Friday, February 5, 2010

Super Bowl Party!! (In My Pants?) (AKA: The Danica Patrick Comment Hour)

I'm not doing anything special for the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl is really one of those occasions (and let's be serious here, it should be a national holiday) where I actually like getting together with people that know nothing about football and talk through the entire game while I eat and drink 17,500 calories. I'm not sure why I don't care. I can't honestly remember the last time that I devoured a Super Bowl game play by play. I always watch, and pay attention, but when you are distracted by food and other people, you aren't really watching. Normally if nobody invites us anywhere, we have something ourselves. But I honestly don't feel like it, and the wife (who usually has the idea) didn't bring it up. So I will just eat 17,500 calories myself I guess.

OTHER SUPER BOWL ODDITIES:

-I don't hate the commercials. It is always kind of fun to see someone blow $40million on a random 30 second spot that I won't remember the next day.

-Lets be honest here. Danica Patrick is pretty attractive. I saw a clip of a GoDaddy commercial that is an 80's spoof. She looks pretty alright.

-NFL Network is starting its pregame at 8 a.m. This year I just haven't had any time to watch more than like 10 minutes of SportsCenter a morning, and no NFL Network. I kind of miss watching it. That being said, I'm pretty certain I will find something better to do for 9 hours.

-The Who is old as shit. But they are a band where most people couldn't name 3 songs they sang, but when you hear it you say "The Who sings that?". They are pretty fucking good. But I bet they will suck balls Sunday.

-FAKE BETTING: Colts (-4.5), Under 56.5, Over 2.5 times showing Kim Kardashian, Over 300.5 passing yards for Manning, Under 3 times showing Eli, Over 4 times showing Archie

10 comments:

JM said...

Taking the under on Eli and the over on Archie is a sucker bet, considering they will likely be in the same box and side-by-side for most of the game. If you reverse that and take the over 3 on Eli and under 4 on Archie, you win on 3 or 4 and only lose the vig on anything else, if they are show together and equitably alone.

Bear said...

I'm sure at some point during the game Archie will send Eli to the corner of the suite, with no food, for not making the Super Bowl again like his good brother Peyton did.

Danica Patrick... is she hot? Or did they just find a chick that sucks at racing who was moderately attractive and gob a shit ton of make up on her? I'm kind of on the fence, but I'm leaning towards the no side.

Juicelaw said...

I tend to sort of agree with Bear, but she is that much more intriguing because she may actually have talent and is a bit intimidating.

JM: I think Eli is going to be sitting in the way back of the box. Nobody is really interested in Eli, but Archie is on all the time. Not actually betting because betting is highly, highly illegal and not fun at all. Betting the under on anything is REALLY stressful. Nice use of the word vig.

Bear said...

I should amend my statement. If Danica Patrick approaches me and says, hey we should go have sex, I'm saying yes. But as far as celebrity hot goes, that's the context in which my above statement lies

Juicelaw said...

See seems like a sort of normal person (probably false) so I think the fact that you could have at one point concievably come across Danica at a bar (not in River Falls) and had a one in a million chance, makes her that much more attractive. You can't say the same about most "celebrities". I tend to agree with you on "celebrity hot" though.

The Sports Bottle said...

I would eat her poop.

Juicelaw said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

PS. He's serious.

Bear said...

I dunno, once a guy makes that claim multiple times it starts to lose its believability

Unkown Blogger said...

she sucks at driving, can't win against noone in Indy or whatever the fuck it is called now; JPM dominated F1 and Indy before struggling a good 3 years in NASCAR... That being said, maybe I would eat a nugget...

Unkown Blogger said...

Also, taking the Colts to win by at least 5 then expecting them to give up less than 26 pts without their 2 best defensive players is going out on a limb, but maybe bob sanders and dwight freeney are overrated...