I Guess I Had A Few Excess Pounds

I don't want to keep dwelling on this diet thing, but it is pretty much the only non-sports relating thing going on right now (other than the thundersnow we had again yesterday) so indulge me for a second. I had my own personal "Biggest Loser"-style weigh in this morning in my bathroom, minus the TV cameras and that nutty trainer bitch. I felt that according to my fuzzy math, based on my caloric intake v. calories burned that I would lose 2 pounds. And scale says.....minus FIVE. Holy fucking shit. I didn't even try that hard. I ate half a stuffed crust pizza yesterday. I worked out (not counting the stairs I walk up and down at work, and blowing snow) ONE time. I got FIVE boxes of Girl Scout cookies. That being said, I'm pretty sure three pounds are going to magically appear at some point. I'm also pretty fucking sure all the women in my office want to murder me and feast on (what's left of) my substance.