Wednesday, March 31, 2010
At the end of the day, he isn't pitching for us right this second, so this satisfies me. What doesn't satisfy me is that I have to continue being stressed out about the possibility of them deciding he will be the fifth starter in mid-April (since we don't need one until then).
The best case scenario is that Parra, Narveson and Bush are lights out for a few weeks leaving the Crew no choice but to run Suppan over with a car to say he is now out for the year, or cut him.
The worst case scenario is Parra, Narveson or Bush getting hurt or lit up, giving Melvin an excuse to pitch Suppan again.
To me, anything short of TWO of the three getting put on the DL in the first two weeks of the year, would not justify keeping Soup.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
But seriously. Even 20 years ago, how did people do ANYTHING at work? By hand? That is crazy. What did people do when they were pretending to work? I think that probably frightens me more than my DVR growing legs and murdering me for making it record PTI every day, and then erasing it without watching it.
I have come to the conclusion that I could not have functioned in the work place prior to 1995. Thankfully, I starting working at Dairy Queen in 1996, so I didn't have to find out. But I didn't need a computer to mix a Blizzard either.
BREW CITY RECAP IN ONE GIGANTIC RAMBLING PARAGRAPH
Went to the wedding. The only person I knew was this insane pot head chick from college, with a penchant for making up ridiculous lies, who I hadn't seen in 7 years that had gained about 60 pounds. I pounded 5 free Miller Lites, and braved the needless 45 minutes where the "bar was closed", which didn't make any sense at all. I then ate the buffet, which was pretty tasty. Sports Bottle picked myself and Mrs. Juice up. We went to a piano bar. Endured poor service and two drinks. Then we went to Milwaukee Ale House where we were duped into a $5.00 cover charge for a shitty classic rock cover charge. I had somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 pints of microbrew, and we stole a cab. We went back to the hotel, which reminded us all of the Overlook Hotel from The Shining. We put our chicks to bed and closed down the hotel bar after two or three vodka drinks. The bathroom had cloth towels instead of paper towels, and you literally took one or ten, and threw them into a hamper when you were done. It was insane. I face planted in the room, woke up drunk 8 hours later and made Mrs. Juice drive me home. Stopped at Taco Bell on the way home and spent the next 8 hours on the couch at home trying not to die. THE END.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
We've got a white KNUCKLEERRRR!!!!
The baby FACED ASSASSINNNN!!!!
This broadcast is available in HIGH DEFINITIONNNN!!!!
As always, emphasis added by me, to portray screaming.
I love me some Gus Johnson. It was put on a tee for him so perfectly last night. There could not have been two better games for him to call. Had it not been for him screaming, I would have surely fallen asleep around hour 3 of KSU-Xavier last night. That call is going down as one of the best, mostly because the game itself was so great, and because we are going to be watching that one on ESPN Classic for the next 30 years. You've got to appreciate Gus because you really BELIEVE him when he is yelling. You believe that he is as into it as you are (probably more). He obviously loves what he is doing, or he is a helluva actor. There is nothing fake about it. Whatever just happened in the game seems ten times cooler when Gus calls it. A pretty exciting play turns into something that brings a smile to your face when the emotion is added. We are lucky to have someone like Gus calling games, and we should have him around at least another 20 or so years. Lets hope that if CBS loses the tournament, that he goes wherever the tournament does, because it isn't that same without him.
I swear the attraction is completely platonic and that I wouldn't sleep with him (unless he agreed to do the play by play).
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they are trying to trade him and that is why it is taking so long. I dunno. But I doubt they are going to cut him at this point, and that is a shame. The Brewers are good enough to compete for the playoffs with a semi-competent pitching staff, but they are not good enough to lose three or four games while giving a guy the chance to pitch his way out of something, that he has been trying to pitch his way out of for two plus seasons.
IN OTHER NEWS
Twinkie forced someone to steal us great tickets to one of the Brewer-Twin games in Minnesota in May. I've never paid more than like $30 for a baseball ticket, and we are paying $62 (regular price) for these. I look forward to a rain out.
-Sports Bottle and our female companions are going to drink ourselves blind in Brew City on Saturday night after I attend the wedding of one of his ex-girlfriends. I wish I could just skip the wedding. Whatever. Me after 60+ hours of work for 8 straight weeks, on like no sleep, plus drinking to get drunk = forgetting things.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Guy Who Just Wasted Space On The Internets With Rubbish
Once again my homer picks blew up in my face, immediately. I will say this though, Marquette's bounce from the tourney was not because of lack of effort, Washington has played phenomenally thus far. Seriously, after they beat Marquette I said there was no way they would win another game, then they just beat down New Mexico. Wisconsin? They fucking stunk it up, both games. Got extremely lucky to get out of the first round and then played exactly the same the second round and deservedly were bounced out.
My biggest surprises of the tourney thus far?
Purdue, I really thought they had no chance to get to the sweet 16 and I still think they get murdered by Duke, but to win two tourney games without Hummel has been very surprising.
Obviously Kansas going down. I kind of had a feeling they might lose, but in the second round to Northern Iowa? No fucking way. I was thinking maybe Ohio St or a Final Four game.
The Big East sucking ass. I might have to stop all my crowing I do every year about how awesome the Big East is as a conference, they didn't even look pedestrian this year, they looked awful. It's up to Syracuse and WVU to redeem them.
Everything else was pretty much run of the mill for tourney, there's gonna be some big upsets, gonna be some little ones. I knew better than to praise Minnesota, but at least I anti-jinxed them. Other than that it's just been my homer picks and Big East bias that really cost me in my bracket. Which is why I hardly ever do these fucking things for money anymore, I've managed to eliminate almost all of my bias from fantasy sports, but I just can't do it when I'm picking my brackets. Oh well, my champion is still alive, Go UK!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Or because I'm just lazy. Either way.
Yesterday was absolutely bananas. It was the least disappointing start to any sporting event in recent memory. Started out 8-0 in my "researched bracket"....and finished 12-4. Fucking Marquette. I'm sort of glad they lost. Thanks for coming Georgetown.
I'm going dark Jack Bauer style at 2 p.m. CST so that I can be up until 1 a.m. watching the games on a slight delay (although I will probably catch up because of lack of commercials at some point). DON'T CONTACT ME!!!
Only upsets I've really got today are Utah St. and Georgia Tech, neither of which are that huge. I also picked Florida St. over Gonzaga for some reason, even though Gonzaga is going to beat Syracuse in round 2. Or Vermont, because some asshole at the Green Bay Press Gazette picked Vermont over Syracuse.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
So here we go!
I'll start by saying I have a Final Four pick playing right now. That's right... BYU. Why BYU? Their offensive and defensive efficiency ratings are solid, top 20 for both. They don't turn the ball over, they bomb from behind the arc, my only knock on them is that they haven't played anyone. Wait that's a pretty big knock... Nobody said this was an exact science right?
In the East I have a repeat regional final from 2003 with Kentucky, Marquette and Wisconsin all making the sweet 16. I really wanted to pick the play in game for the Final Four to be between Wisconsin and Marquette, but I just couldn't do it. I have Kentucky coming out of the East, but of course since cheaters always get what they deserve, I'm sure Bucky will end up stomping them. I could easily see Wisconsin or Marquette coming out of this bracket. No love to West Virginia, New Mexico sucks.
Midwest is not a very interesting region, I had a couple small upsets in first round, G Tech and SD State, but after that it gets pretty run of the mill. I really didn't want Kansas to come out of that bracket and into my final, but when you look at the numbers and their record, it's tough not to pick them. Ohio State is a sexy pick if Turner can take over a couple games in a row. Michigan State sucks, Maryland is blah and G'Town has too many flaws to challenge Ohio St or Kansas.
South is also kinda boring, Duke got a fucking cake walk to the Final Four, but I did get to put Utah St and St Mary's in my sweet 16. Nova is an over rated 2, Purdue is a limping 4, Duke and Baylor in my elite eight. I fucking hate Duke and I hate the NCAA bracket deciders for giving them this walk. It's an outrage to be perfectly honest. Bullshit! My only consolation for this is that the Tar Heels missed the tourney this year.
The bottom half of the West bracket is REALLY interesting to me. I have Minnesota winning their first game and I really wanted to pick them to win a second game, but I just couldn't do it. Kansas St is really good and I think it may have been dumb of me to pick BYU over them and then have BYU run to the Final Four, but fuck it, all 1 and 2 seeds is a boring bracket to pick and I already had 3 1 seeds in. Pitt is beatable, Butler is a scary 5 seed I think, Vanderbilt, who did they play?
My Final Four is BYU, Kansas, Duke and Kentucky, my final is Kentucky and Kansas and my champion is Kentucky! Once I got to Elite Eight my bias's took over, they always do!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
My sports betting funds have run out. I lazily placed some bets over the past month or two but wasn't into it very much anymore. But I'm rejuventated by March Madness and would like to blow about a hundred bucks over the next couple weeks. But those Nazis over at MasterCard have decided to decline all transactions related to gambling websites. So I'm freaking out. I am on the phone with these assholes as I speak. I have a credit limit of $27,000 and an account balance of $0.00. Seriously, float me a hundy.
So, I'm now off the phone. I called, gave all the required passwords and secret answers and they still informed me they will not approve the transaction. FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID BITCH. At least learn how to speak English correctly before you tell me to go screw myself! Does my call go directly to New Dehli or something?
I have one last ditch effort that will hopefully come through before the games start tomorrow morning.
Last Friday, UW was taking on Illinois in the Big Ten tourney. I was sitting at my desk, with the ESPN TV feed playing on my computer, while sort of working, albeit not real efficiently. My monitor is in the perfect location relative to the door to my office, meaning it faces away from the door. So nobody can really tell what is on the screen unless they come around to my side of the desk. Anyway, about half time of the Badger game, one of my bosses (who is a big sports fan, and who knows that I am too) pokes his head in and asks me what the score was. I was a bit flabbergasted. I'm not sure if he knew that I was keeping track and didn't care, but just wanted to know the score. Or if he just assumed? I sort of played dumb like I wasn't watching it on TV and told him "last time I checked the Badgers were down nine....". I hadn't left my desk so I'm positive he didn't know the extent of my slacking. I personally don't think there is anything wrong with monitoring a scoreboard every few minutes, but I'm not the boss either.
When the game was over, he poked his head in again and asked. This time, I was onto his game and told him I don't know. He seemed disappointed and confused by the answer. Then I decided I would be "helpful" and say "Let me check. " And then he came to my side of the desk while I pulled up the box score.
The second incident occurred yesterday. Thursday and Friday of the NCAA tournament are about my two favorite days of the year. In a past life, I would skip class/take off of work to watch all day long. In my current position I can't do that. What I can do, however, is manipulate my schedule so that I don't have any appointments and can be sitting behind my computer between the hours of 11 a.m. and 4 p.m., where I may or may not watch MMOD. So last night (yes, last night) one of my bosses decided to come into my office while I was in there to take a look at our calenders to see if they could pawn some stuff off on me this week. When they reached Thursday and saw 5 hours blocked off with no explanation, the question was "what is this?" I just said, I don't want any appointments. Then, they went to Friday and saw the same thing and said "You don't ever want appointments or what?" So that was awkward. Nothing incriminating, but one of those things that will probably cause the bosses to wonder what I'm doing during those hours. My only saving grace is that this particular boss is not a sports fan, and probably doesn't realize that there is basketball being played during those hours.
The question is: Is there any reason for me to be concerned? I say not because I have been working 60+ hours a week for the last 6 weeks, and I feel I deserve to fuck around for two half days. Thoughts?
DVR ALERT!!! Friday, beginning at 2 p.m. do not attempt to communicate with me in any way unless someone died. I will be going dark and will be watching the last three sessions of the tournament beginning at 6 p.m. as if they were happening live due to Bucky playing at 1:50 p.m. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
ST. PATTY'S DAY: Happy amateur hour! Even though I'm a quarter Irish, I don't need an excuse to get drunk. I prefer Wednesday as an excuse. While getting drunk on green beer is fun, it also brings out the assholes who can't handle their liquor and like to start fights. And it is annoying.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Today in 3rd String Packer TEs Who Were Once LBs Getting OWIs After Crashing His Motorcycle While Not Wearing A Helmet
Monday, March 15, 2010
- I will start with conspiracies. Richard and I logged on to the Twin's website at 9 a.m. sharp to purchase tickets to Brewers v. Twins in May. We were both promptly placed in an online waiting room. About 9:20, we received a message that the tickets were no longer available online....unless, that is, we want to purchase season tickets. First of all, that is fucking ridiculous. But that isn't all. Sunday's game gave us a similar message. A click back on Saturday gave the same message, with a link to StubHub, where there were over a 1,000 tickets available, less than a half hour after tickets went on sale!!! So here goes the conspiracy theory: 1) The Twins are no different than the Vikings when it comes to screwing Wisconsin fans. The Vikings force anyone that wants to buy a ticket to the Packer game to buy a preseason game too. I believe the Twins want season tickets sales, so they are doing whatever they can to get it. 2) There is no fucking way all of the available tickets were put up for sale on Saturday. While it is feasible to sell out a large number of weekend games over the course of a half day or so, there is no way every ticket was sold in 20 minutes. Even if we assume that 22,000 (which is the latest estimate I heard) were gone by way of season tickets. That means that nearly 18,000 tickets had to go in 20 minutes. This translates to nearly 1,000 tickets a minute, which, is fucking impossible. 3) It is also pretty unlikely that within 20 minutes, 1,000 of these alleged 18,000 ended up on StubHub.
I believe that the Twins not only held back a number of the single game tickets, but also put some on Stub Hub themselves to try to raise Joe Mauer money.
So now, I have to wait it out and hope to get a $20 ticket for less than $50.
-I saw a horrible movie on Saturday. "Brooklyn's Finest" is an absolute piece of shit. And I wanted to like it. But I couldn't even justified being entertained despite giving it the benefit of the doubt, and the gratuitous violence, nudity and harsh language (all of which are requirements for me to love a movie). The story (or stories) was just so bad and pointless that the other things couldn't overcome it. Two of the three main characters (Ethan Hawke and Richard Gere) were depressing and unlikeable. The other main character (Don Cheadle) was the only one I cared about at all, and even he (who I love) was not able to carry the other two thirds of the shitty movie. The only other good thing was that the scenes appear to have really been shot in Brooklyn's projects. So to recap: nudity + violence + swearing + Don Cheadle - an awful story= 3 out of 10. I would not even recommend renting it.
-LT to Viking fans: Fuck you. I don't want to play with He Who Shall Not Be Named. And your coach sucks.
-For the first time in recent memory, Bucky didn't get hosed by the selection committee. I like their path to Kentucky in the Sweet 16. And from there? Who knows? I am going to have to DVR the game Friday because they play at 1:50. Which is going to ruin my whole Friday afternoon because I will be a) stressed out about some asshole ruining it, and b) won't be able to watch the games while they are happening.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
To be fair, I can understand how someone can get caught up in the moment and say something stupid that gets printed, either out of context or not, and might not actually mean what they said. But to follow it up later by saying (and I'm paraphrasing) "It was a poor choice of words. I didn't mean to offend anyone. But I meant what I said, and I'm more upset that everyone got offended because it is true."
I'm not really here to argue whether what he said is true or not, or whether I agree with his sentiment. Whether the racism of the American baseball fan has caused them to assume that anyone that isn't white is black, and to assume that there isn't a problem of getting young African Amercians to embrace the game instead of basketball or football (which is what I think Torii meant).
It was just a brazenly stupid thing to say in the politically correct world we live in. One thing that I am interested in is what is going to happen to Mr. Hunter. Because this seems at least somewhat similar, at least in a racial context and on a stupidity level, of what John Rocker said to SI in the late 90's. And he was pretty much blackballed from the league within a year (it didn't help that he got hurt and then couldn't throw a strike). I firmly beleive that nothing will happen to Torii because I think there are a lot of pepole that will excuse unintentional (or not) racism from a person of color, but will not excuse it from a white person. Perhaps because many non-white people have been victims of overt racism themselves. I'm not sure. I'm also not sure why a minority player would attack other minority players. I found that strange. Maybe he thought he would get away with it?
Lastly, Torii somehow found a way to make me like him less, and I didn't think it was possible. First, he played for the Twins. Then, he would dive for routine fly balls in center field for no reason. Then, he complained about Prince Fielder's "atom bomb" celebration, and untucking his shirt like he was some sort of authority on the matter. And now this.
Stay tuned. I hope Ozzie Guillen has something to say about it, because Ozzie Guillen is the only person on the planet with less of a filter. (Ed. Note: If you read further down in the linked story, Ozzie didn't disappoint. Maybe Milton Bradley has something crazy to say? John Rocker?)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
-Go out to our fellow Milwaukee Brewer fans. If yesterday is any indication (3IP, 6H, 3ER), we may have to endure a season without Jeff Suppan and his 5.68 ERA in our starting rotation, it is going to be extremely tough on me personally because I always bet the over when he pitches...
-Go out to people trying to ignore the NBA. The Bucks have won 10 of 11, and aren't going to let you.
-"Lost" fans. Clearly all of your questions have already been answered after last night. You might as well quit watching.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
So in the land of Juice, enjoy your day off America! Also, you have off tomorrow, Thursday and Friday for college hoop action. And a three day week next week with the opening of the NCAA tourney (which has mysteriously caused a block of "No appointments" on my calendar from 11 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Thursday and Friday).
THREE QUICK ASIDES
Last night was one of the most classic episodes of 24 ever. This season has been extremely hit an miss, with a few great episodes and few really, really bad ones. Last night was classic. I hesitate to ruin the best parts for the other person in America that watches the show. But Bauer was great.
To keep on the 24 theme, I watched "Slumdog Millionaire" for the first time the other night. I actually really enjoyed it for some reason. Also, President Hassan on 24 is ruined for me now because he is the host of "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?" in India on the movie. I can't take him seriously anymore.
Also, shout out to my brother for pointing out 1985 Bears v. Packers on NFL Network last night. I enjoyed the shit out of Jim Zorn behind the blocking of Ron Hallstrom handing off to Jessie Clark and passing to Phillip Epps for at least 45 minutes. Also, if the Packers can have legitimate cheerleaders in 1985, why can't we have them now?? Why do we trot out the fatties from UWGB in windpants???
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Free agency had started. The Packers had not held a gun to Chad Clifton's head and demand that he sign whatever they offered him therefore giving up the chance to check to see if he could cash in one last time. Clearly, Thompson did not utilize the Jack Bauer strategy of kidnapping Clifton's family and threatening their lives if he did not stay in Green Bay. It was obviously Thompson's fault for letting Clifton hit the open market, because the player has no choice in the matter.
Not only that but OMFG! The Bears paid an aging (pretty freakishly athletic, but still aging) 4-3 Defensive end, who doesn't like to work very hard, 6 years, 91.5 million with $42 mil guaranteed. Obviously, Thompson should have offered him $100 mil to play a position he had never played before! Either that or had him killed so that the Bears couldn't overpay him.
Then, Detroit went out and signed Kyle Vanden Bosch! And Nate Burleson!! They are going to win the Super Bowl!! And the Bears also signed a backup running back! GASP!
It was seriously panic on sports radio. Thompson had no plan, Chicago and Detroit were not going to lose a game except when they play each other. He Who Shall Not Be Named will be back, and the Vikings will be 12-4 (losing only to the Bears and Lions), the Pack was going to trot out Breno Giaciomini (sp) at left tackle, Rodgers was going to get injured in week one, and we traded away Brian Brohm and OMFG Matt Flynn is going to be our starter and we will go 0-16. This was all based on the fact that a 36 year old LT with bad hips and bad knees was going to visit Washington.
Oh, and overnight they signed Clifton to a 3 year, $20 mil deal. Seriously. Calm the fuck down. I would enjoy the Pack making a splash. But they will be fine. Ted has a plan, and he is working his plan. You (Packer fan) are not on the phone listening to what is going on. You can't just give the players everything they ask for without negotiating anything. If you did that, you would be the Washington Redskins. Or the Bears I guess. It will be fine. Have a can or 15 of Busch Light. Smoke some cigs. Eat some fried cheese. The Packers are still going to be fine. I will let you know when to panic.
Friday, March 5, 2010
This is the last season of "Lost". "Lost" has been one of my favorite television series of all time. Just six seasons of mind fuck. Which is great, except when the show is supposed to "end" in May, and we are supposed to get "answers" to our "questions". By my calculations there are probably 9 or 10 episodes left, tops. And so far, I am more confused than ever.
Why do they just keep adding character, after character, and back story after back story? You know what I think? I think they thought the series was going to end two years ago with them getting off the island, but then ABC gave them a godfather deal, and now they had to stretch this thing out even further. I just cannot even fathom how this thing can end and give anyone any satisfaction.
So I guess if my "question" was "How could this get anymore confusing, complex, convoluted and fucked up?", then my question has definitely been "answered". Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go study on the Internets for three hours to prepare myself to watch this week's episode off my DVR.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
So, in my quest to justify drinking before noon, I had a brilliant idea. What are legitimate excuses to drink before noon?
- Shit in My Eye
- Snow Volleyball
- Las Vegas
- St Patty's Day
- 12 bars of Christmas (not sure if Richard starts before noon, but it seems like a good tradition in which to do so)
- College Baseball World Series (I did it once)
Schmock and I are adding another this Saturday. We are heading to Rockford, Illinois for OTB. What is OTB you ask? Off track betting. We're gonna sit at some large bowling alley/bar/restaurant and bet on horse races from all over the country. It's gonna be a Vegas sportsbook without the other sports, free drinks and Jeff Higgins. I do believe it's a brilliant idea.
The g/f and I invested in our future together the other day. We purchased a couple's membership to a local golf course. Golf anytime all week and unlimited range balls. I will be a single digit handicap by the end of the summer (probably not).
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Oh, and they play a little bit of basketball too. Creighton plays at 2:30 on Friday against Bradley. Maybe CU has finally put everything together. They have played well the past two weeks. I would give them almost no chance, except for the fact that strange things happen at Arch Madness. Creighton has won ten tournament titles, which is twice as many as any other team. They are also the only team ever to win it as a 4 seed (2000). So anything is possible. If not, I guess there is always the CBI tournament.
So to all students and alumni of Valley schools heading to the Lou tomorrow. I'm jealous. Some day, when my wife and Twinkie's wife finally wise up and get rid of us, and I either quit this job, own the place or Uncle Sam stops requiring taxes to be filed, we will make our triumphant return. Until then, GO JAYS!!!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Today at lunch I was surfing around looking at video game review sites (which are the homepages on the six computers in my parent's basement) checking on release dates (tomorrow) for the baseball games. I fully intended to try it one last time tonight, and then buy the new game, after a short funeral for the old one. Then I read this. What. The. Fuck? ALL the fucking PlayStation 3s on earth are fucked? Really? This is either my worst nightmare or a reality check. I'm not sure which. Now I have to check back with Sony before I can even power the fucking thing on?