn St., Ohio St., Northwestern
Big East: Providence, Notre Dame, West Virginia
Pac 10: Arizona, USC
ACC: Va Tech, Maryland, Boston College, Miami
A-10: Anyone not named Xavier or Dayton
Big 12: Texas, OK St., Texas A&M, Kansas St.
C-USA: Anyone not named Memphis
MWC: BYU, SD St., Utah, New Mexico, UNLV
SEC: Kentucky, Florida, South Carolina and Auburn
If all those teams fall flat (impossible), then what CU has done should be good enough to get them in. And that is why winning 11 out of your last 12 isn't a terrible place to be while everyone else can lose big.
Big Ten: Minnesota, Michigan, Penn St., Ohio St., Northwestern
Big East: Providence, Notre Dame, West Virginia
Pac 10: Arizona, USC
ACC: Va Tech, Maryland, Boston College, Miami
A-10: Anyone not named Xavier or Dayton
Big 12: Texas, OK St., Texas A&M, Kansas St.
C-USA: Anyone not named Memphis
MWC: BYU, SD St., Utah, New Mexico, UNLV
SEC: Kentucky, Florida, South Carolina and Auburn
If all those teams fall flat (impossible), then what CU has done should be good enough to get them in. And that is why winning 11 out of your last 12 isn't a terrible place to be while everyone else can lose big.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Anthony Smith < Nostradamus
Great. The Packers finally pull the trigger on a free agent, and in the off chance that he doesn't suck, and actually contributes in a meaningful way, I already have another reason ready to be annoyed by him. It is pretty under reported that Anthony Smith is "that guy" whom Tom Brady went out of his way to toast for 399 yards and 4 TDs. At least he doesn't need to fear Orton, Rosenfels and Culpepper. Sigh.
Why do I have a feeling that Richard and I are going to be ejected from the Lambeau Field Atrium on draft day?
Why do I have a feeling that Richard and I are going to be ejected from the Lambeau Field Atrium on draft day?
Monday, March 9, 2009
I Guess I Had A Few Excess Pounds
I don't want to keep dwelling on this diet thing, but it is pretty much the only non-sports relating thing going on right now (other than the thundersnow we had again yesterday) so indulge me for a second. I had my own personal "Biggest Loser"-style weigh in this morning in my bathroom, minus the TV cameras and that nutty trainer bitch. I felt that according to my fuzzy math, based on my caloric intake v. calories burned that I would lose 2 pounds. And scale says.....minus FIVE. Holy fucking shit. I didn't even try that hard. I ate half a stuffed crust pizza yesterday. I worked out (not counting the stairs I walk up and down at work, and blowing snow) ONE time. I got FIVE boxes of Girl Scout cookies. That being said, I'm pretty sure three pounds are going to magically appear at some point. I'm also pretty fucking sure all the women in my office want to murder me and feast on (what's left of) my substance.Sunday, March 8, 2009
Trail of Tears
So last night, I decided to hop in the car to try to watch a live, televised sodomization of a bird (and not one with a red color). Only, I couldn't find a bar in Green Bay with the satellite capabilities. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Its not like the game was being shot on a fucking handheld and being shown on the campus access station. It was on fucking FSN Midwest. ALL cable/satellite systems can get it for about an additional $50 a month. But the three largest sports bars in Green Bay didn't have it. You cheap fucks. I've about had it with this shit. I am going to open a fucking bar, and have ACTUAL fucking satellite systems to watch SPORTING EVENTS. Fucking assholes.
-It turns out it was for the best. But still.
-So I guess the eleven games in a row the Jays won don't mean anything since they had one bad game, because now it is a forgone conclusion that they are out. At the very least it is going to be a long day Sunday. But in my worthless, biased opinion, they should be in.
-My brother is going to be crushed by the news that Matty Wise is retiring.
-Bought MLB '09: The Show yesterday. And I can't hit a curveball, or a changeup, or a fastball for that matter. Lets just say I've got a few kinks to work out. I've never played the game before so everything is taking some getting used to.
The Road to the Show mode is fucking rad. Somehow I made myself a pitcher, and in my mind I'm a huge black dude with blonde hair. I got drafted by the Nationals, and am pitching my way through Spring Training. You pitch games, and have to complete goals like "get a ground ball out" or "don't let this run score". The more points you get, the better your attributes get.
The best part of the game is how real the players are, my wife actually asked me if the Brewers were on last night when she walked into the room. The players mannerisms are so dead on it is scary. Like when Braun goes up to the plate, and does his thing with his batting gloves and takes his deep breath. Or Fatty Tumor, shrugging his shoulders to get the jersey out of his fat rolls.
-It turns out it was for the best. But still.
-So I guess the eleven games in a row the Jays won don't mean anything since they had one bad game, because now it is a forgone conclusion that they are out. At the very least it is going to be a long day Sunday. But in my worthless, biased opinion, they should be in.
-My brother is going to be crushed by the news that Matty Wise is retiring.
-Bought MLB '09: The Show yesterday. And I can't hit a curveball, or a changeup, or a fastball for that matter. Lets just say I've got a few kinks to work out. I've never played the game before so everything is taking some getting used to.
The Road to the Show mode is fucking rad. Somehow I made myself a pitcher, and in my mind I'm a huge black dude with blonde hair. I got drafted by the Nationals, and am pitching my way through Spring Training. You pitch games, and have to complete goals like "get a ground ball out" or "don't let this run score". The more points you get, the better your attributes get.
The best part of the game is how real the players are, my wife actually asked me if the Brewers were on last night when she walked into the room. The players mannerisms are so dead on it is scary. Like when Braun goes up to the plate, and does his thing with his batting gloves and takes his deep breath. Or Fatty Tumor, shrugging his shoulders to get the jersey out of his fat rolls.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Rise and FIIIIIRRRRRE!!!
For those who didn't see this yet, this is ridiculous. And for those who watched the "video" above and still didn't see it, because it is the worst quality video ever to hit the internet since Paris Hilton, I will describe it to you. The above scene comes after Creighton just got finished blowing a 22 point second half lead, and fell behind on a three with 7 seconds left, which was followed by a missed shot that was tipped out of bounds with 1.9 seconds left. What you see is Valley player of the year Booker Motherfuckin' Woodfox hitting the ugliest looking jumpshot on the planet. What you might not realize is that this is what his jumper always looks like, and he shoots 51% from beyond the arc. His shot is a mix between Shawn Marion and Bill Cartwright. On his free throws he lines up with his heels at the three point line, crouches down as far as he can, throws the ball towards the free throw line, takes one giant crouched step, catches, stands up straight legged, and hits about 80% from the line. And he's got a small flat top. And I found video!
I'm sort of in love with him. Not pictured: P'Allen Stinnett dunking with his off hand behind his head.
Of course, all I could muster was a silent Tiger Woods-like fist pump because I was watching ESPN's scoreboard update every thirty seconds because I'm a) too lazy to go to a bar to try to find the game, b) too cheap to upgrade my dish, c) too cheap to buy it on the internets.
I was pretty sure we were playing Bradley this afternoon, but I guess we are playing Illinois St. Whatever, I think we are in. We weren't even one of the "last four out" according to Joe Lunardi (whom isn't that great at what he does, but I'm too lazy for any other research while I should be "working").
Friday, March 6, 2009
Conspiracy Theories!
I wasn't going to type anything today because I wanted to see how long we could keep our riveting Slim Fast discussion going. Today in the comment section, I think we should concentrate on really listening to our partners, and tips for doing so....
But seriously, I came into "work early" this morning, which for me means to waste as much time as I can before doing any actual work, and then making it completely pointless to come in early, since I didn't get anything done anyway. And I hear a pretty good rumor, and am starting one too. Because I love me some conspiracies.
Conspiracy #1: This has started to wane a little since A-Rod is going to attempt to play through his injury, but I heard this yesterday: That baseball a) doesn't want A-Rod to really admit anything wrong, b) doesn't want to embarrass their biggest star with a publicized suspension, c) wants to punish him for fucking up. So they make up an injury that is invisible to the naked eye, and that is coincidentally going to keep him out about 10 weeks, which according to my calculations, would be around mid-May, and right around 50 games, which coincidentally, is exactly the suspension for a first time offense under the steroid policy. I heard this on local sports radio the other day, so I can't take credit.
Conspiracy #2: I'm making this up. ESPN last night was tossing around all the third basemen the Yankees would look to get if A-Rod was out awhile. Bobby Crosby, Mark Tehean, and some other losers came up. But you know who didn't come up, but SHOULD have? How about Billy Hall? Wouldn't THIS be a fucking blessing? Not only are you shedding an enormous (for the Brewers) salary on a below average player, but you'll get something probably pretty good in return, AND it gives you an excuse to bring up your choice of Matt Gamel or Alcides Escobar. Believe me, Billy is VERY available. CALL ME BRIAN CASHMAN!!
-Arch Madness tonight: CU v. Wichita at 6 p.m.
-Video Game news: I think I'm going to use the 45 seconds of personal time I have between now and April 15th to buy MLB '09: The Show. Reportedly the best baseball game ever.
But seriously, I came into "work early" this morning, which for me means to waste as much time as I can before doing any actual work, and then making it completely pointless to come in early, since I didn't get anything done anyway. And I hear a pretty good rumor, and am starting one too. Because I love me some conspiracies.
Conspiracy #1: This has started to wane a little since A-Rod is going to attempt to play through his injury, but I heard this yesterday: That baseball a) doesn't want A-Rod to really admit anything wrong, b) doesn't want to embarrass their biggest star with a publicized suspension, c) wants to punish him for fucking up. So they make up an injury that is invisible to the naked eye, and that is coincidentally going to keep him out about 10 weeks, which according to my calculations, would be around mid-May, and right around 50 games, which coincidentally, is exactly the suspension for a first time offense under the steroid policy. I heard this on local sports radio the other day, so I can't take credit.
Conspiracy #2: I'm making this up. ESPN last night was tossing around all the third basemen the Yankees would look to get if A-Rod was out awhile. Bobby Crosby, Mark Tehean, and some other losers came up. But you know who didn't come up, but SHOULD have? How about Billy Hall? Wouldn't THIS be a fucking blessing? Not only are you shedding an enormous (for the Brewers) salary on a below average player, but you'll get something probably pretty good in return, AND it gives you an excuse to bring up your choice of Matt Gamel or Alcides Escobar. Believe me, Billy is VERY available. CALL ME BRIAN CASHMAN!!
-Arch Madness tonight: CU v. Wichita at 6 p.m.
-Video Game news: I think I'm going to use the 45 seconds of personal time I have between now and April 15th to buy MLB '09: The Show. Reportedly the best baseball game ever.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I Guess I Should Post Something
- The NFL free agent situation as it pertains to the Green Bay Packers is getting a bit awkward for me. While all of the other teams are seemingly blowing every nickel they can find, the Packers have had exactly ONE player even come to Green Bay for a visit. Two guys are already off the board that I thought the Packers might be interested in making a run at. And from everything I've read, the Packers didn't even talk to the guys (Haynesworth and Canty). To be fair, I think both guys probably got overpaid, and I don't think the Packers should overpay guys. But their "system" seems to be to wait until anyone I've heard of has been signed by someone else, so they don't have to spend any money. Now, maybe Ted Thompson is some kind of mad scientist genius who has a Moneyball-esque system to evaluate talent. But if that is the case, it hasn't really paid off yet. I am still giving Thompson my trust (prepare for a 10,000 word rebuttal from Richard), but the whole thing is getting a little tiresome. Obviously, we were lacking in talent at alot of places on defense (see d-line), and we switched to a system we probably don't have pieces for, so I would at least like to see a little effort here.
-Shout out to jsonline.com's excellent Free Agent/Packer blog.
-Why all the talk of the Vikings being interested in Jay Cutler? They are already the overwhelming favorites because of the Sage Rosenfels trade. The Vikings can only play one QB, right? Oh wait, Sage Rosenfels fucking sucks.
-Braden Looper is the the DL because he pulled a muscle sneezing. Gagne pulled one trying to shoot himself up. Fielder pulled one walking to first base. Weeks pulled one swinging and missing. Might as well start this train up early.
-March Madness is on-ish. Arch Madness starts tomorrow, and I'm getting the feeling that a win or two by CU will get them an at-large. You might remember about a month ago when I said if they won out, they would get an at-large. Well, they proceeded to win ten straight. Also, I think Bucky is safe, and I think the World Baseball Classic might be a distraction to work for a few weeks.
-Leinie's Classic Amber? Meh. Tastes an awful lot like La Crosse Lager, although I don't believe it is fully krausened. (Ed. note: I have to point out that in the spell check "krausened" came up as "kerosene". I don't think this is a coincidence).
-I've already lost a pound on my diet.
-Work sucks my dick.
-Shout out to jsonline.com's excellent Free Agent/Packer blog.
-Why all the talk of the Vikings being interested in Jay Cutler? They are already the overwhelming favorites because of the Sage Rosenfels trade. The Vikings can only play one QB, right? Oh wait, Sage Rosenfels fucking sucks.
-Braden Looper is the the DL because he pulled a muscle sneezing. Gagne pulled one trying to shoot himself up. Fielder pulled one walking to first base. Weeks pulled one swinging and missing. Might as well start this train up early.
-March Madness is on-ish. Arch Madness starts tomorrow, and I'm getting the feeling that a win or two by CU will get them an at-large. You might remember about a month ago when I said if they won out, they would get an at-large. Well, they proceeded to win ten straight. Also, I think Bucky is safe, and I think the World Baseball Classic might be a distraction to work for a few weeks.
-Leinie's Classic Amber? Meh. Tastes an awful lot like La Crosse Lager, although I don't believe it is fully krausened. (Ed. note: I have to point out that in the spell check "krausened" came up as "kerosene". I don't think this is a coincidence).
-I've already lost a pound on my diet.
-Work sucks my dick.
A Couple Sports Illustrated Preview/Reviews
Sorry guys. I figure you'd be more turned on by the Cole Hamels cover, but I went with this one instead.
While I casually perused the swimsuit edition I was a little saddened by the lack of Marissa Miller, although she appears in an ad. My new favorite is Lucia Dvorska. Beware of the last name, married guys.
All in all, your typical swimsuit edition. I hear Andy Roddick is with Brooklyn Decker. Lucky man.
NBA Players Poll - With the game on the line, which NBA player would you want to take the last shot? Pretty obvious answer. #1 got 76%.
Does anyone else wanna punch Lane Kiffin? What a pompous ass he is.
Nascar preview!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am a fan of nascar, but not diehard. I have $20 on Tony Stewart to win the championship. "Pussy, money and race cars. That's pretty much all I care about." Very endearing.
Tiger Woods on another cover. I want his life.
NBA Players Poll - Who is the worst dribbler in the NBA? Two guys received double digit %.
Lance Armstrong is back. My g/f thinks he's hot. So does Juice.
Tiger has a border collie. Gotta love the borders. I have one of my own.
Did Rajon Rondo like the Marbury signing?
Did Mo Williams like being traded to the Cavs?
Jason Giambi - created the template for handling being caught using whatever he used. He never actually said what he used, but he apologized for it and he basically escaped a lot of the scrutiny he would've gotten had he handled it like ARod.
Stafford WANTS to play for the Lions, and it's not about the money. In the words of Jim Rome, when an athlete says it's not about the money, it's about the money.
Cole Hamels graces the cover of an SI. He's living the life right now. The ace of the World Series champs, in his early 20's with a hot wife.
Nate Robinson has hops. Speaking of hops, I used to be able to dunk. That's right. A 5'11" white guy. Don't doubt the skills. Now I wonder if I could touch the rim. Maybe.
NBA Players Poll - Who's the most annoying defensive player? Pretty obvious.
Tangent of the week - why do people care when all-time great athletes play past their prime (i.e. He Who Shall Not Be Named, Jerry Rice, Michael Jordan)? It's not anyone's business what these guys to with their lives. If they love the sport and have fun doing it then why wouldn't they do it? Legacies are not tarnished. They still made a shitload of cash and played a sport many people only dream of playing. Back the fuck off.
Damn, the Big East is rough.
SI gives the ACC it's props. The ACC is the 2nd toughest conference. Bite me Juice.
Random thoughts -
The Bucks took a huge dump last night. I was working. They were up 8 with maybe 5 minutes left. I got out of the car and went into a gas station. I came out a couple minutes later and they had given up four 3's in a row and were down 1. That was a huge HUGE loss.
I've received a "that's fine" from the g/f to attend the online baseball draft on the 15th. I feel like I'm walking through a minefield with clown shoes on.
#1 seeds - UCONN, Pitt, Oklahoma, UNC
I hate to say it b/c it means I was wrong a few weeks ago, but the Badgers are in the tourney.
The best couple weeks of the year are almost upon us. This is the time of year I miss high school. The start of the baseball season, the NCAA tourney, warm weather... Always good times.
My high school alumni basketball tournament is in a couple weeks. I haven't played basketball since this tournament 2 years ago. I will be 100% winded after about 4 times up and down the court. No exaggeration. My entire body will be sore the next day. I workout about 10-15 times a month, but I rarely do cardio. And doing cardio at a gym will not get anyone is basketball shape anyways.
Cory Hart is going to have a big year. I have a gut feeling.
A previous post said some random Twins outfielder could break Rickey Henderson's stolen base record. At least I think that's what he was referring to. No one will break that record. He had 130 stolen bases in one year. That would be two great years nowadays. He had over a hundred other years as well. Besides, he played forever. You are on crack, and you know who you are.
ESPN has Mat Gamel as the top 3rd base rookie.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)